《赤足的庭院》（2）124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY4ntlYmKK
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003124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxOMdwcYG7
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我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIL11ggw98V
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAYFE7qXen
因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTcmvUHQE4
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RcKhcUkjG
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmxViZMMT3
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtjZtEes16
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqalCXA6PR
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但那不是指現在。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhR8hiCLeD
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWBKXcPQKg
就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0WR5raQVl
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUutpgcn8n
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LNH5MN6sv
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaI3LGvK0n
「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6rQnHU6l9
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CGnpRfBxG
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFNBmI8D8d
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yxdOzlLTE
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbTZJhiJX0
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMYOSJx02A
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIgKtzhCpk
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpe7EfSDa96
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNX0YRbJ7ZL
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HXNjYXdT4
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC6RyIM9zV
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「李靜。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThnoWtwmU4
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHATcz5Z4mu
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktrkzfByB5
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVS3ZybtdxJ
「⋯⋯」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbvsJCPkFm
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviDxT6hCzn
「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS10heNsIK2
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVyDIdXz5c
「哈⋯⋯」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonHPbQfo9E
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGtNI9wU3I
當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYrEB13XF4
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnUf6cR02T
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKa9zJbucTQ
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZ2VmfocqB
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnmvaJMkbb
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjmkWt6CGx
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi7CKAiZ66
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCqb0mIqqt
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSjUCCEAKX
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcivujuhoE
我搖搖頭。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWh6GlgCtnI
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYBf3MewEO
「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbMTfjiDsJ
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgVYsXAsJH
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmlWGYlRhq
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqalCQMx8L1
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSa9HOA9Y20
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「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTTW3L8nx4
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「是的，所以⋯⋯」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIr0KzbozL
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAezY51TAI
「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X3nTOl7P6
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWYiOCOv0V
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOKYaIFSwB
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0IxkUvtKe
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESRdj2951g
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW49JnMNNzM
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrt16jRuRvu
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fqWGVAPqK
「怎麼可能。」她說。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIl9AlSLCXh
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaLQYm3Flx
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEDT3kJvM4
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIqjZEIEDT
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65TpP2RYon
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffhpBY1mBm
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwATouC83kI
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直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBQL5jOcyt
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDQCcncr6o
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQW5aRyv4A
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06v1MmWVKq
但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW0zXuWgZo
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Z7GiwD4Lg
「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRFNUV3tw1
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiq78zSEdR
沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbF3Unq1OW
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bkIUQ2ofz
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfZzPqudY7
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004124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EjwXHxooJ
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124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPPSWusx7A
「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbW6tNcLnuM
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFgCOkf2Uk
「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLz2tO4Jyrg
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijwoPRoetY
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHktqcnyCg2
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「嗯，非常美味。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Gnj2tLib4
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt14DWWEcQd
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69hrz36aJ0
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk6mgQTPFO
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLj9SQ6NWL
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCzqlPznM5
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUSdVd2p2k
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然後她讓我看了台灣附近。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJz5cJohFmK
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡub9iGRjd1x
「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0CFnXifd6
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeu9Zg0rFAG
「嗯⋯⋯。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwJEujyShF
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5NMzq83or
「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV73Ovg1OHl
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlti8UdeYi
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJWwE7LHBx
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPOQQUEaiC
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5tzZJxuNn
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1dTamhV4k
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsp2lkKgIGt
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGKDrzASZn
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7HDU1mJAS
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngIPhVssgx
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VObE5jP4z
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iWsi4uzAT
「什麼？」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3dL1aERFH
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUa0uuYuMv
她又問了一次。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24eoL6cnu0
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fcCEmUXYR
「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiv5Fx6BDY
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOdYiMAEEh
「什麼意思？」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqt1vxMV9C
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr6gt4Aqvc
「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lHCBGObVu
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcBGh3rdw0
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9n8ENsm0DF
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRonQDCAVU
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hff5Ao6gf
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyfGAuwYRJ
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvB1ftst9PV
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDo4EcIQ8y7
「是嗎？」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3UvQXiuIq
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「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaAr8DAdiA
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwA5zDuevwC
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcUjTI8nqz
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果然很像。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8FegEKVi9
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7203aujrZD
午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ThXp6G4cq
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那是我第四次的離家出走。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB8mNlsZc5
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTiH2Mej3Q
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGVElZ2tTz
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW013PhsQD
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2b7O4uSyQ
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TghJjRsQD
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eVU1GAKmY
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxt5zKMtMua
我喜歡文學。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOzSiGrRyc
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpofEcT6csP
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2nuRTOZ7t
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKu7MXweFOA
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSOxF2Dz25
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPdoTadeoK
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7fxGx6xBd
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDSmyoWCTj
我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEZGZOxZ8X
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRq0emQcgN
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfe0GeeiRBu
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQDxrRXuUK
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1ksbssxnY
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtpusXkvGr
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaGJLYysno
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmOhiXXCBq
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWPLv2eZ5H
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSPztoA3ha
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKuLqLxJbP
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8bNypRzoy
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjIzFcNU6a
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQQQo8EyOr
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7x89Jn10u
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpID0ulqJdU
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvisI7LnUj
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHBpJmdlTf
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv92bnIysWA
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPiQQYpqiK
「嗯，你也是。」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrb6Wdqi86
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TyVYT3wQQ
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatCPDCKLyz
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5E5BhFwq9
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYtpRckCKx
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxc7sp92RuE
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePBu0I2ud1
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfzkrjUjoC
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BycZkLs7T
124Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AjigSNtXt
「嗯？我看看噢。」
Penana
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