I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfHQ3gFOHR
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17l6gjDnb0
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19mNq1NfVc
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdEeoqrRCF
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuh0OCtfvdf
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZUIgLjyyH
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVLMh8z6lm
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgU3n1lIUN1
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPit97LYVJq
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiD0PF103O
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdyM1Ixn5S
His face brightened.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUXVb77EOO
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHPEvojkBl
I nodded once and went back towards my home.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4FCJAzP7Q
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jci74zr2b
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPq8ayssPAD
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHORHgXaIad
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yU9sVQS8r
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxBy4u4cE5
“Hi baby.” said my parents.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgO2Jm70Bxt
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6yraRYads
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb5qeTZ5Zq
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QAYSgFUtS
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43bOt4d1ib
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOa5owAjlPU
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5CpG0nyMx
“I had to ask something.”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig4V6WSs3w
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5X92n706w
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwyd3fwygU
“What?” Mother asked.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcVDp4Cf7R
I realised I mixed up things.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdfTolwj4A
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0dALZekzq
“Sure you can go.” my father said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcMGDeSJKc
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7a9iY0MHx
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBh0s7SUsk
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQvF0U6ozQ
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvcvL5QcH1
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6kp2V5CLP
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHA70R61RR8
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hdVCLhYk6
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpPfPgScuB
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X0YfaqNXZ
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXH3GJyZgH
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXne80B3bgj
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5Czrg45nJ
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4QxfOloG5
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oYt3oVBDb
Oh dear mother of mine!483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIMlZM2gww
483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9HhKRjXT7
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2co1TQeze
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNteM9OF7F
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ264nyMVQ3Y
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJHDqHHp3B
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnBrYKHB7G
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xBlBXOpGF
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMOzl88LtY
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwtdFOXN5T
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6X9MwxebT
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOS0Mw0Dlq
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WgYc6qE84
Strange.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfeB6W79vh
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN3eAXur6g
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82mNuaXp5f
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk12X2XC7T6
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBVFpQA9vY
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwlybYemba
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVdfApgsDe
“Who?” He asked.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4Yb6MUaGa
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nAMmlGrGI
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxT7hJcI9bi
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4Fa7o747K
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Xx0WKDjG1
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucH4Syi9nu
“What?” he asked, concerned.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNfMkSz3lH
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPD3WkKllD
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GShXSM8Ky
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqngDN0kGn
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnRlSuoTIn
“Yes. A younger brother.”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqzsGntWFX
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4pE0zP7Qy
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUw2jPfVUfk
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqQ1uK8HBI
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUO2sBAT4Tv
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yF5nRPe7z
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyz5V32Ux8
“What are you doing?” he asked.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZSNdOKfKh
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59vseK6QsE
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDU4T8DRpm
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCMGzIZdBB
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HXIbmvKq4
Everyone was looking at us.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMrKlaNgfS
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yXUgZ6Ght
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv4wUkOLQu
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiyJyGZJR3
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9fRQSBjv1
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzP0KUIZO1
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMylo7e9nPU
I went near him.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9w4gbyeiDx
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBctoZykyiu
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOp20DUY98P
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaoX2p3O4w
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwmYpkUJv4
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kcpKC9Vld
I asked his real name.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sSciT7IcH
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrW8NeCs4m
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgkbVvzXmY
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPruq9jTvaf
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyP5m8zw6gx
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwf2L5o0Bm
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyNlgQjLZb
“Why me?” I asked him.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcCgJuIVos
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHn4fFkIdeT
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VAHAK08x6
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6tDvCMrLg
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMPYenGlpJ
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHOeVmnYWE
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeSFuxDgQt
Dear Diary,483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Uww5aXJh4
I hope you don’t but,483Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxv1tWNKziU
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
