I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr02vFG90qO
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU42mQx27an
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5GmbcR1KJ
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZnZ1x276h
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtchYg4HJDE
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrEj9mzh9Y
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUMFlIb3Im
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Q3mWtvLKd
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsumM1VlrYT
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSdSjVHKhG
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQcqFfhzop
His face brightened.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWj8yVlmsD
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyg7obOcYxb
I nodded once and went back towards my home.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxATqPc7WA
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXh8IkBudZ
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oLHxorPZy
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxm3r26NTJ
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt97n3gMXQM
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhG2wSaAYt
“Hi baby.” said my parents.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvD6O6kNEhT
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvMLHIHeeR
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvC1yM8swU2
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLoIHcJYC9
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmamNv4SRlz
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUjciBwk8y
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhJCTwXnzD
“I had to ask something.”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlqAggt26u
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4h8TO1hXK
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rlR1EuPgC
“What?” Mother asked.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaD95GBUIg
I realised I mixed up things.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7eQNcJygn
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeocoOHYnKa
“Sure you can go.” my father said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFAOekofBD
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RvUHpYQX4
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfk8jWkYVZb
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7W7l7b8WZ
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZvvP25n6x
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZfhMDW07w
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPAlTP2IRM
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxpe11TGqZ
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIv96F5Een
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwaed3AiQv
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2dHp84k3B
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyMlj1g3Tx
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9BqVbpCQd
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugKTBnKmXd
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVF8ZC9jPz
Oh dear mother of mine!357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOC00dJ974
357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhYaX4CBMV
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEK58PExM4U
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64L6nSH1jp
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJkUs87HGJ
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyylUNzbqC
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAvgCE1haK
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmuM6EN0q6
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCqtg10rW9
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmR1fKb0kD
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFt0GNR6lnG
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoTOKsNPRj
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeBUPc3HH7
Strange.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLD2ByZI4I
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTkW9yUi86
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPVJgk8wZB
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDCnCUU4D2
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3sREf9Oq1
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0IPEkq2rL
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBLeDxdwmP
“Who?” He asked.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzM8IB0NaJf
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uPwVkrFqw
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4Udp0xOpl
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwpr5HxrmP
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23bvG0TlWm
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2X0KMTtR5
“What?” he asked, concerned.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbpmKO7Y1s
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfubOjZZe1f
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSjB41u2LX
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEOr1KBSuu
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JJ7tjR72s
“Yes. A younger brother.”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwFULtq8Aq
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzBmwMKHQ6
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlibPdDqlF4
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMi8mbU0Pr
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡai0VQTaRrH
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HEGvVovYo
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayRnnfY2s3
“What are you doing?” he asked.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3t1tvyZ1i1
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwtjc8NPFP
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3BvL8eBlk
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0JV9Qc6kQ
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvk38rQ1AK
Everyone was looking at us.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6hyVMZecj
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjj7PuTR4e
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZByn8SYe7f
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyHXcplOg2
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLi3zQneyv7
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq69hEIx0Tp
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeV73dCNBO
I went near him.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tJ2mom4Da
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpLH6JCmfc
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrod93KjB7S
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXMpqfOsgg
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGZ3iWbyXN
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5NK5Pggkq
I asked his real name.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DFMcYuYaM
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMCA0tP9dj
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZziKudLuj
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ShwTqu1ti
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGJE5ezDNo
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWQpkQALoi
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pfq78aSJA
“Why me?” I asked him.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSr4cQ5c4gp
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOSALj1Obs
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNpV6fdB8g
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M37RIWIEf
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImxmdFea6T
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGsW940BDI
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbAXk6bOK8
Dear Diary,357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMvhgmVRZR
I hope you don’t but,357Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhooNNIqu69
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
