I think I have been suffering from insomnia since the day I got to know about Phoebus being Bella’s boyfriend. It was indeed a difficult night to spend alone thinking about both the men who have asked me out but still I felt it would be better to go with Amor than to go with Phoebus since I am almost at the end of my way to get over him. That would be good for all of us, me, Bella and Phoebus. If they continue their relationship for a longer time and ever have plans to have a baby, i will definitely be a good aunt who regrets stepping back but anything for Bella. She is the most important person in my life.
I will always choose Bella before any boy, even if it is Phoebus himself.
Amor seems to be a learned dancer which I am definitely not. What if he rejects me after knowing that? How will I tell him?326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraVvOKBYVB
I stood in front of the mirror and made myself understand that he has not asked me to dance with him yet in the language that I know. He should not know that I was that curious about knowing what he said to me last time. I might keep a copy with me and write all the words he says in Spanish, obviously the spellings won't be correct since I never paid attention in the class when they used to teach us Spanish in high school. I realised that if I ever paid attention in that class, I would be communicating to Amor in Spanish only.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpeRvcYXw4
I went to college, seeing Amor standing outside the college, looking again and again at his watch. I think he was waiting for someone. I tried acting like I didn't see him but he stopped me.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIwxaZk9Ha
“You remember you wanted to do something as an apology for your behaviour that other day?”
I wish I could say no but my expression changed as if he could understand that I was lying.
“Yes, sir.” I said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aDgmhNbVE
“No sir. I have told you a lot of times. At least not outside the college.” He said and I nodded.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSgoEkpLC1
“I said something in Spanish and I think you did not understand.”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xjVYwwFbg
I wish I could tell him that I already knew.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lV8GMP7fO
“It means dance with me. So, daphne I don't know why I am feeling weird but let me put it straight. Will you dance with me?” He continued after a pause, “You do not have the pressure of accepting my proposal. I will be waiting. It's just a small family function where I need you to act like my girlfriend and dance with me. Just for a few hours. Think about it.” He left after saying that.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjx9BuANrqm
He left me in deep thought. It's not just a dance but also to act like his girlfriend in front of his family. I really don't know how to dance. What if I made a bad impression on them?326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYpllBZkTD
I really needed time to think. I sorted things a few minutes ago and again it came back to the time when I started thinking about whom to choose.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxq2ukfXSt
All day I kept thinking about it. I do not remember anything that happened in the class or with me after entering college.
I went to Amor.
“I will come with you.” I said. I can do anything.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoP9cmYnzr
His face brightened.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHFC1Ycftv
“Thank you, Daphne. It means a lot to me. The party is this weekend.” He said with a wide smile.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozQ2tbgBCK
I nodded once and went back towards my home.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaghShplNi5
I did accept his proposal but I need to ask for permission from my parents too. What will I tell them?326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkLQZX3ru0
I kept practising the things I needed to tell my parents.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzJfuD92KY
“I need to act like a girlfriend of my professor just for an event.” I murmured.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLQz23cZBR
No, this does not sound good. I need something that will make them accept it instantly. Maybe I can use Phoebus. My mother likes him but what if he comes to my home. I can't even tell him about the dance thing, he might feel bad. I can go to dance with him too someday. It's just an act. I can tell them that I have a party for a successful project in college or a birthday party for one of my friends, Bella doesn’t know.
At dinner time, I cleared my throat before speaking and gulped.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNHP14IIKx
“Hi, my dear family.” I said with a smile.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6tGNJo381
“Hi baby.” said my parents.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEiQbcPZjj
“What do you need?” Arena said. I looked at her with anger.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYhZVnPjKR
“Obviously, you never speak this politely until you need something. Speak out.” She said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWXOAcn1VS
“Arena, why do you think like that? Sometimes it's good to greet family unlike you.” My mother said.
I felt sad for my mother thinking like that, well she was right though.
“It is, I know but I know her too.” Arena said instantly.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcn5sFOF6m
“You think you know me but this time you are wrong so just shut up.” I said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLITgRbgPL
“Why do you all need to fight at the time of dining? Eat your food.” Father said, half mouth filled with food.
He doesn't like to talk while eating.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNgBO5WPq4
I could not directly ask for permission just because of Arena.
As we were about to end our dinner, I tried to ask them.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDG0hanKM1
“I had to ask something.”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHbsas2YL5
“See i knew it. I told you.” Arena popped.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEsGBrvXm6
“Shut up!” I continued, “There is a birthday party for a successful project of one of my friends. ”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ994Uq35JZF
“What?” Mother asked.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoRBWEoEfB
I realised I mixed up things.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3ce6u7uPX
“I mean, I need to go to a birthday party of one of my friends this weekend. I needed your permission.” I said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEszx9caHXR
“Sure you can go.” my father said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrucr8mYz3C
“Is Bella going there too?” Mom asked.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4gqbCSA6K
“No. Actually you know her. She is socially weird so that girl doesn’t like her thus she won't be there and also don't tell her about it. She doesn't know. She might feel bad.” I said in one flow.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNEbCqBrSx
Everyone was satisfied with my reason.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nSFNC3ASS
“What about Phoebus? He is going to be there, right?” Mom asked.
“I..uh- I don’t know about his bonding with her. Maybe or maybe not.” I said in a bit of shock because I was not ready for that question.
He should not be there, obviously he won’t be there, it's a family gathering.
I took all my shimmer dresses out, there was none left in the cupboard. Shimmer dresses made me look highlighted but I do not need to be in the spotlight. It's just an act so I should not wear something like that.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZVqGBin39
My mother entered, seeing all the mess on the bed.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LRJet5uvH
“Can’t find something to wear?” She asked.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB2bV0E0he
“Uh..no. I neither want to wear something that will make people stare at me nor something very dull. It's a small gathering but with high profile people.” I told her, sitting tired on the bed.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxgtQPBAKk
“It’s fine, dear. We have bought enough clothes for you that you haven’t worn in years. Use them. I am not going to throw them out unless you use them and they rot.” she said with her arms crossed.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOI1mCf23HH
I know she was not sarcastic. I do not wear most of my clothes because I do not go to parties like others but i can't fight with her due to this.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HZvDoCQyS
“Yes, mom. I am checking them out. What do you think about this black dress?” I asked, standing in front of the mirror. I loved that dress.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumnfqaldvl
“I would definitely like to sell your black dresses. Don’t you have any other?”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9EOzUEFUj
Yes mom, I do. I do not understand her sometimes, it's irritating.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lYYqcKNsn
I took out my dark blue net gown. This was the most simple and beautiful dress I ever had. The sleeves falling from the shoulder, simply designed with blue threads. I love it!
“You can. You have never worn this. Wear it.” She said and left.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9VW2gYXoa
Who will let her know that the gown was bought by her for the wedding of my uncle a few years back which never took place and then I never got to wear it because we never went to such kind of parties.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oPB0kHm8m
Oh dear mother of mine!326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamiRl86kwu
326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9AsWHQwxl
I was as nervous about the party as I was happy for the weekend. The day had come. I really acted weird that day. My parents were amazed too. They said it was just a birthday party, not my wedding. Who will tell them the truth?
I got ready and planned to meet Amor behind the school. It definitely looked weird that I was walking in a gown that evening. I somehow increased my speed and reached the place he was waiting. For me. No one does.
He was wearing a white suit and the same shade of shirt as my gown, ironic.
“Hermosa!” he said without blinking for a few minutes, looking at me. Again a different language and I guess he has said that before too.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJgmROPN5x
“Huh? I am sorry but, frankly, you need to understand the language you say, I do not understand at all. I am from America and you may be from Spain like you speak Spanish most of the time.” I said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnYPz4cKay
“You want to know what I said?” He asked, bending a little towards me.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXxBnORIRQ
“Yes. I want to.” I said looking at him.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIijIRDZd2
“I said that you look beautiful, a lot. Today.” He said, looking at me, still bending towards me.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBc7cjJaWm
I gawked a while and in a slow voice asked about him saying the same word the day he went to buy formals for me. He nodded. I blinked and stepped back.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZAsfBSxX1
“Do I have to know something about your family too? You can teach me something in Spanish, that might help.” I said, clearing my throat.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WwHfZDCt3
“Well I can teach you Spanish a bit in the remaining minutes but my family knows English well. Let's get in the car first.” he opened the car door for me and I sat. I took a deep breath before he could enter the car.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4wrqN8vqX
He taught me a few basic words in Spanish. I hope I can say them clearly when the time comes. We reached the place. It was huge and amazing, I never thought to visit such a place in my life. He was definitely rich.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyDNQqnCiC
“You didn’t tell me about your family. I should know about your family. They might doubt me if I don't.” I said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Yo81dftHZ
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” He said, getting out of the car.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurhVZscp2B
Strange.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnFKddmsLl
He opened the door for me and held my hand unlike the last time when I refused to take his help getting out of the car.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDufK0kAkI5
“I lost my parents years ago. I went to Spain. I came back when my grandfather died, a few months back. I shifted here and joined the college as a professor.” he said while we entered the huge marvellous hall.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQZDaE4flk
“I am sorry that I mentioned your family.” I said with an apologetic look.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhI57ZRTpw
“It’s totally fine. You should know.” he said with a smile.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHVmvOnNbX
He introduced me to a few of his family members and I greeted them in Spanish but they replied to me in English. I could not believe myself. They looked at me as if they didn’t know the language I spoke, maybe I said it wrong.
I was really enjoying the party. It was an amazing change for once in a while. He stood beside me the whole party.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RnZNk7GAE
One of his aunts came and asked, “Where is he?”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdspBgOyuU
“Who?” He asked.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9H5sDeGz7F
“Your brother, idiot. Did you forget about him?” She said fiercely.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡep1BBT1jco
“Oh, how would I know? You know us very well.”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfG1bZNe8sr
“I don't know what to do about you both. Why are you boring her by standing? Go dance. The floor is yours. Enjoy!” She said rubbing my back.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmUtd12pdf
He stood in front of me and asked me to dance with him in Spanish. This time even if I didn’t know the meaning, I could understand the actions.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadT2V9YXVv
“Amor. I had to tell you something.” I hesitated.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0biX5Wondq
“What?” he asked, concerned.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4W4heB3JU
“I don’t know how to dance. I am sorry for not telling you about it earlier.” I said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhObq5mlO0I
He laughed and grabbed my hand with both of his palms and said, “Just follow me. Everything will be fine.”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxK9GOJcA7
We went to the dance floor. He told me to lose myself as much as possible. He made me feel comfortable and I was dancing like a pro. He was right. Again!326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyVJHGLo6v
“You have a brother?” I asked him while dancing with his hands on my waist and mine on his shoulders.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFOUuGvt17
“Yes. A younger brother.”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd9b3gG9EZ
“That’s nice. He stays with you?”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuObD1RSqC
“Yeah but we are not on good terms. He doesn’t like me and that goes both ways. We are used to it. I do not interfere with his life and he does the same.” He said, looking away.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogN7X75QwN
I nodded slightly and continued to dance.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx020yiBQ5
We were really enjoying the dance until I saw him.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6RD9vZ6Yz
“Phoebus!” I shockingly said, pushing Amor back.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9zlbm27ld
Phoebus was there. Looking at me. He was far but I could see the pain in his eyes. I stepped towards him but Amor stopped me.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw43LfF5d0W
“What are you doing?” he asked.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpHDEUP9NA
“Amor, I saw Phoebus. He’s here.” I said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPUM6u2jmV
“Yes, he is my brother. He has to be here.” He said.
“He’s your brother? Is this a joke?” I frowned.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2soivM8Jn
“You are saying as if it’s a big deal.” He said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQZ7bON3Fy
“Amor, do you understand what you are saying right now? He is your brother and you didn’t tell me about this earlier. Why?” I shouted.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4FVF2bNkz
Everyone was looking at us.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhi904AKXRB
“What are you doing Daphne? Everyone is looking at us.” he said, coming near me.
I pushed him back.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHBf7NC1oi
“I don’t care.” I said and ran from that hall, following Phoebus.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wpRINfjO3
The pain I saw in his eyes was not explainable. He might be sad because I didn’t tell him about me coming with Amor or maybe because I didn’t reply to him about his dance proposal but went with Amor instead. I don’t know but all I know was I had hurt him. I ran in the heels just to find him.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMfHXGqtpe
Sequence of questions kept running in my mind.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYwSRW8amE
How can Phoebus be the brother of Amor? They are related this close yet no one let others know about it, why?326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAz6UIXHdaK
He was sitting, facing down near the footpath, in the dark just like he did in the park the other day. He was hurt about something then too.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwivWXzsbI8
I went near him.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gS7MPNYpK
“Phoebus, I am sorry. I know I have hurt you. I didn't know he was your brother. Sorry.” I hugged him as he started sobbing.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCH3ziEYca
The man who always made me smile in any form was crying because of me that day.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UHb3Jkcdf
“I am sorry.” I cupped his face, wiping his tears.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBije1pUoyF
“Why him?” He asked and I had no answer to that question.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiLmelgqAk
“His name is not even Amor.” He said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYLquKLQdV
I asked his real name.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQOnLnLJN1
He said, “Ares. His name is Ares. He had to run far from home because he was involved in drug peddling. He ran to Spain and years after he found out that I shifted here so even he came back to the country. All I wanted was to start a simple peaceful life but I can’t just because of him Daphne.”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9o68xedqYx
Ares? The boy who made my sister’s life miserable? The man due to whom we had to leave our home?326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76CvssLxXr
“But you said you were from Delaware, right? You are from there then- then how…how?” I held both of his shoulders, showering the questions altogether at him.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswvwbFwbY5
“Yes, we are from Delaware. Our father worked in New Jersey, we lived there. After my parents’ death, I found Ares was involved in drug peddling. I complained about it to the police. He and others involved in it were arrested. I heard Ares ran to Spain after some days. I lived in Delaware with my grandfather until he died a few months back. I wanted to start a new life so I came here but he came back in my life, bringing all the terrors I had in the past. Since then he has wanted to hurt me.” he cried holding me tight.
Phoebus is the brother of someone who has messed up with my sister’s life, my family’s life.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJyjlqRvPY
He continued, “Don’t you understand all he did was just to hurt me. He is using you.”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrZI6CydC9
I was blanked. Whatever he was saying was incomprehensible to me.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eLdIa9el3
“Why me?” I asked him.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIqxUl5rzE
“Because I love you. I love you.” He said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡme2w8iN3E8
Everything stopped for me at that moment. I didn’t know the way to process the thing I have been waiting to hear for months. He loves me?326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZDdgOvgij
“What the hell Phoebus? You are the boyfriend of my best friend. Did you get that? Stop saying such things.” I pushed him back.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQSA01WlQ1
“Daphne, listen to me. I fell in love with you at first sight.” He said.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8Jyc2x1Pm
“Stop it, I said. You are Bella’s boyfriend.” I kept walking back.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukwQCswyv3
He said, "I could have but I found you...you, Daphne" my name from his mouth felt as soft as Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are.
Bunch of personalities inside my head except the one I showed on my face screamed buss! I kept looking at his lips while he kept saying something until I felt warmth on my face. He was close, so so close. One could cross the ocean and travel through the forest through his eyes or could be stuck there forever if they wanted to. And I want to. Fuck! He's driving me crazy. I... I can't do this with Bella.
I pushed him back but my foot twisted and I was about to fall. I felt a force against gravity and I was surrounded with warmth, his arms. He squeezed me into his arms as if he was scared of me getting hurt.
“I can’t promise to never hurt you but I can’t let others hurt you too. I know the reason behind your denial. We’ll get out of this situation. We will. Once you know the truth.” I could feel his hot breath as he whispered into my ear.
Wait. We? Truth? What is the truth?
I looked into his eyes with a question, was he going to ditch on my friend with me? Oh god, no he can’t!
I pushed him back and ran without saying a word.
More than us, us? me and him, I was scared of losing Bella. She is my childhood friend with same ambition and more than our family gathering gossips, I am used to her stupid unstoppable talks.
326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2bIScvZ32
Dear Diary,326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpg7ZMDBF68
I hope you don’t but,326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPvuWdST51
do you feel whatever I am doing is wrong?
