She was the backup friend.

The one they invited if someone couldn’t go.

The quiet one.

The antisocial one.

She was the girl everyone forgot about.

She’s the one who always turns her work in on time.

Never talks over others.

But she’s not just the quiet kid who’s easily forgotten,

The kid the teachers love because she does her work and gets good grades.

The one who’s always on time never talking over them.

The kid who fades into the background until no one realizes that she’s gone.

I’m more than that kid.

I’m a writer.

I’m a sculptor.

I’m a soccer player.

I’m a swimmer.

I’m a track runner.

But nobody notices it.

Nobody notices me.

Nobody realizes that I’m slowly fading into the background.

Already mostly faded.

in crowded streets, i walk silently, unseen.

lost in the bustling crowds,

faces ablur, voices folding over my silence,

like i’m hollow, see through, not there.

just a flick of light in the corner of visions,

a question no one bothers to ask.

the blinding lights surrounding,

casting luminosity on the ground

failing to see what i can’t show,

almost like the knowing sense of estrangement.

in the comforting swarm of my mind.

sometimes my mind wonders,

do i make up every scenario that doesn’t happen?

does my voice still hums with the same electricity that ignites laughter like it used to,

if my blood still flows with the same pace of surrounding dialogues,

if my heart still beats in tune of the sound of music,

if i’m even still here?

or if I’ve slipped into some other place,

unseen by most.

maybe i should press myself into the picture,

carve out proof with my fingerprints

subtle hints of my presence,

so people know i’m a person too

but even that feels vain.

whats the point of leaving marks

if half the time i dont even want to?

overtime i’ve learnt to be at peace,

it’s an unusual comfort-like feeling

in the weightlessness and freedom of being unseen,

just the quiet hum of existence playing in my ears,

barely slipping through the cracks.

in the end,

all ill ever know is being lost is more comforting than being known.

and without choice,

i will forever remain as

an unseen presence.

Caught up in a fabricated world of pretend, you blast off to another dimension hoping to find something, hoping to find meaning of something greater. You may see something new, experience something great like nothing you’ve never experienced before, and maybe meet someone new, but is it enough to satisfy your hunger? You may experience new emotions, new feelings you’ve never thought you would ever have. You may experience thoughts that you never knew you would even think about. What did you expect? What were you hoping to find? Was it everything you could have ever imagined? Did it blow your mind? Was it an unforgettable experience for you? I ask myself these things. Not everyday of course. I ask myself, why am I even here, experiencing these emotions? Why am I here meeting these people again and again? Why do I return only to feel even more lost than ever before in this dimension, this fabricated world of make believe. Everyone has their assignments; everyone has their roles. I could care less what my role is. It seems that along the way, when I found that special someone, I lost all sense of reality. I wanted nothing, yet I wanted everything. What did you expect? When everything in my world became about her, I soon realized that I did not have a role to play. There’s nothing to do. There is no reason to exist in this fabricated world of lullabies. The space and the role that I wish to fill has been occupied for a long time by someone else. Oh, how I envy you. What a lucky guy. But do you really appreciate your role? Do you really want it, like how I want it? You don’t. I know you don’t. You are just there to fill up the space. The space that I realized I needed in my life. It will never happen. What did you expect? Expectations only lead to this one thing, and that’s a simple word called disappointment. Deep down I guess he needs you as much as you need him, whatever role he may play with you that’s only between both of you. I’m blasting off to space again, in my simple rocket ship to look at the stars. Maybe that’s exactly where I belong. Maybe I belong on a far-off distant planet somewhere. Maybe my role is to be alone and experience life in solitude. From far away I can focus on creating the most beautiful things no one has ever seen. And when I return from my long rough journey maybe I’ll see you again. Or maybe not…. What did you expect? Did you expect a happy ending with butterflies and a kiss from someone you love the most? Ha. You’re pathetic. Things outside this fabricated world don’t work that way buddy. Keep dreaming. But remember, those that dream stay asleep and never want to wake up, because reality hurts. Keep your affections locked away because nobody wants it, they don’t care. Time moves on and another dimension is created. No matter what dimension you jump to, just know that no one is waiting for you there. No one wants you. No one needs you. What did you expect?

Barely a handshake,Hardly a name.Yet you played slick,Like we ran the same game.What gave you the right?What a lie you did serve!You barely knew me—But pop goes the nerve.Selfishness laid the ground,Audacity slayed the game.You ignored me likeI wasn't around— insane.You aren’t even worthy of a mention,But look—I wrote a satire for you,So the scores should even the odds.Nonetheless— I'm honest, but you?No roots, no bonds,Still you swerved.So quick to cut—Pop goes the weasel.Polluted the emotion,Corrupted the honesty,Poisoned the relation,Served the foolery.Too much gallantly.I'm disappointed in me—That I thought you were a friend.How could I be so blind?You dumped me like I'm dead.I'm still amazedHow you face me each day.We sit in the same class—Doesn't it scare you? Anyway—Thanks for the lesson.I'll give you a tip:The lesson I've learned—By seeing you,Snakes should wear a drape!

They are not sisters by the threads of birth,

But something deeper gave their bond its worth—

A quiet tether, soft and undefined,

Woven through time by hearts aligned.

From childhood days till adolescence came,

They grew like vines, with love rich and rare.

They've kept a thread no time can fray,

A bond that years won't wash away.

From sharing toys to late-night talks,

Watching Powerpuff Girls, to movie all-nighters long—

Laughing together, their hearts in tune,

They get each other in silence smooth.

One leads with grace, her voice the guide,

With wisdom calm and dreams wide-eyed.

One laughs in light, her spirit free—

A breeze that shakes the tallest tree.

One stands with fire, bold and bright—

A storm that shields with all her might.

Like Blossom’s strength, so firm and clear,

Like Buttercup, who shows no fear,

Like Bubbles, pure in joy and sound—

In them, the sweetest charms are found.

In silly talks and quiet care,

They find their home just being there.

Different hues, one shared delight—

They glow like stars in soft twilight.

Not chance, not choice, but something more—

A kinship felt from soul to core.

In constellations gently spun,

Three hearts that shine as if they are one.

Solubility is a massive trait;

Being miscible is another.

Do they portray the same thing?

Whatsoever.

The solvent is the most generous one—

Gracious and wholesome.

The solute seems a bit stingy,

Wants to part the other.

Varieties are so gracefully produced,

Products as an outcome.

We were supposed to be a substance,

But thy lost their element.

In the sprint of saturation,

One chose to be a mixture.

Mixture itself isn't a feeble thing,

But pollutes the creature.

Yet in the beaker of becoming,

We stir and settle anew.

Not all solutions stay stable,

But some find their truth in brew.

So we dissolve in quiet layers,

Bound by forces unseen.

Not every bond is lasting,

But each one has been clean.

Each year a thread, each step a seam,

And slowly, I became the dream.

If growth had a sound, it would be still—

A quiet "yes," a louder will.

I wore time like layers of skin,

Each year a chapter stitched within.

This poem is a mirror—hold it near,

You'll see my past and yours appear.

Before I had a name, I was a prayer,

A breath suspended in the mercy of air.

Curled in a space where silence was,

A soul waiting for its earthly applause.

I didn’t walk—I floated in grace,

Known only to the One who gave me place.

No thoughts came up, no words—just sacred sleep,

A life, no sound, just secrets to keep.

Then light—too bright.

Then sound—so wide.

I entered life unsure, untired,

A baby soft with spirit new,

Not knowing what I’d grow into.

Hands touched me and called me "mine,"

But I belonged to the greater design.

Each cry was a question I couldn’t speak,

Each smile a language still unique.

Had no worries to be kept behind,

I played all day, slept the whole night.

Felt the emotions—raw and true—

Love and care that each day grew.

Laid on bed, watched lights in awe—

Didn't know I’d get lost in them, how?

Then I learned to crawl, to walk;

Running was something more than talk.

Unaware of what it feels to fall,

But I stood up each time, small but tall.

The injured knee, the bruise, the cut—

The blood used to gush forward.

Clotting was the only healing I knew at that time—

Wonderful, adorable, with some hype.

To learn to speak was something different—

Cooing, babbling, to the alphabet.

Clueless of what did hide in words—

Daggers, knives, guns, or pistols.

Each birthday lit a quiet flame—

A softer me, but not the same.

Did I grow too fast or didn’t pay heed?

How’s the story? Enjoying? Indeed.

Childhood is something I remember—

Toys and school,

Homework and sleep-slumber.

It was a beautiful time,

But I was unmindful back then, in rhyme.

Teenage was a ride—

From cuteness to a cool disguise.

But I was a fusion of both—

Sigma, rizz, Ohio growth.

At first, I was all wonder—eyes wide,

Seeing beauty where no one else tried.

But soon came the questions: Why do we fall?

Why do we hurt, and who do we call?

I didn’t have the answers—not back then—

But I listened to something deep within.

I didn’t know that pain could teach,

Until it stretched what joy could reach.

Years passed like seasons—changing me too,

Turning my edges from red to blue.

I felt things deeply, but couldn’t yet see

That everything I’d been would shape who I’d be.

Adolescence came like an untamed fire;

It burned through the quiet, through desire.

And though I felt lost in the middle of the storm,

I was finding the strength to stand tall and warm.

I began to see pieces of me I’d missed,

Shaped by time, by lessons, by a fist

That reached down to guide me through doubt and fear—

To show me that growth was always near.

But it wasn’t until today that I saw it clear:

The truth I’d been given all these years.

My Lord wrote beauty into my days—

Even in silence, even in maze.

Some call it fate, some call it chance—

But I was written in advance.

I learned that softness isn't weak;

It's strength that's humble when it speaks.

Oh Lord, for all the ungratefulness,

I seek Your mercy and forgiveness.

You were always there by my side—

You loved me even when I stepped aside.

After all this time, I realize:

I was a gift all along—surprise!

A gift for me, that was blessed—

A gift of life I didn’t value, I must confess.

I'm thankful and grateful to You, my Lord,

For everything You blessed me with—

From skies to the shore.

Would've been nothing, but You granted me existence.

It is the moment I found I was never for instance.

There is much more, but the words now do fumble.

From then to now, what I've become—it's a miracle.

My Lord has been very kind to me in fate—

From embryogenesis, 11:59 p.m., till this date.

It isn’t me—what’s happening to me?

The strength I had is depleting quietly.

Why does the heart ache so often?

Can a soul soften without a heartbreak too often?

Little did I know it would all happen here—

Where the purity of my heart went unreputed, unclear.

Maturity makes you head on so quick,

Then why am I still standing on the same old brick?

Sacrifice asks for far more than told,

Maybe it shields my heart from turning cold.

Silence is the sweetness I’m blessed with now,

Peace makes the world a little less fragile—how?

Answers I hold for questions unknown,

Still, I strive hard for the lesser cyclone.

The Gospel of Jesus must be amplified. Every soul ofbelievers is in the world camouflaged. We're engulfed in the illusion. The Wordis not bluff cause God ain't of confusion. Your energy doesn't lie. The enemyain't no cousin of eye.

Be able to endure cause the world is x ray. Fix the cableand see the cross in the Word is the next pay. Don't lose your grind cause thenews is on your mind. You acting like paradise here. They faxing mesmerizedfear. Just observe. Don't trust the earth.

How long you gon act fake. They vow to be strong in thewrong pact of sake. Folk don't care if they can make you perish. They woke todare the brand to service. We ain't talking race. The saints walking in grace.By the holy spirit. They fear it.

Free in any confinement. Got the key to any assignment. 10days in prison cause you won't bow down to satan in vision. Tryna lock me upcause I'm locked in the Word. Tryna rock me up cause I'm rocked up by the Word.

Real life implications. Heal to survive the indications.We're watching a sitcom. The Word is starching sin cause of the income. If orwhen America get hit with a nuke then it's World War 3. It ain't a myth ofcharacter in truth of the more free.

Always claim Jesus. No days will God leave us. I wasn'tsupposed to make it this far. Studied from Muslims, Hindus and Buddhists to bea star. From Judaism got the truest wisdom. I'm talking Biblical. Walkingspiritual. I don't coexist. Ain't no diss.

Stream The Gospel worldwide. The dream of every soul madethe earth cry. Team Jesus now I know the devil want to see me die. Maximize mypotential in salvation. I survived the exponential in revelation. Y'all faking.I don't play with satan.

They say my heart bent but let me vent like Clark Kent. Cupsof salvation but I don't bartend. The world's love been hardened. Dear God letour lives be pardoned. Now I see my star potential. I was lost in the dark withpast due credentials.

Whole heartedly. I'm like gold the sun is guarding me. Keepmy spirit ivory. I seen they fear it like I know Jesus died for we. You don'twant to take the wrong turn. What you on is fake cause ain't no concern. Herose like poetry. Case closed it's loyalty.

Only Jesus name you can't con cause New World Order isillegal. The game foul like LeBron at the free throw. You ain't gon put me inthe lake. Under the sun y'all are fake. In the moonlight it's a goon night.This ain't race. Are you saved by grace.

Life ain't kidding. The truth ain't hidden. In the booth thegame is forbidden. Can't do the bluetooth I ain't quitting. Every pitch I'mhome run hitting. Remember on the bench I was sitting. The Mark of the Beast Iain't getting.

Faithful until the last drop. I'm grateful for the will ofthe past crop. We're in the end times. The world sins like ten times. But Ikeep it a hundred. It's deep cause the sun is my bread. I know they the Feds. Iain't dying for street cred.

Today is for salvation. I pray for every nation. Jesus withno filter. Babylon the masons built her. The spirit of love disturbs the evil.I know they fear it cause of the people. Don't get MK Ultra'd like the Beatles.Watch out for them needles.

It's a brighter day. I'mma a fighter so I pray. Reject thegame right away. God will provide a way. Jesus is not hate speech. My fatecan't be impeached. The choice was made. Y'all making deals to get paid. Cloutfree. What you want to know about me.

Invest in yourself. The best is more health. Every soul hasthe aspect. Don't grow weary I know it's drastic. My heart like gold they wantme in a casket. From the start I was dunking on any basket. In the dark theycloning the plastic.

I know the feeling. I glow with the healing. Biblical eyessee thru the spiritual lies. In the Word I'm soaked. The world swear they woke.Are you tapped in the holy spirit of salvation. The truth ain't cap they fearit in every nation.

I made The Gospel my choice with my eyes closed. The worldgon fade cause the skies froze. Jesus paid the price. That's why it's beautifulwhen you in Christ. Be willing to fight thru the pain. Break the ceiling so thetruth can reign.

I'm in salvation. It's not about the skin for every nation.I know it's hard but I got to stay with God. Your energy speaks volume. Theenemy tryna greet me in a tomb. The Word is for the earth. I shatter thebackboard. It matter now they tryna backdoor.

My heart is truly awakened. Life is real why you faking. Thepath is narrow. The math is sparrow. My soul is love. I glow like a dove. Theworld is demonic. I ain't astonished. To the beast they pay homage. My peace isbiblical knowledge.

We the new martyrs no matter who the hardest. Godhood iswhat the biblical taught us. I mean tapping into life's potential. Behind thescene they lost all credentials. Y'all in the game. I'm in Jesus name. My restis love. I'm blessed by the dove.

The Word I pray cause satan hating on me. Heard they waitingfor me. Spiritual archaeologist. Biblical is what the masons diss. The game islike sweepstakes. In Jesus name they like the Deep State. Energy lets it beknown. Enemy tryna get you cloned.

What Jesus did on the cross. We know the devil already lost.They tried to ruin me. They didn't know God was pruning me. Preparation of theseats and chairs. Separation of the wheat and tares. My style like a wrestler.Now the war on Tesla.

Standing on business. The Word is my witness. God said Hegot my back. That's why I won't turn back. We know Jesus coming back. Can'tmake no deal. Lake of fire my soul is real. Can't participate in the madness.Watch how they administrate the fragments.

Please repent cause the disease of sin won't relent. They6ix the bird cause it's atomic in any chapel. This world is satanic to its corelike an apple. Stand in the holy spirit. The devil can't win so they fear it.Submit to God. Love uplifts your heart.

We all need salvation. Separate the wheat in every nation.Y'all mistake what Christ did on the wire. I don't think y'all want to playwith that lake of fire. The angels put me in the choir. Lions and bengals gotthem shook cause ain't I tired.

Truth is crystal clear. That bluetooth connects the fear.Hidden in plain sight. Driven in the rain night. Where's the transparency. Theworld tryna embarrass me. They see the light of salvation. Pray to make itright in every nation.

I'm inspired by God. The fight is hard. Crisis actors butthis is real. They got a license to practice only love heal. It's sad to seethe world turned to sadducees. What's going on I had to see. You need the holyghost. The only seed is to keep Jesus close.

The love of Jesus is unbreakable. The dove of Jesus isunforsakable. I ain't rocking with y'all. The saints is locking the wall.Worship God in spirit and in truth. Watch the earth shift now they fear itcause the game is bluetooth.

The Lord won't fail. Tryna destroy me in the war with thejail. Jesus really took the nail. You can't give the devil an opportunity. Yougot to live on the level with copper immunity. I ain't joining the game. Thesaints is coining the same.

You need the holy spirit in Jesus Christ to overcome theworld. I been freed and now they fear it cause I know the price of where I'mfrom in the Word. My citizenship is in heaven. I ain't getting the realest sinof chip they can't win in seven.

Please listen to God cause the beast is glitching truthhard. They lease the distance cause most is switching the card. Hope it's aroyal flush. I can cope cause my soul can't be touched. The world is naked. TheWord is sacred. I'm real no fake cred.

Humble as a dove and wise as serpents. Can't crumble my lovethe skies is merging. Bragging rights cause lagging nights. All over theytagging rights. Submit to God and resist the devil. Some get the heart's planand won't 6ix on any level.

The angels keep me company. I'mma lion if the bengals comefor me. Something like Mufasa. Dance with the rhythm like salsa. They said Iwouldn't make it. Now that I'm paid they couldn't fake it. I'm talkingspiritual currency. This is a biblical emergency.

I'm in the Body of Christ. They got the sim in the Audi ofrights. I don't do no Illuminati. I been known I wasn't the body. Heart biggerthan the ocean. From the start y'all were triggered by the devotion. Listenwithin. They kissing the myth of sin.

If you know it all then why you tryna ball when the worldabout to fall. Why didn't you pickup the call. Y'all put God on voicemail.Break the wall of the heart's noise bail. Now folk ain't sure of their faith.Jesus said endure until the end to be saved.

Our Creator who is God loves you. Grinding Ike a skater myheart flying the sky above you. I don't seek no vengeance. The meek glow inrepentance.  Foolishness and nonsense.True kiss I was blessed by her conscience. They throwing up the 6ix folknauseous.

The world is ending and that ain't trending. When you gotthe juice that ain't gon be on the news. Jesus Christ gave me my rights. Whatversion is buried. Katy Perry. Texas is the hot spot. Got a Lexus right out thelot. Easter is for Caesar. NWO teaser.

The Gospel I amplify. My soul ain't camouflaged. Hellmission is being broadcast on television. God told me the prayer. It's odd howthey sold the Mayor. Open up the Bible. Hoping for the title. The war isspiritual not atomic. The Lord is universal karmic.

My jersey is number 144. They tryna curse me with the jumperbut they can't even score. Iso mode like Luka. The advice is gold no mudra.They throwing the 6ix. I'm knowing the Knicks. New World Order is on thearrival. Truth like mortar in survival.

Knowledge, wisdom, understanding. Been to college mind mybusiness talked about UFOS landing. Show love. Glow like a dove. God above. Idon't bluff. Haven't the world had enough. Ain't nothing made up. Holy spiritis why they want me in cuffs.

My heart is lavish no time for savage. Bread and cabbage Iain't famished. Cup of suffering. What's up with the buffering. Listen to Godwhether pleasant or unpleasant. Keep your distance the devil ain't new by myheart just know I'm heaven sent.

Align the vibe of the sign. See thru the game. Free thruJesus name. The war turns on when the door burns on. My energy is like anearthquake. The enemy want my worth on a stake. Like our Savior Christ. Can'twaiver in the nights. New day. I don't play.

I testify that God blessed my eyes. Now I rest in the skies.Heavenly thoughts. Bought that Cadillac from the Seventies out the lot. Been athreat like the atomic. They been had dread cause folk is demonic. What's outerspace. Holy spirit is saving grace.

The Lord God is with you at all times. Spiritual war go hardcause the victory is in your prime. Folk got a target on my head. Pray you wokeonly God I dread. The decision of love is what I envision in the dove. Breakthe television it's all made up.

Put the world on voicemail. Diamonds and pearls ain't noisebail. You got a choice heaven or hell. So many secrets folk won't tell. Noregrets my soul I ain't sell. I stand with Jesus cause lucifer fell. Godfearing my heart will prevail.

I'm on a shifting difference. Time ain't gone we all needliving deliverance. I'm in the Bible. The lime wash the sin it's vital. In myprime I rebuke the idol. So much crime read Luke I glow. The world gon be nukedwith snow. Holy spirit is how I know.

It breaks my heart to see they been snakes from the start.They were with the devil. The Word is a gift on any level. They thought Iwouldn't wake up. They fought to see me lake up. Lamb's Book of Life. Theyshook cause I really survived.

Trust in the Highest Power who is God the Alpha and Omega.Babylon won't blush in the wireless flower of the heart where the lava is likeballing for the Lakers. Had to get traded to the Saints. At times I'm sad butit faded cause I'm dunking in the paint.

We got to holy spirit the world. A lot fear it cause thetruth is love's pearl. I know they hear it I'm in the booth the news isbluetooth. I'm breaking the legacy of what the letters see. I don't sign deals.I won't loan to find wheels. My grind is real.

Heart of a lamb in wisdom of peace so it's heaven or hell.The problem is the system of the beast which is being upheld. DestroyedFrankenstein with Frankincense. This intense like the smell of incense. But Idon't burn it. A blind eye I won't turn it.

To all of those who kept moving forward in the name of hope.I hope you never forget how far you've come, even on the days you still feel lost.

I stare into the light

it is very bright

Though, I do not mind

the pain

I prefer it, rather

the feeling of burning

Enjoyment, no,

but something

I squint my eyes not

the closer I look

I can only feel it more

the burning of the light in my eyes

Nausea.

The bright light consumes me

devours me messily, like a beast

I can feel the light inside of me

The pain is so nice

Bright light, stay.

bright light, stay.

bright light, stay.

Bright light, stay.

Eat me. Chew me.

Swallow.

Indigest.

I shall enter thee

and disappear, explode.

------------------------

originally written on june xvii MMXXV