09.259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7aVfFilx9
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBA1z6O5sO8
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHbgliHTPT
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf32RQdblKr
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcAx2yPmdG
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnhfabdjD2
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIMyLXtyOn
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqWFFzeBJD
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMjlCQtV50
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U71zvFFhU
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmp776w8lqx
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUT8rtyleAE
「怎麼了？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8TLUSpdyw
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dNJZqsElx
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhaA2K1X5X
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYFTcioLQW
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcmSBTc7Qx
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2on1b0ptKR
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNADglQkp4
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwd0O0fr3T
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1nNqKk3Lq
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMLCt2VuxN
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm419ODbnSp
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOytjfjxFX
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMn8ZQt35D
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0n7BQQsrui
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡustC9lx1Is
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhl6ubpp2K
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuHwLaCPg4
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeI9skszgL
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsGB4m0dYS
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaMgqfShXR
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNeML6Gjak
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZAPIUsHp9
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjffDNORkc3
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDvvNl1dF4
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7Kw0Xzlpc
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHWTD3tuwL
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDnS38wml7
「也要。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLoIuW3TSr
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOe53vDs0j
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcuYHwsmne
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvwaJFSzqW
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9thf35Hjxf
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYVCdUnJ8s
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqrAXSicRZ
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmS2bJGITk
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lzfIdJybn
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8Rty1pwZr
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPvNUcJcwD
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnPnlMsQEv
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgLeH1Qf6I
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegIut1hD92
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4z8CsGcT4k
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8kwCokDd9
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzujPEMfEl
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLYXYODoCY
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfR7hrljl9
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyQoMmhF1R
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2NC4NSlF6
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZt9RXtsfC
「愛的本質？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJ8b9O3g4o
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvJkdb7iq3
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mQjncWxpA
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrs38OS1uZX
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RhXQXREJk
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFkBLElzAZ
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1c6eJetHmM
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeV5PJK42D
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD56yZlVZIG
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OM3FZnZVA
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7o5Y17FfS
「新年快樂。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRBdh6xJTM
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMRvIiiHmB
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvnyrWsLLt
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbvRqdRLm5
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiRWiSKNBg
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPUwti5LhQ
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWxYbeSd9Z
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAjAhNetDN
「新年快樂，傑。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8OoSKukRV
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBqqo1DD76
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzPBso2lht
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4NdMl9xcy
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTknILSGyd
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrv0QLmgHv
10.259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7cFoVm1Dy
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxdExHb03v
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwNeWDBTei
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKQsy25u0I
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviLJTmKlue
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvX5NIlQu9
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtfL2wDRds
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU42hnnm9UD
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowhU7IHNz8
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVy5FvNzAG
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFRYniaCpq
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztY4jMcd8Q
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcHO8NsrPq
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxv1jeasPG
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1J6pc9PRhk
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfPTK8kvl6
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumM5u3Fekq
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SDXwiMxyP
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCFXPZsNNg
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXx9UMRoYkD
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMJJJ9yRJZ
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKIbKpornQ
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTongYxV0PW
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKp62cuDH0
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9EIV6EAsj
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVh4Tq0IDW
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5Dt0YME6c
他對我說：不進來嗎？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpbxiGK2J6
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡed1WXRkcz0
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9WY1sjbcZ
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9KFD6W2Il
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2tegVn2Gl
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGoTriBjrp
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOA2nndrkP4
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTQltJlAZk
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUI674xzOg
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEt7Ff8shG
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Lmjtc7HjZ
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMrEAOEmii
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uOO7kYplU
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU1nzkHtzo
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMRz0xA2Rf
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlMPg4rDDQ
我好像從未了解過他。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH57GwiuSdr
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigWriyMTzP
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjt4pCpokY
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvNdH6u8mL
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7GcnU6pk6
「是你嗎？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpkohtwrDC
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwPLyHrpio
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDbyHWSlwb
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6Mi2FRf4J
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhSQXQh7Nb
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuJCgmdMQk
夏油傑笑了一下。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9BNyllwSd
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenpDttU0IN
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMqjY6UPn2
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpRIwYTgZk
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdV3dqvdj8k
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKONXQ1gbyG
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKPhZtN8uA
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7xIjnxVVc
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi45FQgwZqY
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnKE02I2yN
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lqrzBlSn7
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIzwCyitp2
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfCecjozWD
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCKwqMKgsE
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcJ91V3y5L
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZo2LgL90U
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigEDWvAHvX
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3E2xhsWjzE
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8K39Lj8Z5
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQFgLqDQQs
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz90NPSbUW
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTHpGpncBh
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3TkJJGBWc
就這樣吧。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4K6ByDOLk
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QDMBl2Zov
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cCHKgDniG
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Dm2T7acsp
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