09.227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqm8VteP4ie
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課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPcZ5sOH92
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJ18m6NumO
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdyHLVbngK
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EPBsfzSPf
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPwmzyPTpv
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmvXmhtond
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhweSqSrPo
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpu1HpSvbj2
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGsZ4Qu36J
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuzt3zVsJ4
「怎麼了？」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI460NLua2g
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1PA1lyHdz
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYraWJCWVb
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgX7JqqmzZv
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIjs8eOXQ4
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCl2JttdbRH
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFD8Qj16U5
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9I7QNfF1ss
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSa0yBo8TiF
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfbq3Br9RR
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqFSlGyCvg
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZKgNFDrzK
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MgAJcSAKH
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRCfd86HrB
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiFTIhmEs0
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQ9gjhkIaG
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuOQK8qVcH
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKteYhXLgP
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCodjfNuGfC
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKuyoHHJQi
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjg3TVv9jd
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhvPtslHqf
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrZKgKoAvV
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAm8BJHyKTz
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt31ajXe2mL
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCdxljYD54
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkgooNUXpI
「也要。」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyl5o69bNM
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227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqMp4Wyqoz
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaafXONQ431
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqI2wWQVzh
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTTxi6Q4el
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmr1s6V4I7B
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從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTo7qnTNnc
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgk696jvInz
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVE0vUzKAj0
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0i112h27H
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLG2dsDaiwR
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGWlpO0ydG
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWSC8mnJbU
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd186c5D6F5
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFOptOX7ez
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuJrIgEWCy
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YEvMqNNUY
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡby7JCcOX10
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ62Q84v35
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPJsvlOR8F
「愛的本質？」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuJYtcJIVl
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Z44VBR0MT
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIe4s4ZQWV
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMXNvIDjU0
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCVzalLqpb
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNI5brP1yn4
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12qQSqYp6z
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99vifysgw1
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再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGMXpqZSVV
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70QDfrzvhv
「新年快樂。」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDMyKV1jNm
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3yK8iMt50
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItJnQbNRmK
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2Ax7yO2fb
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtd8P0ZEQB
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoCFvVtrDk
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOb1xTo4z1o
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAjkzwQmOr
「新年快樂，傑。」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibwsnAQbNE
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──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXe6r7NgqL
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10.227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmNsfxuxnA
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夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJS3xGbroJ
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY34PWSVubl
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaAWTZ6c0k
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUItk8bERUd
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxM4SZTDi4
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJHbDtr269
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eKDVdtPig
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FzntDENJk
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1DGgRQeNq
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyI2whT7SCd
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tz1E9MOfP
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隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOC4lJRfiy
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWtyv2QYkK
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bqqQpH2x5
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNRvrqbJLr
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvzlI8RAbN
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8AaeIsOyW
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3htgwLmFiA
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGwOj5vQa7
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzFesSSNPw
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvyE9tfkp1
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIiJJEiJEb
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFg2yWM9jW6
他對我說：不進來嗎？227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmOYCOOb5N
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室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2KAm0sSZ7
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlFikey2Il
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9xiAADupi
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBjBMe2f4Q
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡew43AfoKI4
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KT5ku0vDV
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLckPCuQP4C
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpfb34PKBX
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2j10xyYpHZ
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就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXe9j08NHe
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Om30ov3Id
我好像從未了解過他。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlmCFhHh2z
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我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jMhPnbQ84
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「是你嗎？」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3k17BEwaU
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是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1ZDGuZfbE
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyUtEc46GR
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HHDVZYhNK
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2Vlr69aOd
夏油傑笑了一下。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfznjDdWXvk
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99YM39vqqn
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk04NBHU9uN
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bDD3Utxh1
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQbg6PegAY
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCBiIWTnqI
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfqTiJ9izH
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnl1XeNFUd
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNf0eiukka
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehxX3lT4iE
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBAQS4Bbu6
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都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkREAHv2bM
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但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAmY7V6LjC
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攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6jdF08IjN
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76rgz1pAso
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzZoEsw1JS
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLm1oqEsOs
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1M673tJOGb
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就這樣吧。227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVkgMmJ7S9
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227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgyo83SRRe
227Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7lZHAQt7K
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