as you are, not what i want you to be
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RmfFn6PRE
What I love about you isn’t solely based on the perception or impression you give me or the rest of the world.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvprP09TmDp
What I love about you are all the reasons why you don’t believe I can love you or that anyone should love you to the depths that I do.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JWfd3uEWP
Your strengths and grace in what you know and are may make you beautiful, but your weaknesses and insecurities make you perfect for me.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjLuqKPXfm
When I look into your eyes, I see what other men choose not to see. I accept what other men can’t or won’t accept. Choosing to love you will be the easiest thing I’ll ever do, but losing you will be the hardest feat I’d have to overcome.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAE3X4xEyp
I can’t promise in the future, I won’t harm you. I can’t promise that I’ll always be the perfect man.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWNM7ZO4C8
What I can promise is to learn from my mistakes, to have patience with you even when I don’t have patience with myself and to trust you with every fiber of my being. We may live to grow old together, we may not.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dncY2o9Nl
No matter when, no matter what time we have now I’ve come to realize the paradox I find myself in: It will always be enough and it will never be enough; I will always be blessed as I will always be cursed.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUxHjOlmVk
Every day that passes makes me joyful because I’m free of the delusion that someone couldn’t love me, when I’m with you I don’t have to hide who I truly am, who I’ve forgotten I could be.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexghFuQlEN
Every day that passes makes me miserable because I know I have fewer days with you than I’d like. If I could have one wish, it would be to go back in time and relive all the moments we’ve shared.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLHCf8zI2v
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly because none of the great memories would have ever existed without our struggles. The pain has helped us love harder, appreciate the time we have, and give us the patience to love each other in all our forms.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObyIQft0k0
I vow to love you as you are and not stand in the way of who you want to be. I love you, and I vow to love you for the rest of my life, regardless of where this journey takes us.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqntjBmBreP
For you, I would do anything and everything, all you have to do is ask.
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Solo
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZBGvMxuCF
I have never been much of a talker, I’m comfortable with blending in the background and letting the rest have their fun.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx11dm0EFwW
It's hard enough for me to focus and get outside of my head, so being in the present or having a conversation is truly difficult and sometimes feels like an impossible task.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbf8EHh7ieP
Don’t get me wrong, when I speak and join in, it's fulfilling and people tend to be fond of me, but that doesn’t make it any easier to partake in any social environment.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWWWBTdXkD
I thrive in isolation, especially when I get my hands on a project dealing with creativity or using my imagination whether it is to create music, write, digital art, or an invention for random issues that I am ill-equipped to bring to fruition outside of the digital realm and into reality.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzM3U2RmBm
If I’m not in a constant state of flow, I don’t feel any purpose and shortly begin to lose interest in anything at hand that doesn’t seem productive.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuW0CxEqTC
What doesn’t help is that none of my creations have any substance outside of my laptop, it's so much easier to create, save, and then return to it later without committing to more.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9fUQwZv9R
All I am is committed to fantasizing about what I feel would make my life better; falling in love with the random girl who stares at me from across the room, waiting for her to smile at me so I can approach while thinking of a hundred different conversations we could have and the best way for me to make a good impression.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JPzuK2RTB
I think about a life with this person; how our worlds would collide and we’d both be better off for it until finances get in the way, my living situation being back home with my parents, my sobriety which will always mean I’m an addict whether I am sober or not.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuzK0PZzKN
In minutes I think of everything that could go right, and then everything that could go wrong. I’ve always been in love with falling in love.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrADhp7KS8D
It's beautiful because love encompasses everything, there’s pain, sorrow, guilt, vanity, and sacrifice, but on the other hand, there is joy, passion, and companionship, that takes dedication, commitment, communication, and choosing to love and be with someone every day, in all of their forms.
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Honesty
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None of it matters the finances, the weight, my looks, my intelligence, my job, my mental illness, my routine, etc.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHw6FVEv7Ec
It’s just all an excuse because I don’t deserve love.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn529RIbm6
I have vehemently pushed aside good things, good friends, good relationships, especially good women.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeKs9bsTEJ
I don’t want to feel like I deserve it.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ikcNpOxDw
I don’t want to make the time to actually improve, I just want to live doing the minimal, avoiding as much pain as possible.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMmKaomDyF
I don’t have control and I never will. I am sad. I feel lonely, but at this point, this must be what I want.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvY96rVpqQ
In any relationship, I refuse to get close unless the other person can provide me with comfort and ease.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnnEhkQJti
I’m a narcissist, I only feed off of other people like a leech, a parasite, more like a vampire.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkMS2gd5Cx
Being sensitive and conforming all the time has become my nature.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6e4I8Wmz3
Im not only addicted to Alcohol, Nicotine, and Marijuana.…
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObX9ttz2v2
Im addicted to suffering and draining the people who love me most because I’m not even sure I love them the way they love me.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRm5vCJ4gg9
I just don’t try,
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I don’t want to try. Its easier to be everything, but me. Its less complicated.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBxSmP8B2z
I dont want to be scrutinized because I already know how terrible I am as a human being.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIBfjPaNML
I can’t even say I’ve tried hard not be everything I hate. I am extremely intelligent and I limit myself.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ982tdfCPUX
I make unwise choices because when I hate failing.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXZKPlo812
I hate being feeling less. I hate being less, actually I love being less.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlncveMyVA8
Confusion and complexity is the only thing I strive for which is why I never want to work on myself.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakTXFuAQU5
I could read an unquantifiable number of books, do drugs, sleep with anyone, fall in love with anyone and it’ll never be enough.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ78e0G0xg
I will never be enough for myself and that is why I will never be anything more than what I am today or what I was the day before and I’m not okay with that, but I’m scared. I’m deathly afraid of me, I don’t know if I could even handle knowing the person I have become.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWcNb3uIG7
I wish I had the courage to liberate myself instead of always convincing myself to liberate others.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeFrNwgdXH
Fond Of
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzQBuN2y81
What im fond of..
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I am fond of memories, until im not
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRfciQKAmK
I am fond of love, until im not
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfs7PcKuXbo
I am fond of fairytales, until im not
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUAC4OFHBe
I am fond of family, until im not
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFkCdOVXgX
I am fond of life, until im not
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I am fond of giving, until im not
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I am fond of you because this.. I cannot and will not stop
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8lxMQJteq
Paranoia
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09bDEP5gYr
Every day, being aware of your thoughts, but not just the act of thinking.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuX1qCxpGIf
Organizing, Rationalizing, and battling the sequence, the line of insecurities, the paranoia, the way I perceive the world around me.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ940Zp9Cqf7
Its the same assumption, more like accusations every 24 hours:
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87gdySB3BT
Are they laughing at me?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMacTr5N6j
Do they think I’m ugly?
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Do they laugh because I’m ugly?
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They must be looking at me because there is something wrong with me.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uyBHG2NVV
Is there something wrong with me?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUNZAqKR1N
Why do I care? Why do I let myself care?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1Ebkn3QS9
Is she looking at me?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuToEMnIHEP
I wish she would look at me.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfoyZzWNAa
Why isn’t she interested?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvybk0111Q
Do I even want her to be interested?
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Its better if she isn’t.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH68GEXLYZ
Im not in the right head space, financial stability, patience, looks, or the fact I’m not interesting enough.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOkC4Pikyv
Am I enough?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡty1B5EXmMB
Will I ever be enough?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUEKZjSjMM
If I eat this am I going to be fat?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4nxvF3BFE
Am I going to be even more unattractive?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TaMVIeqXL
If I don’t pray, if I don’t show gratitude, if I don’t give mercy to others, how can I expect it from God?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXR3FOGlcN
Does god even want to hear from me?
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I don’t want to pray because Im tired and it feels like a waste of my time.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaMjC3RNcf
When I do speak to God, does he take the time to listen when I have doubts, practically have zero faith?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBx1LKyiOjA
Am I just a loser who lives at home with Mom and Rick? Are they helping me or am I just manipulating them?
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Love Her
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXbBlu20hW
How can I begin to liberate myself from this burden of loops consisting of only what ifs?
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQ0M6l4CN2
Some days I think about you until dawn.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxT6CMGJge
Most days now, I am restless.
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Producing, then digesting mountains of fantasies hoping theirs a side of you that sees what I do.
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Still, we repel and with each passing moment, I bleed.
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I lose all sense of consciousness and am yours.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO7tJ4hlAJ
Am I fool or a hopeless romantic?
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Is there a clear distinction between the two?
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I find myself treading along a silver lining.
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She believes she’s lead by kismet, but how can that be with a leash around its neck?
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This path she walks erodes her.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZFyS0QWQv
It erodes me.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEKBiiInqs
I feel it on her skin when we touch.
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Spiraling
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I am losing my mind all over again and I’m afraid of what can and will happen next.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJeKbkRINW
There is so much that I need, but I think they are just things I want which is a huge difference.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYW9dowZyc1
Its not a bad to want something, but to cling onto it as if it’ll fix everything, or the key to my happiness is where I fall short.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKvx0Plgls
I keep on focusing on the outside, external factor that are the issue, but I don’t attempt to fix the broken pieces inside of me.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfeieUZTZs
I need to be validate in everything I do, or else I’ll never be good enough.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8ajmoWtQn
There is a wickedness inside of me that I feed.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTaehDINNg
I believe in all the negative and rarely the positive.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNqw6p0feW
I am getting much better and more mindful about the decisions and life choices im making, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE46M51w0Oc
Because im not. I’m not okay.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8IZl3Yj4Y
I dont want to with anyone because im scared of being rejected.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeQ2KKxRt2
Im scared of getting close to someone else and not pulling through or giving them too much of me.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRUDvi75qf
I know that if I got to that point and something bad happens like a break up, too many fights, different life plans/future, I’d be utterly devastated.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7LL71qdww
I can barely hold myself together as is.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlvUqsjZH0
I wake up in the morning when I wish I could be dreaming.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AI0myjh2i
I go downstairs and make myself an awesome smoothie with strawberries, bananas, cinnamon sugar almond butter oats and some milk.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGy131iM1T
Its really fucking good.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6U4H6zT2Xj
I watch tv for about an hour or less, take my medicine and then head to the gym.
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I park my car closer to the bank which is further away from Planet Fitness because I like walking the distance.
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I enter the gym, swipe my barcode with my membership and ask for 20 minutes on the Hydromassage.
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After I go stretch for 10 to 15 minutes, lift for another 20 to 30 minutes, then walk for an hour while reading my books.
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I get to read like 30 pages which I really enjoy, but lately its all felt monotonous, I am struggling to do the things that I used to really enjoy.
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I stretch for another 10 to 15 minutes or hit the hydromassage for another 10 minutes.
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This is when I leave and head back home.
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Going back home I look forward to eating, sometimes showering, making myself eggs , drinking some protein powder (double chocolate).
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I sit to watch something on Netflix, Hulu, Prime or YouTube while promoting my music.
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Sometimes Ill make music, sometimes, Ill write a story or create some digital art.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9WGB5JlM4
Lately, I’ve been getting into rom coms and feel good movies to distract myself.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DGi0SorvC
I want to be convinced that something good lies ahead.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1s4swMUzOo
I want to believe that something real and tangible is going to happen.
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