Balance between life and death was their battle now. Since the beginning. He was there, out to get her. The moment she came into this world, he was waiting for her. His final game. Her final trial, this little project, was now her enemy. And time wasn’t even on her side.
She had fallen asleep hours ago, still trying to understand her army of thoughts. Thoughts that if they were spoken the whole world would turn against her. Aaron would win, he would have her, instead of her having him. He would have her dead, but she needed to have him. To have his blood. That’s how it should be. He would be dead, she would live.
Her consciousness was asleep, she knew that. Her eyes were closed, she knew that. But her mind was awake. Fighting between reasoning, and acting upon her own anger. And she knew if the ignorant part won, she was done for. She couldn’t let that happen, not now, not never. This was here and now, not then and there. Here and now is what mattered, if she got past this point everything would be fine. She just needed to wait a bit longer, to get her plan set. To be sure, to have an alibi, to know how exactly she was supposed to murder a man she didn’t even know.
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Peace and understanding..
Alexandra, stick to peace and understanding that’s your only way out of this.
Peace and understanding.
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That small voice in the back of her mind, that small voice. Elijah, he would always be in the back of her mind. Telling her, helping her. Guiding her to where she needed to be. And once she was there, it would all be fixed. She would go to the police, tell them what happened. Tell them the truth. Tell them it was David. No- That’s too risky, he always knows how to get out of things. But then, that means she would end up in jail, for who knows how long. She wouldn’t be able to see the people she loves, all except through a phone, and on the other side of a glass panel. Police behind her. How would her family react if they found out she’s planning on killing the man that wants her dead? They would see her as a monster, the same monster Elijah is supposed to be. The same monster that is innocent, one that only wanted to leave with his girlfriend, to have peace. To get away from the insanity of this town. From all the danger, and all the people here.
She could plan this tomorrow, she didn’t have school tomorrow. It was Saturday afterall. She could talk to Andrew, try to make an alibi. Yes, that could work. The plan was coming together.
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It could work. In less than two weeks she was going to St. Bernard where her killer roamed. She would be with Isabell, and Andrew. As they were out in the woods camping, when she went to get wood, and found a man dead on the ground. She would say she didn’t know who he was, but that she just found him. Unless she got kidnapped, or worse.
Then that would be a different story, she would’ve killed him out of mere defense. To save herself, and what he could’ve done to her. That would be her other explanation. She also had to show Andrew the recording. But how the hell would they sneak inside the school without getting caught? Was she made for this?
Her eyes shot open, sitting up. She looked around her room, no danger. But why had she woken up so violently. Some kind of force waking her up.
“Sorry for waking you up. I had to talk to you about something.” A soft whisper, too soft making a shiver run down Alex’s spine. She turned to look, Alice sat at the edge of her bed. Soft eyes, normal eyes. She blinked, and blinked again.
“I– No you’re fine, just uhm.” She tried forming words, what the hell was she doing. Talking to ghosts is what she’s doing. Ghosts that would haunt her until this was fulfilled. She rubbed her eyes, Alice looked too real. To alive, it was uncanny. Had she crossed the valley? The uncanny valley. No wait, Alice didn’t look deformed, or anything. She looked exactly like all those pictures. Hazel eyes, brown hair, features that were too similar to her mother’s. And a soothing voice.
“Oh, OK. Good, so. The reason I’m here tonight is because I heard your thoughts. And I think that your plan is very bright. But like you said, blaming David is risky. And if you got kidnapped, the story of you murdering him would only be mere defense. But are you sure the police would believe you?” She asked, her palm moving to Alex’s knee. Pure concern in her eyes, and voice. Alex blinked, what the- A damn ghost could hear her thoughts. At least it was a good ghost, nothing else.
“The police don't believe anything that comes from a teenager's mouth. Nothing at all, they think we’re making things up, or just to waste time.And if I tell them it was in my defense, they would still count it as a crime. And I can’t end up in jail, or dead. And if I do, I’ll be done for.” She replied, her voice was shaky. And she thought she was about to cry. But she can’t cry, not yet.
Alice gave a nod, her dead yet living eyes seemed to be someplace far away. As she thought for a second, staring at the wall.
“So does that mean you won’t go to the police? What will you do?” She asked, her eyes slowly drifting back to Alex. She sighed softly, looking at the ground. She didn’t know what to do, and sometimes she was relying on them both to guide her in this. But she can’t rely on them forever, if she wants to really do this, then it has to be her own decision. Not their decision.
“I don’t know what I’ll do, but I know I have you and Elijah at my side, that’s all that matters. That’s what matters right now. We’ll be alright. I’ll be OK.” She said softly, she didn’t know who she was. What she was doing, her eight year old self would never have thought it would come to this.
Eight years ago, and eight years later. She was going to die. But she can’t sit around and worry too much, she has to stay strong.
“OK, OK. If you say so. I have to go now, but Elijah might come round next week. Said he had to make sure of some things before he talked to you. But well, good night. Sweet dreams.” She stood up, disappearing in front of Alex’s eyes. She sighed, and laid back down. Eyes going to its corresponding place on the damn ceiling. Her shitty thoughts are coming back. She cursed under breath, she hated this. All of it. Knowing that she was probably going to lose, yet win at the same time.
A game of survival. Her game of survival, one she had enlisted herself in. And she had the power, and once she seized it. He would be dead. Her eyes closed slowly, drifting off to her safe place. Even though her mind was at war, it was safer than her life in Westmore. Safer than anything else. But not safer than when she was in Andrew’s arms.
Andrew.
He was her cornerstone. Her light in the midst of the darkness. He was her main safe place. She was panicking ever so slightly, but panicking about what exactly, there was nothing to panic about. She was OK, she was going to be OK. That’s what she told Alice’s ghost. That she was going to be alright. At peace, a small thought grew inside her head. What if the ‘ghosts’ she was seeing were figments of Alice, and Elijah. What if everything they have told her about so far was things they told people before they died? What if it was like a warning for what is to come?
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What if..
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Yes, that was it. What if. But wait what if means that it’s a possibility, why not say it was? Yes.
It was what they told people before they died, before Elijah was considered a monster. She sighed softly, running a hand over her face. Her eyes open once again, drifting to that respective place on the ceiling. Darkness nearly made her vision go black. She blinked, the fading light of outside coming back. She stared at the ceiling again, darkness filling her eyes. Like a void, and this time she didn’t blink, her eyes watery, stinging with pain. She wanted to blink but couldn’t. Pain, it stung like hell. A single tear racing down her cheek, she blinked. Lids shut, eyes pressed tightly closed. God, why did that hurt so badly. What was going on with her? She couldn’t sleep, couldn’t help but feel comfort in the darkness even if it stung. Seeing things, hearing things. She was insane, wait now that was absurd. She sat up, looking around her room like she had before. Rubbing her eyes, sniffing slightly. She stood up, slightly unsteady; nearly tripping over her own two feet. She shook her head, blinking. She looked to see if the coast was clear, and went down the stairs. That small voice was telling her to go somewhere she shouldn’t.
David William’s house. What was she thinking? Oh wait she wasn’t, it was Elijah telling her what to do. She walked down St. Louis street, past the school. A few cars on the road, she saw the sign far ahead.
West High Street.
She walked down, towards that same house. House fourteen, where he lived. Where his parents lived, thinking their son was a sweet, innocent angel. Alex kept walking, finally stopping in front of their house. She sighed, and walked to the porch. Should she knock or ring the doorbell?
“C’mon what do I do..” She asked Elijah in the back of her mind.
“Doorbell, got it.” She muttered, and hesitated. A small movement, and she pressed it. The chime filled her ears. She looked down at her shoes, hands in her pockets. The door opened, the familiar messy hair could be seen from the side of the window.
As the door opened, David stood there, looking down at her. His eyes were angry, and annoyed.
“Oh it’s you. If it's for your childish bullshit. I don't want it.” He hissed, he was about to close the door, when Alex stopped it with her hand. She also looked annoyed.
“Look, I know you hate me but-.” She was cut off by his mom, Julianna.
“Sweetheart, who's at the door?” Her smooth voice asked from behind him. Her eyes landed on Alex, and she smiled.
“Oh, it’s you.. Hello, I thought you had disappeared. How are you? Come in come in.. Don’t mind David, he’s just stressed from college. Come in, do you want a glass of water? Why are you here at this time? Oh gosh, you look tired. Come sit.” She said, sitting Alex on a chair near the dining table. David closed the door, and went to sit in a chair across from Alex. Julianna placed the glass of water down, smiling at her. Her eyes darted between them both, and she could sense the tension between her son, and this child.
“Uh, I think I should go to sleep. I have work tomorrow so.” She said softly, before turning and going up stairs. Alex’s eyes went from polite to annoyed. As she looked over at David, she took a sip of her water.
“So why are you here?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Alex placed the glass down. Crossing one leg over the other. Why was she here? That’s a question not even herself could answer.
“I actually don’t know why I’m here. But I feel like I should be here. Talking to you once again, after our very intense first meeting. I came to apologize and ask about something. But first, apologizing. I’m sorry about that night, I didn’t mean to dig into your business, I just– I get concerned when it comes to my friends and–” He cut her off.
“I also have some apologizing, not only did I hate you being so nosy, but I shouldn’t have acted like that towards you, towards Katie. I was just, so desperate that night, I wasn’t thinking. I needed something, and well she was right there. So. Yeah.” He said, Alex blinked. He looked so guilty, so vulnerable right now. Something she thought she would never see.
“I accept your apology, and I hope you accept mine too. Now, I recall that you knew who Elijah was right? And you knew who Alice was too. You went to school with them, and you were a bit close to Elijah which is why you know who Andrew, and Katie are.” She said, as she took another sip out of the glass. He nodded, running a hand through his hair.
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“Yes, uh. I did know who they were, I was classmates with Alice in History class, and I would volunteer in the local adoption center with her. Uhm, I was close to Elijah because we were both in the Journaling club. I heard that they don’t have that anymore. Anyway, yeah every weekend or so, I would head out to volunteer with her, helping the center find homes for the different animals, people would mostly take the dogs.” He laughed, a mixture of bittersweet nostalgia, recalling the days he was a teen. He sniffed, wiping a hand on his forehead.
“And with Elijah, well we would be everywhere, always taking photos, and interviewing people. For the yearbook of course. We would have so much fun, we even made a Senior class video, man. He would’ve loved watching that video, I told him that the editing team was doing a great job and it was gonna be a surprise. But well, he passed. Damn, I just realized. Westmore was a brighter place with Alice, and Elijah in it. After they died it just became such a dark place. I just miss those days, his contagious smile, her funny jokes, how she cared for the animals in the center. How fond he was by just taking pictures for the yearbook. I miss that.” He said, and that’s when she heard it. That small crack, the breaking point. And it broke her, all this time he was just a fragile, vulnerable thing. Listening to him talk about them and how different the view of them was from people's perspective. She would’ve thought David thought of Elijah as the monster everyone else thought. He missed his friend, just like she missed her mentor. Well she considered him as a mentor, when she was little he would advise her, always tell her to do things so she could advance. He still was, that small voice in the back of her head was still him, just now gone, and dead.
A memory.
She looked back up at David, tears down his face. She blinked, her instincts kicking in. She stood up, and went over to him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He looked at her, the pain and sadness he’s been holding in all coming out. Alex pulled him up, she smiled looking up at him, and hugged him, trying to comfort him as much as possible. He froze, but wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her shoulder. His shaky body against hers broke her more, this is how many genuine people were out there, how some people had to hide their true emotions to not seem as an outcast, because someone still cares for you no matter what.
In a world of demons, Alex along with everyone who still cared for both Alice and Elijah were the angels, the light. She held onto David tighter, he sniffed mumbling something under his breath.
“I should’ve done something to save both of them. Hide them from the people who were after them.” He muttered.
“It’s my fault, I should’ve saved them from him. This is all my fault, if only-” He cut himself off, more silent sobs. Alex rubbed a comforting hand across his hand. She knew how it felt, blaming yourself for someone’s death. Just like she blamed herself for what happened to Lucas. After all this time, she still did. Feeling guilty for something she didn’t even do had to be the worst pain anyone has ever felt. And that’s exactly what David was feeling right now, guilty for something he didn’t even do. It’s not his fault.
“It’s not your fault, don’t blame yourself. That’s how I feel about Lucas. But it isn’t your fault. Yes you’re right, no matter what you tried to do. They couldn’t hide from him. The true monster.” Alex pulled away, to look at him. His eyes now puffy, and worn out. He wiped his eyes, she could see he hated being seen like this. Weak and worn. He sighed.
“I have to show you something. I thought I would never show anyone. But, I trust you.” He said just above a whisper. He walked past her, up the stairs to his room. She walked behind him, still processing who he truly was. As they reached his room, they walked inside. It still looked the same from back when they first met. But it looked organized, only a pile of messy clothes in a corner. He went to his closet, pulling out a simple black box. A sticker on the top. She blinked while reading it silently.
‘Memories’
“The three of us, along with some other of our friends made this in September, before everything fell apart. It was gonna be our time capsule. Maybe it’ll give you more people to reach out to.” He said.
Alex sat on the edge of his bed, as he sat beside her. The soft tap of his socks on the floor as he walked over to sit. He placed the box between them; opening it slowly. Pictures, a few small objects, a necklace, and some other things.
She reached in, picking a picture up. The same picture she’s seen everywhere. The same picture of Alice, and Elijah. She smiled, they never got to finish the book of them. The book of Alice, and Elijah. The book of all of them. Only God knew about all the plans they had, Alex knew that. Maybe she sometimes refused to go to church on some Sundays. But she still knew the truth. She reached for another photo, she tilted her head.
“Oh that’s Will, and that’s Sara, oh and right there is Tom, and John. Oh, and Charlie.” He said, his voice dripping in that painful bittersweet nostalgia. She nodded, she recognized their faces from all those times she’s looked over the yearbook she found in Alice’s room. Although now she knew their names. Maybe all of them are now somewhere around the world, making their dreams come true. But it hurt knowing that their lives were once bright, with Alice. With Elijah.
“I recommend talking to Charlie first. She lives here in Westmore, just south of here. Well actually, no she told me she moved close to Lake Michigan, somewhere there. If you want to, we can go right now. Or another time really. Just tell me when you need to, alright?” He said.
She nodded, and kept looking through the pictures, more happy pictures, from that year and the one’s before. She sighed, that same bittersweet feeling now going to her. She tilted her head, a baby shower picture.
“A baby shower?” She asked, holding it up. David smiled, nodding.
“Yeah, that was my baby shower. Uhm, Charlie and I have a kid.” He coughed, looking away. Alex blinked, wow he was full of surprises. She looked back at the picture, they seemed so happy, all of them. Especially Charlie, and David. Well of course they were having a kid.
“Wait- You’re a dad? Damn-” She exhaled, he gave a small nod.
“That’s why I was asking if we could go right now, you know, to see them. I can’t because well I’m busy with college, and she’s also busy with college. But, God.. We did a nice job. Sebastian. Yeah, that’s his name. We were too young, but we loved each other. We still do, just I don’t see her as often. But I’m gonna move in with her as a Christmas surprise, so shush don’t say anything when we go. He’s eight. So, yeah. You’ll love that kid. So are you up to go on a mini road trip to the lake?” He asked, grabbing a pair of jeans from the drawer. She looked up at him, and looked down at herself. Jeans, and a jacket.
“Uhm, OK. I’ll just wait outside while you change.” She said.
Alex stood outside, waiting patiently for David to finish. She looked down at the ground, thinking about what he had told her. How that bittersweet nostalgia filled his eyes, and voice when he recalled those teenage memories. Those pictures, his tears, how happy he was to at least go visit Charlie, and his son. Once he came out, she would go and ask him if she could bring the box with them so she could look through the other pictures. The door opened, he was in jeans, converse, and a simple hoodie.
“Can I bring the box with us?” She asked, he nodded. She walked back inside grabbing the box, and smiled. They walked downstairs, Julianna pacing around. They paused for a second, as she looked up.
“And where do you think you’re going, young man?” She asked, crossing her arms. He scratched the back of his neck, looking a bit nervous.
“Me, and Alex are going to visit Charlie, and Sebastian.” He said. Julianna blinked, a stern look filled her eyes. Alex stood there, holding the box as if afraid it would disappear.
“Oh no you aren’t. I told you that you can not go visit that– that horrible influence at all, not even if it’s to see your own child.” She said harshly, he blinked. Alex stood there, Charlie didn’t seem like a bad influence.
“But, mom. I really want to see them, I miss them. And you told me yourself that no matter what parents do anything to be with their kid. I will do anything to see my kid, and my girlfriend. So I don’t care, I'm grown, and I will go. Come on, Alex, let's go.” He said, dragging her by the arm. She followed willingly, out to his car. They got in, and he started the engine.
“David– You don’t know what you’re doing, those roads are dangerous at night.” Julianna yelled from the door, but he didn’t listen. As they drove to the lake, Alex looked through the pictures asking him, as he would tell her. Telling her how some of them were out the state, some on the other side of the world. She took mental notes, looking out the window. As they passed the sign that said they were now entering St. Bernard she got chills, people in the street doing unimaginable things. People in corners selling drugs, luring people in to do their evil deeds.
They passed by a house that looked awfully familiar, that sense of deja vu filled her. An awful feeling of deja vu. She shook her head, and turned the heat up just a little, since she was freezing even though she had a jacket on. She turned down the music a bit, and kept looking out the window. It was silent, just the sound of the passing wind on the windows, the hum of the engine, and their breathing.
“Ah, shit. I gotta stop for gas really quickly.” David huffed, pulling over to a gas station. She stayed quiet, trying not to make eye contact with any of the people there. She fidgeted with her hands, her leg bouncing up and down. Her thoughts went back to the pictures, she reached for the box she had placed by her feet, and looked through them once more. Smiling slightly at their happy smiles, fun memories they must’ve had. She turned, nearly having a heart attack when a face appeared outside the window. She blinked, it was just David. He opened the door, handing her a bag.
“For the road, here. I don’t know what you like, but I bought some things that might help with the stress, and I also bought slushies. Which one do you want? Blue Raspberry, or Coke?” He asked, holding both cups in hand, she reached for the Blue Rasberry one without thinking twice, he shook his head, and chuckled softly.
“Kids your age really have a sweet tooth don’t they?” He said, closing the door, and walking to the driver's side. She was already drinking it, but she placed it in the cupholder. He started the car once again, driving out the station and back on the road.
As they kept driving, she felt calm enough to fall asleep, they had come to a stop a while ago. He had taken off his hoodie and placed it on her as extra warmth, he took care of her as his own sister, or daughter. She slept peacefully the whole ride.
“We’re here..” David whispered to her.
She opened her eyes, looking around. A small little house in the distance. They were here.
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