《赤足的庭院》（2）122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtlsSIpUg4
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我對故鄉的印象僅僅是印象。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHL5qFtyKEV
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因為那裡的事物並不是被人實務性的記憶下來，而是作為更不完全的東西，留在心底的某些角落。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7XjkKba1I
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf21OlQPpAZ
我記得潮水的味道和海浪等聲音，沙子的觸感，樹梢下刮起的微風，夜晚時絕對黑暗的地面，和成為那個時間裡唯一存在事物的星和月。魚腥味、油輪的廢氣、風雨來的時候，所感到的恐懼。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ832bn4kSzV
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoc4vSiDVEN
我的故鄉作為一個印象，我記錄在腦中，知道自己總有一天會以某個型式的遠離它。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGHHe6KKSh
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但那不是指現在。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtiZYLIYkJ
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就算獨自一人逃到台北，看過了城市鮮豔的夜色，耳裡塞滿城市的吐和吸，我還是知道，自己並沒有真正的遠離故鄉。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnTpYZLz6N
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「嗯⋯⋯可以問你的名字嗎？」小舫姐說她昨晚沒能睡著。在平常的那張餐桌上，她癱軟的用雙手撐著臉。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdqSKnbtjj
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSqHpQDtNs
我一邊解釋著自己的事，一邊看著她疲累的試著聽進我所說的。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vkFfqAUim
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2b1xoF5ND
看她渴望睡眠的樣子，我感到有些內疚。她睡不好大概就是因為我。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OCR8thdlN
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCH7mWXaPM
昨晚，小舫姐讓我暫時待在她家借住一晚。公寓的房間很小，只有一張床鋪。我原本堅持要睡地板，不過被她拒絕了：「落到這副德性的人少跟我客氣。」。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1rmgwtWQ6
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDOSmXKDLA
多了一個人在床上，一定很不習慣。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoX1St7SGD
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxqhZPHb6e
但是昨晚，還好我實在是筋疲力盡，不然大概會整夜無法入睡。年紀的問題。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGGgaFUd4k
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「李靜。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpq4oAAnQhS
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXKm3cyvDD
「噢，好娘。李靖或是李欽不是更適合男孩子嗎？」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrtqxok1fA
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「⋯⋯」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TRllUt3uQ
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「不過還好。要是是李靖或是李欽的話，昨天晚上我大概就危險嘍。」我說。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeNznorKzu
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFS5HCY2He0
「哈⋯⋯」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTJNGSkuEe
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當然，昨晚的我本來就沒有對他抱著任何期待。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMPuXUmIDL
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvq4TjbfsA
只是回想起來，那確實是很荒謬的決定。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8gpuF1Ybf
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1dY2Lw6zO
「一個23歲的女人，讓16的陌生少年上了自己的床鋪。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNQcD6P3ms
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWp6Sd2WpUm
寫成文字或是作為台詞被唸出來，大概都不會影響它的離譜。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XrgR6OLXd
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4vkiIgYAF
「那麼，李靜。你打算就這麼住下來嗎？」她問，十分嚴肅的。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF47UJJxTP
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我搖搖頭。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLNOpRGgwl
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「靠著你偷出來的錢，青年旅館還能住多久呢？要是在那之前，你依然不想回到自己的故鄉，你打算怎麼辦？」還不想，的話。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldEzC2diB7
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9SBzmnC0W
面前的少年低著頭，一語不發。我大概知道他在思考著什麼。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BMGpjCql8
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0lXonjpoz
「我遲早會遠離我的故鄉⋯⋯」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpB6TOuzcXw
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「但不是由這個方式。對吧？」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouPxu85XDM
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「是的，所以⋯⋯」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUbfbcPNpY
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「怎麼辦呢？」這次不是為了捉弄人，她露出溫柔的微笑。「在錢花完之前，你得思考噢。來到這個混亂的場所，你能得到什麼？或是追求什麼。」她說。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9VGAAvpvP
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHVfMbrkqr
「小舫姐，妳常常離家嗎？」他突然一臉佩服的看著我。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxoXcDtanc
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CvsN3LjOt
「這是什麼蠢問題？」啊，說錯話了。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fkfBb861n
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVj0XR4aFiO
「嗯⋯⋯不是，總感覺妳很熟練的樣子。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjDQS9g6X0
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtW7czQMuX6
「怎麼可能。」她說。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DY8zCM8ph
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1YP3AdGLl
然而這是事實。16歲之前，我離家過無數次，每次都是無功而返，只帶回挫折跟疲勞的身體。然後，到了他的這個年紀，我幾乎像是投降了一樣。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXYKbrw5ox
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoO5wz2KRlk
好好的準備了考試，盡了全力去考大學。畢業之後也找到了穩定的工作。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsNRxMHGvJ
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunfkH23DBa
這7年來的生活十分穩定。而且那是不容置疑的正確。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvGR8dhiZj
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直到他出現的那天。我再次質疑起自己作的決定。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0JvJ6ttbt
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sOsuZgQTt
長時間離開過我的這份自我懷疑又找上門來，然而我絲毫不比之前的自己成熟或是冷靜。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDwE2JENwX
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但是看著他，我總有一種感覺。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMagdpIWow4
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「大概沒問題的。我想⋯⋯。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbsXDIpEWT
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沒有理由的，我這麼相信著。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfiLK9etUK
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVnsc46fYi
因為，注視著她時，海嘯和風的呼嘯聲就會從腦袋中消失。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbhCT2cXn8
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「阿靜，你是獨生子嗎？」最近每到中午，她都會走到我身邊，把我從樓下的那個陰暗的角落，帶到樓上的用餐區。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9uqZijwGA
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「是啊。」我吃著員工餐，回應的問題。到台北之後，這是我第一次吃到泡麵以外的熱食。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2vAnMR4AZ
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWMlMMX7sC
「好吃嗎？」她用頭指了指我的盤子。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0PxKTYPiB
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「嗯，非常美味。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4pszIeVuW
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo4CO4dKyD
「那就好。」她又塞了一口飯到口中。「你看這個。」她拿出手機。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8DqVSioMx
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RKtTBC3rP
滑開桌面，她打開某個定期回報全球衛星雲圖的程式。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUQQp4686E
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtppWNTcgJ
不知道為什麽，程式剛打開所指定的地方是新幾內亞，但是她好像不太在意。說實在話，我也不太在意，我滿腦子在想桌面照片是哪個作家的書。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQoWKmDfWz
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然後她讓我看了台灣附近。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBc8q6Fo0R
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「一次來兩個颱風噢，很要命對吧？」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzYTNpn5kC
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「嗯⋯⋯。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtNCwjoaW4
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「可是啊，你看這個。預測路線說，它們會剛剛好⋯⋯像這樣，一個往上、一個往下，躲開台灣噢。」她用手指畫出線條，語氣雀躍的說。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MjvpbR6sk
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjj9z2UZWT7
「真的是這樣就太好了。」他皺著眉頭說。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZKgUZPsEc
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPds9tXZmh
肯定沒事的。看到她笑著這麼說，我的心不知為什麼就這麼安心下來了。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyq80QIIEk0
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKTDgfQXz4
我從二樓的圍欄往一樓看，看到不少人離開座位，或是把書本丟在一旁，往樓上來。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3h9XUAe4Z
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBK2WwMryU8
離席的人一個個往同一個方向去，每個人離開前的習慣和走路的姿勢、服裝的外型，從腳的移動到眼神，每個人都有所不同，卻做著一樣的事。我很喜歡這幅光景。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9BYpUf6qt
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4kbgOA93q
「阿靜，獨生子是什麼樣的感覺啊？」我的注意回到她身上。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqojyMgmiRr
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8m7IWGTfHn
「什麼？」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rxlmrvPmv
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她又問了一次。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0g9kduzmp
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「啊⋯⋯獨生子啊，不知道，小舫姐不是獨生女嗎？感覺很像啊。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpK0D58M1V
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWYf5vC60X
「什麼意思？」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfjJGJV1Hd
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「對那種需要一個人鑽研的事物比較感興趣。」孤僻的怪人。我從來沒看見她和其他圖書館員熱絡的交談過，說不定，她在這唯一的朋友就是我了。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3fS3WHouP
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuHW1Nnc3I
「噢，這樣啊⋯⋯還有呢？」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjExFm5MIMF
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAu7WKqtx5
「感覺很有自己的想法。」不顧別人的感受。從來不看場合的捉弄人，不管話題或是氣氛，只要她覺得好玩就好。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbruu1dStnu
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOZijSaTky
「這樣啊，可是我不是噢。」她笑著說。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0dNQ5DCNX
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「是嗎？」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbmTduoIt2
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「嗯，我有一個弟弟⋯⋯長得跟你很像噢。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2NPiIudTy
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJnDh6GdQS
她這麽的同時，皺起眉頭，仔細的觀察的我的五官。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHheNWn0YT4
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果然很像。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvGI2uR5Tc
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午餐時間結束，他作為暫時的圖書館員，整理書架時的那副神情，和弟弟替我收拾行李時的表情一模一樣。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAVmV0sRLw
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那是我第四次的離家出走。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQl91GAtSy
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2pHDqjYwS
準備離開家門前，剛升國中的弟弟，突然擅自打開我的行李箱。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVAmVpmxhd
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAruh0cKEO
我害怕會錯過父母不在家的時間，對他斥責了幾句。但是他很冷靜，說要替我檢查。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cmVx8Bd1w
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWV3lYteuK
「少了牙膏和食物⋯⋯啊，火車上要看的書呢？姊，妳沒有書活得下去啊？」這時的我，為了大學的志願在鬧家庭革命。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3SGVLHopp
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gGgC3lS3w
我喜歡文學。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xT7zq1VB7
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXzyKIaR06
那個時候，驅動我一切不成熟和自私的動力，都來自這麼一個模糊而膚淺的理由。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAN3PwhmH6
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PY5QY15dQ
因為這個尚未成形的夢想⋯⋯那個時候，更適合的詞可能是妄想。因為它，我把自己的容身之處給否定了。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48mPKEWeJH
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzAg33agzA
「 我無法待在那個否定我一切的地方。」我那個時候是這麼告訴弟弟的。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKgujyjFfX
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我看著他替我收拾書本和盥洗用具後，他堅持要送我到車站。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxgUjgqr4T
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxYuRws6lo
於是我在車站冷冰冰的塑膠椅上，用極為平淡的語氣對還是國中生的他說。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1SgBhYmI2
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrkGrgkjVu
「嗯⋯⋯從妳的角度來看，待在家裡確實是很痛苦吧。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhPeKgOhZN
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwElUdFWEvT
我沒有說話，於是他繼續說。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkztjGQgGD
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHtPbrVRLe
「我希望妳能快樂。當然，我也希望爸爸媽媽快樂⋯⋯嗯⋯⋯怎麼辦呢？」他笑著對我說。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5D14XPVNH
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9TfvN6MyA
那時的我沒有意識到，他的笑之後有著多麼巨大的重量。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Yc9WYaj89
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8eCHJqq4B
也許因為我，他時時刻刻對自己的存在感到矛盾。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NnECYplU9
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dhzdvxdyb
但我被自己的夢想遮住了耳，沒能聽出他的求救。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXH1svGPZT
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdwZG7RsuF
「謝嘍。」搔搔他的頭，我抱住他瘦小的身軀。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZddT4piX6t
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡel5eMnFOm1
「姊⋯⋯早點回來噢。不要餓到肚子。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ546H9mshtT
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcJ6H62eAu
「嗯，你也是。」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2jj2mYMUV
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uKrHFIgHt
我記得，那個冬天，台北第一次下了雪。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkYhvyfhoh
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPaJ9rVf49
雖然是很少、很細的冰線，但那確實，是貨真價實的雪。122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYSPQHaBMV
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ709wceac2Q
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOS1tdAfPu
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZw8yLBspDe
「小舫姐⋯⋯這個算是小說學術類還是偉人自傳啊？」122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeF4A4WXLO
122Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NsAuGDuSi
「嗯？我看看噢。」
Penana
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