After an uncomfortable ending to our conversation I had decided Janus and I needed a moment alone to talk. Granted it wasn't the best set up for either of us to talk being that the room was still within Ares's.
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"What's troubling you?" Janus finally asked once the doors shut and he shifted his tail around himself.
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"Bold of you to assume something is troubling me. Maybe I just want your opinion on something." I shrugged as I started pacing in the chilled room.
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This room was significantly colder. There was actual ice and frost in the room how he was comfortable was beyond me. I suppose however being as hot as he could get it was somewhat soothing at times.
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"Well you wanted to be alone, so I have to assume something is going on no?" his question purred.
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There were many things pondering as of late. There was the realization that not everything was being told to me about Janus- rather Ben and Jason's last chat. . . Something that hadn't first stood out to me. It was clear they had been talking to each other about some issue. Yet another issue I didn't know about. . .
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"What do you think about Ares's idea?" I lifted my chin to look up at him.
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His forked tongue slowly flicked out for a moment as he thought.
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"I think he's right. Time is very unknown right now. . . especially since this wouldn't be the first war- I'm curious to know why you want my opinion though?" his eyes squinted at me with curiosity.
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"Perhaps at times- or maybe just for now you can see things differently than I, and as you know these are very questionable times, and I have much to deal with."
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"Like bringing Jason back?" his large mouth appeared to be grinning now, but his eyes seem to darken into a more orange than gold.
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"You don't like my idea?" I frowned pausing.
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"I know we aren't exactly the best being to get along but-"
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"I just think there are many things that we are unsure of."
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He simply responded as he cut me off.
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I grinned inside because I knew very well it'd be easy to pull him into a trick of telling me more information.
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"Yes, but they're all things on Ares's side right?"
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His nostrils flared as he took a slow breath.
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"Jason came to us before that day. He- like you was also suffering effects from my blood. Why he didn't tell you I couldn't tell you, I will admit I found that most peculiar. . . however if he was unstable and not himself- do we know that he will return the same?"
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I gritted my teeth. I hated that I was finding out he was hiding a lot more than I ever thought he would possibly even try to. Perhaps understandably but without him being here his motives were unclear. . . As much as I loved him something was wrong.
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"I should be able to bring him back with no issues. . . it is important for me to learn everything that I can though"
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He nodded.
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"We both know the obvious risks now then. . . back to Ares however. I know he wouldn't put you in any danger directly. The war may cause issues, but from what I've heard you have never been worth killing right? That's never what his side wanted. . . His is used very loosely of course"
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"No of course not, they wanted me to be alive- even though clearly I cannot die, they wanted me to be alive so I could be forced by his side."
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His claws tapped at the frosted ground.
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"I do believe if he were to admit you are holding him hostage and torturing him they would most likely rather you be dead. Or treated just as horribly. I know and you know, that is the farthest thing he would want, but that's what they would assume- furthermore he cannot explain to them why- really any of it."
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He was right. In reality Ares and I were both in a bad spot.
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"How can we change things?"
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I changed the subject.
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"You know, as well as I do we cannot completely. . . the blood spilled from the start of this all runs deep. Ares would kill for you, we know that. . . he would slaughter anyone in the way of your happiness now. Believe me he's muttered that he'd kill himself for you."
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My eyes widened at his words. The thought of Ares giving up to such a degree was very disturbing and unsettling. Had he really felt that much regret? He had always seemed so sure of his actions. Perhaps he didn't like being wrong. I shook my head letting out a sigh.
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"I can assure you that I can handle him if he tries to leave if we do go with his plan though."
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He bowed his head down. Part of me wanted to believe him, but no matter how big Janus was- was he strong enough against Ares? He could easily slow him down. . . that much was sure. I had to discuss this with Rickey. Perhaps the others, but for now it needed to be Rickey.
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"Do you need anything when I return upstairs?"
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I asked as I turned around heading for the door.
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"I should be fine for now."
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He responded coolly.
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As the door opened there was huff from him behind me.
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"Was it everything you wanted it to be?" he asked his voice low and I stopped to look at him.
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"What is that supposed to mean?"
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"Ares being under your finger. . . him finally paying for everything he has done to you and your family, was it all worth it too?"
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I swallowed a lump in my throat as I started walking out without responding.
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Inside however I was screaming no. None of it was how I imagined.
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☾☾☾
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"How does going to the club tonight sound? Little destress while we talk about other pressing matters?" Rickey asked as he wrapped an arm around me kissing my cheek.
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On the few moments we had a breather it had been our new habit to go out. Sometimes with Jarred and or Seth sometimes just solo. Often other times I'd find Rickey in his room smoking weed or doing some sort of substance when he knew we were done for the day. A habit I was uncomfortable to approach as perhaps not being healthy especially when at times I'd had given in to his side of the bond and partook in it. Our lives had definitely both changed at a rapid pace, for better or worse.
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"Alone?" I trailed my fingertips up his chest as I looked up at him and he smiled.
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"If you want. I mean with the exception of the guards of course."
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"I'd like the company tonight. . . I need out of the house though- away from him." I responded quietly.
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His lips pressed in a line.
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"Sure, I'll gather the guys- Erin was asking for you by the way. She's in the kitchen."
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I nodded reaching up to kiss his cheek before we made our separate ways.
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As I entered the kitchen Erin was pouring herself a cup of some sort of citrus tea and she smiled at me.
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"There you are, busy day?" she asked as she waved me over.
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"You could say that."
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I took a seat at the island as she sat down and let out a sigh.
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"I hate to. . . be so nosey but you know how much I hate secrets- especially in times like these."
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Her eyes met mine as she took a sip of her drink. I wanted to bite down on my lip in irritancy, but I knew that would only give me away. I was hiding things from her, but I didn't have much of a choice. . .
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"Fine, if you won't admit it I'll ask- why do you smell like him?"
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The question seemed pushy, but her voice stayed calm as she placed her mug down.
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I tried to play it cool by giving her a confused look.
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"Don't try to lie to me. I taught you better manners."
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She shot me a glare now. God why did she need to know? It was so much safer for her not to. The less people the better. . .
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"If your new way of coping is by doing drugs or drinking- going out and partying fine. You're beyond an adult now and that's your business as long as you're safe. I can't imagine what you're going through and I don't dare to, but there is a war starting because you're hiding things- I don't care what you hide from the public, you know that you always come first to me but I can't play dumb forever."
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Her voice suddenly turned much more motherly and strict as she grabbed the mug again.
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"How long have you known. . ." I sighed burying my face in my hands.
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Most of the time we all showered his stupid scent off. We tried masking it with tons of colognes, perfumes everything. It was a Hell of a risk for all of us to be down there with him- let alone torturing him till he bled making the scent only worse.
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"The question you really should be asking is- if I know has anyone else- more importantly has anyone on the council?"
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I rubbed my face and uncovered it to look at her.
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"I can't believe you would hide such a thing from me. I made Jason a promise, you know how important that is to me and-"
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"I didn't want to hide it from you. . . I'm sorry I am, but really all of this is a mess" I cut her off trying to get her to understand before she got too upset.
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Sure, I was Queen and I could use that to justify anything I wanted- and in reality me being a Goddess above it all certainly did. Erin was different though- family, was different. Maybe I picked up on some mortal/ immortal things while I was down here and that wasn't a bad thing perhaps.
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"I thought I was crazy at first- or that it was just stronger than I remembered so it lingered. . . then I noticed it would drift into different areas-"
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My eyes squinted at her and I opened my mouth slightly as I tensed.
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"Wait. . . how do you remember what he smelled like? Did he visit you once he left?"
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She quickly shook her head.
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"No, thank goodness too- how could I forget? The few times I interacted with him it flooded my senses and I never wanted to be mistaken back then if I thought he was around."
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I almost let out another sigh as I relaxed. For a moment I thought perhaps she had ill intentions, but it made sense now. . . She really did always care for me like no one else did. Including my own mother if I were to be honest.
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"Have you said anything to anyone? Does anyone else know?" I quickly asked.
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"Does anyone else know what?" Jarred's voice entered the room and Erin was looking over my shoulder and I looked back to see Jarred, Jeff and Rickey walking towards the kitchen together.
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"Nothing."
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I shook my head.
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"That I know at least the three of you have been keeping secrets from me."
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Erin answered for me instead and Jeff looked at his brother and then Jarred confused.
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"Oh not you sweetheart."
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She calmly added.
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"I don't know what you're implying but I assure you-"
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Rickey started, but Erin quickly scolded him before cutting him off.
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"She has already admitted that Lord Zadicus is not missing."
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His brows furrowed and I could feel the tension radiating off of him now as he stepped closer and I watched Jarred's eyes snap to look at him and push Jeff back a bit.
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"I don't know what you think you, but-"
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"Rickey she is not a threat."
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Jarred snapped his jaw clenching and Rickey looked back at him.
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"Did you forget who's the one with the control?"
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Jarred walked up to him towering him easily with his height and shot him a look.
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"Don't start this."
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"Jarred! Rickey!" Jeff yelled at them, but he didn't move.
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"Babe?" I asked sweetly and Rickey peeked over his shoulder to look at me.
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"He's right. . . it's okay. . ." I said softer now.
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"I didn't mean to make you feel threatened- though I am very thankful that you are so protective, especially at times like these."
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Erin apologized and Rickey turned around nodding before walking to me and wrapping an arm around me.
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"Sorry. . . as you can imagine things have been very tense."
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Erin nodded.
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"Believe me I understand, that's why I want to help."
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☾☾☾
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After explaining to everyone how she thought something was wrong and why I had to tell her everyone finally relaxed. Even to my surprise Alexander once he finally joined us and got caught up. She explained why perhaps maybe everyone else had ignored the smell, or perhaps maybe they were in their own denial. I had mentioned Ares's plan to her and she thought perhaps it was good, but it was quite a gamble. . . We were in a big enough one as it was.
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"Well, you all have fun tonight. I'll be in my room if you need anything."
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She grabbed her fresh cup of tea and her kettle and headed for the door.
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"You want help taking that upstairs?" Seth grinned down at Erin as he stepped inside the kitchen and she scoffed shaking her head.
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"Oh and Jarred dear?" she turned around slightly to look at Jarred and he raised his head.
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"Keep this one on a tight leash."
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She pointed at Seth and his eyes lit up.
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"Only if you're at the end of it sweetheart." he purred as she walked passed him.
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"Seth!" I yelled at him.
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He raised a brow at me.
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"What? Jealous suddenly?"
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He smirked.
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"She's like my mother!"
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He shrugged.
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"I mean I've had my fair share in-"
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"Alright, time for us to go to the club now jackass" Jarred suddenly flashed beside Seth leading him back at the door and I shook my head.
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"I really need to find less sex driven people to be around" Jeff mumbled as he got up to follow them and I laughed getting up.
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"You and I both."
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"Hey!" Rickey hit my arm playfully.
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I gave him an apologetic smile.
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"I love you though"
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"Mmm and I you."
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He smiled down at me as he took my hand.
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☾☾☾
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"You know. . . I never thought you'd meet Seth, let alone all of us be together at one of my clubs doing a bunch of- well you doing drugs period."
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Jarred admitted as he shook his head as he passed the joint to Jeff.
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"Little sister or not I am an adult" I scoffed leaning into Rickey as he took a sip of his whiskey.
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Rickey's hand rubbed my arm softly and Seth and Jeff looked at each other like they were debating joining the conversation or not. Jeff coughed passing Seth the joint which answered the question enough for the two of them.
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"I know, I know I'm just- well you know it's an adjustment."
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Jarred shrugged.
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I tilted my head to the side as I watched him for a moment.
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"You know. . . looking back at the few times I stopped by your one spot. . . I probably should have figured it out- you know the warehouse and all. Especially the last one I was at."
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I felt Rickey shift a little beneath me as he placed his glass down.
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"Warehouse? The one by my place?" Rickey questioned.
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"Yup . . . that'd be the one. Stopped there after you decided to cheat on her."
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Jarred simply responded, but his glare said it all.
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Seth, meanwhile spat out some of whatever he was drinking letting out a small chuckle looking over to Rickey.
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"Holy shit, I forgot you did that shit." He admitted.
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I winced at the thought of that day and I felt myself tense. Rickey's hand gently gave me squeeze.
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"Hilarious Seth." Rickey said sarcastically.
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"Stop that" Jeff glared at Seth disapprovingly.
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Seth snorted in response.
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"I know, you aren't defending his ass"
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"Seth can you even be one to talk?" Joshua commented.
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Seth's jaw tightened in a line before he gave a small smile.
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"I suppose you're right."
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Rickey cleared his throat.
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"I guess I'm just surprised you were in his space enough, but somehow still managed to be kept in the shadows about everything."
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"Lots, and lots of rules whenever she'd step foot in the area" Jarred admitted.
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"That's an understatement. . ." Seth huffed.
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I turned my gaze to him and raised my brow. I let out a small breath shaking my head as I shifted my control to push Seth down onto his knees.
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The room suddenly erupted in laughter and Rickey stroked the back of my hand soothingly.
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"What's the matter Seth? Forget your manners somewhere tonight?" Jarred chuckled reaching down giving him a shove on the shoulders.
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Seth let out a low growl shoving off his hand and I grinned as he got back up onto the booth meeting my eyes for a moment.
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"Taci. . . " he grumbled.
(Shut up)
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"So what are we doing about Erin? Obviously she's not a threat but. . . should we consider what she told you?" Jarred changed the subject looking at me as I relaxed back into my spot.
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I shrugged.
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"We have more pressing issues to deal with- at least tonight." Alexander interuptted.
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Everyone's gaze shifted over to him now.
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"I know things as big of this would normally be council votes, but Luna it's down to us."
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His eyes met mine and they suddenly filled with something I rarely saw in his eyes. . .
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Uncertainty.
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I swallowed straightening myself against Rickey's chest.
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"Rickey, Seth. . . in your, experience what do you think of the option?"
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The quick fill in on the proposal was brief, but it was enough for me to feel the emotions that started seeping through the whole limo as we drove here. Enough to make me almost sick in my stomach from the different reactions everyone had.
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"He's not wrong. I hate to admit. . . I just don't like the fact that we have to take him out of restraints."
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Rickey spoke slowly and calmly.
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I looked over to Seth who looked like he was in deep thought.
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"The restraints mean nothing anyways, he can break through them now for all we know. . . but he isn't. Sure with the security and everything it would be hard to break through all those heavy doors and make it all the way upstairs. I can't see him exposing the truth and risking Luna's safety."
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Joshua sighed after Seth spoke.
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"Alexander, Matthew and I have been thinking about that since he woke up. We know from Luna- and the fact that he's been held up the way he has it's going to be hard to have control over his legs alone, it'd be a risky escape- normally I'd assume the worst and think he was just playing the long game but. . ." Joshua trailed off closing him mouth.
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"But the fact is, he worships you."
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Seth finished for him and he looked at Alexander, Joshua, Matthew and Jarred.
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They all nodded in agreement.
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"We know the truth now. . . if we hadn't again this would be a different story, but in reality. We have no reason not to believe him- even if he killed Jason I think if anything his goal could have been to awaken you, but he doesn't want to take you."
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Alexander spoke.
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"I will admit my judgment is. . . perhaps clouded by my connection, but they're right. . . and I trust them- especially Seth with his. . . talents, to seek out the truth and he has not budged, even when he was in and out of consciousness." Jarred admitted as he pulled Jeff closer against him and Jeff looked up at him.
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I winced at the thought of how much he was actually being tortured by everyone. I never checked the cameras, maybe it was because I didn't want to know, maybe it was because I felt bad. I had no idea.
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"Do you really want our honest opinion?" Seth cleared his throat looking at me then Rickey.
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I nodded.
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"Take the offer."
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They spoke in unison and I turned my head to look at Rickey.
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He sighed.
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"The time choice is anyone's best guess. We should take his offer. How was he when he changed? I didn't pay much attention to the cameras. . ."
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I hesitated for a moment.
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"Well, Joshua wasn't wrong- he's hardly able to get dressed I doubt he'd try running- he couldn't even lift his arms back in place, he fell in fact."
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Jarred snorted holding in a laugh and I shot him a look.
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"Sorry, but serves him right. Regardless."
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"Alright, I'm done talking about this- I'm going downstairs to find out numbers and such."
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Rickey shifted me off his lap before getting up and heading to the door.
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"You really don't have to-"
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"Fuck off Jarred you're not firing me."
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Rickey didn't even look back at him as he shut the door.
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I shook my head. I could tell he was trying to live his old life still to an extent, maybe because he couldn't let go or maybe he needed a distraction.
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Joshua glanced over to me as he almost like he thought the same thing I did. I looked away trying to avoid contact though and he mumbled about following him before leaving himself.
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"I heard you've been digging into more fun activities recently."
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Seth commented glancing over as he started rolling a joint.
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"I'm sorry, I seem to be a little confused as to how that's any of your business?" I sneared.
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He held up his hand in defense.
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"I'm only saying what your brother won't" he laughed.
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Jarred growled at his sending him an angry glare.
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I shrugged leaning back into the seat.
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"It's different, I guess I can understand it can be therapeutic at times. . . at least in our forms- now if I could become an actual addict or something probably not, but"
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"I just- I don't want him fucking changing you okay?" Jarred cut in almost yelling as he leaned forward.
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My eyes widened as I shook my head at him.
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"Excuse me?"
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"Luna you drank sure, yeah I know you tried some weed with me, you smoke a cigarette, but you've never done all this- let alone in such a large quantity." Jarred sighed.
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"She doesn't even do half as much as we-" Seth started, but was quickly cut off.
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"That's not the damn point, we've been doing this for years- this is our life, this is how we survive- part of it anyway. She doesn't and no this has nothing to do with her damn title."
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"Jarred I really think-"
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"Alexander with all do respect this has nothing to do with you." Jarred snapped.
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"Jar relax. . ." Seth mumbled.
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"No fuck you, you're gonna call me out like that and expect my silence?"
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"Babe. . . please." Jeff said calmly as he let out a sigh.
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Jarred's jaw clenched.
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"Don't fucking pull that again, do you understand me?"
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Seth nodded.
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"You two are both idiots sometimes" Jeff shook his head and I smiled watching him look at Jarred with a small look of disappointment, but you could see how much he was fighting a big smile.
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☾☾☾
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"Did you have fun tonight? You know, you can go out for more guy's night if you want. . . I promise you don't have to stay glued to me" I said as I started getting dressed in the walk in.
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"Maybe I want to be."
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I felt the shivering rush as his voice came from suddenly behind me and I glanced at one of the mirrors as he smiled behind me.
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"So umm. . . there was something I actually wanted to talk to you about now that I'm in here"
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"Yes?" I tossed my clothes into the hamper and tied my hair up in a ponytail and started walking towards him.
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"I uh, I know Jason will be back. . . at some point and the stuff Seth brought by fits of course in the other room- but I just. . . we sleep in here, I don't know if I should move them here- I just" he sucked in a breath as he bit his lip looking at me as he rambled off.
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I frowned as I stepped closer to him.
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"If you're worrying about upsetting him. . . I doubt he would be upset if you moved some things in here- it's not like we're throwing his stuff out, and there is more than enough room to fit your stuff also okay? We can play it by ear. . ." I said softly trying to reassure him.
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I could feel how hard it all was still for him. He put on one Hell of a brave face. When we were alone sometimes at the end of the night though . . . The uncertain feeling seeped through me from him, the heartache, the disappointment. At first I was confused and almost angry that he felt that way, because after all I was bringing him back. The thing I had eventually realized is he was probably feeling like he was just in a temporary spot. He was thrown into these politics, he was then thrown into moving in with me- okay maybe forced was a strong word. They were all big changes though only to eventually be turned back to Jason. . . Part of me wasn't sure if he thought that would make him be less in our relationship.
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"I have something I want to talk to you about too. . ." I admitted.
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He raised his brow.
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"Are you scared about what's going to happen when he comes back?"
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I watched him slowly swallow and his jaw tense.
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I won't be upset. . .
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I whispered into his thoughts.
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I saw him relax again and he closed his eyes nodding once more before opening them.
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"I just don't want him disappointed or angry, I just- I'm scared he's going to misunderstand what happened while he was gone you know?"
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He rubbed his head as he let out a shaky sigh and I took his hand and looked up at him into his perfect blue and red speckled orbs.
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"He understands how things have to work. . . I'm sure if we were to explain how you ended up sleeping in the room- what Jarred said and everything it'll be fine. We slept together that one time remember?"
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I gave his hand a squeeze. It was a bittersweet memory if I were to be honest, the fact that we felt so close to one another that night was everything I could ask for. Something I wanted every night for the rest of my life if I could be completely honest. The following day though made it somewhat of a dark thought.
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He nodded.
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"I was feeling really good after getting things off my chest with him- and that night we spent together. . . I really thought- I know things were getting better and then he was gone just like that."
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He shook his head.
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Suddenly my phone gave an alarming room and I cursed under my breath when I realized who it was.
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"Hold on okay?" I slipped my hand out of his and I flashed into the bedroom looking at the caller ID double checking it was Giavonni and sighed.
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"Giavonni è piuttosto tardi da queste parti, posso chiederti perché chiami a quest'ora?"
(Giavonni it's pretty late over here- may I ask why you're calling at such an hour?)
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I watched as Rickey came out of the closet and his eyes met with mine as he leaned against the wall.
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"Ho bisogno che tu venga in Italia il prima possibile." He quickly responded.
(I need you to come to Italy as fast as possible)
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"Mi dispiace, ma dovrai darmi un motivo in più a un'ora simile e sai che ho delle cose da fare qui."
(I'm sorry, but you're going to have to give me a little more reason than that at such an hour and you know I have things to do here.)
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"Non è saggio discuterne per telefono. Ha a che fare con - fidati di me, per favore arriva qui il prima possibile." He sounded very concerned as he quickly spoke.
(I- it's not wise to discuss this over the phone. It has to do with - trust me, please just get here as soon as possible.)
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I had to admit he never called me. He had been running things the same amount of time I had. His parents were before he took over. Maybe this had to do with Ares. . . Which could be bad for us depending on what they found-or rather they didn't. Though that seemed odd to have me come over to deal with too. . .
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"Per favore!" he finally broke the silence.
(Please)
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"Ok, dirò ad Alexander di preparare il jet e di andarci" I sighed.
(Okay, I'll have Alexander get the jet ready and head over)
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"Ci vediamo presto, oh e porta anche Jarred per favore, ciao" The called quickly ended before I could say anything else.
(I'll see you soon, oh and bring Jarred too please, bye)
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"It was a little hard to hear over the phone- wasn't that Giovanni?" Rickey asked.
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"We need to head to Italy immediately, something is wrong."
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I looked at my phone and texted Alexander to get the jet ready and meet me in our bedroom and began packing for Rickey and I quickly.
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"I don't understand- what's wrong?"
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"I don't know- but he sounded really worried which is odd for him. . ." I packed the few essentials as I ran around the room and I tossed the bags on the bed as Alexander walked in.
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"What's wrong? Has something happened?" he asked putting away his phone.
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"I don't know- he said we needed to get there, he seemed hesitant to say why he seemed worried."
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I shook my head still surprised by his actions.
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"We may have an equally bad problem. . ." Rickey cut in and we both looked at him.
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"If we both have to leave. . . what are we doing about Ares?"
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I swallowed.
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