It had been two months since his father had left them and his mother was a skeleton, her body was so thin, no more soft cuddly hugs, just skin, hard muscle and bones. Not that Shen hugged his mother, he didn’t hug her again until he was in his early twenties.
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During these two months Chan left for a different part of the country, to finish his last part of his design degree. So then it was just his mum and him rattling around in the big house together. His mother was now working two jobs, how she fit time in to sleep or eat he never knew because she went on like this all during the time Shen left school and went on to the local college. He had decided to study accountancy and finance, his new college was in a different borough and all of his gang of friends from school went to different colleges. They all left promising to keep in touch!
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At home things inside the house started to disappear, electrical equipment, ornaments, silver dinning set, things which their father had worked hard to fill their home with, were going one by one. Shen noticed a large pile of mail in the hall, it seemed to get bigger and bigger, all of the envelopes were brown with words stamped on them in red ink on the front ‘Second notice’, ’Final notice”, “Mortgage Final notice”.
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By this time Shen had turned into a horrible, selfish prick, he could quite clearly see that his mother was struggling to maintain the facade of ‘happy family’ so what did he do? He partied, he drank way too much and was never at home. Home was just somewhere he couldn’t go right now, it wasn’t home, it was a derelict building that once was his happy family.
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His baby fat burned off him, his acne cleared up, his facial contours sharpened and he raided all of his older brothers clothes. He had asked and asked, moaned on and on at his mum to buy him new clothes, but he just got a glassy eyed glare. Everyone else was hooking up in college, whether it be girlfriends or boyfriends, couples were appearing in his class, he was starting to feel weird because after nights out his new college friends (the guys mainly) quite often went home with someone, one night stands were a thing.
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Initially Shen felt like he was going to throw up at the very thought, every time a girl or a boy approached him he turned them down. The anxiety over being part of any sexual situation, made him hesitant, but one night he drank until he couldn’t see straight, his inhibitions were down to zero and he somehow ended up in the bedroom of his classmate Jay who had dragged Shen and this girl Nora back to his student accommodation with promises of more beer.
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The minute Jay closed his door, he locked it with a drunken giggle. Shen staggered over to the single bed and sat down. The room was spinning, and he grinned when Nora came and dropped into his lap, winding her arms around his neck.
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“Wanted you for a while Shen, you’re so cute…..” Nora was whispering this into his ear, licking the lobe hotly.
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Shen was momentarily speechless, but figured he would never lose his virginity if he hid away, wasn’t it better to get rid of this cumbersome thing? It all made sense in his drunken brain.
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“Wanted you both…” Nora said this and held her arm out towards Jay, who grinned and stripped off his clothes very quickly.
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Shen couldn’t help but admire Jay’s fit body, it was kissed by the sun, muscles swelling nicely and his cock was standing to attention. Nora stood and quickly took off her skirt and vest, Jay unfastened her bra and soon she was completely naked, standing in front of Shen like a goddess. Her breasts were heavy, but perky as fuck, huge brown nipples tipped each one, she had a nicely curved hourglass figure.
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Shen stood. Jay and Nora pulled at his clothes, removing his jeans and boxers until all three of them stood naked together. Shen wanted to kiss them both, but started with Nora…his lips plundered her soft ones, his kiss was desperate.
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Nora lay down, her legs parted and Shen could see the lips glistening there, wet, ready for him, he had never wanted to be inside anyone before, but he wanted inside Nora badly.
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“Hey wait!” Jay stopped him and gave him a condom which Shen took and rolled on somehow, remembering adverts in health class.
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As soon as the condom was on, he was on Nora, his body came down on hers and she moaned when their flesh glued together. Shen was pleased when Nora took charge and grabbed his shaft, guiding him inside of her wetness.
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“Fuck!” Shen’s was in hot tight heaven, squeezing muscles welcomed his long slide in.
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Nora grabbed his ears and began kissing him deeply, she rocked her hips, helping him find a rhythm dictated by her, speeding up, slowing down, she hands guided his hips until he was smacking against her clit and she was crying out, she squeezed him, pulsing around him as she came.
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“Stay still loves…” Jay’s gasping voice intruded on this very special, first time for him.
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“Just gonna lube you up.” Jays fingers slid between their legs Shen could feel a cool set fingers playing where Nora and he were connected.
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Shen shouted out when slippery fingers plunged harshly into his hole.
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“Hold tight…” Jay’s hands were now on his arse, parting it, the head of his condom covered cock pressed incessantly against his hole.
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“Wait…” Any words were muffled against Nora’s lips, her legs wrapped around Shen, making certain no body was going anywhere.
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“Oh fuck Shen, yes you bastard, I knew you would be hot!” Jays voice took over as he roughly shoved into Shen’s virginal hole.
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“Aaaaaaah no., no it hurts stop it…” Shen’s back arched in pain, the more Jay pressed into him the more he pressed down to get away from the opportunistic bastard who was taking something from.
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“Shen, fuck me, ignore that, and fuck me!” Nora was obviously getting off watching the tears run down Shen’s face and she was getting pressed in all the right places because her hips began to undulate.
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“Yes!” Jay started to fuck him, and it hurt so badly, it nearly made him pass out.
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Why did he always get himself into these drink fuelled situations? The clutch of Nora’s wetness undulating up, pressing him into Jay’s hard downward thrusts, and his body was confused. The pain was so distracting, but his dick was in heaven being worked hard in Nora’s soaked channel and Jay was now pressing down harder, the angle changed and suddenly he wanted to come.
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It was all feeling so fucking good,
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“Coming`!” Nora squeezed him hard.
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“Me. Too…….Yes…..mmmmm!” Jay’s hips stuttered and smacked against his ass without stopping.
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“AAAHHH!” An orgasm ripped from Shen, it literally exploded out of nowhere, he came hotly in his condom, groaning when Jay pumped him painfully a few more times.
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They all collapsed in a heap, Nora was laughing, and stroking Shen’s hair. Jay lay across Shen’s back and sighed happily, his hips still humping Shen.
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Shen buried his face in the pillow and wept quietly because he had allowed this to happen, it was his fault again. So this was how sex was going to be? Spiked alcohol, drugs, peodo ex-brothers, now his own classmates had literally fucked him over. Shen grew jaded at a very early age.
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There was one time in his life which really stuck in his head. After his virginity was taken from him, Shen was disillusioned, he trusted no one. His father abandoned him, his brother fucking left him and his mother was like some ghoulish zombie. She terrified Shen with her perfect smile, soulless eyes, the bags under her eyes she hid with makeup and she looked so young now that she was wearing different clothes due to her massive weight loss. It was like someone had stolen his mum and replaced her with her current version. He felt like there was literally no one who was going through what he had gone through. Who else in the world hurt as badly as he did? Did he mention that he was a selfish bastard?
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He remembered coming home after college to get a change of clothes and the house was filled with cardboard boxes. His mum came out of the kitchen and when she spotted him she bit her lip clearly hesitant.
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“Shen, come into the kitchen there’s something I want to talk to you about.” She walked away, looking behind to make sure Shen was following.
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“What is it mum? I have to go, got to meet some friends.” Shen took off his coat and bag putting them on the rack in the cupboard.
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“Shen we are putting the house on the market.” His mum said this while packing up more of the meagre possessions they had left.
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“What? What you can’t do that!” Shen stood up and shouted, what the fuck he hated this house, it was a grave to his happy family, but it was his house, there was no where else he could call home.
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“We have to I can’t pay the mortgage, I have ran out of money and your father hasn’t sent a penny for three months. I have barely been able to feed us Shen! We need to get rid of this house, we’re drowning” When his mum tried to touch his arm he flinched away.
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“NO, why are you doing this!” Shen wanted to scream ‘I hate you, I hate that bastard for doing this, I hate him, I hate this family so much!’ Shen’s whole body was just a ball of boiling rage. Scared of how his emotions were whirling out of control, he got up and started to walk toward the stairs to his bedroom.
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“Shen come back, you need to go up and start packing your things, I put boxes in your room.”
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“.” Shen was just in shock, he looked at this house which he grew up in and the thought of moving away made him want to bawl his eyes out like a baby.
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“Oh and Shen your father is coming to the house today to sign some paperwork, he said he wants to see you.” His mum looked nervous and jumpy they had not seen each other since their fight, when his father slammed out of the house and out of their life.
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“.” Shen found his mouth was glued shut, it was like his was catatonic.
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“Go shower and get changed put some decent clothes on.” He noticed belatedly that his mother was wearing a pretty skirt and a soft white shirt, her black hair was short pixie like, she looked stunning.
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“.” So she wants to impress him? Whatever. Shen went upstairs to his bedroom and looked around. His mum had already started packing a few things but there were a lot of empty boxes waiting to be filled. Shen just went and sat at his study desk, he lapsed into a coma state, he was just sitting there like the dead.
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Shen wished with all of his heart that his older brother was here, he wanted Chan to be there with him. A united front. Shen showered and changed quickly putting on some nice jeans and his brother’s shirt. It made him feel like Chan was there wrapped around him, giving him a hug.
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Shen flinched when he heard the front door bell. His arse stayed firmly planted in his seat. He heard the door open and then the low murmur of voices, his parents clearly had a lot to talk about because he didn’t hear feet on the twisting stairs for as least an hour.
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He was so tense! All his muscles were locked up and he nervously pulled a textbook towards him and started writing notes. When he heard his father’s foot steps walking up to his door, he felt sick, he wanted to throw up this whole situation was making his anxiety spike through the roof.
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The door opened and Shen’s body refused to turn around to face the arsehole who didn’t want him.
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“Hello Shen, you’re looking good.”
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“.”
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“For a moment there I thought you were Chan.” His father laughed then.
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“.”
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“Not that Chan will speak to me, he just hangs up on me.”
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“.” His father was trying to call Chan? He never called his mum or him ever.
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“I heard from your mother that your studies are going well.”
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“.”
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“I miss you Shen.”
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“.”
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“You look so handsome, take after me.” His father laughed again.
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“.”
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“I am have to go.”
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Shen felt bile rise the back of his throat when his father actually leaned down and hugged him awkwardly, all he wanted to do was shove the man away, push him down the stairs and kick him out of the front door of the house he had lost.
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Shen waited until his father had left the room to let out a gasp, his heart was thudding too loudly. Getting up he staggered towards his bedroom door and walked out on to the landing. He leant over the banister, and looked downwards trying to catch one last glimpse of his dad.
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His parents were standing at the open door, his father was patting Ginseng on the head stroking her, their low conversation just reached his ears.
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“You look amazing.” His father lifted a hand to his mother’s cheek and stroked it.
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“.” His mother was silent.
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“I am going to miss this old house.”
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“Well, why did you leave it?” His mother finally found her voice.
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“It’s stupid now, I guess you always want to go somewhere the grass is greener.”
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“Well is it?”
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“No. I miss you, I miss the boys, I miss my old life.”
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“Shame. Your old life is now in ruins.”
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“I’ve really fucked up, haven’t I?”
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“Yes you have. Chan called me this morning from London, he’s got his degree now and some company in Beijing has hired him on as an apprentice. His living expenses are all included. He’s accepted, and leaving tomorrow from Heathrow.”
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“He really hates me doesn’t he?”
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“Yes, he does.”
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“Can we get a plane down to say goodbye? There might be a cancellation…”
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“WE HAVE NO MONEY, NOTHING, WE ARE BANKRUPT!”
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“.”
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“I had to pawn my jewellery, my mother’s wedding ring to feed Shen and I this last month!”
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His father grabbed his mothers hands, squeezing them lovingly.
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“I can’t take back everything I’ve done, I can’t say sorry enough but please let me come back and we can do this together?”
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“.”
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Was his father seriously wanting to come back? Was his mother listening to any of this shit?
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Shen couldn’t believe what he was seeing, his mother just shut the front door and walked off towards the living room. His father followed her seconds after.
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THAT WAS IT?! They had lost their home, his brother was leaving for who knew how long to fucking work in Beijing, Shen had lost everything, his family was smashed to dust and that smarmy prick was downstairs in the living room like he was welcome!
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Shen kicked a box, caved it in until it was squashed beneath his feet. So futile and stupid, just like him. He couldn’t stand being in the house any longer, so he changed into clubbing clothes, grabbed his wallet and ran downstairs, the living room door was shut.
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Shen just ran for the door. His father had left his jacket hanging by the front door, Shen rifled through the pockets until he found his dad’s wallet. He stole £50 and fled.
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Lesson Seven - Hatred is a great emotion, but don't let it win, make sure to deal with that shit at the time and not years later
Lesson Eight - Alcohol can and will get you into some seriously fucked up situations, moderate
Lesson Nine - Stealing is wrong the end
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