I was sitting on a chair in front of a tall mirror, while mama stood at my back. She was combing my hair repeatedly as if wishing for it to grow long.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl8ciTDqPw
"You are so beautiful, my sweet Judy," she said, smiling. "When you grow up, you will make a good mistress of our home."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRAFS7RwaO
I closed my eyes and nodded in response.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOmDc2nJzc
Whatever caused mama to be firm in raising me the way mothers bring up women confused me. She's been very vocal about her faith in God at home, in school, and most especially in the church, but she was also actively taking part in something that she knew was against His standards.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryRrS4YWqF
Her children, including yours truly, happened to be all-male, but instead of being thankful for His wonderful gifts, she was still wishing for something impossible.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqOhpFlxKc
When papa had not yet stepped on the ship, he once told us that Mama had always desired a daughter so that she could have someone to help her with the chores and bond with by combing and braiding hair, putting on make-up, dressing up, and other girly stuff.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWaE453TFQ
He even said that when I was born, I looked—you know, like that girly type of angelic the media portrayed angelic to be: soft, white skin, pinkish lips, and round eyes covered in thick, curly lashes. So she raised me as a girl. Of course, papa was against it, but the last thing he wanted for himself was to endure Mama’s unbridled bombardment of snide remarks. So this angelic-looking twelfth grader suffered the consequences.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXt7BF59MvI
My eyes flew open when something cold and hard buried itself in the strands of my hair. I fought the urge to raise an eyebrow as her butterfly hairpin sparkled above my right ear.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wrHY7fTco
"There, beautiful." She appreciated before lacing her fingers through my hair for the last time. "I hope your hair grows longer. Let your beauty shine."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp77ZhCJnet
She held out her arm.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToQjQF2s4N
"Come, dear, we have to go to the market. We are running out of supplies."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7hqGeKBQd
I took her hand and allowed her to help me up.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDqwfnahy3
493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWK3StR7qqw
We were about to leave for the market when one of my brothers arrived, carrying loads of supplies. It was our eldest. He placed the bags on the table when he reached the kitchen. Upon doing so, the band that kept his hair in a neat bun snapped, causing the black, wavy strands on his head to tumble about his broad shoulders.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBQfoiHyh0
"Oh, thank you so much, Joe, we didn't have to go to the market," said mama. "I hope we haven't taken up your time."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6aq7YpCg7
"Nah," he answered in a deep voice.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAwMLn8BVF
I immediately arranged the supplies in our pantry, watching him sit by the head of the table and take off his damp, white shirt.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlr6O4Dx2k5
My lips tightened at the sight of it. I wish I was more like him. I wish I had his lean yet perfectly sculpted muscles, his hard, square face, his thin mustache, and his low, husky voice. But mama’s dream of having a daughter has wound me into becoming the keeper of the house. Me looking more like a girl must have added to it.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzC2og6FqJC
She sat on the right side and handed him a glass of water.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIYwKAOPVi
"Won't you miss work?" she asked.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDZjaaTcWD
He downed the water in one swallow. "No, I'm on a day off," Joe replied. "I could do the laundry."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGb9YszfRX
"But you don't need to, my son. You are a man." She placed her hand on the ripped arm of my brother. "Besides, Judy is here. She can take care of everything."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugrPQoBF2m
Joe's eyes darted on me as my hands mindlessly brushed my nearly skinny bicep. He smirked and chuckled.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztxvu4H8KX
"Dude, you look like a plant. Can you take it off?" he said.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nCtywwUZd
He was talking about that golden butterfly clip Mama planted in my hair. I sighed but in relief. Finally, somebody realized just how awkward that looked.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSBWMpoZtE
My brother stood and walked toward me, reaching out his fingers to remove that embarrassing piece from my head.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPrfIJNss7
"There," he said, grinning like a dog. "Better."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qtESE2llD
He went back to his seat.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3mISz1kfH
Mama's eyes widened in horror. "Joseph! Why did you do that? Don't you see how pretty your sister looks?"493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQnaF4BJOJ
Joe turned his attention on mama.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbba8dZoVy
"Ma, Judah is my brother." He allowed the clip to twist between his thumb and forefinger.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQgGeXBPmt
Mama gently took the clip from him and enclosed his big hands in her brown fingers.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqfzovj783
She explained in a soft voice, "My dear boy, I understand where you are coming from, but you do remember my dream, right?"493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDo7k2WhhH
Joe did not answer, so she gave him a nudge.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0MJ52Sthn
"Right, anak?” Mama insisted.493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1apBDM9xGF
His eyes rolled upward and he chuckled. "Judy."493Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINHCnsJrNu
Then he rose from his seat and headed to his room.
Penana
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