103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRHIKtRJlR
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3n4v52clA
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGdkYkYf45
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3U69bendk
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXwaHsnngi
There is a distant humming I can hear coming from somewhere in the kitchen. I continue to lay on my back on the floor, a soft rug separating me from the hardwood. The rain pats lowly on the windows and I hear footsteps coming from outside my door. Although the music from my laptop is blasting next to me, I can hear such insignificant things. I also keep thinking of her. I can hear my pain in the lyrics and high pitch of the guitar. These songs are speaking to my lovesick self.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1nik66qGz
You should get up now, my brain tells me.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8TlAikQu5
I only have so much strength in my legs to stay up. My heartache over something that never happened seems to weigh me down.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Fx3zx4LYF
“You love her too much.”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX7itCN5dm
I look up to face him.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIygDKXAQiJ
“I don’t want to hear that shit right now.” I start to walk to my desk to get a better view of him.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0HdDi1dHd
“You’re beating yourself up over this too much. You can’t make her love you. It’s not fair to the both of you.”
He keeps talking about things I already know. I’m getting annoyed already. Usually, it takes a while for him to get on my nerves.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPC1kwP1Sm
“She doesn’t even know. Let me be sad on my own. I’m not hurting her.”
At least I hope so, I think to myself.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Au6zoFdn2
He looks down to give me the same look he’s given me for years. Domineering, belittling and straight up fucking annoying.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgBpXHlDRl
He sighs and breaks eye contact, “I guess, but that doesn’t mean you should be miserable every day. It makes me hate her.”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtObymS4Bqt
I scoff, “She didn’t even do anything for you to hate her. Stop blaming her.”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LSf0GYehF
I would hate her too if she did anything to hurt me. It would be easier to blame her for this, but I know it’s stupid to do that.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwem7KtI4Sz
“So I’m supposed to just sit here and watch you die? You can love someone else if you just let yourself!”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YRD0lYZP2
He’s always been overprotective of my feelings. He just wants me to be happy… I think.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsIiS4tzyV
I let out a sigh of my own, finally letting myself breathe correctly for a bit, “I started this, dragging someone else into my misery would be cruel.”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1dCSj06JR
I try my best to keep to myself and to bury my feelings. The jaguar always intrudes in my thoughts and finds out how I feel before I do. When he found out I made a deal with La Virgen, he made it his duty to constantly remind me what I have to do to fulfill my end of the deal.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNs7fcGC3tW
‘Make you first love fall in love with you in 2 years’ time. If you fail to do so, I’ll drag you down with me.’
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2YMo7ufj8
Her voice was like magic, she was bright and beautiful, but absolutely terrifying. My first mistake was wishing for money for my mom and sister. My second mistake was agreeing to the deal.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhuyISYx7i
“I’m going to try to summon her again.”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCF724uQNs
He stands up abruptly, “Are you insane?! Are you going to ask for more money or for mercy? I told you she’s merciless from the start! I swear to-”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePjRTunyN2
“Relax, I’m not going to do any of that. I tried it once already,” I mumble that last sentence as to not agitate him any more than I already am.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52P0b2g85Q
He plops back down in a laying position, “So what are you going to ask for this time? It better not be some dumb shit again.”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9pTZq6KFw
“You’ll see when I summon her. It’s not anything huge. I promise,” I’m trying to stay on his good side for now.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡun18s2eyKq
He scoffs again and disappears into my shelf. I’ll see him again soon, probably in my nightmares, where he usually hangs out.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7Lz5mBKVR
I hear the front door unlock and see my roommate walk in. He shakes off his umbrella on the door mat and waves at me with a small smile. He always dresses nice on gloomy days. Probably to keep his mood up.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmAOyszqGv
“Ding dong!” He usually says this to greet me or to announce his presence in the dorm. I give him a small smile, acknowledging him.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLFhkY0BRJ
He looks around the room and into the kitchen, “Who was that you were just talking to?”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ152MutqI5M
“I was just on the phone with someone. How was class?” I swiftly change the subject.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeDzNYnpC4
He lets out a dramatic sigh while putting his coat away, “Bro, I hate that class so much. It’s enough that I failed it last semester, but the fact that I have to take it again? This school hates me.”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHxX7fKiGd
I chuckle, “Well, if you ever need help, let me know. I somewhat enjoyed that class last semester.”
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoB9dVPYdzC
He makes his way to his desk and pulls out his pipe from the top drawer. He likes pipes, “Yeah right. You complained about it so much last year,” he sits to fill the pipe for a few seconds, lights it and slowly sucks, “Want a hit? Its Friday,” he says enthusiastically.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWpoV0liqh
That’s usually an excuse I have for smoking, “You know me so well.” I take the pipe and suck.
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rsneHn9zN
We sit, smoke and chat for a while, waiting for the flower to turn to ash. The fuzzy high feeling sinks in after a while and I forget my heartache. We decide to sit on the floor after a while, and I’m back to where I started.
ns18.188.99.196da2
