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Malaking pasalamat ni Aaleia nang tumingala siya sa langit at napansing hindi na tumitirik ang sikat ng araw habang naglalakad patungo sa puntod ng kanyang ina.
Bitbit niya ang isang bouquet ng bulaklak sa kaliwang kamay at isang malaking bag sa kanyang kanang balikat. Medyo mahaba ang nilalakad niya matapos ang isang oras na byahe ng tricycle papuntang Heaven's Sanctuary cemetery. Nasa kadulo-duluhan pa kasi ang puntod ng nanay niya at hindi naman pwedeng pumasok ang tricycle sa pinakaloob ng simenteryo kaya nilalakad niya talaga ito.
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Madalas namang bumisita ito sa kanyang ina pero kakaiba lang talaga ang init ng panahon ngayon dahil summer season na at tila dumoble na ang init ngayong buwan. Mabuti na lamang at nakasuot lang siya ng light green na bestidang may manggas na hindi gaano mabigat sa katawan.
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"Hello, Nanay!" Masiglang bati ni Aaleia sa puntod ng kanyang ina pagkalapag niya ng mga gamit. "Na-miss mo ba 'ko? Dalawang linggo rin ako hindi nakabisita. Sorry na. Busy sa trabaho at errands."
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Napawi naman ang hingal ng dalaga nang maglatag na siya ng blanket sa tabi ng puntod at doon naupo. Saka siya nagumpisang magsindi ng kandila tinirik iyon sa lapida ni Clara Madrigal.
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"I miss you lagi, 'Nay. Kahit hindi kita nakagisnan, kahit hindi kita nakita." May tumulong luha sa pisngi ni Aaleia at kaagad naman niya itong pinunasan. "Sorry na kung feeling close ako, alam niyo naman pong kayo lang ang pamilya ko." Lalong nalungkot ang dalaga sa huling sinabi niya.
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What she said was the half-truth anyway. May pamilyang maituturing si Aaleia ngunit hindi pamilya ang turing sa kanya ngunit isang katulong lang. Kasama niya sa bahay ay ang tinatawag niyang step-family kung saan kasama niya ang kanyang step-father, step-mother, at step-sister.
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Ayon sa kwento ng kanyang ama-amahan, bago pa man ipanganak si Aaleia ng kanyang ina ay yumao na ang kanyang totoong tatay. Doon nanligaw ang kanyang step-father sa kanyang ina at ito na ang umangkin ng responsibilidad.
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Ngunit tila naglaro ang tadhana dahil namatay naman si Clara sa panganganak. Kaya ang natirang legal na magulang ni Aaleia ay ang kanyang step-father na si Julio. Dalawang taon pa lang siya noon ay nagpakasal muli si Julio sa kanyang pangalawang asawa na si Esmee at nagkaanak sila ng babae na ngalan ay Estella.
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The Madrigals were kind to keep Aaleia and let her live under the same roof with them, but cruel enough to treat her like some kind of a stay-in maid. Typical Cinderella story. Hindi naman pinagkait kay Aaleia ang pagaaral dahil hinayaan siya ng kanyang stepfather na pumasok sa public school mula kinder hanggang highschool. But she had to work very hard for every 'help'.
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Lahat may kapalit. Kung kinakailangan niya ng baon o extra money sa project, it would mean a load work of house chores during the weekends. Bata pa lamang ay pinamukha na kay Aaleia na siya ay outcast sa pamilyang kinagisnan niya.
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She was given what she needs to survive, yes, but she was not given any ounce of love.
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There were even times when she would starve dahil isang daang piso lang ang binibigay sa kanya ng step-father niya at kailangan niya iyong pagkasiyahin sa isang linggo. Doon siya natutong magtipid at mag budget. At the very young age, she knew how to survive and take care of herself.
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Pero minsan, hindi niya mapigilang mainggit nang kaunti kay Estella. Everything was given to her step-sister. All the money, all the love, everything.
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But Aaleia remained grateful. Alam niyang hindi siya mabubuhay kundi sa tulong ng mga Madrigal. They even let her have their name. They were the only people who she could call family, even if most of the time she didn't feel like she has one.
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Nagtagal si Aaleia sa sementeryo ng tatlong oras tulad ng nakasanayan. Linggo ngayon at day off niya sa trabaho kaya ayos lang sa kanyang magtagal hanggang hapon. Balak pa sana niyang kumain magisa sa labas pero nakailang-missed calls na ang kanyang Tita Esme at hinahanap na siya.
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Nasa tricycle na siya pauwi ng tumunog ang cellphone niya't agad niyang sinagot iyon.
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"Tita, pauwi na po--"
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"Hoy, Ali! Para saan pa't binigay ni Estella 'yang dating cellphone niya kung hindi ka naman sasagot sa mga tawag namin, ha?!"
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Napapikit ang dalaga sa tinis ng sigaw ng asawa ng kanyang ama-amahan. "Sorry po, Tita. Nasa byahe na ho ako pauwi galing sementeryo--"
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"Aba't bilis bilisan mo! Kung kailan namang day off mo saka ka nawawala nang matagal! Nagugutom na kami at walang magluluto!" Hindi na nakasagot si Aaleia dahil pinutol na ni Esme ang tawag.
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Isang malalim na buntong-hininga na lamang ang nagawa niya at nakiusap sa tricycle driver na mas pabilisin pa ang takbo.
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Ala sais nang makauwi si Aaleia sa bahay at dali-dali siyang nagasikaso ng hapunan nila habang sinesermunan siya ni Esme. Nang makaluto, hinintay niyang makumpleto silang tatlo na kumain bago umakyat si Aaleia sa kwarto.
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Ayaw ng Tita Esme niya na sumasabay siyang kumain sa kanilang tatlo. Kaya hinihintay niyang makatapos sila saka siya bababa para kainin ang matitirang ulam bago maghugas ng pinggan.
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Nang matapos ang mga gawain sa baba ay umakyat na si Aaleia sa maliit niyang kwarto para magpahinga. Pero nadatnan niya si Estella doon na suot-suot ang itim nitong pencil skirt at puting blouse na uniform niya sa trabaho.
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"Ali, pwede bang hiramin ko 'tong uniform mo bukas? Wala akong susuotin sa defense ko bukas eh. Kailangan ko ng ganitong blouse at pencil skirt." Sabi ng step-sister niya.
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"Naku, hindi pwede eh. Iyan lang kasi ang uniform ko at may pasok rin ako bukas." Naiisip pa lang niyang iba ang susuotin niyang uniporme bukas sa opisina ay nanliliit na siya.
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Maswerte siyang nakatapos siya ng Office Administration sa publikong kolehiyo at nakahanap ng trabaho bilang secretary sa isang marketing firm sa Maynila.
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Bagamat mas maraming trabaho kesa sa sahod, nagawa niyang makapagpundar ng matinong uniform galing sa sahod niya. Halos kahati rin kasi ng sahod niya ang perang hinihingi ni Esme bilang ambag niya sa bahay kada buwan.
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"Ano ba 'yan, minsan lang ako humirit sa'yo." Nakangusong sagot ni Estella sa kanya. "Pambawi mo na lang sa cellphone na binigay ko."
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The guilt card, isip ni Aaleia. Sa mga ganitong sitwasyon mahirap tanggihan ang kanyang kapatid dahil nga may utang na loob siya dito.
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"Importante rin kasi ang gagawin ko bukas. May presentation ang boss ko sa kliyente at kailangan kong magmukhang presentable--"
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"Sige na, Ali! Please? Kailangan ko lang talaga. Please? Please? Iingatan ko naman ang damit mo. Please?"
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Napapikit na lang ang dalaga sabay tango. "Isang araw lang ha. Good luck sa defense mo bukas."
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"Thank you, Ali!" Napayakap ang kapatid niya sa kanya nang mahigpit. Minsan hindi magawang kamuhian ni Aaleia ang kapatid niyang ito dahil medyo mabait naman ito. Spoiled nga lang.
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Nang mapagisa sa kwarto ay napahiga na lang siya sa kanyang kama. Matagal siyang nakatitig sa kisame ng bahay at dahan-dahang tumulo ang mga luha sa kanyang mata.
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Madalas sa gabi kapag mag-isa na lang siya kasama ang kanyang mga iniisip, hindi niya mapigilan ang kalungkutan. The fact that she has to do everything again tomorrow is tiring enough.
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Para mapawi ang lungkot, naisipan niyang mag-cellphone para magpaantok hanggang sa mabasa niya ang message sa kanya ng kanyang kaibigan sa opisina.
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Candy: Girl, ready ka na ba bukas?
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"THEY HATED IT. Damn it!" Sigaw ni Mr. Delgado, ang boss niya sa trabaho kinaumagahan isang oras matapos ang presentation nito sa isang bigatin na kliyente.
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Nakatayo lang si Aaleia sa loob ng office ng boss niya habang pinapanood itong magwala at magbato ng mga gamit na mamaya ay siya rin ang magaayos.
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"They didn't like everything about that marketing idea! They didn't like everything! Including that outfit of yours, Ali!" Panduduro ng boss niya sa kanya.
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Agad na napatingin si Aaleia sa suot niyang itim na blouse at gray na slacks. "Sir? Sorry?"
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"I told you to wear something good! Something easy on the eyes! Kaya siguro minalas tayo sa presentation kanina dahil dyan sa suot mo! Damn it!" Patuloy nito sa pagwawala.
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Ugali na talaga ng boss niya na magpuna ng kung anu-ano at isisi sa iba ang mga kamalasan. She sighed. Another day for you, Aaleia.
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"Do you know how much of that deal was? It's worth thirteen million, Ali! Thirteen million! You wore a crappy rag outfit to a thirteen million presentation! God damn it!"
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Hahayaan na sana niya kaya lang parang below the belt na ang sinabi ng boss niya.
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"Pardon, sir. It's not fair to put the blame on me when everything in that presentation is your idea, not mine. Hindi ba dapat sisihin ninyo ang sarili niyo?"
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"You dare talk back to me now, Ali? Tell me. Do you want to lose your fucking job?"
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Three years. She reminded herself. Three years nang ganyan ang trato sa'yo. Three fucking years.
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"Answer me, Ali. Do you want to get fired?"
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Napailing kaagad ang dalaga. "No sir, I don't."
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"Good, now fix me up some coffee bago pa mandilim ang paningin ko sa'yo."
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"As a matter of fact, I am quitting." Sabi niya bago siya lumabas ng opisina at kinuha lahat ng gamit niya.
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She suddenly felt tired. So tired and empty. That blow from her boss was the last straw. For a long time she had been patient with her cruel boss. All her life she was patient and grateful. But now, it seemed too much. She's so sick of her life. She's so fed up at everything. She wanted to get away.
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Is it always about struggles and misery for her in this lifetime?
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When will this end? Will it ever end? She was so done and so tired in and out.
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'Yan lang paulit-ulit na iniisip ni Aaleia habang naglalakad siya kung saan man siya dalhin ng paa niya. Hindi niya na alam kung gaano katagal na siyang naglalakad. At some point while walking, she just started sobbing.
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True, it was not a smart move to quit when she needs a job to survive. Ano na lamang ang sasabihin ng mga tao sa bahay kung malaman nilang bigla bigla na lang siyang nag-quit sa trabaho?
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But then, what she did was bold, and it felt right at that moment. Naabot na ang kanyang limit at talagang pumitik na siya. Hindi na niya kaya.
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Would it be wrong to give up? All she ever did was fight since the moment she was born. Fight for life. Fight to survive. At tila wala nang natitirang lakas sa kanya para lumaban sa mga susunod na araw.
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She suddenly stopped when she came across a tiny city market and something from a newspaper stand caught her eye.
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There was an ad in one of the newspapers about La Isla Sacramento. The renowned vacation place for those who wanted to find themselves. Nabanggit ito ng katrabaho niyang si Candy na dito nagtatrabaho ang kanyang tiyahin. Laman ng kwento ni Candy ang ganda at pagka-solemn ng lugar na parang mag-iiba ang buhay mo kapag nagtagal sa lugar na ito.
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A typical place where broken hearted people go, isip ni Aaleia. Ngunit hindi naman siya broken. She was rather empty. Hollow. At parang sobra nang kalungkutan ang dala ng miserable niyang buhay.
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She wanted a new purpose in life.
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She wanted to get away, and she wanted to do it now.
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All rights reserved.
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This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or person, living or dead, is entirely COINCIDENTAL.
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Nothing in this story may be reproduced in any manner, either a part or whole, without the written permission of the author.
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