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My name is Sari.
I don't know the exact day of my birth-no baby pictures, no memory book. All
I know, I'm an orphan. My parents died in an accident when I was
was too young to remember their faces. That loss not only
left me desolate, but also dependent on my maternal grandparents.
and grandmother on my mother's side.
They
welcomed me into the silence of their bamboo house at the edge of the village. The house was not
simple; it was more like a hut. The walls were made of woven bamboo that
had many holes in them. The wind blew freely through, touching our bones every night.
every night. The roof made of thatched leaves was rotten, partially patched with
plastic and burlap sacks. Rain is no longer a guest, it's an old relative
who always came without permission and made us wet without mercy.
Grandpa and
grandparents are too old to work. Grandpa, who used to be a farmer, now only
sitting in front of the house, staring at the evening sky with empty but loving eyes.
full of love. Grandmother, although her body is bent and her hands are shaking, is still
trying to weave mats from pandanus leaves to sell at the market, even though they only sell for two thousand rupiah.
sold for only two thousand rupiah. For food, we depended on firewood sold by
grandfather, and occasionally the compassion of a neighbor who delivered a simple side dish of vegetables, fried tofu, or simply sambal.
clear, fried tofu, or just chili sauce and warm rice.
I never
never felt a lack of love.
At that time
I was nine years old. My body was thin, but my breasts had started to grow.
My grandmother said I was descended from my mother whose family of women had big breasts.
all, my hair was a mess of curls, my skin dark from the sun, and my fingers
calluses from often helping my grandmother wash or draw water from the deep well.
well.
The children
The neighborhood children are starting school. They walk early in the morning in their
white-red uniforms, clean faces and bright smiles. I could only watch from
distance, while carrying a bucket of water to the kitchen.
"Mak, I
want to go to school," I said one night. Grandmother stopped chewing rice, looked at me for a
for a long time. Her eyes were wet.
"School is
free, son. But uniforms, books, shoes? Your grandfather can't even buy rice
without going into debt at the stall."
I
nodded slowly. I understood, but couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.
I wanted to learn. I want to be able to write my name, I want to read stories in books,
want to know the world beyond these bamboo walls.
Until one day
one day, news came from a distant relative Wak Amir, the older brother of my late
my father. He was known as a successful duck farmer in the village opposite. It is said that
he had almost a thousand ducks.
His house
big house, large land. Together with his wife, Wak Indun, he came to our home
with one offer: they wanted to adopt me.
"We don't have a daughter
you don't have a daughter yet, Sar," Wak Indun said, stroking my head. "You
can help in the kitchen, look after the house. We can also take care of school."
Grandmother
was silent. Grandfather held his knees, staring at the ground. I didn't know whether to be happy or
scared. A big house? Eating regularly? School? But also having to leave
grandparents? What if they get sick? What if I don't
accepted?
But
finally, they let me go after wak Amir gave me a thick envelope
that I didn't know what it contained.
With a cloth bag
cloth bag containing two shabby outfits and a pair of flip-flops, I left for Wak Amir's house.
Wak Amir's house.
The house was
really big. Walls, tiled floors. There was a refrigerator, a television, even a
a motorcycle. I was amazed. But none of that made me feel comfortable.
My first night, I slept in the same room as Wak Amir's five sons
all of them were still in school, but they were not far from me in age. The oldest, Mas Adi,
15 years old and in the second grade of junior high school.
The room was
narrow, with only two thin mattresses. We slept on top of each other, the boys and me
the only girl. I was embarrassed, confused, but didn't dare protest. I was just a guest in
this house.
Early in the morning,
the house is already busy. The ducks are fussing in the coop. They are not herded by
adults, but by the children who take turns skipping school to herd the
the ducks to the empty rice fields after the harvest. I went along. I didn't know what to do,
so I just walked along, carrying a small bucket to fetch water or clean the mud.
or to clean up the mud.
During the day
in the rice fields was extremely hot. But they all looked normal. When the ducks
began to spread out in search of food, the children ran to the river.
"Sari, come
take a bath!" exclaimed Mas Adi as he took off his shirt.
I hesitated.
But they were all naked not because it was rude, but because they were not yet
big enough and that's how the village kids are. I was just following along. And
after taking off all my clothes I went down to the river.
The river was
wide and looked calm. I couldn't swim yet, but I was curious.
I
splash... and misstep.
My feet didn't
touch the bottom, and I panic. The water swallowed me, cold and heavy. I tried to
scream, but the water entered my mouth. The world was suddenly silent. I felt like I was
being pulled to the bottom of the earth.
Then,
someone suddenly embraced me. A warm embrace brought me up. My breath
came back, although it was labored. Mas Adi pulls me to the edge to hold on to a large
boulder, then grabbed my shoulders.
"Why
dive in if you can't swim?" he said softly.
I
cried. Not out of fear, but out of shame. I wanted to look strong, but
but instead almost drowned.
"Next time,
tell me first. Don't be shy," Mas Adi continued
During
the rescue, I felt something sticking to my ass. It felt like
wood but it didn't hurt and it even felt soft in my butt crack when Mas Adi
held me tightly in his arms.
More and more
it hardened as it rubbed against my ass crack.
my ass.
I was curious
I was afraid it was a fish or something, so I tried to grasp the thing rubbing against my ass crack.
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Mas Adi
had forbidden me, afraid of being carried away by the current he said, but then he turned me around to face him.
my position so I was facing him and carried me slowly to a place where the water was calm.
where the water flowed calmly.
When we were in the part that was neck deep
and the flow was calm, Mas Adi told me to move back and forth while I was told to grasp the bulge.
was told to grasp the bulge that had been rubbing against my ass and was now located
at the bottom of my stomach, I obeyed and when I squeezed it and wanted to
pull it out it was like sticky I tried to lower it and pull it out again but I couldn't.
can't
"Mas this
What's so hard but I can't pull it out?" I asked in surprise and when I looked at Adi's face, I realized that he was enjoying himself.
Mas Adi's look of pleasure. Not long afterward he moaned a little and suddenly
I felt a snot-like liquid coming out of the water. The object that I squeezed
earlier felt smaller I was surprised and
asked again
"Mas this
What the hell? How did it get so small?" Mas Adi just smiled and said thank you for making me feel good.
It's nice to have an obedient little sister like me, then he stroked
My head made me feel happy to feel loved so much.
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