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The first appearance in Malaysia was captivating to me. There was so much to be seen and heard with the colorful street markets, the scent of grilling satay in every corner, and the melody of different languages harmonizing into their own beat.
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However, between the time I admired temples and gorged on nasi lemak, I too committed a couple of cultural fumbles that taught me that learning about the etiquette of the locals would come in very useful.
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Luckily, the trip had started smoothly, thanks to Luton airport cheap parking, which made the airport experience stress-free and gave me the headspace to focus on the journey ahead.
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The Malaysian state has rich traditions of both the Malay, Chinese, and Indian cultures. Its people are extremely warm and forgiving, and being versed in how to do it with respect and dignity will get you more smiles, easier experiences and even a local tip or treat here and there.
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This is what I wished I received earlier when I turned up in flip-flops at a mosque door (yep, I did that).
Do: Be Respectful in greetings
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Malaysians are polite and soft-spoken people and the same is reflected in greetings. A straightforward greeting such as hello or hi is sufficient although there are more ways to blow someone away, salam or salam sejahtera with a slight nod.
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Meet people older or in a formal situation with a light shake. To Muslims, especially the women, a smile and slight nod is more suitable unless the latter offers a hand.
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At one point I attempted to engage an old Malay man in a deep Western-style handshake. He was slightly startled, assented with a nod, and I afterwards discovered that a slight bow and hand-over-heart would have been much more to the point.
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Note: Always check cheap Heathrow airport parking and book according to your needs.
Dont: Finger Pointing
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It is a minor but significant one. In Malaysia, it is impolite to use the index finger when pointing. When pointing something, use your finger instead of your whole hand or thumb, or pointing in directions.
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When I initially requested directions to a food stand, I would point, and the vendor had to gently push my hand down. Lesson learned. It is the small details that count.
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Do: Eat Right Handed
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The right hand is used to eat, pass food or give money in traditional places, especially Malay and Indian restaurants. The left hand is regarded as unclean (hygiene), therefore, do not put it in the rice bowl.
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I recall how I frantically attempted to use my right hand to scoop rice at a nasi campur stall by the roadside and could not drop anything. One of the local women smiled, gave me a spoon and said, “We understand that tourists do their best, we do not mind.” That single sentence made me feel welcome and inspired to know more.
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Dont: Public Display of Affection
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Malaysia is broadly conservative and although it is fine to hold hands in most places, it is not so good to kiss or hug in a crowded place and especially couples.
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You will not be arrested but you will surely attract glances or even derisive glances, most especially in the countryside or in places of worship. Romance should be kept out of the public domain.
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Dont: Wear Modest Clothes in Sacred Places
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Going to temples, mosques or shrines? Wrap up your shoulders and knees. Take a scarf or sarong. It is light and easy to carry.
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In Langkawi, I approached a mosque wearing shorts, and was politely told to wait outside. I was not offended but only a bit unprepared. The people of the place were polite and I loved the polite correction.
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Malaysia made me understand that traveling is not about going to a place but how to be in a place. And although the people are very understanding of tourist gaffes, to take the trouble to learn and adhere to the local etiquette is to show respect and gain it back.
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In case of a doubt, look at what people in that country are doing and imitate them. And when you screw up, fess up like I did with that hand shake, the shoes and yes the head-patting moment.
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