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I woke up at the sound of my alarm.
Took a shower.
Got ready for school.
I debated for some time if I should wake Crystal up before I go. And decided not to. I went to the kitchen and made my breakfast. Mrs. Devila was busy making breakfast for herself and her dear daughter. Mr. Devila was also busy making breakfast. He was also making a salad for his daughter. For 2 seconds, it came to my mind if the salad was for me…….well, even after years of these I couldn’t get myself used to all of these. I finished my breakfast in silent. Mr. and Mrs. Devila was also quiet. I got that they surely had a fight. Well, even if they didn’t have a fight, they surely won’t have the time to chit-chat with me….
why would they…..
“Asteria, why didn’t you wake you sister? She is going to be late!” Mrs. Devila told me as she was heading to the stairs.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUKB17ODBY
“Did you forget about your responsibility as an elder sister just because we didn’t pay attention to Crystals? I told you not to hold grudges! Can you pay some more attention to your sick little sister? How can you be so selfish?? ” Mr. Devila yelled at me while making the 2nd bowl of salad with much more care than vegetables.
I wanted to scream at him that their dear daughter is not little baby anymore! She is not sick! I am NOT her babysitter!
I DO NOT GET ENOUGH TO PUT UP WITH THEIR PLAY!!
But…..of course I didn’t…….19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvaNehgXfx
How will I say anything? Here I am the criminal……..The selfish irresponsible sister who doesn’t even take care of her little sister……
No matter what I say it will only come out as rude, irresponsible, selfish, garbage, mannerless……
But now I am staying quite; it only means one thing….19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76tdCOHMP5
“LOOK AT YOU WORTHLESS BASTARD! Ignoring me?! I am you father?! How dare you ignore when I am talking with you!!! I am only saying this to make you a better self of your than you are now! How can you be-” He couldn’t finish his sentence as his precious daughter came.
My poor father…couldn’t even vent his anger properly….19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe96SQh09L
There’s no way he can yell in front of his dear daughter. She will be scared!19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDvJ04nJZ5
I left the table silently. As I was walking out of the main door I could hear Mrs. Devila asking her if she should feed Crystal…..if she had a good night sleep or not….. Mr. Devila was asking if she liked the salad or wanted to eat anything else.
I knew I was not part of anything here. So, as I know my place I was leaving.
They never even bothered to make my breakfast, lunch or dinner when I was a little kid…….for the past 14 years…..I have never heard them asking if I am okay or not even if I am dying from a fever……but now….look at them…..
I hit my head. Why this darn good for nothing brain keeps thinking like this even when it knows they are too far to even call a dream….?!
Never in a million year I would think that I will hear my name in this pleasant moment of their family…….
Unless……19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExpWbcIlfE
“Asteria! Did you have your breakfast?” Crystals asked me.
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I was of course not prepared for that question. I thought I misheard it. I halt for a moment. And focused on putting my shoes again. But to prove me wrong Crystals called for me again, “Asteria, do you want to eat with me? Since you don’t eat that much for your breakfast your body will be weak. Come eat with me.”
I thought if I was day-dreaming again for a minute. No, I wasn’t.
My good-for-nothing brain worked on my favor for once and sent me that signal that…….it was not concern or anything…..it is called…pity…
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And Mrs. Devila proved it to me, “Darling, you don’t need to worry about her. Just eat your breakfast. She already had her. You will be late for school if you wait for that girl.” I got that I wasn’t mistaken once I heard Mrs. Devila’s reply to Crystal’s act. Mr. Devila also took part on that play, “She can take care of her. She is 19 now! She is not little anymore!”
Yeah, you might say that it’s rude for me to tell her kind request an act. It may seem like a kind request from your younger sister to anyone but not for me at least. 19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchiUz5RWSx
I ignored their conversation and went out for school. At school, as usual nothing exceptional happened it’s not like I was even excepting something. It’s always been that’s way.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkvKZRnMfq
“Hey! Asteria right?” An unfamiliar voice I heard while I was cleaning up our lab tables as I was in duty. I didn’t answer to that one cause of course there’s no chance that someone will know my name let alone calling me. But the voice reached out to me again, “So, you are Asteria.”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ARFqn5dNo
This time I looked behind. “May I know why you are looking for me?” It felt so strange to talk. Has it been 2 years since I talked that many word at the same time?19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx7V4W954m
“Oh! So, you can talk.” I sensed the sarcastic voice from a girl with red hair and 2 ponytails. “I am not someone to beat around the bush so I will just come straight to the point. Have you seen Crystals? Your sister I meant.” A girl with high bun besides her hit her and said, “C’mon she knows her sister’s name” I could see that the red hair girl was not going to let me go that easily. “Well, judging by the look on her face, her fashion sense, friend circles….it doesn’t look like she even remembers her parent’s face. Oops! Sorry, Did I just say ‘friend circle’? Sorry again, I actually said it meant to give you a sense of reality that you have no friend’s bamboo stick.” She flicked at my forehead as I stand straight with my head low.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fZpAwvxK8
How dare she do this? She has no right to look down on me or flick my forehead. It’s true that I have no friends but it’s better to not have friends than have a friend like her! It’s true that I talk less, I am the least extrovert anyone can be but that doesn’t mean they can be mean to me! Am I just a thing for everyone to fight over? They don’t know me! They have no right to be like this with me!!19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYcHmALjlM
I wanted to shout all these…..It felt like these words will eat myself if I don’t let them out of myself. But…..I am as coward outside as much as I am brave inside. Well, am I brave inside? I don’t know. I just know that I can’t take it anymore. But, still I can’t do anything. I have given up a long before. Has it been 2 years already?19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLDnwyMiti
Instead of shouting all these things I just managed to say one sentence, “Crystal is probably in her language class.” I got out from the class.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1xDWCJY51
I thought I have become stronger from all these things. But I guess I did not….
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This is not my fault that I still wish for something more. Every child would have wanted these……..don’t worry my Mummy-Daddy I still love you guys. Even after all these……
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I straight went to my room after coming back from school. Crystals came to the room once and tried to talk with me about her friends and how the teachers love her blah blah…I don’t give a ear to these kind of nonsenses. I was reading a book called ‘Imaginary Friends’ by Stephen Chbosky.
My eyes were drawing to each other; I tried hard to not sleep but I guess I did fell asleep. When I woke up a girl with long black hair was sitting beside me.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kqECGiC1W
I thought maybe I was just seeing things. I looked at my phone and it was already 1: 30 at night. I guess nobody called me for dinner. Well, it’s not like I even expected them to call me. I will only ruin their beautiful family dinner time.
I go straight to the kitchen and made a sandwich and milkshake. I finished my dinner with the lights off. Though, I just woke up from sleep; I was still sleepy. But I was not feeling like sleeping.
I go to my room and get out by the window to sit on the rooftop room. It is maybe the best place ever. I can see sooo may stars from here. A crescent moon is playing hide-and-seek with the clouds. The rooftop room is half covered and half balcony.
This room was designed by Mr. Devila. He made it specially for his eldest daughter. Mr and Mrs Devila and their eldest daughter styled this room together. She was 5 year 7 month and 29 days at that time. That time when they first bought this house.
I remember that I laid down to see the stars. I don’t know which universe I am in right now. Oh! I know. I am not in the human world anymore right now. I am in my world. It feels more relaxed. Finally, I can be myself.
I was in my zone and then she came along.
“Asteeeeeeeer” The voice that’s screaming my name belongs to someone who never has come to me because of any benefits of their own.
No, this voice is not my sister, friend or neighbor’s. This is the voice of Aether. The only one who listens to me. And do not complain.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL026IUehwn
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“What happened? Your face is screaming that ‘I AM IN A BAD MOOD’” Aether asked as she lay down beside me.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLVZAbMcYv
“Crystals asked me to join for breakfast today. Some girl came and talked with me. Though they wanted to talk about Crystals but…..they talked with me!” I tried my best to hold back them.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNr4zp1B4rD
“Hmm, how long has it been? 2 years? Did she hit her head? Or did she lose her memories? What does she want?”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpklROLdm5
“How would I know? I am just happy. I know it’s nothing to be happy about. But what if she actually meant it? Will those girls talk with me someday again? Even if it is about Crystals. I want to talk with them. I…..”19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIm5pRJUoTr
“You know, I never intend to hurt you. But I have to tell you this….I told you that you should do and think as you want….but if someone keeps hurting you then…….. why gets your hopes up? You know it’s never going to happen……they are not going to be sincere cz they are not someone who deserve a good girl like you….” Aether’s voice shaken up…….her voice takes me to reality. No, these things that I am wanting….is too expensive for me. That’s not happening.
“Sorry. I don’t need them to talk with me. I have you and……my grandma. I just don’t know why but still I just can’t get used to it. I know I will never have this…. ”
“C’mon! Your grandma will be upset if you think like this…..You have your grandma and…….me, right?
I looked up at sky. I can clearly see grandma being hurt.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMStUro4De
“Grandma, are you hurt? Don’t be! I am happy! Do you know how fun it is to be alone? And I have Aether. I am talking with her, aren’t I? Now give me a smile!” I also gave grandma a smile. I saw her shining brightly in the sky.19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPITR0lMXw9
Aether told me my grandma is the star that shines brightly in the sky. She told me if I am happy the star will shine even more brightly.
“Aether, I…….miss her. Grandma, Aether told me you shine brightly cause you are happy. I want to shine bright too.” Drops of hot water came trickling down from my right eye to my ear.
“Ooh! Little baby you are, aren’t you? You will also shine brightly one day. No worries. You know what, you will shine 10 times brighter than any star in the sky. But at first, let’s make you shine in this world”
“I am not going to shine. Sorry to disappoint you. Aether, I am such a useless thing, right?” My confident level about me has always been this high…
“Shh, do not say anything like this. You know, your grandma is going to be sad.” Aether tried to comfort me. And guess what? I was comforted. What takes to comfort someone? What do you think?
You got to take some expensive gifts? Tell some motivational lines? Cry with her? Laugh it away as a joke?
No, just stay.
Crystals went to her world after star-gazing with me for sometimes.
Her world? Yes, her world.
2 years ago, the only person who ever valued me, my grandma left me alone in this world; which was not my own.
I was too young to live in this unknown world alone. I was too neglected, afraid, timid to live in this world.
I wouldn’t have survived if it was not for Aether.
She showed me my world. Yeah, slowly slowly my unconscious mind who wanted to live so badly created it’s own world.
My comfort character Aether. She was the first to made me realize that I am just being delusional. She just showed me the real world is crueler than I think it is. But also thanks to her, I am living fine without any real family, friends or something.
Since my sister was born my parents were always blinded by love for her. She was born weak. She was sick for a long time because of her heart surgery that happened when she was really little. My grandma used to babysit me at that time. I was a little girl. When I thought my parents are abandoning me. They don’t love me anymore. My grandma used to always comfort me. She used to tell me stories, she taught me how to read, how to write. She is the one who was my comfort person.
The more I got older the more I understood that I was not in my parent’s list anymore as their daughter. But as the care taker of their second daughter. They didn’t care who did it wrong or who did it right. The only this in their dictionary was that……I am bullying their dear little weak girl. They will shout at me for not preparing her lunch but never even asked me if I had lunch or not. THEY WILL SCREAM AT ME FOR THEIR DAUGHTER NOT TAKING MEDICINE PROPERLY BUT I WAS DYING AT THAT TIME!
And then Aether came through my window. Took care of me. It sounds absurd, right? So, what? I don’t care if it is the real world or not at least they are not sympathizing me like someone who calls herself my sister!
Crystals has always been sympathizing me. She has always show me pity. Excuse me. I may be broken from this world. But who told her to pity me? Though they do not act like my parents but still I don’t need pitying for this!!!
I NEED COMFORT!
I need someone to understand me.
I need someone to talk with me….
I need someone to listen my complains, trash…….
Why is it so expensive for me?
Aether was the one I was able to express all. She was there to listen to me when everyone was deaf for me! No one was here when I was breaking down.
No one is still here…..
I went to bed after Aether went back. I guess I wanted to be alone that’s why I made her go home.
She is my imagination after all……
It hurts when I refer her like that, right?
I wonder if she will cry when I die…..noo…..will she die if I die?
No, it can’t happen…it shouldn’t happen. She is a very good girl. She doesn’t deserve to die cause of someone useless like me……..
I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
I am……..really sorry.
If only you were someone’s comfort character who would live a long life…..Something like this wouldn’t have happened……
I am sorry Aether.
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This is what my sister’s last wish?
“Don’t you dare call her your sister!” A voice hit me from back of my head.
Well, she is not wrong though….How daring of me to call her my sister after treating her like garbage all this time….
What was I even expecting? Even her last moment of life?
“Selfish. You are way worse than your parents.” That same voice again….
I KNOW! I know….I am worser than my parents.
Of course she will give her last moment of life to the one who stayed by her side; doesn’t matter if she was real or imaginary……
Why would someone give their last moment to someone who looked down on her till the very last moment of her life?
Why would she waste her precious time to a useless sister who she can’t even call ‘sister’?
Aester…….my…..dear sis
“DON’T YOU DARE! You neglected her for whole life; now she became your dear sis?!”
SHUT UP! AGH! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
AETHER, ANSWER ME!
“To see you suffer.” Aether whispered in my head.
Well, that’s reasonable….she is not my comfort character who will whisper words of comfort in my ear….
I thought I would be able to take all the suffering since I deserve all this. But it’s painful! I hate this voice in my head!!
She was not supposed to be here!!
“Well, I am supposed to be here. Since you are the one who recall me every single time you feel guilty towards your sister. You are the one who is bringing the pain towards you….and this is what you deserve….”
Aether’s voice ringed in my brain again….
November 27, which was supposed to be a great day for me; turned out to be my worst nightmare.
That day was my 20th birthday. I was going be free from being a teenager….
But the morning started with me finding out Asteria saying goodbye to this world in silent. She was suffering from great mental problems. She knew that she was going to die soon.
But….she never told us anything…..
“How could you except her to say something to you guys after what you have done to her for years”
Yup, she is not wrong. At least, I won’t be able to do if was her.
Even the moment of how my mother found out she is no more add tons of more guiltiness……
Our parents went to call her to finish my leftover as I didn’t feel like eating and I didn’t like the idea of wasting food…..
Woah…….how fascinating……
But what hurts most is….they still do not recognize their daughter.
THEY ARE STILL CURSING THAT DEAD GIRL CAUSE OF MY ANXIETY!!!
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I know, there’s no place for me to say this but…..they should not….they are the one who gave birth to her after all!
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Aether, I thought I had the life I wanted…..but at the end…..I am the one who lead the worst life….
I know it means nothing now……..but……..I am sorry Aesteria.
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You know what they say?
“You only miss the sun when it’s starts to snow. Only know you love her when you let her go..…”
But Asteria and Crystals’s parents are that kind of person who never going to get that they are wrong even if it’s snowing or…..she is gone…..
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I may have been Asteria’s comfort character.
And
I may be now Crystal’s nightmare……
(Wondering how am I still alive when Asteria’s dead?)
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The guiltiness Crystalsl has towards Asteria has brought me back to life…but this time I am not a comfort character but her nightmare….
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All people doesn’t have me as their comfort character.(or you can use ‘deserve’)
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As I was a comfort character for Asteria I am a nightmare for Crystals.
Asteria thought of me till the end of her life, Chrystel will too have me besides her death bed but as a creature she wants to get ridden of.
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As much as I resent her for doing everything, she has done to Asteria; I am not here on my own wish.
Chrystel called me.
Emotions calls me.
The one who is desperately looking for comfort ; I am here for her. Why should I care if I am just an imagination or emotion? (or whatever I am)
She needs me I will be there for her…..
But the one who is lost in the sea of guiltiness will have me as their nightmare….
But it’s not that I am only in the side of justice…..
Those addicted to crimes also have someone like me to encourage them….umm….if you call them Aether you are wrong….
They are Adaliah.
Dark smoke.
Eating the good sides of people.
I hate to say this but it’s not entirely their fault. They are also called by crimes. Just like those around Mr. and Mrs. Devila. They also have their own characters.
But they do not have Aether or Nightmare; they have Adaliah.
The cursed friendship started with them cornering their eldest daughter just because their little one was sick….and slowly slowly Adaliah became their best friend.
The fun fact is before I came Adaliah once came to Asteria and Crystals.
Asteria the little girl used to cry every night and resent her little sister. At that time Adaliah tried so hard to win her but fortunately Asteria’s grandma was there for her….No matter what; all human-beings needs ‘someone living’ to have as their comfort character instead of imagination…..
Crystal’s matter is easy. She was so full on herself that Adaliah didn’t have to suffer to have her.
But after her reading her sister’s last writing.
Her unconscious mind called the Nightmare.
Some people realize they have been high when they hit the low……Crystal is that someone. On the other hand, some never give a pinch of interest to that they have been high………just like Mr. and Mrs. Devila.
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Some needs the light when it’s burning low, some never wish for the light for their dignity, pride, selfishness………or for Adaliah.
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What did Asteria’s grandma had?
Aether the comfort character, Aether the nightmare or Adaliah?
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[COMPLETE]
MBTI of characters
Asteria- INFP
Crystal- ESFP
Aether- She's not a human but I will see if I can make her take the test :) Wish me luck ;)
Nightmare- If Aether takes it; then it will be easy to pursued Nightmare also :D
Adaliah- I don't like her. So, I will not even try to pursue her.......if u really want then.....GIVE UP! -_-19Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrmHYAJtYO
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