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強迫症_Obsessive Compulsive_上集
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[我不是怪物，只是比較有遠見。]
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我，患有強迫症。
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一種會讓人有多餘且重複的想法、感受、點子或行為的焦慮症。
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換句話說，我的人生像是有系統的模式，但昨天，我的系統裡出現了瑕疵。
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1091Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCtb9pNW5r
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哦，對了我是一位和同性伴侶同居的夜班經理，在白天只是一名普通的上班族，我的名字是金泰亨。
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我的愛人是田柾國。
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在我湖畔旁的家，我準時的在早上六點四十五分起床，並不吵醒我身旁的男人，就像是每一個平常的早晨。
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前幾天我們大吵了一頓，但我們不會因此分開，最少只是推倒一些東西罷了。
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我們很相愛。
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在離開房間之前，我確保自己觸碰了三次門把，利恩依然在睡夢中。
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我需要那麼做，我必須那麼做。
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在我下樓的過程我確保不踩上倒數第二個階梯，我從來都沒踏上過，但依然很乾淨。
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我就是無法。
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我做了平常的早餐，有土司、炒蛋、黑咖啡，我簡單的幫我的愛人做了夾心土司，並替他加熱牛奶。
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我每天都會那麼做，但他最近連一口都不喝了，土司也不吃。
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我從來沒有吃過其他東西當早餐，永遠只有這三樣。
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我打開我的iPad，我確保我檢查了當地的新聞頭條，像平常一樣。
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但，今天有什麼東西，被漏掉了，我也不知道哪裡出了問題。
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我忘了什麼嗎？
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走去開車的路上這奇怪的感覺縈繞不去，在離開前門之時，我確認我鎖上了門，打開它、然後再鎖上一次。
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柾國還沒下樓，我猜他還沒醒吧。
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開車去工作的路上，我，不禁覺得自己有某部分似乎遺失了。
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我漏掉了什麼？我怎麼可能會漏掉它？
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1091Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaN4SwvDyg
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我希望那感覺可以被工作覆蓋，然而它並沒有，它糾纏我整整十二個小時。
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我在下午六點四十五分離開辦公室，準備回家，再前往酒店。
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差不多在二十分左右的通勤後，因為紅燈在Marbury和Westway的十字路口停下。
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然而當號誌變色時，我忍不住再次被那奇怪的感覺纏身。
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除了開在我後面的陌生男人之外沒有別人了，他按了幾聲喇叭要我前進。
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但，與其乖乖地加速，我選擇搖下車窗示意要他超車。
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他照做了。
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而我只是沮喪地坐在車內，仍舊靜止在那十字路口。
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有什麼平衡被嚴重的打破了，我到底漏掉了什麼？
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我觸碰車子上所有的地方，祈禱這能夠幫助我想起什麼。
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我撫過我的儀表板、緊急煞車、皮製座椅，甚至是車頂。
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一點用都沒有。
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慢慢的駛離路口，我的手顫抖著。
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事情不該是這樣的，而我不喜歡這樣。
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到家後，我將我的74Mustang停進車庫，我只會在平日洗車，從來不在週末。
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我永遠只洗車頭還有車尾，永遠不洗側邊，不管它變得多髒，我永遠不洗側邊。
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我就是無法。
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但在我洗車的時候，似乎又有什麼常規被我漏掉了。
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不，別又來了。
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先是早上的頭條，然後是十字路口，現在連洗車也是？
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我得趕緊，我得在八點四十五分到達酒店。
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