The library was quiet as usual, and Yukari couldn’t be more mad.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwEqL1ceOk
Exams were looming over everyone. Or maybe just her since no one was here studying. No groaning over a difficult question, no asking friends for help, not even distracted chatter about the latest meme. It was just her and the librarian.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0wK1NE5t3
Yukari brought a chunky book to the back of the room and rang the bell. She would wonder how anyone could hear its tiny tinkle, but then she remembered that no one was here to drown out the sound with inane conversation.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw51Lw7Bg3W
The room was so quiet that the next sound almost caused Yukari to drop her book. In the room behind the librarian’s desk, dozens of books thudded the ground. Yukari heard a squeak of pain.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRkmqL01dh
A moment later, a woman who barely looked older than Yukari opened the door and made her way to the desk, straightening her uniform and wiping the books’ dust off her shoulders. Her blonde, almost pink hair was so long that Yukari could only see a part of it as the rest of it disappeared behind the desk. Her smile was small but somehow dimples were visible on her chubby cheeks. Despite those cheeks, the rest of her body was so thin she seemed more like a wisp of light than a real person grounded in this reality. Her unbelievably pale skin added to this impression. Her big eyes were the colour of harvestbells and the more Yukari described this girl in her head, the more she realised that she was standing there staring at this person she was 55% sure didn’t really exist.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZncQRAOk9
“Sorry for the wait. Are you looking to borrow a book?” 766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaXNVEjbqa
Maybe she did exist.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVor6CGpGe
The woman’s voice caressed Yukari’s ears. The library was designed specifically not to echo and yet the woman’s voice seemed to echo on its own. It was high-pitched, but less in a nasal way and more in an operatic way, though even in this empty room it didn’t sound loud enough to fill a theatre.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUGy9VcLug
Yukari gulped and looked down. “Uh, I was actually wondering if you had any recommendations. I’m looking for a novel similar to this one.” She raised her head. “I’m still doing school work, I swear! I won’t read it until after exams are done.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dE75t0DUy
The woman’s giggles embraced Yukari. “It’s okay. I won’t judge.” The woman’s eyes somehow managed to grow even wider. “Oh, and, uh, I’m kind of new here. First day. I don’t really know enough of what’s here to make any recommendations.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzF9YJp1Xz
“Oh, um…. I guess I’ll just...” Yukari said, throwing the book in the returns box and galloping away.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3R7cg2CgdE
“Wait!” The woman called out. Yukari did as she commanded. “Um, what did you like about this book? I could recommend something I’ve read and see if it’s here.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOMH2EswVt
Yukari’s cheeks changed from the paleness of ghosts to the bright shade of poppies. “It was… a strange book. It was about a Japanese woman meeting an Australian florist during World War One. I… I’m not gay or anything, but I was wondering if there were any other books about a romance between two women. You don’t see that too often, so it stood out.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhR5ud7g9PC
The woman grinned. “You’ve come to the right person! I’ve got loads of books like that in my collection.” Yukari clenched her teeth to stop her jaw from dropping. “Do you want to read another historical lesbian romance or a lesbian romance about flowers or maybe just a regular modern lesbian romance?”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjTPaF8AFG
It took Yukari a moment to process what she was asking as the frequent casual use of the word ‘lesbian’ threw her off.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEdhpqw4C8
“Oh, uh, I don’t mind.” 766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesETaaIbUr
The librarian leaned over her desk to get a good look at Yukari. “Hmmm…. I think ‘Rentica’ by Ikamusume Hunter would be a good fit for you.” She typed into her computer and frowned. “... and it’s not here. Sorry. Oh, um…” She lowered the volume of her voice despite no one else being there. “You could always borrow it from me. Come here after exams are done and I’ll lend it to you.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvm0gfMQ3lp
Yukari nodded. “Thank you, miss…”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32tliMDzKW
The woman laughed. “You can call me IA.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4nGwYwkn8
When Yukari headed back to the table she was studying at, she heard a beep on her phone and saw a message.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViY2XL3txF
Hey babe, wanna hang out tonight ;) - Roro row your boat766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTOLFyG1PJ
Yukari smiled. Roro still hadn’t changed that punny text signature even after his grades in English started slipping. She remembered the adorably awkward time he tried to explain the joke to her in Japanese.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl23rlhSfJZ
Her smile dropped when she looked back at IA, who was struggling to keep the pile of books in her arms balanced kept dropping them.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjH5EmDMNk
Yukari passed all of her exams, though just barely in home ec. She headed to the library after getting her marks back.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0kikCbZQa
IA chuckled and rubbed the back of her neck. “I forgot to bring it. I guess I should have been more specific about which date you should have come here. Would you be able to wait until the library closes? We can head back to my place and I can give it to you there.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqalVEs3LW
Yukari’s cheeks reddened. “Is that allowed?”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUE6bIe6BS
IA tilted her head to the side like a dog failing to understand a command. “Why wouldn’t it be?”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphkIL9v5jP
Yukari grinned her concern away. 766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKBa5ngFX5
After IA locked the library entrance, she led Yukari to her old car with bits of paint missing. Yukari pushed the take away boxes off her seat. 766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLJeoKnHQP
IA smirked at the wheel and sped to their destination. Yukari had to hold onto the door to keep herself from accidentally ramming into it. 766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IuIqJCN5x
IA’s house was a tiny apartment with piles of books on the floor. She somehow knew where everything was and found ‘Rentica’ with ease. It was a thin book with a ghost silhouette filled with a floral pattern on the cover.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uAo1vx93t
“It’s a romance between a working woman and a strange woman she thinks might be a ghost but doesn’t know for certain. Enjoy.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nE2S7WzUK
“T-thank you. So, um, I’m sorry if this is rude, but I didn’t expect you to have a car like that.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RR8boO3UV
“Oh, I like to save money wherever I can. Books don’t grow on trees. Well, actually they technically do, but not direct…. Anyway, I hope you like the book. Do you need me to drive you home?”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0D9p5aUt7
Yukari shook her head. “My boyfriend lives near here.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZ3LGjxu1I
IA had an expression Yukari never imagined seeing on her. Her smile was still there, but it was smaller and didn’t show her teeth. The outer corners of her eyes were creased and her eyebrows were furrowed. 766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmdND2iEAb
“Oh. Of course. I, uh, hope things go well with him.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZNn742b7l
Silence followed. Yukari froze for a moment, then bowed and left without saying a word.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdUWwBjWcv
She rang Roro’s doorbell and when he didn’t open the door, she kept pressing the buzzer over and over again.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26md4zOM17
When he finally opened it, and he only partially opened it, Yukari giggled. He was wearing pyjamas that were way too big for him and his cotton candy hair was a mess.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzzsv6iFE2
“Good morning,” she said with a smirk.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9NkelDePl
Roro glared at her. “You saw me at school today.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHg8EyZ2o1y
“So, uh, can I hang out for a bit?”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhY7O3JYYkY
The boy looked behind him. “I don’t know if this is a great time. I’m kinda watching a show and it’s getting really good. You can watch it with me if you want, but it’s near the end so you might be a tad confused.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡareSjXBDeL
“It’s okay. I’ve got a book I can read.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR19c756eDO
“You came all the way here to read a book?”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNUQAcxJgn
Yukari chuckled. “I was already doing something near here and thought I’d drop by.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDsgQct2ph
Roro opened the door wider. “Okay, I guess.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIjARDTh43
When they got to the living room, Roro sat down on the couch and Yukari sat on a beanbag. For the first few pages of the book she kept getting distracted by the dialogue on the show, but after that she was hooked.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiJn9DsM8h
She started to pick up on a few similarities between the characters and her and IA. The ghostlike girl had a similar physical description to what IA looked like and was incredibly friendly. The main character didn’t look like Yukari but had the same love of books. She was also a little shy, spending a good chunk of the story trying to muster the courage to talk to the other woman.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9fCEdMolf
The writing was simple and Yukari managed to get through half of it before Roro finished his show. In fact, it just stopped after she reached the book couple’s first kiss.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTtxfUzpTW
Roro slid down the couch and sat next to Yukari, kissing her on the cheek. She turned her head and kissed him on the lips.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPWLe3fzxM
Soon enough tongue was added and both people’s breaths became louder. 766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZS4z8tviq
Something strange happened. After a while, Yukari forgot who she was kissing and thought about the kiss scene in the book. 766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaH9p9ShJ2g
For a while she felt as if she was kissing a blonde woman with pale skin.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanhdCVKDn9
When she returned to reality, she pushed Roro away. Her head was spinning and her breaths quickened almost to the point of hyperventilation. 766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtF9bvwxxT
She covered her mouth, trying to push the image of IA out of her head. She silently swore. She was familiar with these heart palpitations. They were the same as when she first started having feelings for Roro.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRnEIjO8GJ
“Um, I… I have to go.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXEqbMxa3b
“Why? Did I do something wrong?”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrE1LNJ0WhZ
Yukari shook her head. “I’ll see you at school.”766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDHSTmfQl0
She ran out of the house with her book. She raced home on foot despite knowing the long distance ahead of her.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6G1yhuk8vD
‘I’m not a lesbian. I’m not a lesbian! I like Roro! What the hell’s wrong with me?’766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDYBxfALrO
When she finally reached home, she jumped on her laptop and searched, ‘how to know if lesbian’. She found a lot of stories that didn’t fit her own. Most of the girls online had always felt different but couldn’t put their finger on why. They told stories about having a boyfriend they felt nothing towards. And some of them said they had crushes on female celebrities and classmates when they were as young as eight years old.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40HJYpXnmB
However, one person’s advice struck a chord. ‘If you’re questioning your sexuality, you might not be gay. Consider the other labels out there, such as bisexual, asexual and pansexual.’766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfpfq3TlNq
Such as bisexual, asexual and pansexual.
Such as bisexual.
Bisexual.
Yukari’s entire body shook. She didn’t even need to look into the other sexualities, although a tiny logical part of her thought she should. She found the word and that word made tears fall down her cheeks.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXp9kYdKTYp
She pictured her parents towering over her, shaking their heads before disappearing. She imagined Roro crying. She could see her female classmates shuffling their chairs a few inches further away.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6XHA8FyTh
However, after a few seconds of sobbing she smiled. She felt as if she had been welcomed into a club. This weird girl crush may have been just that- a crush, and given her pre-existing relationship a forbidden one- but a discovery about herself was still a discovery. She felt like she had stumbled upon a book in an entirely new genre.766Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpW06PmdUa
Yukari opened her book from where she was up to and read the rest of the story, kicking everyone from Roro and her other classmates to her parents out of her mind. It was just her and the ghostlike librarian.
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