It is dark. I reach out around me. It is nothingness. It is always nothingness. I drop to my knees and start to cry. Warm liquid pours from my eyes. A light shines down on a mirror placed directly in front of me. I look at the reflection. I haven't been crying tears. I dig my nails against my cheeks wet with the blood of the hundreds I've killed.
I shoot up in bed. My phone is playing an annoying tune that has become my signal to wake up. I angrily shut it off and rub my face, feeling for the sticky blood. Just another dream. I flip off the part of the comforter that is still covering my body and roll out of bed, literally. My mattress is still on the floor from when I decided I didn't like my bed frame anymore. I crawl across the dirty carpet to the black wire cage with a blue base. I flip open the little door and Bun's fuzzy black nose rubs against mine.
"I've never killed anyone," I whisper to the little soot colored bunny as he pushes on my hand telling me to keep scratching his nose.
"Circe! Let's go!" My dad yells at me from the bottom of the stairs. I let out a frustrated breath and throw myself backwards into the pile of clothes covering my floor. I don't want to go to school. Like a monkey I use my bare feet to recluse the little door before pushing myself up and scooping out a handful of food for the eager little bun. He lets me kiss him on the top of the head before I clamber sleepily down the stairs.
Fast-forward thirty minutes and I am pushing my white-framed sunglasses up the bridge of my nose. The ignition roars to life as my car begins graciously beeping as loudly and obnoxiously as possible to warn me I have yet to buckle my seat belt. I pull the belt across my chest as I shift into gear and drive away. Its a quick ride to my local high school where I pull into the centrally located senior/junior parking. I push open the heavy door to my old, new to me, used car. I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder. Cricket must have seen me pull in because she is leaning on my car when I look up.
"Hey," she sighs.
"Hi," I reply sounding more apathetic than her. I push the door closed and lean up against the car with her.
"Did you have another dream last night?" she says as she lifts her foot to inspect the newly painted toenails protruding from her flip-flops.
"Yeah, they just keep getting creepier," I push my sunglasses up to rub my eyes, thinking about all the time I've spent with Cricket. She has been my best friend since first grade. Ten years later here we are at the end of our junior year. All our lives we have dreamt of a life different from the ones we are living. Both of us have spent more hours dreaming up better places and new adventures then almost anything else. I look at her sideways shielding my face from the bright New England sun. She has her straight, black hair tied up in a braid that runs down the back of her head and flips over her shoulder. Stray pieces of hair around her face give the braid a naturally messy look. I watch her green eyes flick across the football field we are overlooking.
"Do you think they could mean something?" she asks like she wants the dreams to mean something.
"At this point, no. If you asked me when I was ten and I still believed our pet dragons were on their way, then I would've said yes," I fold my arms. We are both running out of positive views on our world. Not even our imaginary worlds are fulfilling us any longer. The tragedy in our lives seems to swallow any creative energy we have left and twists it into something dark. Something that isn't us.
"The fuck?" Cricket cries out as a black mustang speeds into the parking lot going like 75mph. It speeds past us disappearing behind the far brick building that houses our basketball court. A second later its back and heading towards us. A few girls who are walking alongside the road literally jump away from it. Cricket and I hold our ground. It turns at the last second missing my car and fitting itself between a beat up pick up truck and a brand new beetle bug. The driver slams the breaks and the car lurches forward, but stops. The driver's seat car door flies open and a young man steps out, brushing his black hair flat as he does. I don't recognize him, which is odd. Everyone knows everyone. Once I come to the decision that I in fact do not know him, I turn back to Cricket. She's already marching across the parking lot headed straight toward the stranger.
"Urg, Cricket? Really?" I moan as I sluggishly walk after her.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She yells as she waves her hands wildly. "You could have killed someone!" The boy pulls at a cord around his neck as he turns to us. Cricket puts her hands on her hips and I know he is getting a death glare even though I am behind her.
"Uhh, sorry?" he raises an eyebrow at Cricket then turns to look at me. I cover my face with my hands and bow my head apologetically.
"Oh you're sorry? Great to hear that's all you have to say for yourself!" she barks at the boy in the black t-shirt and dark jeans.
"Yeah, I'm sorry," he says defensively. Cricket lets out an angry breath of air and folds her arms, like she often does. "I can safely guess you two aren't the welcoming committee," he frowns and I let out a low laugh. His eyes flick to me as his serious face breaks slightly, almost into a smile. When Cricket's wrath turns to me I shut up, but his smirk gets bigger. I copy the smile and suddenly feel connected to this stranger. Somehow I know that smirk is a rare thing to see. He opens his mouth as if to say something more, but Cricket beats him to it.
"Let's go Circe," She commands yanking me backward, but I don't break eye contact with the boy. He shakes his head, still wearing that little smirk. Cricket takes control and flips me around to face the building she's pushing me toward.
I turn my head back to yell at him, "Welcome to Sea Coast High." He had kept his eyes on me, as if he wanted to make sure he could meet my gaze again. I wave my hand above my head.
"Oh stop, don't talk to him," Cricket growls as I turn forward again.
"Oh come on, he's new. Must be rough..." I pause before adding the last thought. "Did he give off that creepy vampire vibe to you?" I laugh as she continues to push me toward the school green.
"Don't make fun of me!" she says like a little kid. She is referring to the fact that she had loved the book Twilight, but I never got into it.
"No, no. I mean a legitimate vampire. Dracula and In the Forests of the Night vampires," I laugh as I remind her of two of my favorite books ever written. I like the idea of vampires, but they have been pretty over done at this point.
"I dunno. I guess?" she huffs. "He had black hair and he was kind of pale."
"He didn't talk much either," I point out.
"Don't turn it into something. Because then we get out hopes up and then those hopes are crushed," she sighs as we approach the glass doors to the shabby building. It is Wednesday, so we have AP English together first thing in the morning. We have a knack for being late, not because we are intentionally trying to stay out of class, but because we are horrible at keeping track of time. Luckily Mr. Igoe likes us and is always fine when we enter class six minutes later than everyone else. He doesn't even stop talking as we walk in and take our usual seats. We are the only two who sit in the front row.
"It's the end of the semester and its time for our big project!" he smiles excitedly as he turns to write on the board. He writes in neat big letters SHORT STORIES. Cricket elbows me in the side.
She pushes a piece of loose-leaf paper toward me. In her curly script she has written, "How long is short?"
I pull my favorite pencil from the front pocket of my bag and scribble back, "How ever long it takes you to actually finish a story line." Then I add a smiley face for good measure. Someone grabs the tip of my sunglasses and pulls them over my head I flip around angrily to find Alice proudly wearing my glasses. We make faces at one another.
"Circe," Mr. Igoe calls to bring my attention back on him. I lower my head and try to look unassuming. "Can you-" he is interrupted by the sound of the door slowly opening. Since Cricket and I are already here, he knows its a disturbance to his class. Lone behold in walks a disturbance in a black t-shirt and dark washed jeans. I look over at Cricket who has let her head fall onto the desk making a loud crack sound. I smirk at her and then at the boy. His smirk is gone and is back to his serious face. This time I have the time to look more deeply at his eyes, a grey almost blue color very similar to my own. He flips his head backward to move loose strands of black hair, like Cricket's, away from his pools of grey.
"Um, can we help you?" Mr. Igoe says sort of aggressively.
"Who is that stud muffin?" Jacob whispers leaning down from his seat a row behind me, next to Alice. I turn to him, my finger over my lips telling him to remain silent. He bends it backwards until I let out a yelp of pain. I come to focus on the looks of wonder on every girls' face. A big daze and drool fest back here, all of them transfixed on, new guy. I spin back around realizing he is stunningly attractive. His face is strong, blemish free and he is well muscled, but not to an unnatural point. His hair, eyes and serious, rugged face round him off to be probably the best looking guy to walk the halls of Sea Coast. Oh no that makes him even more like the Twilight guy! I chuckle slightly at my own thoughts and those grey eyes meet mine again. Curiosity bubbling.
"I'm looking for Mr. Igoe's AP English class?" he says in a very low-key tone, his eyes on me.
"Alright, great, just grab a seat anywhere," Mr. Igoe clenches his teeth angrily as he motions to all of us. Unfortunately for Cricket, the only seats open are the ones directly to her right.
"Are you kidding me?" she says loudly to make sure the boy hears her. His eyes flick to her.
"What's wrong Cricket?" His expression doesn't change, but his tone is annoyed.
"How do you know my name?" Cricket's mouth hangs open a little in confusion before she turns to look at me. I shrug.
"Ok guys! Let's get back to class," Mr. Igoe says impatiently. "What is your name by the way?" He looks at the new guy.
"Sam," he speaks quietly, but strong.
At least three girls behind me quickly say "Hi, Sam," or "Welcome to Sea Coast, Sam." Cricket turns to look at the girls with a face of disgust, I just want to see who thinks Sam is so cute. He waves his hand above his head a quiet way to say thanks as he shimmies his way behind me then Cricket. He wisely chooses a seat one over from her.
"Circe was the first to officially welcome me," he looks at a grumpy Mr. Igoe as he speaks. I look around Cricket to see him. His grey eyes pointed back to look at me. When Cricket hears my name she spins around to glare at him then at me, again I shrug.
"Ok pay attention!" Mr. Igoe yells like we are being incredibly loud and obnoxious. It is odd because he is usually the kind of teacher who doesn't get upset at anything. He takes us through the rest of the semester, deadlines and dates for when to have our stories in by. I literally can feel the creative juices start to flow through Cricket. When we are dismissed I race Cricket out of the classroom and into the quickly filling hallway. Jacob and Alice join us to make a little circle.
"Holy fuck that kid is gorgeous! How do you two know him?" Alice booms in her usual voice that seems too big to come from such a little person.
"We don't," Cricket frowns and crosses her arms.
"Cricket no likey the new guy," I scrunch up my nose and smile at Cricket.
"No I do not," she covers my face with her hands. "He's a creep! How did he know our names?" I push her hands off my face and laugh.
"He probably asked the administration office or something. And you said my name," I shake my head at her in a disappointed manner.
"Still creepy! I have to go, I have Math all the way in the Grey building now." She waves and heads for the door to start her long journey across the quad to the Math and Science building.
"I have chem," Alice moans as she hands me my sunglasses and then starts trudging slowly after Cricket.
"And we have History," Jacob sings as he loops his arm around mine and pulls me down the hallway. We walk into the History class; only a few people have taken their assigned seats. For some reason teachers are horrible at understanding that when Jacob and I are put together we make trouble. In every class we have together this year they had sat us next to one another. And in every class they've moved us away from one another, except for history. It wouldn't be long though. We sat down and both of us immediately started decimating the other's binder. It was an on going game.
"Hey, hey don't draw that," I give him my unamused face as I try to pull my binder away.
"What you don't like penises?" he cackles as I try to rip the binder away from him.
"I do like penises!" I yell angrily as I try to pull the binder away from him at the same moment Sam walks in. Jacob looks up and releases the binder. He starts laughing uncontrollably. Realizing what I had just said I join in the giggling. Sam's cool expression surveys the loud room as he leans up against the teacher's desk. The few other kids in the room start to laugh as well. "Just not on my binder!" I yell again when I can breathe. The door clicks open again and my dramatic friend Mackenzie runs in. She drops her bag on our table angrily.
"Circe!" She yells over the howling filling the classroom. I sigh and rub my eyes trying to hear what she is saying.
"What?" I blurt out between laughs.
"Mark asked me out again," she frowns as the door clicks open one last time and Ms. Ruback marches in.
"Jacob, Circe stop laughing. Mackenzie take your seat. Everyone get out your notebooks for the do now," Ms. Ruback lists off like she did most days. She hasn't even noticed Sam, which makes me laugh more. Mackenzie looks angrily toward Ms. Ruback, but catches sight of Sam and seems to freeze in her tracks.
"Uhh, excuse me?" Sam says cooly. Ms. Ruback looks up from the stack of papers she is looking through. "I'm Sam?"
"I'm Ms. Ruback?" she mocks him like she usually does. She pisses me off. Her harsh tone cuts through my stifled giggles. I cross my arms angrily.
"He's new!" I yell motioning to Sam. I hear a few girls giggle around me, but I can't pin point who. Sam shoots me a glance before looking back to Ms. Ruback.
"Yeah, what she said," Sam nods to me.
"Oh sorry, welcome. Take a seat anywhere," she waves her hand toward the class as she looks back down at her stack of papers. He walks slowly to the only available seat in the far back right next to Jamie, a girl desperate to be liked by any guy she could get to like her. I always try to be nice to her, but she just gets under my skin.
"Hi," I hear her say in that baby voice girls, for some reason, think is attractive.
"Hey," he says coldly. He hates her already. Someone's fist hits my leg, hard.
"Ow!" I yelp grabbing my knee while looking over at Jacob. He is grinning ear to ear. I punch him back and then we are going at it again. Love taps under the table. Ms. Ruback looks up just in time to see Jacob slug me in the shoulder.
"That's it! Jacob you can't handle sitting with Circe!" She cries and looks around the room for an available seat.
"Ya think?" Jacob leans toward me as I raise my hand.
"Ms. Ruback? Please let him stay! He'll be good!" I beg.
"No! Jacob switch with the new guy!" A chill shoots down my back as Jacob uses my shoulder to push himself up out of his chair.
"His name is Sam," I roll my eyes at Ms. Ruback, but she isn't looking at me. A moment later Sam is next to me.
"Don't worry Circe! I'll love you from here!" Jacob yells as he sits down. I turn to look at him. He winks and I laugh. I try for a minute not to look at Sam as Ms. Ruback starts to lecture. But I give in; it's human nature to be curious. He pulls out a white binder and an expensive looking pen.
He flips to a blank page and across it writes, "It's human nature to be curious." My jaw drops a short way as I look up at his face. His head is facing forward, but his eyes are pointing back at me. I furrow my brow and pull his binder toward me.
I write, "Can you read minds?"
"No, can you?" he looks back at me confused.
"Never mind," I scribble.
"Do you ask that question to every new person you meet?" he writes.
"No." I pause in writing to look up at Ms. Ruback so she won't catch on that I have no idea what she is talking about. "Do you make every new person you meet's best friend hate your guts?"
"Yeah," he writes quickly then watches me read what he wrote. I look at him and he gives me a quick smirk. Again I feel a pang of excitement to have been the cause of the smirk.
"So you're a jokester are you?"
"Little bit," he writes fast and hard.
"You know they say you can tell a lot about a person by their handwriting," I write while looking at the board.
"Yeah I know. That's why I got you writing."
"Whoa you're sneaky. What do you know about me?"
"You still believe in dragons." I look at him. This time he isn't looking at me.
"Haha, yeah right."
"You can deny it if you want. I believe in them."
"Kids made fun of me because I believed in them. I defended them strongly once. I got torn down. I haven't really been one to say what I think since then." I look back at my paper surprised I had just written that.
"Cricket defended them too, I bet," he writes quickly as Ms. Ruback passes our table.
"You are kind of freaking me out," I admit.
"The best friendships grow from uneasy feelings. Like you and Jacob couldn't have always been so cool." The first time I'd met Jacob comes zooming back. He was tall and skinny then too, but he had long hair like his older brother that may as well be his twin. He was odd to say the least. He still is. He wasn't from my homeroom then so I didn't really get to know him until 7th grade when we were put in the same class. I realized he is exactly like me. Now I can't imagine not having him as a best friend. He's the one who sits in my basement with me and plays videogames for hours. None of my girlfriends want to play Arkham Asylum or Red Dead Redemption. Or if I am playing that sort of thing they just want to run around and do nothing productive. Wait, how did he know Jacob and my relationship started from uneasy feelings?
I go to write something in response, but before I can he flips the binder closed and stands up. I look around confused and realized everyone has stood up, but me. I push back my chair and stand slowly, trying to look like I know what is happening.
"Pass around these cards. Blue for boys, pink for girls," Ms. Ruback instructs. "You will find your name, age, where you live and economic standing on it. They also give your character an extra dimension. Take Mr. Worthington for example, he had an affair with Mrs. Marshall and believes that one of the daughters is his. So he doesn't want his sons to marry the Marshalls. Now collect with the rest of your family." Sam passes me the last pink card as people start to move around and call out last names. My card tells me my name is Elizabeth Kent. I am 17 and from some part of the country in England. I collect with my group. I'm with three other girls' one acting as my mother, another acting as the middle sister, the last acting as the youngest and Jacob acting as my daddy.
"Come to daddy!" He yells as he grabs me around the head.
"Jacob…" Ms. Ruback groans. He squeezes tighter then drops his arms. "Today we are going to try to mock the social class relationships in England in the mid 1800s. Each of your families represents different social classes. The Williams family is the lowest class," she motions to Mackenzie, a small boy that you wouldn't guess was in 11th grade, named Eric, and a girl that makes me want to hit her any time she says anything named Katie.
"The Kent family is the middle class family. Poor Jacob has a lot of women he needs to marry off," she looks at my new family and me.
"The Marshalls are the mid high class family," she motions to a tall lanky boy like Jacob named Jake and three girls named Lucy, Mary and the last one is Jamie. I supposed their father is supposed to be Nick a short angry looking boy that never says much.
"And our high, high class family are the Worthingtons," she looks over at Sam, a girl named Grace, a boy named Tom and John, Jacob's best guy friend. "By some fluke in the system all of the families were invited to the Marshall's house for a gathering. It is the perfect time for parents to try and play matchmaker. Every family wants to try to have their children marry into money. Parents and kids try to strike deals. Williams you have lots of farmland you can bargain with. Kent family you own three shops and have been growing your profits exponentially. You can try and sell your family on your raising profits." She pauses briefly and Jacob yells.
"Our shops are the best!"
"Jacob!" she snaps and he closes his mouth. "The Marshalls are old money, but they have had some scandal going on. They've recently lost quite a bit of money and they are still losing it. But no one knows this yet. They are desperate to marry their daughters to the Worthington boys or they will be bankrupt, but they can't let the beans spill about their worsening economic status. The Worthingtons basically hold all of the cards here. The boys have no worries, but the parents want to marry them to a family that is old money and has a lot of money. Ok get ready; I'll give you two minutes to talk to your family and plan. Go!"
"Ok ya'll are my bitches and I'm your pimp," Jacob declares quietly as we turn in to face each other.
"I don't think that's quiet right… Dear…" my new mother named Maggie sighs.
"Yes, we need to sell our daughters! Get out there and get into any guy's pants you can. Especially John," he speaks quickly. "John will be easy." I burst out laughing.
"Actually that's kind of a fair analogy," all three of the girls look at me side ways. "The easiest way to get in with the money is to have money. The next best way is feminine charm." I wink and the girls nod. "Can't be slutty though, we want to appear high class," I mock a snooty English accent.
"I call Sam," my middle sister, Lori smiles.
"No, I want him!" my youngest sister, Kelly huffs angrily.
"Rock on!" Jacob yells. "My daughters could kick your daughters' asses!" he yells at Nick who looks around like he just realized he was in a history class.
"Ok, ok, start mingling and Jacob please stop yelling," Ms. Ruback leans up against one of the vacant tables and watches as our families flow together. Right away Mackenzie runs over to me.
"I want Sam," she frowns.
"So does Jamie," I nod toward Sam who has been cornered by her already.
"She's got the money," Mackenzie sighs. "My card says I'm in love with James Marshall. I think that's Jake," she shudders.
"Jamie may have the money, but you've got the body," I laugh as we watch Lori and Kelly turn Sam away from Jamie. I look down at my card and read that I will only marry for love. I vow I won't marry unless I am in love with the boy.
"Hi," Kenzie sighs dreamily. I look up at her, realizing she is looking at someone behind me I turn to see Sam.
"Hi, you are?" he sticks out his hand for Mackenzie to shake.
"Mackenzie," she starts to sway back and forth slightly, completely ignoring his hand. I slip my hand into his and shake it.
"She means, uhh," I look over Kenzie's shoulder to read her card. "Rose Williams." I smile up at him. He lets out an amused snort of air and nods.
"Nice to meet you Rose. I am Samuel Worthington," he looks at me even though he is supposed to be talking to Mackenzie. "And you are?"
"Elizabeth Kent," I bow slightly realizing we still hadn't dropped hands I shake it again, this time letting it fall afterwards.
"Elizabeth I just met your sisters."
"Yes I saw," I nod.
"Very nice girls."
"Yes, my father is very proud of them. Actually I think he is bragging about them to your dad right now," I nod toward Jacob and Tom who are laughing. Jacob points at me and then Tom nods.
"Seems like he is bragging about you," Sam smirks slightly.
"Or Rose," I look over at Mackenzie who seems be in her own world.
"Or Rose," he nods.
"My daughters are overly worthy for the Worthington sons!" Mary, the Marshall mother shouts and everyone turns to look at Mary and Katie. Katie, Mackenzie's mother looks appalled and Mary is turning red with anger.
"All I know is someone told me that your family is losing money," Katie yells back looking around the room.
"Do not speak to me, peasant!" Mary barks as she walks over to John who has been talking with Jamie.
"Ok, ok settle down! Five more minutes!" Ms. Ruback yells as she flips through a history textbook.
"I guess I should mingle with others," I shrug.
"Well I suppose you could, but I wouldn't be offended if you didn't," his face is serious again, but soft.
"That was a lot of negatives in one sentence," I smile. He nods.
"I bid you adieu Ms. Kent," he bows slightly. I blink and bow back.
"I have been told you are Elizabeth Kent," Jake's deep voice that doesn't match his body startles me. I turn to him.
"That is correct."
"I just wanted to remind you that if you choose a Marshall you will gain a brilliant title," he stands awkwardly looking down at me.
"Thank you very much Mr. Marshall," I nod and smile.
"Back to your families!" Ms. Ruback orders and everyone returns to his or her respective corners.
"I struck a deal with the Marshall people, Jake is going to ask you to marry him Circe," Maggie tells me.
"Well I struck a better deal," Jacob smiles proudly. Maggie rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "Tom, Mr. Worthington, is going to get his sons to ask our girls."
"Grace, or Mrs. Worthington, said she will never let her sons marry girls without titles," Maggie growls.
"Mom! Dad! Stop fighting you're tearing us apart!" I yell and my two fake sisters laugh.
"Ok!" Ms. Ruback yells over us. I look around the room. The Williams family looks upset. The Marshalls seem angry at one another. But the Worthingtons are even more split. John looks furious and so does Grace. Sam wears the same serious face, he seems to wear no matter what he is feeling. Tom is smiling smugly. "Each son has to propose to a daughter. Daughters if you say no, then you have the chance to say yes to someone else, but there is also a chance you won't be asked again and you want to be married. You want to listen to your parents, but it's your own decision in the end. Sons, you get two shots to ask someone. Let's start with Eric. Would you like to propose to a girl?" He looks up and nods.
"Lucy?" he stands as he almost whispers.
"Sorry Eric, I can't," Lucy frowns.
"Ok… Kelly?" he whispers again.
"Sorry Eric," she shakes her head.
"Its fine. I don't take it personally," his smile is broken as he sits down again. My heart breaks a little for him.
"Next family. No boys in Kent family, Marshalls," Ms. Ruback looks to Jake. I look around the room. I catch Sam looking at me. I smile and he slightly bows his head.
"Uhh, ok. Elizabeth Kent?" Jacob hits me in the back.
"Ow!" I turn to glare at him.
"That's you!" Jacob yells in my face.
"Oh what?" I look around the room.
"I asked you to marry me," the class laughs as Jake frowns.
"Oh sorry, no thanks," I smile.
"What?!" Maggie yells behind me.
"Yes mother?" I turn to look at her.
"You are supposed to say yes!" She whispers.
"No thanks," I smile at her.
"Jake, second proposal?"
"Uhh… Lori?" Jake asks hopefully. Lori looks at Maggie who nods quickly.
"Sure why not, I'll marry James Marshall," Lori sighs; Jake nods and sits down on top of the table behind him.
"Great moving onto John," Ms. Ruback hurries us along.
"This may seem a little crazy, but my card says I'm in love with Rose Williams," John sighs as he stands up. I look quickly at Mackenzie who has her mouth open. She looks from Sam to John.
"No John! Ask a Marshall!" Grace barks.
"No, let the boy do what he wants!" Tom laughs.
"Mackenzie will you marry me?" John blushes.
"Of course!" Mackenzie coos, John smiles and sits down again.
"Darn it…" Kelly whispers behind me.
"Please don't make the same mistake Sam!" Grace pleads with him. Sam looks at her and then over at me.
"Any minute now Sam," Mrs. Ruback sighs while looking at the ticking clock. Sam stands up and walks across the room toward Kelly and I, but he turns to Jacob at the last moment.
"Mr. Kent, it is against my mother's wishes that I come to you today. But I have fallen in love with one of your daughters," the air seems to leave the room as every pair of eyes closely follows Sam's every move.
"Hold up there sonny. Which daughter?" Jacob strokes an imaginary beard.
"Miss Elizabeth Kent," Sam looks toward me.
"Dang it!" Kelly says louder this time. Sam moves in front of me and takes my hands in his. I am in disbelief that this boy is so confident in himself that he feels comfortable doing this the very first day he has met us. He lowers himself to one knee and the audience lets out an, awww.
"Elizabeth Kent, would you do me the honor in allowing me to be your husband?" He wears a look of sincerity.
"Yes," I smile and feel myself start to turn pink. I pull him up and loop my arms around his neck, he in return loops his around my waist. In that moment I see us in that position hundreds of times. Us when we were younger, older and much, much older. This is where I am meant to be, this is where I am, and this is where I always was.
"Circe, Sam! Stop!" Ms. Ruback's hand grabs my shoulder pulling me backward. I look around at the kids who all look confused or shocked. Jacob is wearing a smug smile he only displays when he beats me at something. I look up at Sam who seems to have just as much of a clue as me as to what is going on. "Sit down!" Ms. Ruback yells at all of us. The crowd breaks into a swarm of bodies fleeing to their seats. I quickly stride over to Jacob.
"What happened?" I lean toward him as I speak.
"You were like this close," he shows me with his hands. "To kissing Sam."
"What?" I call to Jacob as he moves to his new seat and I move to mine. He shrugs and slips into his seat. "Do you know what just happened?" I whisper to Sam as I lower myself into the seat next to him.
"Not entirely," his voice is serious, hard, cold, all the softness is gone.
"Not entirely?" But the ringing bell drowns me out. Again the classroom hums to life like a beehive. Students in a swarm. Sam gets up with the rest of the kids and files out of the classroom. I trip over my own feet trying to catch up to him. "Sam!" I call as I trip into the hallway buzzing with faces I have known all my life, yet suddenly seem unfamiliar. I twist around trying desperately to find him. My chest rises and falls, faster and faster. My head starts to spin. I loose focus. Everything is far away and too close at the same time. I feel the nothingness. It is always nothingness.
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