Colder Than Winter - 11. BOY MEETS OBLIGATION

HOSEOK

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It took everything to let them walk away. I could think of a million ways to serve justice on those psychos. And no one would even know it was me. But that wasn't who I was anymore. I couldn't let that be me anymore. When I moved here with Uncle, he convinced me to change and I wanted to. I wanted to be someone he could trust. Someone like him used his skills to protect people. A humble man.

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Sure, dad was a cop but he thought beating me was the way to fix my delinquency. As though loyalty to a gang that treated me with more respect than him could be beaten out of someone. Besides, all he cared about was his social standing in the police force. He couldn't handle me, so he sent me to his brother. A master in martial arts who didn't speak much, who was head of field operations for a private security company. I thought he'd be the same.

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I was wrong.

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We fought endlessly on the mats. Usually because I started it. I lost each time, never learning my lesson and kept finding reasons to fight things out. But every time, after every finishing blow, he was never angry. He'd simply remind me of when I was expected to be at the table for dinner and walked away.

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It took me a while to understand what he was doing. Initially I thought he was just throwing it in my face that he was stronger. But that wasn't it. It was like when people needed to cry out their anger or frustration--the need for someone to just listen and be there. That's what he was doing for me.

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When I agreed to change in the way he deemed was sufficient, he made me swear off of violence. He even hired Heejae to be my parole officer, driver and body guard if I ever ran into trouble. I wasn't even allowed to learn martial arts from him until I was able to prove my dedication toward change. A few months later, he finally started my lessons and even permitted me to attend school--which I was a little iffy about but I found a reason to enjoy it. I was practically a saint compared to my old self.

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To be honest I wasn't expecting a disciplined life to feel so free. But ever since Namjoon had it out for Yurim, it's been tough holding back. Why did it have to be her of all people?

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I licked the blood off my lip and grimaced at the sting. A slight metallic flavor lingered on my tongue. I was hoping I could get out of this without a scratch. At least then Heejae and my uncle would never know. There goes my clean slate.

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I sighed and looked over at Yoongi who sat still as a stone against the concrete wall. When I got here, I wasn't expecting a fight to have already broken out. Funnily enough I wasn't surprised Yoongi was the odd man out. Namjoon mentioned his 'dissention'. And when the pretty boy talked to him, he mentioned a girl being a possible explanation for his actions. Could he have been acting against what was done to Yurim?

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If so, how could he have been so stupid? Surely he didn't expect anyone to come and save him from being beaten to death. Was he really going to risk, at the very least, hospitalization for her? My mind returned to his sorry state, pity seeping in.

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"Are you dead?" I picked up an old, withered milk crate and sat beside him in the shade.

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He chuckled into a weak cough before spitting out bloody saliva. "Thought I must've been when I saw you jump in. Figured I was dead or crazy."

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I nodded, unsurprised at his shock. Ever since I enrolled, I had taken on a different personality. One that would help me to keep on a path my uncle would approve of. "I really didn't wanna surprise everyone. All I wanted was to get through my last year peacefully. But you and your club crossed the line today-"

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"I wasn't a part of that." Yoongi contested, his voice uncharacteristically ardent. My eyes narrowed at his defensive reaction, which shed light on my earlier speculations.

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"Oh, so you're completely free from blame?" I tested, waiting for his response. But Yoongi chose not to engage. His silence, heavy with guilt. A scoff of pity escaped my lips as it all became clear. "You're the one that brought her to the nurse's office and texted me where she was."

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I waited for him to deny it but again there was no response. I pressed more,

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"You also made sure that teacher went to investigate the bathroom that day."

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"Can you prove it?" Yoongi's bloody lips slurred.

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"No. But I know what I saw. I saw you in the stair well at the end of the hall, watching. At the first sign of a teacher, anyone involved in that little plan--which you were--would've left to avoid suspicion. But you stayed. That is...until she came out." I remembered it clearly.

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That day, I wondered what was taking Yurim so long to return from the bathroom. When I stepped out of the class to look for her, I spotted Yoongi through the window in the door. He was watching something in the hall then left shortly after. I didn't understand or think much of it until Yurim explained what had happened with Taehyung.

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Yoongi stirred, slowly bringing himself back on his feet. "What's your point?"

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I raised a brow. "You really want me to say it?"

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At first the battered guy was quiet then sighed. "Whatever."

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He started toward the door. I watched him with amusement. That guy really was stubborn. He reminded me of someone I used to know a long time ago.

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Myself.

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"I'm gonna miss the simple days when I thought you were just a heartless punk!" I teased as he got further away.

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"And you, a gutless idiot." Yoongi continued forward without looking back. My lips stretched into a crooked smile. But it just as easily fell again as I realized something still didn't sit right.

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"Ya, Yoongi!" I called.

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Yoongi stopped but didn't turn. I hesitated to continue, but it needed to be said. For both his sake and for hers.

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"Whatever you think you feel...give it up." My eyes turned up toward the clouds that drifted freely above us. White, pure and innocent. But so very far away. "Guys like us weren't made for girls like her," I concluded in a far off tone.

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After two seconds, Yoongi continued forward silently until the roof's only inhabitants was me.

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The dining room was always peaceful and quiet during dinner. Being the only two residents of the modern and spacious house, that was normal. But considering the events of the day, it wasn't merely the quiet that was audible. It was the anticipation. What was he going to say? Was he going to forbid me to train again?

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The man sitting across from me chewed his steak calmly, his posture a testament to decades of discipline. Jung Kwang Soo, my uncle, insisted we enjoy our meal before discussing what had happened. Somehow it felt worse to wait. How could anyone enjoy their food when a lecture awaited them? I wondered if he did it on purpose to punish me. Everything was always a lesson when it came to my uncle.

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The clinking and grinding of the silverware against the plates before us was the only thing keeping my ears company. If I wasn't trying to read my uncle's face I was absently regarding the dark oak table and the brass centerpieces. The surface itself could fit six people but it never sat more than two. I always wondered why anyone would bother with such a thing when they lived alone with no family. Didn't it make them feel more lonely?

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Despite my curiosity I never asked uncle Kwangsoo why he never married. In order to kill the interest, I simply assumed he chose to prioritized his career. I guessed it was possible that working for a security company could be dangerous for someone with a family.

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"Are you finished already?" His calming voice cut through the silence. He took a swig of water from his glass. "You've been drawing lines in the sauce with your steak for three minutes." The man observed. I laid my fork down, the silver shimmered under the brass and crystal chandelier that hung above us.

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"Yeah," I pushed the plate forward and leaned on the table. "I'm done."

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Uncle popped another piece of steak into his mouth. It must've been obvious I had things on my mind. Nothing could keep a teenaged boy from devouring his entire meal like bothersome thoughts could. What were the old man's real thoughts about me right now? Was he angry and just good at hiding it? Was he disappointed?

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Then there was Yurim's safety which was a whole other can of worms considering my new job. I dropped off her homework at her house after school today. Collecting it was originally an excuse to find Namjoon during lunch. Which then became the perfect excuse to check on my best friend at her house. Unfortunately, she wasn't awake at the time I came so I couldn't see her.

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I was anything but put together today. As restrained as I struggled to be, my chest practically bled worry and anxiety the whole way. I couldn't ask her how she was feeling, what I could do for her, or even crack jokes just to see her smile. That smile could make one strong enough to tough out any storm. Namjoon, that bastard! I thought back to the rooftop, seriously regretting letting him go. I wanted to beat him senseless!

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My hands squeezed into fists. The muscles in my jaw practically cramping.

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"So," Uncle Kwangsoo said wiping his mouth with his napkin. I looked down to find he had finished his dinner. "Heejae told me you fought in school today."

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I nodded with my head bowed. "Yeah. A bunch of idiots at our school has had it out for my friend for a while now."

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I went on to explain everything that happened from the day at the skating rink to today, including the fight itself. Although my uncle had a naturally kind face, I learned long ago that he was far from being a pushover. His eyes were attentive and contemplative as I told him everything. I wondered what part of my actions had been disappointing or unsatisfactory.

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"I know I promised not to do this, so whatever consequences you have planned," I shrugged, still unable to meet his eyes. "I'm ready for it."

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A sharp exhale came from my uncle. With my curiosity getting the best of me, I looked up at him. The man had a small smile on his face and a look of fondness. This wasn't at all the reaction I was expecting.

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"What?" I blinked cluelessly at him.

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"I didn't know you were still committed to that promise."

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"But, I thought..."

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"You were a different person then, Hoseok. Much different than now." He said. I looked away both shy and embarrassed. Shy, because I wasn't used to receiving compliments from people who knew me back then. Embarrassed, because...my recent thoughts and the anger I've been feeling. I doubted he'd have said that if he knew. "That was an agreement I needed from someone who hadn't yet earned my trust."

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My cheeks flushed even more. "You...trust me?"

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"Why do you think I entrusted you to look after Kim Seokjin instead of my own subordinates?"

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My heart sank when he mentioned my new job. Apparently, Seokjin's dad had been getting threats from an old colleague and hired uncle Kwangsoo to protect his family. I thought surveilling Seokjin was just a task to test my sense of responsibility like he's done before. But it was for real?

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"But I'm just a kid. Why not assign actual security to watch him?"

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Uncle sighed as he reflected something unknown. "Kim Joo-suk. His relationship with his family is hanging by a thread. The way Seokjin reacted to his original plans for his protection was less than promising. So I offered you as an alternative to twenty four hour personnel. It was a compromise to keep him safe but also to keep his and his father's relationship in tact."

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A beat passed as I tried to make sense of what he was saying. "I mean...I get having guards on your tail would drive anyone crazy but...their relationship isn't your responsibility." I rationalized.

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"Not as his head of security, no. But as a friend, yes." He nodded contentedly. How could he be so relaxed about taking both another's safety and familial affairs in his own hands. Wasn't it bothersome? Did Mr. Kim even know the trouble my uncle was going through for his sake? Seokjin sure as hell didn't.

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These thoughts brought me to my own clashing tasks. Protecting Yurim while keeping an eye on Seokjin. One, a personal task and the other, strictly obligation. I brought the two together thinking I could strike two birds with one stone. Whether it improved the situation or complicated it, I didn't know.

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One thing was for sure. It wasn't easy, seeing them getting a long so well. Of all the guys my uncle could've been friends with, it had to be the father of my best friend's crush.

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"Anyway, it sounds like these bullies at school won't take their defeat very lightly. Be careful not to involve Seokjin in your rivalry with them. And don't prioritize your business with them over protecting him. I'll have Heejae surveilling the school nearby from now on in case of emergencies."

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"Yeah." I absently agreed. "Okay." The temptation to refuse the responsibility ate at me. I wanted to tell him that I needed to focus on protecting Yurim. That she was my first priority.

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But he trusted me. The first person I ever looked up to trusted me.

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I'll just have to figure out how I'm gonna do both...

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