我沒有回家去,直接溜到他的家去。我和他之間已沒有同事關係,我可以乾脆利落地喚他「男友」。對我的突然造訪,他不解,卻沒有多問。呵呵哄哄,給我吃零食、玩遊戲機、穿他的睡衣、睡他的床。549Please respect copyright.PENANAbTOLnYNiRf
549Please respect copyright.PENANAcEy6U8lZDd
一輪熱吻愛撫後,男友進入極度興奮狀態,將我壓在胯下,沒注意到我正在放空自己,思緒飛往遙遠的他方去了。549Please respect copyright.PENANAAZawuN0kaE
549Please respect copyright.PENANAhMernh0LJX
産房內有一張床,床上有一隻蟻后。她的腹部異常腫脹,疼痛非常,是産婦們所講的十級痛楚。厲聲喊痛,觸肢下意識地在空中揮舞,似乎臨近生産時刻。549Please respect copyright.PENANAtMBTvxNoAd
549Please respect copyright.PENANAk63qfQDMKx
「生產就是會這樣痛。」我以冷眼回應牠的苦痛:「長輩們沒有告訴你嗎?」549Please respect copyright.PENANA6hyxwvMqIM
549Please respect copyright.PENANAfuHgBL2Kpm
「長輩們只告訴我,這是命運!是必然的,不得不接受。」牠低頭看著腹部,兩肢隔著下腹撫摸著卵狀的孩子,思考著命運的必然。「我生來就是為了生產。除了生產,我的存在沒有其他意義。」549Please respect copyright.PENANArNJRu6QFkl
549Please respect copyright.PENANA3ax93SuKXx
「這並不是必然的。只要沒有和雄蟻婚飛交尾,你就不會懷孕。」我戳破長輩們的謊言,戳破牠整輩子的信念:「即使你當不成蟻后,你也可以當工蟻。」549Please respect copyright.PENANArM4tnlgWAV
549Please respect copyright.PENANABrPPh2fMPO
牠嗚咽起來,感到受傷。我心生歉意:我給牠看見了擦身而過的選擇,在一切已成定局的時候。哭聲未落,淒楚慘叫聲隨即補上。蟻卵以排山倒海之勢自牠腹部小穴飛瀉而出。不消一會,整張床上都是蟻卵,恐怖非常。但牠的身體卻沒停止的意識,繼續排卵。蟻卵迅速攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。549Please respect copyright.PENANArBDvlt6svX
549Please respect copyright.PENANAvA5U6vu9sw
我驚恐萬分之際,耳邊卻傳來蟻后的哀音:「他朝君體也相同!」549Please respect copyright.PENANAa7ozxCmkzm
549Please respect copyright.PENANAPcvJaxjDXe
床上的我驚叫,但男友卻誤以為我也感到興奮,於是更用力…549Please respect copyright.PENANAOI2nMFhxq7
549Please respect copyright.PENANAX3O8LmAG2a
我懶理家人的反對,繼續留在男友家住。他的家說不上鬆動,僅僅夠兩個成年人居住。這份壓逼感,帶點侷促,卻意外地為我提供莫名的安全感。就像走在熟悉的蟻路上,不需選擇,不需思考,不需擔心。按著既有的指示,一直前行,就會去到預期的地點。輕鬆,簡單。549Please respect copyright.PENANAXIOOnQgrOP
549Please respect copyright.PENANAVLds27olkH
我挨近窗戶,望向地面黑壓壓的頭頂。我分不清那些是人頭或蟻頭。549Please respect copyright.PENANAvHOHGJLgM5
549Please respect copyright.PENANASqMlcW2nMp
我一直鄙視活得像蟻的人,恥笑他們沒有自由意志,終身困在無形的樊籬當中。此刻反觀一切,我不也是將自己困在另類的樊籬當中?為了不和他們一樣,我限制了自己的行動。像蟻后,餘生只能活在巢裡。549Please respect copyright.PENANAGYZZdrNy2e
549Please respect copyright.PENANANCKcJjP1hT
自那天到來男友的家後,我沒有離開過單位。怕要面對隨波逐流的蟻,和牠們相處、溝通。思想是高傳染度的傳染病,可以經由言語、文字、圖片、暗示、氛圍等途徑傳播。避無可避!549Please respect copyright.PENANAzMT3yF1eoa
549Please respect copyright.PENANAaNgvMNZdHe
我忽爾靜默下來。549Please respect copyright.PENANAPEA6cPfg6u
549Please respect copyright.PENANAi2PaoOx8nH
茅塞頓開。549Please respect copyright.PENANApdkO69Ln7v
549Please respect copyright.PENANA08ucDoBK9A
根本早於懂性之前,我的腦袋已被蟻群佔據。可能是新品種的蟻,也可能是未被其他人發現過或命名過的蟻。牠們的排他性奇高,所以我對身邊的所有蟻群那樣敏感…549Please respect copyright.PENANAcawzjG1jYp
549Please respect copyright.PENANAKrfk1ElBOU
病入膏肓了?沒救了?549Please respect copyright.PENANAJFWkWUh2VS
549Please respect copyright.PENANAKjJJVPvJWc
不!我才不要和那隻可憐的蟻后下場一樣!549Please respect copyright.PENANAORF3TCDHTy
549Please respect copyright.PENANAwpzKH0XMsv
我不能妄下定論,不然會中了蟻群的詭計。我告訴自己,只要未死,就有得救可能。可是,要怎麼救?火燒蟻?煙燻蟻?水淹蟻?毒殺蟻?549Please respect copyright.PENANAXkAbcN2ZQp
549Please respect copyright.PENANA81v5ex3i5L
靈光閃現。我想起了客人和女上司的對話。「人吃人」只是個例子,同類相殘才是真相!為了減少競爭,每個物種均有相爭相殘現象。自己最了解對手的同時,對手同時最了解自己。最懂殺人的是人類,最懂滅蟻的是蟻!549Please respect copyright.PENANAhcfJUME6NF
549Please respect copyright.PENANAcV9Nh0PWPG
我走到廚房去,金睛火眼,環視四周。549Please respect copyright.PENANANb2RUQD6c2
549Please respect copyright.PENANAu1enqgBMBq
牆角有隻蟻路過。549Please respect copyright.PENANAUd1x0ixwwB
549Please respect copyright.PENANAZLrLZ8VVkO
我將牠放入耳窩。549Please respect copyright.PENANAtMXhLvJkR8
549Please respect copyright.PENANAA1seQTUlo0
期待漁人得利之日。549Please respect copyright.PENANAkMeME6jR2v
549Please respect copyright.PENANAmsdy7aFvLT
(第六節完)