我嘅職業係專溝人地個女朋友 - 8.14

8.14

Nov 2, 2022

423

3 Mins Read

聽完善潼嘅故事，我久久未能作出反應。

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如果喺幾個月前我未同善潼有返聯絡果陣聽到衣堆說話，我反而可能唔會咁混亂。

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但喺衣幾個月發生左咁多事同咁多經歷之後，我衣家都唔係好清楚自己嘅感覺到底係點。

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你問我有無嬲善潼呃我，我知一定無。

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但面對佢嘅表白，我真係唔知應該點回應…

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衣家嘅我對善潼有無感覺?

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有。

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咁係咪即係自己都鍾意佢?

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我唔知…

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如果真係鍾意，咁到底係因為佢係善潼所以鍾意，定抑或只係因為佢衣家好似善柔所以鍾意?

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我唔知…

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如果係前者，問題倒容易解決，直接接受對方愛意就得。

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但如果一切感覺都只係基於我仲未放低善柔呢? 咁對善潼公唔公平? 會唔會因為咁將來我會傷害到佢?

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「一時間接收左太多資訊，我諗我需要d時間消化沉澱下…」喺未攪清自己感覺前，我似乎唔應該比任何回應佢。

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「其實一開始我就無諗過你會真係接受我同我一齊，只但係衣幾個月過得實在太幸福喇，當衣家到左夢醒真係要失去嘅時候，原來真係會好唔捨得…

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不過希望你就算接受唔到我都好，都唔好嬲我可以比我繼續做你半個阿妹…」善潼流住眼淚咁講。

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「傻妹… 我地咁多年感情，無論發生咩事我都唔會唔理你架，只係我唔希望咁反而變成害左你…」見到善潼嘅眼淚，我個心都痛左一下，但我好驚自己比左假希望佢。

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假若我真係接受唔到善潼，繼續存在喺佢身邊就只會令佢唔開心亦妨礙佢放低自己追尋新嘅幸福。

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「我明你意思，不過我唔介意架…」善潼想說服我。

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「但我會內疚…我諗我要d時間攪清楚自己嘅感覺先…」但我無比佢說服。

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「你無一下拒絕我已經好開心架喇，至少我仲有個希望可以等… 不過立仁哥哥，你可唔可以唔好再做衣家嘅職業?」善潼稍為鬆左口氣收起左淚水後又問。

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「你唔認同我做嘅野?」我反問。

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「我好明白你嘅原意同初心，但家姐嘅事係一件單一事件，唔代表個個都會咁…」

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「但衣d事一單都嫌多…如果可以避免，咁點解唔咁做?」我反問。

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「失戀，其實差唔多係每一個人都會必經嘅成長階段。而你衣家嘅做法，會令d人少左個成長嘅機會，唔識從錯誤中學習。而且因為無失去過果種錐心之痛，佢地亦唔會學識珍惜，咁到最後其實未必係一件好事…」善潼講道。

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「但我寧願佢地無成長，學唔識珍惜，都好過無左條命…」我堅持。

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「你…其實有無了解過比你”救”左果班女仔之後發生嘅事?」善潼問。

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「無呀… 不過如果出左事，我估新聞應該會睇到? 所以至少佢地應該仲健在係衣個世界先。」我一直都有刻意留意d自殺新聞，慶幸無自己溝過嘅女仔出事。

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「咁不如等我話下你聽? 因為查你果陣我都有接觸下佢地，所以大概都知道佢地之後發生過咩事。」

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「好，你講…」關於佢地往後嘅故事我都有d好奇。

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