晴晴聽到呢條問題之後並無太大嘅驚訝，可能佢都預咗我會問
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「不如咁啦，我直接講晒成個你想知嘅故事俾你聽呀，
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係當其時，我確實係鍾意阿謙你，我覺得...由小學嗰陣時我已經覺得你係一個好好，好友善嘅人
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不過我諗...你都大概估到，去到中學中一嗰陣時，你俾唔到我想要嘅生活我，
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而我覺得我哋做緊嘅嘢，都唔算係朋友嚟嘅
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所以我就決定咗同你講清楚，其實我哋不如做朋友啦
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嗰陣時嘅我，覺得呢個唔係分開，而係釐清關係
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我諗你都會同意，其實我哋做緊嘅嘢唔係情侶
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因為嗰陣時年少無知嘅表白，令到我哋名義上係情侶，不過我哋唔係做緊情侶嘅嘢，
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當其時我想俾你知道，我哋係冇可能做情侶嘅
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去到後面你不停咁同我表白，你真係好鍾意我，你講咗好多你究竟有幾鍾意我嘅例子出嚟，
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不過我始終覺得，你仲未做到
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你仲未適合成為我嘅伴侶囉。
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作為一個朋友嚟講，你做得好好，你會好關心人哋嘅思想，你會好在意人哋嘅感受
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但係作為伴侶嚟講，我覺得你冇比到一種令到我安心嘅感覺囉
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我亦都唔怕同你講，其實呢幾年我都嘗試去識唔同嘅男仔，去俾自己轉換其他目標
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不過我都係仲未搵到一個適合嘅，而令到我暫時放棄咗拍拖
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去到開始準備DSE嗰陣時，我亦都開始變得太壓力，我好想有人可以陪住我迎接呢一條路，去支持我，鼓勵我，
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但係佢哋...我班中學同學，佢哋都會有各自嘅屋企人或者男朋友，去支持佢哋
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而我就好似冇咗呢一個特別嘅存在
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屋企人比我嘅支援，其實冇想像中咁多，
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意外地，亦都係嗰一下諗到阿謙你，
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不過都有幾個原因阻止咗我去搵你，
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第一樣就係，亦都係主要阻止我嘅就係，我唔知你而家對我嘅感覺會係點
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始終上一次你同我表白，係上年嘅exchange，亦都已經係一年前，呢一年我哋之間都冇乜接觸
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係可能生日祝福囉，但係呢個亦都係一個朋友都可以做到嘅
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我唔知你會唔會放棄咗我，你覺得我地停留喺嗰一個關係就得
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第二樣嘢就係，就算你鍾意我，但係我點樣知道你係一個合格嘅戀愛對象呢？
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我唔知你對一個鍾意嘅人會係點，我唔知你嘅諗法或者做法係點
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因為我亦都見過好多好多嘅例子，就係喺埋一齊之後會有其他嘅目的，唔單只係喺埋一齊咁簡單
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我唔希望你係咁樣嘅人，都唔希望自己受到欺騙
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喺考緊試嗰陣時，我都好想有個人支持我，但係我冇
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考完試嗰陣時，望到你其實純屬偶然嘅，但係我想同你講返清楚成件事
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我唔想你討厭我
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雖然喺嗰一件事之前，我哋咩關係都唔係
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但係我諗...你都會想知道答案
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嗰日食飯，我確實好想同你講我嗰陣時嘅諗法，但係我真係唔夠膽
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我唔知我最後得出嚟嘅結局係點，我唔想面對
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相比之下，你確實好勇敢，之前你願意唔理我對你嘅回覆係點，都嘗試同我一齊
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而家你都願意講出你嘅諗法，而承受住可能我會憎你，我哋之間再無聯繫嘅呢個風險
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我真係唔夠膽
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而我都係嗰刻開始明白到你對我嗰種鍾意，
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比我想像中重要好多好多
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嗰陣時我仲有少少懷疑，你會唔會為咗其他目的，
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不過諗返轉頭，
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你願意為咗我等咁多年，都應該只係因為真心相愛嘅
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但係我唔知...我唔夠膽肯定同你一齊，我一定會開心
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所以我俾你去提供一個解決方法
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而你提出嘅，希望我哋做假情侶
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我都希望喺呢一段時間入面，我全心全意當你係我嘅另一半，俾我去體驗一下兩個人真心相愛嘅感覺會係點
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如果連阿謙一個講咗咁多年都鍾意我嘅人，都俾唔到嗰種感覺我
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咁我諗...我真係唔適合拍拖
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好幸運嘅係，我喺呢段時間好好咁體驗到你對我嘅在意
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我亦都願意俾你同我之間有啲身體接觸，我覺得我開始搵到一種安全感
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約你上嚟，亦都係我最後一個步驟，
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我想知道你究竟為咗啲乜嘢而做嗰啲事，
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而你頭先講嘅...原來所有事情，都連繫著我哋嘅故事
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令到我好驚訝，我冇預過一個人會諗咁多嘢，做咁多嘢，
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只係為咗嗰一個唔知可唔可以喺埋一齊嘅人
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亦都超出我嘅預期
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所以我而家俾你嘅答覆係，
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我願意同你一齊成為情侶」
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「如果你同意嘅話，我想問你一條問題，
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我可唔可以攬吓你？」
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咁多年來，我好想攬住呢一個我鍾意咗咁耐嘅女仔，代表我真係擁有佢
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呢種行為令到我感覺到佢在意住我，
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同埋，我唔想再失去佢
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「可以呀」
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我企咗起身，行向晴晴，攬住佢，
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佢亦都攬返我轉頭
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喺佢攬返我轉頭嗰下，我忍唔住喊咗出嚟
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呢七年八個月，我確實過得好艱難，我唔知道自己仲要為咗啲乜嘢
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我好迷惘
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我要承受唔同人嘅嘲諷，佢哋質問點解我仲要執着喺晴晴
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我要擔心究竟晴晴會唔會搵咗第二個男仔，我要改善自己，令到自己配得上晴晴
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心態同埋情緒亦都受到好大影響
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呢一刻，所有嘅努力終於得到回報
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嗰一次同晴晴分開，嗰排我喊咗好耐，
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由嗰一排開始，我已經好耐冇再釋放過情緒
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我成日收埋自己嘅情緒，我唔希望再爆發令到自己崩潰
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我唔知自己會唔會因為咁而自我傷害
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而家，我可以釋放返以前嘅壓抑，令到自己真真正正咁享受呢一個時刻
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過去呢幾年嘅辛酸，
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終於結束
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「傻豬，做乜喊啫？」
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晴晴問我嘢，我冇答佢
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因為我真係好想靜靜地享受呢一個時刻
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我諗冇人可以真正明白我咁多年嘅痛苦
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就算晴晴自己都唔會
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只有阿謙一個人知道
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喺攬咗唔知幾耐之後，我放開咗晴晴，拉住佢隻手坐返去梳化
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晴晴同我講：「咁你等我一陣啦」
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跟住佢返咗入房
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