我和一個o camp女女的故事 (已完結) - 五十六

五十六

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我輕輕咁推一推開Jenny，絕望地望向佢，搖一搖頭說道：「唔會…你冇可能會原諒我架…」

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Jenny開始越喊越勁：「會架！會架！我會原諒你架！你唔好唔要我呀！」

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「我同左第二個女仔上床呀！」我大叫左出黎。

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我講完之後Jenny呆左。

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三秒。

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然後勉強咁講：「老公？我知你係講笑既。」之後勉力咁撐出笑容。

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我搖一搖頭，冇再出聲。

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我冇資格出聲狡辯。

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Jenny呆左一呆，再衝過黎，雙手響我心口亂打：「點解呀！點解呀！嗚…嗚…你話過…要娶我架…你話過…唔會唔要我架…你話過…認定我係你老婆架…」

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我由得佢響我心口亂打。

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或者咁樣會令我個心好過啲。

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「對唔住。」我無力地吐出一句。

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Jenny突然停止左，索左幾下鼻水，問我：「個女仔…係咪叫阿冰？」

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我個腦一陣暈眩。

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點解Jenny會知架？

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Jenny見到我個反應當我默認，再次打我心口：「嗚…原來…你一早已經…背住我同佢…嗚…」Jenny講到呢度講不下去了。

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一早？

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唔係咁架。

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「你點知道阿冰架？」我把聲震晒。

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「我之前已經見到你同佢啲messages…你從來冇同我提起過佢…果陣我仲安慰自己…話你地只係普通朋友…驚我誤會…先唔話比我聽…」Jenny哽咽地道。

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Messages？淫龍盃果晚？

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…

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我應該一早估到…

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或者…如果我一早知道，就唔會繼續同阿冰行咁埋，我對佢既感情都唔會去到咁深…

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但係…一切已經冇得返轉頭。

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「唔係咁架…我冇同佢響埋一齊…」我試圖幫Jenny降溫。

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Jenny稍為定左一定，突然又大叫：「咁你點解會同佢上床！嗚…」又大聲咁喊左出黎。

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我有啲手足無措。

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「我知我唔夠佢靚，我又成日掛住讀書唔得閒陪你…我會改架！我真係會改架！我學緊化妝打扮架啦！我以後唔會淨係掛住溫書架啦！老公你唔好唔要我呀…」Jenny又嚎哭。

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我心如刀割。

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關你乜野事？Jenny你由頭到尾都冇做錯過任何野呀！

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最錯就係識左我呢個人渣、賤人…

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但係…點解Jenny又會知道阿冰係乜野樣既呢？

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唔通…係搵到佢Facebook？

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唔重要了…

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我軟弱地回應：「你唔駛改…你好好…」我自己都就快要喊出黎：「係我做錯左，完全唔關你事。」

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Jenny只係繼續喊，冇出聲…

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「就算你而家叫我唔好唔要你，你一返到去冷靜咁諗返就會知道你無可能會原諒到我。」我嘗試儘量冷靜咁同Jenny分析返件事。

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「唔會架…唔會架…」Jenny越講越細聲…可能佢都開始明白，只要佢一冷靜，根本就冇可能會原諒到我。

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一諗到呢度，我心一痛，眼淚忍唔住流左出黎…

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「對唔住…對唔住…」我只有不停咁無補於是地道歉…

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「你而家…係諗住同我分手再同阿冰一齊？」冷不防Jenny突然單刀直入咁講…

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我搖一搖頭，堅定咁回答：「唔會。一定唔會。」

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我係有咁諗過。

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但呢一刻如果再決做咁做既話我同畜牲有乜野分別？

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你話我自我感覺良好又好，想自己良心好過啲都好，甚至乎係贖罪都好，就算有機會，我都唔打算同阿冰一齊。

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而且…我不配。

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「嗯。」Jenny鬆一口氣，再道：「咁…」

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我知Jenny想講乜野。

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佢想話既然阿冰唔係障礙既話，咁不如我地繼續一齊。

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我其實好想。

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但同我呢個人渣一齊根本唔係對緊你好。

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港大有好多準醫生準律師，以Jenny甜美既外貌，一定可以釣到金龜。

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佢唔應該同我呢啲四肢發達，頭腦簡單，而且會出軌既垃圾一齊。

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「唔好講啦…」我既淚水稍為遮擋左我既視線：「為你好，唔好再同我一齊。」

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長痛不如短痛。

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我驚我自己出得一次，會再出第二次、第三次…

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我最初都以為自己控制到自己，但其實根本唔得…

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「唔好呀…唔好唔要我呀…」Jenny雙手攬住我，淨係識重覆呢句。

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我何嘗唔想繼續同你一齊？但我唔配，我冇資格。

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我狠下心用力推開Jenny，忍住眼淚，鐵下心腸地道：「我認真再講多次。陳仲妮，我地真係分手喇。」

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Jenny聽完呢句說話胸口好似比大鐵鎚打左一下咁…

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「嗚…點解呀…我都話我會原諒你架…」

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「但係我原諒唔到我自己呀！」我幾乎係叫出黎：「你應該係要搵一個專一愛你既人，唔係我呢啲人渣！」

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「…梁建威…你係咪點都唔會同返我一齊…？」Jenny哽咽地問。

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「唔會。」我扮晒冷漠咁答。

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以後要對女朋友好啲？

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離開我對你黎講應該係最好既選擇。

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Jenny征征咁發左一陣呆，突然將手上面我尋日買比佢既情侶鈪除左出黎，好大力咁掟落我心口，邊大哭邊大叫：「梁建威，我憎死你，我憎死你！」之後轉身即刻向我相反方向跑走左！

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我果刻真係認為…同Jenny分手先係對佢最好既選擇。

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回憶被打斷了。

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我望一望個巴士站，原來已經到左站，只要再落車行入商場就會去到阿熙結婚擺酒既酒樓。

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我回過神，發現自己既面頰好似有暖暖地、濕濕地既感覺。

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原來回憶緊呢段往事既時候，我竟然不自覺咁流左幾滴眼淚出黎。

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男兒有淚不輕彈呀。

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快手抹左佢先。

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我起身，對住玻璃好快咁整一整理自己既儀容，向巴士落車度門走去。

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五十六

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