That day, I didn't get to apply on the volleyball club just as we intended. Umuwi agad kami dahil sa nangyari, sinabi ni Trace na ipangpabukas na lang daw.
I didn't bother to ask him who's the guy, but I'm dying with curiosity with all the things he's not telling me.
And as the days passed, I can see his eyes grow with sanguine to melancholic one second apart every time he stare into a dead space. I couldn't bare it, but I was too shy to even ask. I always ask if he was okay, and he always tell me he is, but I wasn't fully convince, especially that I notice a hickey on the back of his neck for the second time one Wednesday morning.
"What's that?" Tanong kong patay-malisya.
"Hmm? Saan?"
"Sa batok mo. You got a bite?"
Nagulat siya at agad iyong tinakpan. "Y-Yeah."
"Okay ka lang?"
I noticed his nervousness disgruntled. "Bakit lagi mo kong tinatanong niyan?"
I gave him a small smile. "...Hindi kasi halata."
Saglit na napatitig sa akin si Trace. Nakita ko ang paglunok niya. "Well, I'm fine."
"You sure you've got nothing to tell me?" I sighed.
Umiling siya, but I could see his hesitation. "Just problems with the math club. Wala na."
Sure.
Ininom ko ang tubig na binili namin sa canteen at tumitig sa mga tumatakbo sa field. Oras ng PE namin ngayon at tirik na tirik ang sikat ng araw kahit alasdiyes pa lang. Yung iba ay nagsuot na ng sombrero, ngunit patibayan sa mga wala.
Nakatambay kami sa halamanan ni Trace dahil tapos na kaming tumakbo. Hinihintay na lang ng PE teacher naming matapos yung iba.
"Kumusta yung sa volleyball club? May laro ba kayo?" He asked.
Ilang araw ang lumipas bago ako nakapasok sa volleyball club. Hindi pala madali ang proseso at marami kang kailangang pirmahan. On the first day, they trained me if I was fit. I was lucky to be a part of the team because there's so many students that wanted to got in but they never got accepted.
"Next week." Maikling sagot ko.
"Nakita mo na ba yung itsura ng kapatid ni Yena?"
"Ah, si Yuno?"
"Hmm."
"Right, ayun pala ang balak kong itanong sayo. Are they twins? I think I heard it from the gossip."
Tumango si Trace. "Fraternal."
"So...Yena excels academically, and his twin was occupied with sports? Hahaha..."
"You should've seen their parents. Kamukhang kamukha ni Yena yung daddy nila, Yuno is also the carbon copy of their mom."
I smiled. "Their parents must have love each other so much for their kids to look like them."
Trace and I fell silent as we look at each other.
"So...who do you look like?" I asked.
Trace laughed. I don't know what's so funny. "Kabit ng Daddy ko ang mommy ko noong nabuntis ako. Now that I think of it, I look nothing like them at all."
I stared at him in shocked. "Ngayon mo lang sinabi sa akin? At bakit ka tumatawa?"
"I just find it funny!"
I shook my head thinking he's crazy. "So you think...hindi nila minahal ang isa't-isa?"
Umiling siya. "Namatay yung unang asawa ni Daddy right before he married my mom. Dad and his first wife don't have any children. So, err, my dad's basically a douchebag. He cheated to fill his lust. He's hopeless."
"You hate your Dad..."
"Hmm. Alam mo yun, simula pa noong lumalaki ako, parang hindi ko siya nakausap. Hindi sila maayos ng mommy ko. Our house was nothing but empty. Palagi silang wala at ako lang ang naiiwan sa bahay. And...he despise me for being like this."
"Like what? What's wrong with you?---" I gulped as I realized it.
Right.
Trace smiled. "I hate both of them for bringing me here in this world. Pinapakain at binubuhay nga nila ako, pero parang...wala naman talaga ako dito."
Para bang may tumusok sa puso ko nang sabihin iyon ni Trace. His voice was shaking but he's holding back to not be. Umusog ako palapit sa kanya at hinawakan ang kamay niya.
I do not know how to respond with what he told me. Ang bigat sa pakiramdam.
Parehas kaming natahimik at pinanood ang mga tumatakbo naming kaklase sa field. We were occupied with the noise of the world, and the screams we want some people to hear were satanically repressed.
Ilang minuto ang nakalipas, narinig kong nagtanong muli si Trace.
"How about you, sinong kamukha mo?"
I smiled. "Mommy ko."
Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko sa bag at pinakita ang family picture sa cellphone ko. Nagpapalit palit ng tingin si Trace sa family picture at sa akin.
"You do look like her! And you have a younger brother? Anong grade na siya ngayon?"
Huminga ako nang malalim bago magsalita. "Erm... namatay sila ng mommy ko sa car accident before I turned fifteen. But if he's alive now, siguro grade five na siya ngayon."
Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Trace at ilang segundong napatitig sa akin.
"Sorry..."
"Okay lang."
Trace come forward and hugged me. "Alice, you have me."
I blinked as I looked at the beaming sunlight from the dancing tree leaves. Everytime I looked at it before, it was gray to me, but it looked a bit golden now, shining.
I was silent for a moment before I nod my head.
I feel a little less empty after the PE class ended, and my stomach was at peace.
Matapos ang usapan namin ni Trace mula sa field, sa tingin ko'y mas lumalim ang tiwala namin sa isa't-isa. He was more open to me than ever, ngunit may mga kuryosidad pa ring nanatili sa akin.
I still feel a little discouraged because he's not telling me everything, but I realized that I don't need to know what is it if he's not comfortable to share.
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For now, I'll just act clueless until he's ready. Isinaisip kong hindi lahat ng bagay ay hindi ko kailangang alamin o malaman.
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