---
Chapter 7: Waiting Hurts Louder
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SHa39HKrv
The night after he left the letter, Ren couldn’t sleep.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoATpEC6wlg
He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark, every breath heavier than the last. His chest felt hollow, like something had been pulled out and left gaping. He kept replaying the moment—kneeling at the music room door, slipping the letter beneath it, walking away without turning back.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVAZ2VU0Hf
He wondered if Haruki had picked it up.
If he had read it.
If he had cried.
If he had laughed.
If he had felt anything at all.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDfSPhjBwt
The silence that followed was unbearable.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM78UglmMPH
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjDGprQYEx
---
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi7PbBFg22
By morning, Ren’s eyes were red from not crying.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSE95zZjjlf
He went to school early, even though his stomach churned with dread. Every hallway felt tighter than usual. Every voice sounded too loud, every whisper too close.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntYqjM5B8P
When he passed the music room, the lights were off. The door was closed. No sign of Haruki.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yVNYqGN7t
He didn’t check if the letter was still there.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT41gfRxktA
He couldn’t.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7bdIo2pt4
What if it wasn’t?
What if it had been torn apart?
What if Haruki had never even seen it—never cared to pick it up?
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75EIuR5cnn
The thoughts twisted inside him like vines around his ribs. He couldn’t breathe properly. He sat at his desk during homeroom, eyes on the door, waiting.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGMFp3KnSz
But Haruki didn’t come.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThiiwKmSln
Not that period.
Not the next.
Not the next.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUjgFr2Nff
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGwLni1Zyy
---
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeqaQ13SJH
Ren wandered to the rooftop during lunch, where no one else ever went. The sky was overcast. The wind was cold. He sat against the fence and pulled out the second copy of the letter—yes, he had written two.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqMO9tyOLG
Just in case the first one never made it.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpi0YEhPZ11
He read it again.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKIi8iFhRn
By the time he reached the last line—
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUJHnMIErL
> “You were my favorite part of this life.”
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcsVcLFle1
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09IyfmWxkA
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrKOvC0aJh
—his hands were trembling.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjqVZxYcbS
“What if I made it worse?” he whispered to no one.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6rsqI6zEN
> What if Haruki hated him now more than ever?
What if reopening the wound only pushed him further away?
What if silence had been safer?
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeqGpnxucV
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5btJYqjcRn
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0imjka9bL
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28A8fER9yc
---
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxj1ermepUl
That night, Ren sat at his desk and scribbled in his notebook, page after page. Letters he’d never send. Versions of the same truth, rewritten a thousand ways:
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCJS2zKSJe
> “I didn’t mean to break you.”
“I just wanted to be held.”
“I thought I was saving myself when I said I loved you. But maybe I was destroying us.”
“If you throw the letter away… I understand.”
“If you feel nothing… I deserve that.”
“But please… please don’t hate me.”
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbVbpaBP5h
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBr2zDAcT2
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnIgPYMdCF
He stared at the mess of ink and paper around him. His hands were stained with graphite. His heart, with fear.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jhbT2fkoF
For the first time in a long time, Ren realized he wasn’t just scared of being unloved.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmN61uyovg
He was scared of being unforgiven.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNWV9M5hrc
Because if Haruki couldn’t forgive him—
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQW9E7y3Y2b
Then maybe he truly was the monster everyone whispered about.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIW79X9aIb
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR2GsjTj36
---
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapidbG9foa
The next
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9W2JyWvSi
day, Ren sat at his desk, eyes on the door.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7C3Fh6EqFb
And still…
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqylf21gbV
Haruki didn’t come to school.
55Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53LPZzUk8W
---
ns216.73.216.238da2
