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八月二十日，天氣是大雷雨警報373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lXp6zIF9Z
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpe8ARVtMK
雖然身體已經累到快要拿不住筆，池水瞬間淹沒口鼻、強行灌入肺部的後遺症仍讓我經常覺得呼吸困難，即使四周明明隨處都是空氣，卻因為看不見也摸不著而在幻想裡窒息。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFfItuDoH0
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoC3PXNoml
但我必須繼續寫；要把昨天跟今天的日記一次寫完。不然若是又等一場昏迷之後醒來去回憶這可怕的一切……我怕潛意識會再次想逃避自己跟弟弟從今天開始被監禁在這個家的事實。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhudCjhebK6
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTT6ZDSCvCb
必須紀錄才行……因為想要活下去。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszFrcDOuW2
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJUZ4cfW6b
反正昨天已經無法挽回了。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8c17z4nGRM
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAhaQH1Xm5
¶¶¶373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWs5qRAZQWU
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGqzZsNYxF
……我是不是死了？373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVXbCqXGcJ
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuib8zWEsK0
才剛反射性這麼想著，視線朦朧、腦袋發脹、想咳嗽嘔吐卻連坐起身都沒辦法的各種不舒服就猛地襲捲而來，刷新存在感似的拚命告訴我還活著的事實。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DUpqTkKMX
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSgyEs8GeY
我費了不少力氣才看清自己當時躺在家裡客廳的沙發上，茶几旁電子鐘顯示為十九號的接近下午四點而已，從落水到恢復意識的時間比想像中還要短暫。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLg9bK2Fycw
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebNPdn82aj
……哈哈，我好奇怪喔。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdTf49rNuL
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoC8OhaTZbz
該說麻痺了還是早就有著不知不覺扭曲的心理準備……現在想來我對於剛從鬼門關繞過一回的想法冷靜到自己都覺得恐怖。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvnv00c8WT
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLG3Y2PU6a
以前看動畫還有瀕死經驗分享的網路頻道，大部份都說那些時刻會看見人生跑馬燈、看見白光……或者去到從不曾見過的地方、已逝去的親友會出現在面前等等。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgUYPno21B
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZpmcUwtLu
我倒是沒有看見奶奶或者跳樓自殺的朋友來接我，只有全身彷彿快要爆裂的痛楚、五官全部失常像被包裹進一個泡泡中；陷入耳鳴不斷放大的寂靜……以及一片漆黑剎那吞噬掉所有。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3Gsccm6eZ
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6286YZVH5
就連害怕還有擔心弟弟的時間，都沒有。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmv4OH2lYOQ
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYl40Yq5V9
「黎真？黎真？你醒來了？感覺還好嗎？」用托盤端著一杯溫水跟毛巾從廚房走出，媽媽在看見我睜開眼睛後就立刻來到沙發旁，臉上寫滿擔憂。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uSp2Z0tlU
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuk2ZuV5JZB
「怎麼這麼不小心呢？竟然會掉進池塘裡去……幸好秋英阿姨比較早回來聽到聲音趕過去才發現你溺水，差點把媽媽嚇死了！」聽到對話聲，秋英阿姨也從客房走來客廳，頭髮還有些濕漉感覺剛梳洗過，一邊安慰著媽媽總之只要我有醒來了就好。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3wari61pU
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjr6PqfyRnf
對於媽媽的關心，我沒有搖頭也沒有點頭。當下除了幾乎沒有力氣回應外，另一方面則是心裡已經不知道……她們到底誰才希望我活著、還是都希望我死掉最好。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWX0tGPYEp5
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIyyQvUOOH
『喜歡我送你的生日禮物嗎？』373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4v1UMcAU6
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VnAkREP59
落水前聽到的那句話跟夢魘一樣，直到現在都會時不時伴隨劇烈的耳鳴一起出現。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMqhxLBF6c
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDGIVJiGVv
最後，我做了個在外人眼裡或許跟自殺沒有兩樣；但自己卻覺得可能是唯一生機的決定。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKrDsf2g6T
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbuIWOFEF4
「媽……」聲音沙啞到感覺不屬於自己似的，但我仍用盡全力抬起右手食指，指向了站在媽媽身後的她。「是秋英阿姨……推我下水的。」373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuhHuenVOM
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfcFTWMfzV
短短一句話，頓時凝結住了整個空氣。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDBZlUCQKu
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWv98gESxE
蟲洞裡流逝的時間或許都比那一刻還快些。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRKMgEUqQC
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62wTJ3fu9f
「……秋英，黎真說的是——」還沒來得及將滿腹疑惑問出口，那個已知答案的問題就被一把猛然插進脖頸的長剪刀給永遠封死在與辣拌菜醃料相同顏色、自插入邊緣緩慢淌出的液體中。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvawiHjX41
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsl2hvC37cM
而我也就這樣靜靜躺在沙發上，透過模糊視線撐著，直到看見媽媽的背影於好幾次肢體扭曲、抓撓、乾咳的掙扎中圓睜驚恐的雙眼緩緩倒下。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirLY3Mi9V4
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXimGUQ55S
……好睏。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHD7Lpg2wx
373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtORASBrWn
……我要睡了。373Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTcup0tIul
