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八月二十日，天氣是大雷雨警報324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cJ05XgZPW
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lojsgdlhq
雖然身體已經累到快要拿不住筆，池水瞬間淹沒口鼻、強行灌入肺部的後遺症仍讓我經常覺得呼吸困難，即使四周明明隨處都是空氣，卻因為看不見也摸不著而在幻想裡窒息。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVr7BAPjO2L
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlC1LGVWJ0W
但我必須繼續寫；要把昨天跟今天的日記一次寫完。不然若是又等一場昏迷之後醒來去回憶這可怕的一切……我怕潛意識會再次想逃避自己跟弟弟從今天開始被監禁在這個家的事實。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6D5aFDWo5
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OwSPh6Nyk
必須紀錄才行……因為想要活下去。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0iiLKfd85
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反正昨天已經無法挽回了。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8YltPophc
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¶¶¶324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWWoDI8L65
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……我是不是死了？324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X9M3qUbLk
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCLGpNcv9B
才剛反射性這麼想著，視線朦朧、腦袋發脹、想咳嗽嘔吐卻連坐起身都沒辦法的各種不舒服就猛地襲捲而來，刷新存在感似的拚命告訴我還活著的事實。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMn6vJNEli
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcvdQthTr4
我費了不少力氣才看清自己當時躺在家裡客廳的沙發上，茶几旁電子鐘顯示為十九號的接近下午四點而已，從落水到恢復意識的時間比想像中還要短暫。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZ0JCT3fN7
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoyzlqUOLE
……哈哈，我好奇怪喔。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8RIuKOrUg
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAfjAqpwTh
該說麻痺了還是早就有著不知不覺扭曲的心理準備……現在想來我對於剛從鬼門關繞過一回的想法冷靜到自己都覺得恐怖。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdOQYjb4xx
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsPD4VRGL2
以前看動畫還有瀕死經驗分享的網路頻道，大部份都說那些時刻會看見人生跑馬燈、看見白光……或者去到從不曾見過的地方、已逝去的親友會出現在面前等等。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAtBRtq79t
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOj9hOJvOw
我倒是沒有看見奶奶或者跳樓自殺的朋友來接我，只有全身彷彿快要爆裂的痛楚、五官全部失常像被包裹進一個泡泡中；陷入耳鳴不斷放大的寂靜……以及一片漆黑剎那吞噬掉所有。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivljbBjZZn
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87y94kX3VQ
就連害怕還有擔心弟弟的時間，都沒有。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7EV0ev81O
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOu96rnJJw6
「黎真？黎真？你醒來了？感覺還好嗎？」用托盤端著一杯溫水跟毛巾從廚房走出，媽媽在看見我睜開眼睛後就立刻來到沙發旁，臉上寫滿擔憂。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfegfIg1irX
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZWvCpLOAL
「怎麼這麼不小心呢？竟然會掉進池塘裡去……幸好秋英阿姨比較早回來聽到聲音趕過去才發現你溺水，差點把媽媽嚇死了！」聽到對話聲，秋英阿姨也從客房走來客廳，頭髮還有些濕漉感覺剛梳洗過，一邊安慰著媽媽總之只要我有醒來了就好。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKbi7efm6x
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMieleweqw
對於媽媽的關心，我沒有搖頭也沒有點頭。當下除了幾乎沒有力氣回應外，另一方面則是心裡已經不知道……她們到底誰才希望我活著、還是都希望我死掉最好。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPPEcsB63k
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YdBcExVoq
『喜歡我送你的生日禮物嗎？』324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6awcjHvQh
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCZUAM4EEo
落水前聽到的那句話跟夢魘一樣，直到現在都會時不時伴隨劇烈的耳鳴一起出現。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6psAJ3JoYF
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt2eokRP5A
最後，我做了個在外人眼裡或許跟自殺沒有兩樣；但自己卻覺得可能是唯一生機的決定。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCnHcXSwJm
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CdCO1oMcu
「媽……」聲音沙啞到感覺不屬於自己似的，但我仍用盡全力抬起右手食指，指向了站在媽媽身後的她。「是秋英阿姨……推我下水的。」324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uk8O359x3
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8HD5fsgFk
短短一句話，頓時凝結住了整個空氣。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jTeA1GGW5
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRqXlvHA7o
蟲洞裡流逝的時間或許都比那一刻還快些。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgtb1h5T1r
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYnYrkhCGF
「……秋英，黎真說的是——」還沒來得及將滿腹疑惑問出口，那個已知答案的問題就被一把猛然插進脖頸的長剪刀給永遠封死在與辣拌菜醃料相同顏色、自插入邊緣緩慢淌出的液體中。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LmZLyOUVu
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx9lkf2uJa
而我也就這樣靜靜躺在沙發上，透過模糊視線撐著，直到看見媽媽的背影於好幾次肢體扭曲、抓撓、乾咳的掙扎中圓睜驚恐的雙眼緩緩倒下。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKIdNArMZA
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13KCpcX1FV
……好睏。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaf2t1b2It
324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjYoO57rIZ
……我要睡了。324Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60YpSilEZv
