09.260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jGJmUeLzT
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQTLwoe1Jq
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNFVHEBek1
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ftlTFFzu3
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ697kzqOmmh
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2F7u9TCtp5
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjGEbpMBga
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpIqLiTw4N
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7A0pedDboC
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ415z8PywEo
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84DTmyuUCE
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFShl6mhmEw
「怎麼了？」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWraLPUd6BJ
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwdDFj71MO
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNO789W7BBD
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinPjZJmbog
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHfc8zyNLb
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLG6ZCJP40
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7IooCBjDq
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduXmjZft5p
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvmR4ntVhS
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoBB1zaWAr
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9O6BcjZ5tn
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvf9yNV7Bia
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DWiU3NMHi
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWzujO6lSN
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6cQQlBnWw
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1og0wLl1G9
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR9XVsiCBT
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUke3ks9ne6
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkkg0VB6oy
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhe0LzvBC3n
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaDnsYANPe
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfGsbAa9bZ
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h4BHYiY0H
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFCTqSBnMm
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTASYs36dxq
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCNVHcEoyy
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qsDLNNgct
「也要。」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6paywxot7
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx7cEvuw0f
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsIkyEEvz4
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7x4A5scf1r
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OZ0QBe4Uc
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVENzieUvj
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHNu1GUjWY
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTljyfWxfC
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQzyIelVf3
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNF3KTh8i5p
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw1LtsXgLi
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfLEr2D0TD
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9kMAucyQY
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gncSHpQV5
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aFaAUJlDh
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlAa9ztMl7
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjQDnUNE0R
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkL380Dd9a
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEDCZEwgHu
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKpcNSBf1i
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfeNJgj7Ur
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIfc3Qhj67
「愛的本質？」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpF6VXNaF7x
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXeiswp1Lp
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUh19swwQp
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtUP52eWeZ
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspfn4y6iGl
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPUsaMkL3j
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjinnxyk3Te
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxvqiSDDER
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqzNyUo16h
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbNTk84jTb
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ319IqGg4XC
「新年快樂。」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEvielD6Cz
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxDLro2eh0
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRLrzkttPg
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjluhvPkGO
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIMHal9Pco
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCahefg43x
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusskPILwTq
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOx2uMiz2e
「新年快樂，傑。」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHNBbItQNx
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHyR0OCvM7
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──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Yhlzo1tEP
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10.260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡte6wMgGotf
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFD5UwVeOa
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3JdgBB4Tf
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftwKlrpkgg
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrvl8pwJ0U
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekEHHg8998
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQCdo88TSh
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYn4dEfYpg2
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSx6ejsvJJ
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEZW0IzlWU
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxYy4pxge6
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQSxtUSncj
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdZHj9yCHn
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvbpJzUxtR
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvm4JMxYdeS
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLiw3QP6BU
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQ4Zn81u6h
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5kNDqgTWE
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmec2wrdMZP
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2h4HztCyt
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPSYrZ1Ewu
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8M1kryiFg
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oVJrTrOT0
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AkxefbVKe
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXRzCrzMbo
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUcv35q6OX
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4F4E8rfhf
他對我說：不進來嗎？260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaN2LnpdfT
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZH93gHA5j
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrpLm1MUit
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJ3JgJUkX1
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTrQWCG2hU
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpNPxDf1cI
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNiffiOX6t
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uZxc8JPb0
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWY9AsIJXQG
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBcCuZv2nV
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXrJ9bmLqJ
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguZx368YGG
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcUhqlJNcJ
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就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡps9Abdb6G0
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我好像從未了解過他。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6UsP6YAtd
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260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AzCQirfPZ
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIDQtSEApy
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KJIzYu1UV
「是你嗎？」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCzN7gsAgH
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgylm4CbAq
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrMmr7CONT
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPwEciXF5K
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceVA5j2bwK
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5m8J1u8OwL
夏油傑笑了一下。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ItpLKeMJu
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkwIRsRgIY
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaEnN9jluL
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqCRqrupjF
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8jatgw9sb
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqTBLOJ27e
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXg87rsdgbx
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVi16uDQXi
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaGBzQnvtx
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQvlWESl8M
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUjGQZrCM2
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都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMG4zoEKR7
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUD94p5jYL
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9yhDkIRku
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUyA6Fu9my
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJmT5zsaVZ
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZfhql4XbE
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJqPptwVIp
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1Hrs0PnjR
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dY6TOC8Z4
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcpGpUADKG
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就這樣吧。260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0Q5pSedhI
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260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCvXAxpGcx
260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvT4VfNkImD
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOkyf155xe
240815 10 二修260Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmhD0zTHPz
