日正當空,湖面蒸氣騰升,空氣濕翳悶侷。旅客遊湖興致大減,看見湖側小艇租賃店的殘破裝潢,僅餘的愉悅心情消磨殆盡。323Please respect copyright.PENANAWRlFkAAKkm
323Please respect copyright.PENANA6iOPE0HE93
四十年前,他一手創立這曾經輝煌一時的小艇租賃店。哪個他?就是那個身穿發黃白色背心、正在店內老舊梳化上打盹的瘦削老頭。323Please respect copyright.PENANA82fWdSIqrR
323Please respect copyright.PENANABb4Je1KjNp
一個女人走入店內,輕推他的臂膀,硬生打斷他夢中的快樂家庭生活。「先生,我來租小艇的。」323Please respect copyright.PENANARdIfCzS4QI
323Please respect copyright.PENANAxfMGU0cy21
他氣得想要破口大罵,但千萬粗言穢語最終化成一聲不耐煩的嘆息示現人前。嶙峋雙手硬撐身子坐起來,乾癟雙腳好不容易才成功對準、穿上拖鞋,以飄落黃葉似的搖曳步姿走到櫃檯,拿出簇新的黑色硬皮簿。「這裡。填資料。」323Please respect copyright.PENANAFRlikqJnjW
323Please respect copyright.PENANAyhA7uwNr4A
「嗯。」女人察覺硬皮簿的簇新與店面的陳舊裝潢格格不入,估計是剛剛更換不久,證明店舖不缺客人。面前的酒鬼應該活得不錯,如果他沒有花太多錢在酒水的話。「填好了。」323Please respect copyright.PENANA2kQLexmHu5
323Please respect copyright.PENANAlnT8NUPT4i
他匆匆收起硬皮簿,沒有瞥望資料一眼。收下按金,三言兩語粗疏講解船槳的使用方法和救生衣的位置後,馬上領著女人前往三號小艇的所在。323Please respect copyright.PENANAIKPbScM7qw
323Please respect copyright.PENANAyCAjjDtOYk
「有關救生衣的使用方法,自己看說明書。」他打個呵欠,彷彿剛才的一連串工作已然耗盡畢生精力。323Please respect copyright.PENANAbfWTS4XtTG
323Please respect copyright.PENANAmrCrI8KKQq
「嗯。」女人不介意他的粗魯無禮,幽幽目送他微駝背影遠去不復見。323Please respect copyright.PENANApX4hua13n4
女人沒有歸還小艇。他想報警,可恨營商牌照早已被吊銷,實在報不得警。恨得牙癢癢的,只好買醉洩憤。323Please respect copyright.PENANAy3L2IBrGLH
323Please respect copyright.PENANA5o2GQdbpBz
醉。忘了恨,忘了痛。323Please respect copyright.PENANAlrHQ2Kd8QP
323Please respect copyright.PENANA0VU0pbj93m
妻女的離開是他畢生最痛。明知她們恐懼自己酒後的狂態,奈何他真的十分需要酒精——打理生意不容易,無數問題只得他一人去處理。壓力大,失眠,唯有栽進酒水裡求安寧。323Please respect copyright.PENANACrJ47W4nNa
323Please respect copyright.PENANAXDPut72WgR
安寧日子終於到來。323Please respect copyright.PENANAisMkfAcfI2
323Please respect copyright.PENANAe7bUiINhYp
妻女離家出走後,家裡沒有半點生氣,死寂氣氛沉重得令人窒息。他憤怒,他難過,他不明白自己為養家奔波勞碌多年有何價值。沒有尋找二人,沒有繼續拼盡全力打理生意。得過且過。有錢買酒就可以,有酒尋夢就可以,有夢安家就可以。夢裡的家,有他有妻有女……323Please respect copyright.PENANAhLfvKjdzGu
323Please respect copyright.PENANAJl6CnjfEXx
一名警員輕推他的臂膀,硬生打斷他夢中的快樂家庭生活。「先生,我們需要你就一宗命案到警署協助調查。」323Please respect copyright.PENANAhlA2bpo75X
「爸:323Please respect copyright.PENANAbJUT428H4s
323Please respect copyright.PENANAv00M0uPPSg
三個月前,我跟丈夫離婚,兒子撫養權歸他。一個月前,媽急病離世。323Please respect copyright.PENANAsh7vwu8R7r
323Please respect copyright.PENANAc83rUCEXjX
我不知道自己該要為何活下去——我在乎的人全都離我而去。若說將來會遇到更多在乎的人,他們終歸離我而去,不是嗎?323Please respect copyright.PENANAtgTzcREWwA
323Please respect copyright.PENANASWeSta9603
被遺棄的滋味十分熬人。我驀地想起你,被我和媽遺棄的你。323Please respect copyright.PENANAPiyh1clz80
323Please respect copyright.PENANA6fR4e9YE6c
你活得好嗎?有否掛念我和媽?你會因我們的離開而反省和戒酒嗎?323Please respect copyright.PENANAODj9traOGw
323Please respect copyright.PENANAkofYyRP6Wd
二十多年來,我們的生活尚算可以,苦樂參半。奈何無論時日如何流逝,我們偶爾仍會想起你。無可否認,你是我們生命的一部分。否定你,就是否認我們生命的一部分。即使懼怕你,我們仍然希望你活得好,證明我們的生命曾經很好。323Please respect copyright.PENANARzNlfbgBG1
323Please respect copyright.PENANAlpas7AbGLp
媽已然沒機會知道你活得可好——這是插在我心裡的一根刺。323Please respect copyright.PENANAfnPUFy97Pc
323Please respect copyright.PENANAwgq4XqxSL7
踏上回憶中的道路,我來到湖邊。想要看看你,卻又害怕看見你。想跟你相認,卻又害怕被你認出。如果你認出我、喚我的名字,我會捨不得去死嗎?不知道,因為你認不出我。323Please respect copyright.PENANA7H7iO4r0nz
323Please respect copyright.PENANA7dKRfC2qzL
我在硬皮簿如實寫上名字,你沒有看。我反倒覺得釋懷——一直猶豫該否自殺,一直幻想你勸阻我的情境,一直誤會世上仍有人會捨不得我……但原來是我想多了,世事從來很簡單。323Please respect copyright.PENANAjqRJsDvLpI
323Please respect copyright.PENANAhhO7ZomU7A
就這樣吧。我累了。323Please respect copyright.PENANAf7hkhjYQTg
323Please respect copyright.PENANAIt4j3Y52oJ
永別!323Please respect copyright.PENANAV0zLzAXFy1
323Please respect copyright.PENANAif6vhjqy7p
女兒上」323Please respect copyright.PENANARKPCngP1uV
夜,無月無星,只有店門前的一盞黃光大燈照亮湖面一隅。風吹,水面輕皺,大燈的倒影隨之輕晃輕動。323Please respect copyright.PENANAjg68lrobvU
323Please respect copyright.PENANACabzjUuGtp
很美。有如久遠記憶中的女兒,妸娜多姿,輪廓分明。323Please respect copyright.PENANAVCLqWMNqk9
323Please respect copyright.PENANACvkScm09iq
手裡的啤酒罐清空了。他用力將空罐扔向大燈的倒影,倒影被空罐泛起的水花打亂本身的晃動節奏,散了、碎了。以為稍等數分鐘後湖面就可以重歸原樣,不,那突如其來的空罐仍在水面中或浮或沉,持續泛起無數大大小小的漣漪。323Please respect copyright.PENANAE2fRItsaQD
323Please respect copyright.PENANA4dTXHSu8RU
不美。有如殮房中的女兒,屍身發脹,面目全非。323Please respect copyright.PENANAYGeksw3Dkx
323Please respect copyright.PENANAhIpr0bwLh2
「我在乎的人全都離我而去……他們終歸離我而去……」女兒在遺書裡無意間吐露出他多年的心聲。「我不知道自己該要為何活下去……」323Please respect copyright.PENANA24p4fKJiIk
323Please respect copyright.PENANADnTHSWvtM1
他又喝完一罐啤酒,再次將它扔向湖面。一罐復一罐,浮浮復沉沉。後來他乾脆省下喝酒的時間,直接將未開封的啤酒罐扔進湖面。啤酒罐被丟光以後,沙灘椅、戶外摺枱、櫃檯的硬皮簿、電話、文具、錢箱、身上的拖鞋、白色背心、運動短褲、內褲相繼遭殃。323Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1QJOmuttG
323Please respect copyright.PENANAsYwejl4tgk
愧疚難當——如果自己當時認出女兒,或許她不會自殺!323Please respect copyright.PENANAcGxiCDgtjm
323Please respect copyright.PENANAW8P9krzaU3
赤條條的他倏忽縱身躍入水裡。寒意徹骨。水質混濁,視野模糊。無視危險,他游向多件漂浮雜物,逐件將它們拾回岸上。看見岸上雜物在自己的努力下慢慢增多,東歪西倒堆疊一起,他心裡更覺踏實,生起奇異的安寧。323Please respect copyright.PENANAYfW3ZES2ES
323Please respect copyright.PENANAzpvXAibBWD
他哭了。323Please respect copyright.PENANA35sUFCbSam
323Please respect copyright.PENANApxZvz2M0IF
為何而哭?為誰而哭?不知道。323Please respect copyright.PENANAcbVXboyPvg
323Please respect copyright.PENANAwXsWIHCL31
不要問,不打算知道。323Please respect copyright.PENANAtncvsK9T7T
323Please respect copyright.PENANAyBS4TZbzjp
他游回岸邊,軟癱地上,粗喘聲中仰望夜空。323Please respect copyright.PENANAXC3t5d81YH
323Please respect copyright.PENANALDzNFuJpFA
筋疲力竭,必須休息。323Please respect copyright.PENANAw81sDlt7sN
323Please respect copyright.PENANAwoxVWVMR93
不。尚有要事未辦。323Please respect copyright.PENANABrquQD5k8i
323Please respect copyright.PENANAsXC6OL0caT
他用盡力氣爬向雜物堆,抽出一罐未開封的啤酒。323Please respect copyright.PENANAuYGT7ecM4r
323Please respect copyright.PENANAyrcdr31UNy
咔——323Please respect copyright.PENANAr7ev6k0Twa
323Please respect copyright.PENANAZkgmrTRsxx
骨碌骨碌骨碌——323Please respect copyright.PENANA9oXONwCEcx
323Please respect copyright.PENANAREwAJlF9FR
嗄——323Please respect copyright.PENANAB7qVcAa7ty
323Please respect copyright.PENANA5gICwYqxfO
人生,但願如此。