視角【男主】#小段子295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4L1B6Cbr6
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最近那些人看我的眼神不太一樣，是一種怪罪的眼神，我不知道是他們變了，還是我變了。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9QUYS6vnL
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一開始看淡，最後的重視已經無法挽救一切。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwpb4Mco1E
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最近諸事不順，還以為水逆了呢，直到現在我遇見了眼前身穿白袍，扎著長馬尾的錢斯彤，她是我的國小同學、青梅竹馬跟摯友，不過對我來說現在她是一名心理醫師。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu1jVFTdFI
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錢斯彤放下筆，直勾勾的盯著我。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHimEWuWA3N
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「最近有什麼事嗎？」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmD6wipp7Od
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「呃…沒有…應該沒有。」正在發呆的我錯愕得回覆了這個問題。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAJoM4kxBD
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「你為什麼來做心理諮商呢？」錢斯彤再次拿起筆，不過她沒有寫字，而是用筆頭輕敲桌面。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rqnzmpPbp
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「被逼的。」我從來都不會把實情說出口。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4BiZlQkl1
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「那你有沒有不舒服或者想跟我聊點什麼？」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvc4rN7yPI9
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「………」我沒有回答，卻看見錢斯彤左手拿著一本像是課本的東西。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpA2CAa9SxJ
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「你還記得嗎…這個。」錢斯彤放下筆，把國小畢業紀念冊翻到我們班一起合照的那頁。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRc8kkrc7Z
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「我記得啊，國小畢業的時候。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡundLQuKT18
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「那你記得這個嗎？」錢斯彤把一兩疊報紙全攤在桌上，斗大的新聞標題寫著《驚傳維冠金龍大樓倒塌事件死亡人數持續攀升》295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡed15NSiYrt
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「記得啊，我姐死在裡面。」我的口氣很平穩，似乎對於這幾年前的事已經釋懷。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VAJ1Pwn6K
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「這個呢？」錢斯彤掏出一個皮夾遞到我面前。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlk8Hr8FFZ3
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「好像在哪裡看過…」我翻着錢包，因為老舊，外面的皮革層層剝落，在翻的同時也掉出一些碎屑。錢包裡已經沒有錢，可是還有一些發票、折價卷、一堆各式各樣的會員卡、一張身份證。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XYtJjG8nr
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民國43年6月14日。那是我爸的生日，那是我爸的身份證，那個就是我爸的錢包。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5yNxqSloK
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「回想起來還是有點自責呢，明明是長子，卻無法從盜匪手中把自己的老爸救出來，讓他就這樣被砍死。」我突然的一段話讓錢斯彤有點錯愕。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZN3kTGuJ1
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「我以為你爸爸…」她驚訝的摀嘴，隨後低頭道歉。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyIRXxN2m1
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「死了就死了，不用道歉。」其實是我經不起道歉，我早已習慣把道歉這種負面動詞的主詞通通改成我自己。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmMslJ2zYX
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「我記得你以前都是班上的第一名，成績很好，尤其是數學。」錢斯彤對著我微笑。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡna4YZxuv03
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「那個能有什麼用，我身邊可以走的都走了。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PEtsIyvhO
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「你有什麼興趣嗎？或讓自己開心的東西？」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3BrGCGjBL
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「我沒對任何事物提起勁過。」我苦澀得對著錢斯彤笑了笑。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JU4Tv1RDg
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「為什麼不嘗試看看呢？這麼沒動力呀？」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUGPOaq2Lw
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「我不想，以前想的時候通通被拒絕了。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBuSYNLfrW
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「誰拒絕你？」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQ3eSlCB9v
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「我媽跟我爸，照理來說我應該要不爽的，可是我沒有，反正他們也死了。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14XAibu5kG
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「冒昧問一下，你還有家人嗎？」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgkHLre0Ps
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「沒有。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmqVjzBFEW
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一陣沉默，詭異的靜。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmCFxdvqQY
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「那…我可以當你的朋友嗎？我想多陪陪你。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonX3LF12Tr
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「妳不會不方便嗎？」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jiSDQ2T8F
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「不會，只要能夠幫你。」錢斯彤投射一道期待的眼神到我臉上。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPfPlenuk6
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「好吧…你要來我家？」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhhnpJyTDf
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_____________________________________295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwnQrJgyhd
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今年是第二年，錢斯彤跟我同居順便拯救我的第二年。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bEqxhMDsy
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「你的病情好轉很多了！」錢斯彤開心的看著我自己親手做的木椅。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsVQ15zeit
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我培養了幾個興趣。能夠幫我分散注意力的興趣。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzgsLIZay7
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「開心嗎？那個送你，我現在有新作品了。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHNdXjLQEj
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「你真的進步很多。」錢斯彤眼眶泛紅，溼潤的瞳孔在鎂光燈照射下閃爍。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6LPMgiQqE
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「我也很謝謝你。是你拉我一把的。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPzNvsHkSn
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我也哭了，想到這幾年來錢斯彤把我當作小孩照顧，絲毫不見一點煩躁的神情，才能造就出這樣的我-有興趣的我。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhF1cxtqIb6
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「雖然很不捨，可是我還是得恢復我的崗位。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuZAZYBUnF
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錢斯彤兩年前向上司提出我的病例報告，才得以有兩年的時間慢慢陪我。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmqNQTHumc
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「好，你回去吧，多多保重，也要和我保持聯絡。」
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「謝謝你，其實蠻有成就感的。」錢斯彤笑了笑，走到鞋櫃前挑選自己的短靴。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWyujERFjI
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「我送你去吧。」我也拿了一雙鞋。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p9nrz33go
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「謝謝。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYuWEY4fav
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我們走下樓，我的車停的位子離公寓有一段距離，需要小走一下。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rxYHU9W24
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又是紅燈。小紅人樹立在LED裡，示意我們不要走過去。當我內心又想抱怨時，想起錢斯彤跟我說過「你可以拿抱怨或生氣的時間，多多想你喜歡的東西，不然可就浪費了。」295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAZhEsTZFr
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突然一輛計程車從對向車道直衝而來，眼看就要撞上錢斯彤，我一把推開她。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fE5Vw3frD
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須臾之間，我看見她的表情。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzBgf6WUvU
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(那是什麼？)我做了一個掛號在內心問自己。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6HXNgyyGu
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之後我就睡著了，什麼都不記得。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFvkPNxd2y
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＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTXaKhKpSu
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一群人在滿是鮮花中間放著一張男子照片的地方，有的泣不成聲，有的雖然沒有哭，仍漏出悲傷的神情，錢斯彤也在。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV1StAEMkq
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「為什麼要救我……」錢斯彤努力拭著一連串下來的淚。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGQDSK8zq4
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啊，原來那是我的喪禮。原來我死了。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbH10bUu5Ci
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看著錢斯彤，有些欣慰，幸好自己擋下來了，幸好死的人是我。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlDnYRv2V0
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雖然知道妳聽不見。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrExvxd4fcR
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「謝謝妳！我終於報答妳了！」我大喊著，沒有一個人理我。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUcJWGOroP
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我覺得全身輕快舒爽。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqgI5vY2cm
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至少我不像那些「家人」，我死時沒有虧欠誰。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmR8Oq4fSy
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很圓滿，很不錯。295Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dzRvAZRz9
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我躺到裡面，又睡著了。
