Want to read the final version of this story in ebook or paperback? It'll be available soon. Sign up for my newsletter to be notified! 😊
143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0m4fmG1kXL
Three Years Later…
Keegan
It’s been three years since Blue was taken away from me. Three agonizingly long years. But it’s almost over now.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KuHa7fngu
It could have been a lot longer. Blue was originally sentenced to eight years in prison. Eight years. Just thinking about that now makes my stomach drop.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgXIFMfjos
I cried out when the sentence was read in the courtroom. Like a fool, I screamed at the panel that convicted him. I screamed at the judge. I couldn’t control myself. The sentence seemed so unfair, so pointless.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0M6x5j1SKj
Naturally, I was thrown out by the bailiff. So I didn’t even get to say goodbye to Blue before he was taken away.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUaAJumEyH
Devastated, I went home to my room at the ranch. I curled up into a ball on my bed and stayed that way for the next week.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuBAh304rF
I didn’t bathe; I barely ate. I just wanted to sleep all the time, to dream that Blue was right next to me, tangled up with me.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nIXtCfV16
I didn’t want to see or speak to anyone. I was mad at the Army, mad at the world, mad at God.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCR9Yp1KPsj
Most of all, I was so goddamn angry at myself. If I hadn’t written everything down in my journal, none of this would’ve happened.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEGBBBJvM2
I didn’t see any way to go on. Not without Blue. Not for eight years, without Blue.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBf7p1O5jc
When I finally emerged from my self-pitying coccoon and started acting somewhat sane, Virginia gave me the letter from Blue.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJ1VRNTY51
He’d intended for me to have it right away. But Holmlund was worried how it would affect me. So he gave the letter to my grandmother and asked her to give it to me when she thought the time was right.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrx7F9FFRLm
I was pissed that she held it for so long. More than pissed. I was fucking furious at both her and Holmlund. How dare they make that decision?143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1B0u2ls1L
I screamed at my grandmother. I told her she had no right to withhold the letter from me. I stormed out of the house and into the barn, saddled Okie and took off at a gallop with the letter still unopened in my jeans pocket.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHECJqgrFq
I didn’t read it until I reached the cabin. I went up to the loft, to the bed where I’d spent so many nights with Blue, ripped open the letter, and read it through, slowly, three times.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILMcGSah9G
Then I cried for what felt like forever.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYdWpGly0E
But after that, I got angry at Blue. I mean, I understood what he was trying to do. He was thinking of me, of what he thought was best for me.
But did he really think I would just walk away and forget I ever knew him? Did he really think I could do that?143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk06zNKHYXT
By the time I headed back toward the house, it was dusk. I took it slow, giving Okie his lead, moving at a gentle pace through the dark. I cried a little more, thinking about my romantic ride through the darkness with Blue several months ago. It seemed like another lifetime, when we did that.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV0O4KNgSb
But I also started thinking about something Holmlund told me earlier when he called to check on me and Virginia literally had to force the phone into my hand.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxrqJhIuqX
“Keegan,” Holmlund said, “do you remember I told you the day the verdict was read that it wasn’t the end, that I still had some tricks up my sleeve?143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡseFimBSdyj
I didn’t answer: I just stood there silently, sulking like a baby. But I was listening.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVnoxVVno5
Holmlund went on, telling me about the Army Clemency and Parole Board.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDc6k1OmPTC
“After nine months, Blue can request clemency from the board. That means his sentence could be set aside completely or at least reduced, if we can convince the board that he deserves it.”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIY98wzA337
And that lit a little flame of hope inside me. Clemency. If anybody deserves clemency, it is Blue Daniels.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXFcihiEaO
First though, we had to get through the initial nine months.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94JBpssie5
It took two months before I was allowed to visit Blue at Fort Leavenworth in Kansas. That’s because at first, he wouldn’t sign the permission form to have me cleared to come to the prison.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t8kRp1OQk
He wouldn’t even make the collect call to the ranch that he was allowed once a week. He called his mother, but not me.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0uu4lhDUk
He was applying tough love, I guess. He wanted me to do what he’d asked me to do in the letter. He wanted me to walk away.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkUyTIKzRi
But I was not going anywhere. And I was going to make Blue talk to me.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHpD7f87U7
So I drove to Tulsa, to his mom’s house. A sympathetic Maria had told me when he was supposed to call her, and when he did, she answered and then handed the phone to me, walking away to give us some privacy.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBlUGIGph1
I just stood there for a minute, holding the phone, debating what to say.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKo7LyhFPOq
“Hello?” I heard Blue say. “Mama?”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUm4nbEeVu
Then I exploded. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvxWVyN5Jt
Silence on the other end. And then, finally, his voice, weak and uncertain. “Keegan?”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhV8tXRrVbZ
“Answer my question!” I snapped. “What is wrong with you? What do you think you’re doing, cutting me out like this? Do you know what it’s doing to me, Blue? Do you?”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DXeOh3h5I
He didn’t answer, so I barreled on.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mpL4Yd0mx
“How dare you send me a letter like that and then just expect me to walk away. Like I could even do that. What the hell were you thinking, huh? And, then, then, you pull this crap of not letting me come see you, not calling me?”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAhlW57rrX
He was still not responding, and I was working myself into a frenzy.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0aVAj1ogF
“You’re just a . . . a stubborn jackass! I’m not going anywhere, do you understand me? You are stuck with me. If I have to drive up to that prison and stand outside all day, every day, ‘til you sign that form, I’ll do it. You are not getting rid of me that easy. So don’t even think I’m walking away from you!”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSW7OKVmta
Still, there was silence. I began to wonder if he’d hung up. But listening closer, I could hear his shallow breathing. The kind of breaths you take when you’re crying.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4bP3BwUnb
“For God’s sake, Blue, say something!”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7frised1se
There was another long pause. “Eight years is too long, Keegan,” he finally said, sighing, his voice small and miserable. “It’s just too long. I can’t let you wait around for me, don’t you get that? I can’t do it.”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvGNlr863T
“You have no choice. Do you get that, Blue? You. Have. No. Choice.”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBr84Jjzg7
My body couldn’t decide at that moment whether to start screaming again or break down crying.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZCIdrEYAG
“I’m waiting.” Now I'm half shouting and half crying. “And you are not shutting me out!"143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JWNwI6LNC
I let my words hang there a moment. Then I went on a tad more calmly.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawktY9l3xF
"Besides, it won’t be eight years. Don’t you remember the clemency board Holmlund talked about? We already have a plan on that. So don’t think you’re getting rid of me. I told you, I will come up to that prison and stand outside of it every fucking day until you let me in. And I mean it!”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEmSHDzPay
He did eventually sign the form, and Maria and I started taking turns driving up to see Blue. And he started calling me at the ranch as often as he could.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0RezY52mV
It wasn’t nearly enough. But it was better than nothing.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRq63iI4Qiu
And that’s where Blue's music started to help. It was out there, being consumed, being shared, moving hearts and minds. Frasier Bryson was doing everything in his power to tell Blue's story, to advocate for him.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdU0RZbJM0d
At the same time, Virginia was pulling political strings, calling in favors.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YteUrmlyV
All of us—me, Holmlund, Virginia, Maria, Bryson —threw ourselves into the effort to get clemency for Blue.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsN8DSPPXfb
His conviction generated headlines around the world, and we did everything possible to keep his name and face and cause in the public eye for those nine long months before he could apply.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJrn9l5UCT
And public opinion started to change. You could feel it.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPvjPEVOch
I mean, there were still plenty of haters out there. I tried to avoid seeing the venom online. We still had to be careful with our own security.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XIo21RTU8
But by the time Holmlund filed an appeal with the clemency board, public sympathy for Blue seemed at an all-time high.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBSBDR8F2J
And when the board met, Cunny’s mom miraculously showed up to speak on Blue’s behalf, saying she believed clemency was what her son would want.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSQxkUqfJn
Blue broke down and sobbed as she spoke. So did I.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFXLD65G8t
Even with all that, though, it took almost a year. The board dithered and delayed its decision. Holmlund said there must have been some strong opposition to granting Blue clemency.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKCKXQDGFm
But finally—finally—we got word he would be released just after his three-year incarceration date.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukQIMLY8N9
And now, I’m on the highway, almost to the Leavenworth exit. I’m going to pick him up, bring him home to the ranch.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0XqTUWPRI
Maria was kind enough to let me come by myself, to give us a little time alone together. She’s waiting at the ranch for him, along with Bryson.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafmosnMNjX
They’re a couple now. I guess when they met, they made an instant connection. Kind of like me and Blue.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2X1m1yMau
They were scared to tell Blue about it at first. They didn’t know how he’d react. But he’s been okay with it. In fact, I think he’s thrilled.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0iLnuqmVo
“Who would have thought?” he laughed in our last phone call. “Bryson and my mom.”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDtakS9254
I’m beyond excited to get Blue out of prison. My body and my soul have ached for him every day, every second, that’s he been away. I’ve driven myself crazy thinking about what he’s gone through at Leavenworth.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYx08IT8RtY
I can’t wait for him to touch me, hold me, make love to me. I want him to be rough and tender and crazed with passion and wild with adoration, all at the same time.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOKZnyQSsq
But I’m also nervous about our reunion. About how it will be between us. Three years is a long time, and inevitably, we’ve both changed.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdUQOt2LPC
Blue’s sadder, more introspective. I can see it in his eyes when I visit, hear it in his words.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjqsS4DPAq
He’s been a model prisoner, teaching music classes to inmates, writing more songs. He’s a better, stronger person now, I think.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbfecq35GV
I’ve changed, too. At least I hope I have. The last three years have helped me grow up.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf36d1oJqSh
I’ve spent a lot of my time with my grandmother, helping care for her. That nagging cough that’s dogged her was diagnosed as lung cancer not long after Blue’s conviction.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXlyYH9LGy
Just when it felt like we were getting closer, building the kind of relationship we should have had all along, I may be about to lose her.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmhB0Pe221
I don’t know how much longer she has. The doctors say probably not more than a year. But they don’t understand what a tough old bird Virginia Cooke is. She may surprise us all.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uqn9bci3x
She’s still prickly, still regularly gets under my skin. But I understand her a lot better now.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoBRUNdVxm
I’m about to finish my degree at OU. I couldn’t bring myself to go back to Ikana, assuming they’d have let me come back. It just wouldn’t be the same.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucgo6gknKK
And I’ve applied for law school. Not because my grandmother wanted it, but because, after what we’ve experienced, I’m a lot more interested in becoming a lawyer than I ever thought I’d be.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVb4OxMaq3H
I might still go into journalism. But I like the idea of having a law degree as well.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbD5x1Um9sb
In a surprising turn of events, my brother is now a student at Ikana. Buick is apparently breaking hearts all over campus.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXascvde99
But that’s another story.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZLl4kO9Vp
I see the Leavenworth sign up ahead and turn on my signal.143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HDKNY8fC7
“I’m almost there, Blue,” I say. “I’m almost there.”143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03tZn7PiEg
~~~
Only two chapters left in this story! The final version of Tangled Up in Blue will soon be available in ebook and paperback. Sign up for my newsletter, and you'll be the first to know when it's ready!
Interested in Keegan’s sexy brother Buick? He's got a searing story of his own that will start soon here on Penana! Be sure to follow me so you don't miss You Belong to Me. 😊
143Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1rKL2cIgs
