EP 4 沒差別320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38lnAdaTob
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我相信你也可以就此丟下自己320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrk1HrLjWLl
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「所以姐姐⋯離開吧⋯」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0u0hhA3Og
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「離開吧⋯」
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兔子正在試圖脫離擁抱
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「離開吧」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHxaw9sFoL
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披著兔子皮的野獸要脫離擁抱
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「離開吧」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDV9Se2B9Z
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我拼命嘗試著，去阻止披著兔子皮的野獸脫離自己的擁抱
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「離開吧⋯！姐姐！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmvuWAMtzL
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不肯承認如此現實的我拼命嘗試著，但臂肌之所以發痛一事，證明的事實是一個，去阻止披著兔子皮的野獸脫離自己的捕獵，是一件違反弱肉強食的狀況
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都說了，從一開始，自己才不是玩狩獵遊戲的那個
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我是被迫的
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當山貓遇上的，不是兔子，而是老虎，那麼獵人獵物的身份就會交換，因為弱者一方，是自己320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1f3mMe8R3
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因為意志較軟弱，視野更模糊的那個，是人家
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我拼命嘗試著，去阻止披著兔子皮的野獸脫離自己的擁抱320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTeLxfYq5J
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但是，我無法控制這頭惡魔320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcXTpHEzbE
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「究竟要人家說多少次呀？！離開吧！別抱著人家！赤羽姐姐！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS1SlnKBNd
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「滾開！放手！放手！！放手！！！」
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「離良世遠一點！」
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腹部沒有肋骨的保護，是大部分生物最脆弱的體位，尤其那雙掌是可以推行自己得倒下的力量
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被推出的那口氣是炎熱，睾酮的分泌在當下是破錶的狀態，這份激動是攻擊性，亦充滿困惑感，始終攻擊性的出現是為了保護，但找不到敵人
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頭上的壓力感，壓垮了思維的線路320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbm2eIgNBC
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「為什麼」
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我無法、亦只能把視線鎖死在威脅源、也是缺失感的源頭，看著震抖的兩瞳中沒有自己，只是一隻兔子
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披貓咪皮的兔仔
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「⋯對、對不起⋯對唔住(對不起)⋯唔好再迫我啦(不要再強迫我了)⋯」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpd20L14vWW
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女孩唸著不是日語的語言，在那聲音的她正發出的，彷彿才是本音，之所以如此説，是因為那嗓腔更響、更清、更符合聲帶的音域、語調
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一手拋走身上的兔子皮，老虎的真正臉目甚至貓科也不是，是犬科，再也不隱，也不藏的
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如果獨居的貓科，犬齒尖鋭的原因，是為了把獵物一擊必殺，那麼群居的犬科尖牙，是為了重傷獵物，從而慢慢地消耗其體力，以確保捕獵
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以為女孩的弱勢是裝出來的，卻在頓下發現，這份弱勢是為了保護自己，透過掩飾自己恐怖的一臉，去收起犬齒，去「饒恕」自己
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去可憐自己
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「為什麼 —— 」
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「閉嘴！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYKfFh2lvu
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「為什麼你這麼蠢啊？！」
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可憐，不可憐嗎？
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意志動搖十分，凡事也像牆頭草，兩頭擺，沒有主見的自己：堅持理由的缺失，沒有了自我，乃格格不入的原因
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「為什麼你不肯相信我？！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoE1b9GVHuE
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「人家我也很痛苦呀？！」
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「人家也不想這樣！」
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「可是⋯可是⋯良世⋯想不到其他方法了⋯⋯」
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「對不起⋯良世⋯太蠢了⋯」
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「可是⋯為什麼？」
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「為什麼⋯⋯你這麼蠢啊？」
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「還是説⋯你是故意讓人家傷心？」
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「還是說⋯⋯」
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大自然容納介乎於弱者和強者之間的存在
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大自然不容納這些中間者們擁有野心
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「你根本⋯你根本不愛良世⋯」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeY0vneC0hX
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqPK8dHjqj
「你根本害怕去放下人家！」
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女孩大叫，向自己喝斥
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「因為你只是想讓良世傷害自己」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQC8XfjGlg
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRz3m7pmTa
「因為你覺得不這樣做⋯人家會討厭你⋯」
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犬齒四隻，上頭有白光影，紅眼的映像，現在，真的是自己
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「你不明白為什麼我會害怕嗎？難道？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50TGLN8bi2
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「我拒絕是因為我愛你們」
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因為不是什麼獵物或獵人
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只是水無月 賀羽 和 新井 良世
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「⋯我或許⋯是個小孩子」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZuDGxG0nP
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「我或許很蠢⋯」
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「不代表人家我是傻瓜」
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「人家知道自己⋯我知道⋯」
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「我記得」
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伸手過來時，身體稍稍一縮，唯獨是已經貼了在地板上，沒有地方可以後退
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不知道什麼時候，滾熱成為了溫暖，溫暖着面上的面頰，特別是傷口，特別是曾經造成的傷口
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疤痕
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那是在一開始
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我該受的痛傷
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如果那時候，沒有了眼球的話，我活該
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因為我自討苦吃
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「我記得良世⋯控制不住⋯」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXznAvC433
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「我記得我控制不到⋯傷害了姐姐⋯」
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「對不起⋯」
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「人家我知道」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcH0dzS8X6F
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「我會傷害你們」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3KAxljLsQ
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因為
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我不值得被可憐
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「我也不想再次發生」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LeMXhunQp
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「⋯那種恐怖的事情」
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「姐姐」
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愛之深責，打是疼、罵是愛320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsv9IXpbzF
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深纏險溺的，是我320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8ovyg911m
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「乖⋯良世不要動⋯」
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他的手正卸著自己的衣服，我害怕，拚命地掙脫著
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沒有用
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我試著大叫，大聲呼救，叫人來救我
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我是啞吧320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33KgtJ0z7v
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「！！！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiJD6R1F2i
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淚水流出，同時心中只有無盡的害怕，我瞪大眼睛，看著正對自己動手動腳的他⋯⋯他是我信任之人
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他是我哥哥⋯⋯320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8hkpSJNPq
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為什麼
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為什麼他要對自己做出如此令人家覺得可怕的事
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我不想這樣320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0dJqLgdxN
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但我無法反應
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我只能哭
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我只能讓淚水流出
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看著那陰險的神容，逐漸靠近
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以表情告訴他，自己的感受，然而看到我一面驚恐的樣子，他似乎更興奮，更加動粗
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壓住手腕的力度更大，成人的體重幾乎全部施加於膝蓋上
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好痛320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjS0bphQrO
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「！！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH4kKMTJ8r
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一個使勁地把我的上衣扯開，抓開自己的上衣，襯衫上的鈕扣就被強行拆下來，然後他又強硬地除下我的褲子，那怕自己的雙腿在亂動也好，彷彿對我的掙扎毫不在意
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始終我一直怎樣掙扎也好，手腳都早被他緊緊地綁起來了，限制了一切的自己，此刻我唯可望住他魚肉自己，除了絕望和無助外⋯⋯只有恐懼
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哥哥⋯⋯為什麼⋯⋯
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明明⋯明明⋯你說⋯
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會保護良世的
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「嘻⋯」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7saK98fQp
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他露出一可怕的表情，恐怖地笑著，不寒而慄的一笑，像是在自己身上找到了什麼好東西
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看到他那表情我可真的是快要嚇死，心中叫著不要，繼續大幅搖動身體，要擺開他的手
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「不要動啦⋯⋯」
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「哈！呼唔！哈！哈！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9vPdmNrGO
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聲音發不出來
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更沒有出口的存在和逃離的機會
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不要不要不要！不要不要不要！320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bKG7AyvfE
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「喂⋯我說不要動啊⋯⋯」
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「哈！呼！唔哈！！哈！呼！呼！！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleGK9buf9L
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我不要不要不要！320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqMyZrJIOv
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不要不要啊！！320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6VAD6wgbD
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「我説⋯⋯」
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沒有人聽到自己吶喊
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沒有人知道自己的痛楚
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沒有人會來
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更加沒有人會救自己
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無論多麼不想被這樣侵犯下去，即使怎樣嘗試掙脫，也擺脫不了
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「不要動！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3G6b8usJzv
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「？！」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCORIbVRpn
「吱嗚！咕——咽！！呼！嗚呼！！」
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他伸來一拳，揍在我肚上，亦痛在我的心上，我再一次哭了，好痛⋯快停下來⋯
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「真的是⋯⋯嘻⋯⋯」
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他面上顯出一個邪笑，我看到後哭得更是厲害的說
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「嘻嘻⋯真好⋯⋯」
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他伸出手，開始撫觸我的身體，那對大大的手摸著我的肚皮，一路爬上去⋯
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嗚哇⋯⋯放手⋯⋯320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJG56KV1V8
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身體被當作玩具一樣，卻我是一個人，不是玩偶，能隨別人的意思翻開肚子和心臟，無奈哥哥他正在這樣繼續
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或許他已經看不見良世了
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我這次連動也動不了，因他兩腿夾緊了我的腰，亦把他自己的身體往我身上壓，我動不了，更是無力反抗，只是在無聲哭泣
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我覺得自己被弄得污漕，我覺得噁心
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我怕
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他把指頭插入了我自己的口腔內，然後又伸手爬向我下方，手指於三角地帶上爬走，痕癢感因皮膚的毛孔被以挑逗的輕力觸碰而傳出
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重覆地搔同一處地方，痕癢感更是疊著壘著疊得更高，試圖以扭動身體來避開他的手，不過反覆地扭動腰部亦引致他的手觸及的範圍更廣，多處傳來陣陣刺激，就令到身體的扭動幅度更是大，這樣一個惡性循環，反來令自己被調玩得更恐怖
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我好害怕320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4NXbyU99w
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「咿⋯嗚唔⋯⋯咕嚕⋯哈呼⋯⋯」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8dKe6ITfk
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停下來⋯求你了
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他那放了在我口腔內的手指慢慢地撫觸我口中兩面的肉，然後又把舌頭夾緊於兩指之間，向外一拉
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刺激著喉嚨，稍微有點想吐，我看著面前的陌生人，我的哥哥是這樣子嗎？我不知道，我好怕，我想離開，我想他停下來
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但他沒有
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他繼續，接下來，又用拇指順著摸自己下唇腫傷之處，並用指頭不停地弄著自己那濕熱的口腔，撫著兩面又弄舌頭，搞到自己很不舒服，還有點嘔意，想吐，想逃
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我不想這樣
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異物於口中亂搗亂玩，雖然沒有刻意去做，刻意去嚐味，但身體不在自己控制下，的確舔到他兩指的乾燥、粗糙肌膚質感，更嚐到些苦和酸臭味，我想，那些應該是摸我身體時所沾到的汗水
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想到此處時，炎熱感從背頂上沿骨頭跑到腰間
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胃部在震抖，喉嚨有些滾熱，刺痛的一團希望從身體中逃出來，但太大團的酸痛無法一下子從狹窄的通道中彈出，故然在令自己不斷咳嗽
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一瞬，我感到重量出現在舌頭的後端，不知為什麼，但我知道，這和稍早一餐的所有內容物，是有著差不多的重量
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我忍不住噁心，要吐出火焰，但突然嘴唇的出口遭封閉，張開淚溢的眼前，視野的兩瞳能見到血絲的紋路
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死盯自己
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我當時怕極了，但緊張感無助我壓抑嘔吐，反而更刺激胸口，我頂不住了，我忍不住了
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被綁住的手伸前，嘗試推開
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與此同時，酸臭的熱液在舌頭上跑過，衝了出來
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怎知道，他沒有躲開
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他張開了嘴巴
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從未試過的寒冰由頭頂流進胃袋，我一刻停止了嘔吐，熱辣的溫水順著舌頭回流進去
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只是嘔心感無法完全揭止，不久之後再次來襲
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意識到更恐怖的真實後，我用盡全力，把頭轉向另一方，然後在床單上把胃部清空，快把黃色的心臟吐出來
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看著冒泡的黃汁，我喘氣，然後慢慢地開始視野模糊，我開始哭
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此時，肚子傳來炎熱，只見兩手早已捉住了自己
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我改變不了什麼
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如此噁心的自己，這是應該得到的結果嗎？
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作為一個災星的自己，可以求得什麼？
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誰會接納自己？
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誰會
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320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgN5LS3EVW
「怎可以這麼不乖⋯打算逃呢？」
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「我可不會介意良世的⋯⋯」
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他說著的同時亦不忘玩弄自己，以舌頭舔我的耳背，那濕潤一舔那就癢得全身抖動不停，從未知道耳朵是如此的敏感，被用舌頭舔的耳朵不過數秒，就感覺到完全變得彊硬了
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我閉上眼睛
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被弄得全身震動，淚水亦不停的滴下來
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「妹妹這麼頑皮⋯得好好的懲罰一下呢⋯」
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我不敢去看
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一種從來沒有體驗過的感覺，不是單純刺痛、不是純屬一般癢感，不可説是痺痛感，這感覺難以言喻，但知道剛剛那一下子就似全身被過電
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劇烈的電流通過身體每一處，麻酥的痺感令我不禁滴下大淚珠，全身上下亦極誇張地痙攣起來
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我不想再被拋棄
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媽媽已經拋棄了我
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因為她討厭身為惡魔的自己
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因為我是個壞小孩
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我討厭這灼熱的燃燒感、酥麻的過電感從體內傳出來
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一股暖流湧上來了
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爸爸已經拋棄了我
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因為我是一個沒有耐性的小孩
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我不願意幫助爸爸
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因為我自私、噁心
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我討厭這強烈的怪異感
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身體不斷一麻一酥交替，兩個極端的感覺不停跨越互換著，其感覺差異令我忽冷忽熱
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麻痛不已的身體劇烈地痙攣震抖，而酥麻的快感則令我喘不過氣來，整個感覺就是既辛苦又無力抵抗的
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哥哥請不要拋棄我
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麻感一直從肚子裡傳開，加上亂掉的呼吸節奏和肚子在一脹一縮，肚痛就更為嚴重
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無論如何，這也沒什麼問題的
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「良世喜歡這樣嗎？」
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沒什麼關係，只要你喜歡，良世也會聽話的
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「我這樣束住你脖子好不好？」
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把皮帶繞過自己的頸，圈住，束緊
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叫自己窒息
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沒什麼的，因為良世很頑皮，所以盡情懲罰我吧
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對不起
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他先是鬆了一下皮圈，好讓我吸一口清新空氣，接下又再次縮緊，束緊頸子，在束住的那一剎那我感到淚水從眼框直飛了出去，或許是因為他拉得太快太大力吧
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不過，快窒息都好，沒什麼問題的
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「哈哈」
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對不起
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你喜歡就好了
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對不起
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下半身感覺不到床鋪的柔軟感，腰部更有遭拉扯之感，我漸漸張開那對沉重的眼皮，輕輕一瞄
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見到自己兩腿正被抬高高的，自己的腰因雙腳被撐開而與床稍有距離
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哥哥他在中間，龐愛如此壞的自己
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我是個壞孩子
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請原諒我
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請愛良世320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskOs87XPax
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良世⋯
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良世我⋯⋯
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320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0VMIhU8SP
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會為愛的人，付出一切
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所以別討厭我了
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拜託⋯⋯
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「不用太過緊張嘛⋯⋯哥哥可會好好地疼愛你的⋯⋯」
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謝謝你
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「繼續吧⋯⋯嘻⋯⋯」
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根本沒什麼可怕的地方320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMkF9Z68p3
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謝謝你
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我愛你，哥哥320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2yzGx3FM7
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扭曲的幼苗，日漸成長320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd861p7bZW2
ns18.222.140.52da2 
