Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVv35uVEQV
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGNHxphLmb
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZrGfsjS1Y
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzntCTPjGT
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSdS4kvbEs
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2haNeYdiY
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhhNVKeh22
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukRVNgv18o
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xdUFHdUCX
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bVjWOaueb
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOM4brcBpHT
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tvpAAi4xJ
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwloyRUA8j
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZteBUMrjf
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DPz1LauRo
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmO7evh3t9
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IM2FqxHsb
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9VocQ1wnG
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DzVaLMvRq
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCJmSoVTpA
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQW703w4Hx
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZm0SzNIu8a
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CUaYnfd3F
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtKpeylgpm
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBILV2HOrbt
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxLGZPASv3
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjylg3ny8c
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16D49UWjRW
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnOt9TlBY5
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XcgReR7sS
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvzCs71yqo
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNoqMDWEvI
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmL190i5fBE
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptbkrzBdoS
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqb5r1Bs3Mc
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvbbC78Gef
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvIZI4quKz
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEil4sMeLE
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlckCAXLU3Q
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnuf3OAmUK
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDEpZdR74a
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1SEXgoSJt
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58Lg8353Wb
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe24LUpSkaP
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtXXJXuIFN
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCP1KTLPeCc
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIVd6rrIMP
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwmLOSUMEZ
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWu0ehqvz4
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EVECIksO1
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3LD1Bnomd
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5NEYPWHCg
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73zHq2NqJv
*•*•*•*801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQrOMpb382
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyQYFtMFYB
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8PywdapTS
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiK7nOmCSo
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CbHHVndap
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHSbeWBwYk
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtLmQJRn7l
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJO8gYzLwV
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGi8aHyjqmO
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKXwDFl5tl
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjiIb8OsJ7
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuiE0txQTy
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb52VVtcxpr
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsFfHKre1h
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8t3EufJcKJ
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoV345fSlO
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviAQSumicb
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CDHtLTmTO
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2RtaN3y65
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8Z8CUQhz4
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjfiGhDdgZ
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtvpEBNB7j
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYGBgb7VjV
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpnE7ZyrE5
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYL2dI7fM9v
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNeqwmc1jh
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTDu7wRCgf
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxGUCioato
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHdSz3tLLm
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAlvelTViO
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCgne72Wlx
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudANcNWfcr
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvPw14517g
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOZcjVC62g
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1KbnjYJ2R
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKQYqjS5pd
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGAsASzKE5
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmLpYAP33O
"It won't be painful—"801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJ4RbSHfo7
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkQhe9FVRv
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjcAaxbtOJ
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLo2aW6L0HO
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQWTp5NxPp
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5V0uxF8pFd
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlHLUOe2fF
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKo2mFZKVO
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIhGQBr4bW
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBXdvdbbbO
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGie6ornd4
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZDImzVQFK
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQef0vS1Fic
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6oXgtXgvj
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8AiFd9oid
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuaQXVIyVh
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPP82iD2Rbt
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oxdv5r09j
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡih5hLzlDf0
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFU2p2skCV
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XJu7s6u3k
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUvLet5B4q
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jHtENz6RH
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwClmay2mce
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMW2KF8hx5Q
This is it.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVggg70Bd3E
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMELnQUl27
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2K4rUUJpS
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡih4faWhFli
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOpCPrvN1Y
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYloOdmBbc
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7ZmYjqKEy
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgDzYmb8r6
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrHKHWhgW3
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgfKW7QK85
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0j0rmpUThP
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6W8uPOdGz
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0jHTR0Rys
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxJKj7zDnb
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJQxgVSk92
I freeze.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5bd6BUbsA
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TTVmSQLB0
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO9lhhdUwJ
Then I breathe.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SGBLwtfSd
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIifPtocpM
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qBFllv3io
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJzLbVJycD
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7p7PPerL0
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvxUnqkno2
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAfy3ejiLO
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzDyXVTv0A
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiGa8l60Zb
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhX07agXSP9
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZ5chnHAqJ
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXISQ6rLXY
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq10GtuIBKQ
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJMnuxbQqv
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9YDlXDhF0
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUEFZ0to0B
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDvuBPRCvjo
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5eIyZKuax
Something isn't right.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvcLY4ygtY
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGp3A6g6Dl
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3HAiRbxki
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU6pfxWUBQ
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIAgJQTta9
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCspSmY0xJ
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyK8E4YlLD
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzXc2OOny2
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUavmY8vno
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡompm5LaXfU
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhhHnQxnfZ
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlCijOizpw
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7BUj6wrFt
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITUjcWikiS
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsq1gMwSeGw
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuqWYPOdFM
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzPgcxTo7z
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEJGqd8eHS
His lips twitch. 801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQn9s2v2Cw
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdPAJr2m15
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhaeOIlr7i
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQr4Eeg5iD
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrS5RIkK2Pp
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvFrXearqx
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI5yOyhyh9
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLGF4jXXLq
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsO7IQw1A87
"Okay so what do I have?"801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpUXqKRhHZ
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wPUpcHepE
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF4zvM1Alm
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstYiHpdN90
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmq8HkQr6W1
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2LStiK5Hx
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqjtRNUlWA
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2nn4xa9XB
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0ammEzzpI
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4QRCxJWwS
801Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtb1ULwotc
