Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYlCDfKUg0
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In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlJvzAj5PX
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Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdz56SrQ67
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZNbfjfAPn
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It's what's inside of me that's the problem.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXDJmftlzF
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You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdi3VCJqQz3
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bHCqDqMzi
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCHFvVwlmZ
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7x02Ynsn9
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My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCvutD3Z5W
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhs1180Oa0W
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHickkn76Ck
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIZfKp6xud
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqy3XHAV0J
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I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMhzePLzHk
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppL3riVJQh
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I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcsiqliGK4
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"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xegkFD7rb
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1spG0SiGSI
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In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinKeGxPZkd
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYL9dn0srM
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"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FGpqUdU1e
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfIABzRDoP
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She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gTxF5xQpU
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O5dldD1JW
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"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51SrRqe4oW
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"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aF272o7FA
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIahyCkRmu8
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She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZicVsDFqW
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqT5UN1GPu
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*•*•*•*889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8E1TwjKgI7
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I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7Ikp5nSv5
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiqMqIExV5
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"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SL9fA8hDz
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHV4nt9eZuP
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"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINTwkww1GX
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmF8LwZjPgc
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"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3YVxwnlQ5
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd2uLWSHr4
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9dnYWsz84
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRX3nbHia6c
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRv0VqcO3a
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And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgSjOXgGcP
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZi33aGu1hS
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkL2ejsWKK
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy92bT7RMUd
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He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnClTEahuyA
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"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfFZMEdaoR
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All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaUWPaezBt
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSehqGcxdE
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He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvBfQeHjtD
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"It won't be painful—"889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxB32pKv5FL
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"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcipOSIerr0
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fhvoOQQiO
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I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡce3Qu4bThq
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He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKN7vxqUn8
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmIUg6FIkw
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What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXEbpp1hsf
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCZAF3LmA2
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I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdz6EEM8Gb
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He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetSwp3dLuu
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLttzIJ7Yl
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However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQlIm7Yuot
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This is it.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRCVMa4coa
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889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprIoMruHkp
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW76o3W83m4
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMokJNZBkU
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphW5fVgUNT
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJidWzBSUbh
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLNwlvybNU
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I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKJcC2NcrI
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"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCG52706ZN
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ibAN0XMg6
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I freeze.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9dTwa0lsw
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cfoJw2uXs
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Then I breathe.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMFNhek8qU
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMbSvtJqFM
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtI8NM3Q0h
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClfyQpNrco
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqAMUEJZJJ
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However, as soon as that breath is released, I 889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLq1tvNdVfL
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlduzvg6ow
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1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfzJqRDucu
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvN2HipKwK
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2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaydgJr809
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3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zIjOO2e8k
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrzBlVopDU
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdKYTB49kn
Something isn't right.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBgK3COZcP
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuZ8gaGkpV
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxcYrIUPHA
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxoAvs0y6Y
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChalZszNWt
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkRNdvkx8O
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXaClK1Z32
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61ZdBk5frd
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He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFU1iQ3al4v
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"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiXcTC2dMK
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnNVTRk4hU
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKae6TyK6y9
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3T2E5Bz1Gl
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kmV7YX8lG
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His lips twitch. 889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAysGPG0Slt
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeXgqXHMxS
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxabsUvbWia
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWSEc37LPb
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbuNm9qBlC
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRiu6neqVM
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xmth4k96o
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfx4Nw2Vxy7
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"Okay so what do I have?"889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOzo6yCdac
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KOSqJVrGB
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhoqjxjFiv
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTF51lvY7VZ
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePP1dR6JxQ
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUMPi974wO
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889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VGMjs8ir9
889Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RMc8F0BQI
