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INT. TATE MODERN, ST IVES - AFTERNOON
Stable shopkeeper DR GREGORY BUTTERSCOTCH is arguing with sweet housekeeper MASTER HARRY CHAN. GREGORY tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJJ8h8s20t
Please Harry, don't leave me.
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HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMExfQ5HsXU
I'm sorry Gregory, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXg80gS0tB
I am such a person!
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HARRY frowns.
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HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhBgWwIC9s
I'm sorry, Gregory. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
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HARRY leaves.
GREGORY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, hopeful doctor MRS CHANTAL MALKOVICH barges in looking flustered.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNNCyoKTue
Goodness, Chantal! Is everything okay?
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhXkPQN7j4
I'm afraid not.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDFbH8lGSx
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiw1XTbUwaU
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2kfo1Shhb
Defenseless swimmers?
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSN3ukFaGg
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSGNJJ4Eth
Bloomin' heck, Chantal! We've got to do something.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCwfnlS7tm
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBSnuzZ5WR
You can start by telling me where this happened.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pm5rXKdx8
I was...
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CHANTAL fans herself and begins to wheeze.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZdQpbd2vY
Focus Chantal, focus! Where did it happen?
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXDZhsxvbU
National History Museum, London! That's right - National History Museum, London!
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GREGORY springs up and begins to run.
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EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
GREGORY rushes along the street, followed by CHANTAL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER
SHARON PIGEON a spiteful alien terrorises two swimmers.
GREGORY, closely followed by CHANTAL, rushes towards SHARON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jr83CX8UF
What is is? What's the matter?
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJTL1EFozb
That's not just any old alien, that's Sharon Pigeon!
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvccJCLjd5
Who's Sharon Pigeon?
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuo3iOqL8mQ
Who's Sharon Pigeon? Who's Sharon Pigeon? Only the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDaJlQHjJs
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyt6sYUaaO
You can say that again.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMnONA9xE5
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGzT3Y7IHT
I'm going to need ropes, lots of ropes.
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Sharon turns and sees Gregory and Chantal. She grins an evil grin.
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtXbxKwSoe
Gregory Butterscotch, we meet again.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxL16crXc8
You've met?
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYMLy8ZoW6
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
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EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young GREGORY is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees SHARON. He takes off his headphones.
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2l5Kfm7TU
Would you like some chocolate?
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GREGORY's eyes light up, but then he studies SHARON more closely, and looks uneasy.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrCdcRp3cC
I don't know, you look kind of spiteful.
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRTjfSba0L
Me? No. I'm not spiteful. I'm the least spiteful alien in the world.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7zP7TfGfq
Wait, you're a alien?
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GREGORY runs away, screaming.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - PRESENT DAY
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17lM2UEUZ3
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡID8rHra6Kp
(To GREGORY) You ran away?
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AbNmkIFWk
(To CHANTAL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
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GREGORY turns to SHARON.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtJpypf1Gp
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
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GREGORY runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OcMua7B5w
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ropes.
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQMwxLQNdF
I'm not scared of you.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0Xbc4QjYs
You should be.
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EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY
GREGORY and CHANTAL walk around searching for something.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaaHa5HeF9
I feel sure I left my ropes somewhere around here.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Pkit5sOly
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ropes.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bRAb1qvlc
You know nothing Chantal Malkovich.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71B54mInyy
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
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Suddenly, SHARON appears, holding a pair of ropes.
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsHIkkAkSP
Looking for something?
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HCy64pdZW
Crikey, Gregory, she's got your ropes.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktd43BPGVD
Tell me something I don't already know!
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkq9ONQRie
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvCc464hL6
I know that already!
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSthNsE8wbE
I pick my nose and eat it.
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXAa8d32k8
(appalled) Dude!
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While SHARON is looking at CHANTAL with disgust, GREGORY lunges forward and grabs his deadly ropes. He wields them, triumphantly.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aRIJS8UCS
Prepare to die, you spiteful cauliflower!
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAPtxIGnVc
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiqZz3bCVV
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Gregory Butterscotch defender of innocent swimmers.
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHvD9RP7ND
Don't hurt me! Please!
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sqg7yZW16
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ropes on you right away!
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdrJivEp70
Because Gregory, I am your mother.
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GREGORY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVix0UVxfIx
No you're not!
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SHARON226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVZdwXHoTy
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
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SHARON tries to grab the ropes but GREGORY dodges out of the way.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzx6dbkgg2
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
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Unexpectedly, SHARON slumps to the ground.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQj5NZ96Gim
Did she just faint?
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5zzQBGICx
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ropes.
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GREGORY crouches over SHARON's body.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYTtzwDjXf
Be careful, Gregory. It could be a trick.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFu1XPbWaos
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Sharon Pigeon is dead!
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSDU7Qn59R
What?
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsMOb96MJu
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
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CHANTAL claps her hands.
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CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xKqbAs6xk
So your ropes did save the day, after all.
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HARRY steps forward.
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HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVbuUxsIAB
Is it true? Did you kill the spiteful alien?
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpui2WfQa7a
Harry how long have you been...?
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HARRY puts his arm around GREGORY.
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HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrYgCIjXQ7
Long enough.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7x6pquUm5Q
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Sharon Pigeon.
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HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXHC0bpYUf
Then the swimmers are safe?
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZxll8GUb1
It does seem that way!
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A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.
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HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DPqZ5aEfw
You are their hero.
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The swimmers bow to GREGORY.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdwGXFKtMr
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Sharon Pigeon will never exterminate swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
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HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPgcUQRacT
You are humble as well as brave!
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One of the swimmers passes GREGORY a magic ring
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HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoFgVtlfr5
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLIuKOydix
I couldn't possibly.
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Pause.
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GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3K2JvKzEu
Well, if you insist.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrvvU2A0J8
GREGORY takes the ring.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Loa2uNv8M
GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjNf4NCtv4
Thank you.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEfM3Ug6J3
The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.
GREGORY turns to HARRY.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZXk4X4WEM
GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8JBRZfS2v
Does this mean you want me back?
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFjdMw6sKX
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9A2gpV1bSO
HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNWuK3zZJw
Oh, Gregory, of course I want you back!
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdf66l5QEz
GREGORY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRB6c6FEPpP
GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkfLZhS0Vn
Well you can't have me.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgItBU7WKRa
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BtwqMM8h3
HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMKtbtQ8IN
WHAT?
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtWRuxr69Z
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdipWCiBY8
GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouC18owzEQ
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtAU1hMoPT
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeC7yGIKa1
HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBw9CZimTro
But...
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskzMCjfeoR
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJaY9lL9HL
GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgXDwQB27Y
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Chantal.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlpKBE1HrCi
CHANTAL grins.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5celrl5yA
HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdUK3gZfjv
But...
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9tHCEaoTy
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfS2wkBIsZf
CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdjOw9ZObq
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyHVNQgCmL
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gGPNOXVo5
HARRY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaPjhw8v0E
Gregory?
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiWikdyOCz
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXEpHhRnQS
GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviMfVoRmEQ
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddle.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxt48391kJb
HARRY leaves.
CHANTAL turns to GREGORY.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHSKXleFyr
CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HFOkv59Dj
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCleRe1Fc66
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5hBACFrM3
GREGORY226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmynnVV0x2
Of course you are!
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5P6Yx6uh0s
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly CHANTAL stops.
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlAXEJzNuo
CHANTAL226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnD4E9GGYS
When I said I pick my nose and eat it, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuHFWLkTlK
226Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eBO58LKTW
THE END
ns216.73.216.179da2
