INT. TATE MODERN, ST IVES - AFTERNOON
Stable shopkeeper DR GREGORY BUTTERSCOTCH is arguing with sweet housekeeper MASTER HARRY CHAN. GREGORY tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uGKq3I2RK
Please Harry, don't leave me.
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HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXSaxAi6Y9
I'm sorry Gregory, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gynkdkeKu
I am such a person!
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HARRY frowns.
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HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Hv8ck0mkp
I'm sorry, Gregory. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
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HARRY leaves.
GREGORY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, hopeful doctor MRS CHANTAL MALKOVICH barges in looking flustered.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zttNEdqet
Goodness, Chantal! Is everything okay?
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkMm3vcNbG
I'm afraid not.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8digMeNcl
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1f6rPDoVYX
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmx8b72IhMA
Defenseless swimmers?
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErfclE7XDG
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfYcIqbvCd
Bloomin' heck, Chantal! We've got to do something.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsglYF749g
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRcA1qG6jM
You can start by telling me where this happened.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsriX2g9gXS
I was...
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CHANTAL fans herself and begins to wheeze.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9B67gpX6F
Focus Chantal, focus! Where did it happen?
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyB9lgTW037
National History Museum, London! That's right - National History Museum, London!
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GREGORY springs up and begins to run.
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EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
GREGORY rushes along the street, followed by CHANTAL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER
SHARON PIGEON a spiteful alien terrorises two swimmers.
GREGORY, closely followed by CHANTAL, rushes towards SHARON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvIFyKpVRQ
What is is? What's the matter?
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOcg9yIMjp
That's not just any old alien, that's Sharon Pigeon!
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTpv8M2L5w
Who's Sharon Pigeon?
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFxqHddylh
Who's Sharon Pigeon? Who's Sharon Pigeon? Only the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlsygVlTCy
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZb2C8TZGV8
You can say that again.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SDJ1XRA1A
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhio4FZc5Ya
I'm going to need ropes, lots of ropes.
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Sharon turns and sees Gregory and Chantal. She grins an evil grin.
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKuIgz6eBX
Gregory Butterscotch, we meet again.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyD0jRccQk
You've met?
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAEXmYtR6b
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
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EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young GREGORY is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees SHARON. He takes off his headphones.
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEiVVz81N3
Would you like some chocolate?
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GREGORY's eyes light up, but then he studies SHARON more closely, and looks uneasy.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuVGHvkbRJ
I don't know, you look kind of spiteful.
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oQzx2ZjI9
Me? No. I'm not spiteful. I'm the least spiteful alien in the world.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwwWQTsIAL
Wait, you're a alien?
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GREGORY runs away, screaming.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - PRESENT DAY
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACdn2hsOl1
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtiJItRNZY
(To GREGORY) You ran away?
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJssgWkfdF
(To CHANTAL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
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GREGORY turns to SHARON.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnouFFNaaVO
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
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GREGORY runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOUuzmbdDd
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ropes.
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuswvPOnqZG
I'm not scared of you.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfH5MTqzJYs
You should be.
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EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY
GREGORY and CHANTAL walk around searching for something.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8eMprFSOx
I feel sure I left my ropes somewhere around here.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDuYvruFhE
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ropes.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nS6pmKv4l
You know nothing Chantal Malkovich.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9Y57lVy9p
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
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Suddenly, SHARON appears, holding a pair of ropes.
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR67IOyrznv
Looking for something?
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLuGn3GQMW
Crikey, Gregory, she's got your ropes.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LS9YCwnQ2
Tell me something I don't already know!
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpRlNUlBG1
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76dv5Brf23
I know that already!
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMBeAvCA8f
I pick my nose and eat it.
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktThko5o2a
(appalled) Dude!
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While SHARON is looking at CHANTAL with disgust, GREGORY lunges forward and grabs his deadly ropes. He wields them, triumphantly.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkD14O8CiX
Prepare to die, you spiteful cauliflower!
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxBHrMz4Fp
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQmxg1WfAE
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Gregory Butterscotch defender of innocent swimmers.
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJHkUgWlYN
Don't hurt me! Please!
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqSJbrzELj
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ropes on you right away!
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEY7ZW2eTSY
Because Gregory, I am your mother.
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GREGORY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekPZgCmfXX
No you're not!
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SHARON267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rducP1glS
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
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SHARON tries to grab the ropes but GREGORY dodges out of the way.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPa9y4XR2H
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
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Unexpectedly, SHARON slumps to the ground.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHQ7jIYczU
Did she just faint?
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEiMEkon5N
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ropes.
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GREGORY crouches over SHARON's body.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRyNU2NiZq
Be careful, Gregory. It could be a trick.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZVLQOIixR
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Sharon Pigeon is dead!
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFweP3aTfLM
What?
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwIrIglIdY
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
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CHANTAL claps her hands.
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CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSngUtdAZX
So your ropes did save the day, after all.
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HARRY steps forward.
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HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLvfGeHeIN
Is it true? Did you kill the spiteful alien?
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14LjAcf7RP
Harry how long have you been...?
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HARRY puts his arm around GREGORY.
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HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPY8XhD3dF
Long enough.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoe2MmQMUn7
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Sharon Pigeon.
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HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpMMZoEQTg
Then the swimmers are safe?
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcU65BWDquM
It does seem that way!
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A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.
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HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFXVF6KsUp
You are their hero.
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The swimmers bow to GREGORY.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzALaXZ9s1T
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Sharon Pigeon will never exterminate swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
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HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2eq5BLPG8n
You are humble as well as brave!
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One of the swimmers passes GREGORY a magic ring
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HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfn8IczCVCI
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOfZBdflig
I couldn't possibly.
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Pause.
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GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjusjXOu8C8
Well, if you insist.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2YdOrBPK5
GREGORY takes the ring.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0uWkt3kXs
GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMHi18HkLX
Thank you.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv7TVhMHdP
The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.
GREGORY turns to HARRY.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbWBKtT4gp
GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZnuBGKXft
Does this mean you want me back?
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOICHS636u
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hMXe2vLn3
HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtwWFNlJIp
Oh, Gregory, of course I want you back!
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0jXlB1Oud
GREGORY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3BsZZ4hoA
GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJd2G9GVYRy
Well you can't have me.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MtvJf0LF0
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvigeVyjynE
HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1hpm4o4gN
WHAT?
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9ET0V2OPR
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvrF9ont54
GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWnFWLIt5w
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWOV4tVogp
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHt6sk8TlmG
HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDJQoN04iX
But...
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU9PwiaOGX
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbWCEnwXiU
GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZXKdxoFpc
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Chantal.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCNrpwnV43
CHANTAL grins.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiRx6vuctb
HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSR7MeD44v
But...
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQhQsjS72l
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSnNamNF8q
CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQtInI3Ej7
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1J4QC0zLth
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClepTASTKQ
HARRY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuiwL0Yqvx
Gregory?
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zc9KPRcdx
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLd9inTdEU
GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo63wApwylv
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddle.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFsQfLGJbG
HARRY leaves.
CHANTAL turns to GREGORY.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrKKKZbwzb
CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPSzgUBSXO
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpj9lBAtvL
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3pLbFuCU2
GREGORY267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuipQnHGSD
Of course you are!
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7kMTh99uD
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly CHANTAL stops.
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwI6Po1u4Rt
CHANTAL267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzuoBSHjKj
When I said I pick my nose and eat it, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9mSRtSYGW
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIia5504og8
THE END
ns216.73.216.82da2
