Once everyone was done with their pizza we went down to the basement and put on a show. Jake and Asher were playing ping pong as Liv, Tony, Josh and I sat on the couch and put on a show.
Liv and Tony were on one part of the sectional, covered with a blanket, while Josh and I were on the other side. He sat on the couch before me, so I had no other choice but to sit with my legs folded up to my chest. Josh took a glance at me but shook his head before turning back to the screen.
I couldn’t pay attention to the movie, my thoughts kept going back to how close Josh was to me. He got up to go get a drink and when he came back he sat closer to me than I would’ve expected.
As the movie went on he kept sliding closer until I had my head on his shoulder. It was nice to actually be close to someone other than my main friend group. Then I realized that I was getting close to someone. I made some excuse and went to the bathroom. I checked the time, 10:32.
“Hey Liv, do you wanna go get ready for bed?” I asked, coming back into the room.
“Yeah, sure.” She kissed Tony on the cheek and got up.
We headed up the stairs to my room. “Goodnight guys, try to get some sleep.”
“Night Lilly!” They all yelled. “Night Liv!”
When we got into my room Liv immediately hounded me. “I saw you getting all cozy with Josh, why’d you leave? It looked to me like you were actually having fun.”
I gave her a side eye. “You of all people should know why.”
“Oh, well how’d you get so close? I mean before the pizza tasting you guys weren’t really even friends and now you’re snuggling while watching movies?! How many chapters of this new friendship did I miss?”
So I explained to her how I’d gotten a text from someone and had a panic attack. For some reason my closet made me feel better. So I’d been in my closet, but I still couldn’t seem to calm down. He’d found me and helped me calm down. Maybe it was his smell, a mix of nature and some cologne. Or maybe it was his kind eyes and adorable messy hair.
“I’m so sorry Lil, I should’ve known there was something wrong.” Liv said, beating herself up.
“It’s not your fault, I should’ve known something like this would happen eventually.” I painted a goofy smile on my face.”Now shall we pick up on Love Is Blind?”
******
I didn’t have any dreams that night, which was a huge relief. I woke up to the smell of heavenly goodness, pancakes and sausages. All I was in was some ratty pj pants and a soft sleep shirt. I checked to see if Liv was still here, but she must’ve been downstairs already, probably eating with the boys.
I quickly hopped out of bed and grabbed a bra and an oversized sweatshirt to pull on. I checked my reflection. I still looked like a bus hit me, but I also looked happier than I had been in a while. I quickly fixed my hair and washed my face. Then I headed downstairs.
Everyone was sitting at the table in their pj’s. There was a spot for me between Liv and Asher.
“There she is!” Jake exclaimed. “We were about to send the bloodhound to get you.”
Just then my dog Goose popped her head out from under the table. She was a golden retriever and was seven years old.
“Hiya baby.” I knelt beside her and scratched behind her ears. “How are you darling?”
Everyone laughed when I sat down at the table, I just smiled. I set one pancake and sausage on my plate. I saw Asher look at my plate, but before he could say anything I started a conversation with Liv.
“What’re we doing today?” I asked, cutting my pancake.
“I have chores and homework so I’ll probably leave with Tony after getting changed.” She said around a mouthful of sausage.
“I gotta do that too. Are you going to church?”
“Yup, then I’m gonna go to the library.” That was our code for my appointments.
“So should we just sit together at church?”
“Yup.” I finally took a bite of pancake. It was golden and fluffy and sweet. I didn’t put any syrup or butter on it because I didn’t want the extra calories.
After breakfast we all helped clean up, after that Josh, Liv, and Tony left. I quickly headed up to my room. I didn’t even realize Asher was there until he spoke.
“Why’d you only take one pancake?” He asked, sitting on my unmade bed.
“I wasn’t feeling hungry.” I told him. “Must’ve had too much dinner.”
“Lil, you’re not starving yourself, right?” He asked, concern written all over his face. “You can’t do that to us, not again.”
I nodded. “I know, don’t worry. I’m eating just fine and taking my meds.”
“Ok, thank you.” He got up and headed for the door. “See you in a few.”
He shut my door and I jumped in the shower. Almost everything in my shower was strawberry coconut scented, my shampoo and conditioner, my body wash. For some reason the sweet smell calmed me down.
I got out and braided my hair quickly. Today I was just gonna deep clean my room and do some physics homework. I changed into a pair of flowy pants that were super soft, and a soft tight tank top. I put in my AirPods and turned on my cleaning mix. I first started by picking up everything that was laying on the floor and put them away. I also grabbed a bunch of dirty laundry and some sweatshirts that needed to be washed. Putting them all in my hamper I walked to the laundry room and started a load.
Then I vacuumed and Clorox wiped all my surfaces. The doorbell rang right as I was making my bed. I raced downstairs and opened the door. Josh stood there in a pair of jeans and a fitted t-shirt. He also looked like he had taken a shower, he smelled like it too.
“Hey Lil, I came to work on our project.” He said. I noticed then that he had a backpack slung over his shoulder.
“Oh I must’ve forgotten.” I mumbled, my cheeks turning red. “You can just go to the dinner room, I’m gonna go grab a sweatshirt.”
He nodded and I raced back up the stairs and grabbed a zip up from my hook near my door. I also grabbed my school backpack that held all my things that I needed for our project, including my computer.
When I got back downstairs Josh had already set up our notebook and opened his computer. “We just have to do our slideshow presentation and make our speech. Then we’ll be done.” He told me.
“I’ll make the presentation, do you wanna do the speech?”
“Yeah sure.” He said and started typing on his computer, checking the notes every once in a while. I brought mine out and typed in my password. It unlocked and I got into Google Slides and made a new slideshow. I titled it ‘Mental Health Project’ and shared it with Josh. A second later I got an email inviting me to join his document for the speech.
We worked hard for about thirty minutes without much talk, every once in a while we’d check in on each other's work or ask a question, but other than that it was almost silent. Eventually Josh stretched and started up a conversation. “So how’d you sleep last night?”
“Fine, nothing too extraordinary.” I murmured. “How about you?”
“Pretty good, we fell asleep around two a.m. so I’m still kinda tired. But it was fun.” I noticed now the bags under his eyes, they weren’t awful or super dark, but they were still there.
I nodded. “I’m almost done with the slideshow. How’s it going with the speeches?”
“Pretty good. I can present most of it if you want.”
“Ok.”
We finished twenty minutes later and proofread everything. It sounded pretty good for only working on it for around an hour and a half.
“Thanks for coming over.” I said. “I guess I’ll see you on Monday in class.”
“Sounds good to me.” He smiled and winked on his way out the door. “Have a good weekend Cooper.”
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