I walked into the library in fourth period and looked to try to find a spot, but it turned out I didn’t need to. Josh had found a spot near the back of the library, he waved at me and I blushed.
“Hey Cooper,” He pulled a chair out for me. I silently slid in it. “Saw you at the game last night, what’d you think?”
“You played well.” I felt his eyes on me as I got my Advisement folder out of my bag. “You gonna start on the work or just stare at me?” I looked over and saw him blushing.
“Well, what are the areas?” He asked.
“ADHD, anxiety, depression, PTSD, or panic attacks.” I mumbled, I had almost all of it.
He mulled it over in his head for a few moments. “Which one do you want to do?”
“I’m fine with whatever.” I told him, scribbling some doodles on the side of the paper.
“Um… depression?” He asked.
It took everything in me to not cry. “Sure.”
He opened his computer and signed in. “What’s the first question?”
“Ummm…” I quickly skimmed the page. “What are the first signs?”
“It says ‘sad, anxious, or empty mood, feeling hopeless or pessimistic, feeling irritable, frustrated or restless, feeling guilty, worthless or helpless, loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, and sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much.’” He read a little more. “Did you get it all down?”
“Yup.” I sighed. “Next question.”
******
We spent the next half hour researching depression before the bell finally rang.
“Can we meet up this weekend?” Josh asked.
“We have three weeks to do this, you know.” I told him as I put everything back in my backpack.
“Yeah I know. But if we get it done over the weekend then you can spend all the free class time on your doodle book.” He tapped his temple like he was some genius.
“Ok… I’ll text you later.” I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed out of the library.
Liv met up with me in the lunchroom and we found a spot in the back of the lunchroom.
“So, how’d the studying go with Josh?” She asked as soon as we sat down.
“It was good, guess what topic we chose for the assignment.”
She stopped eating for a second.“He didn’t.”
“Oh yes he did! Our topic is depression, yay!” I tried to put on a happy face but I could barely hold back my frown.
“Oh girl,” She slung her arm around my shoulders. “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing ok, not nearly as bad as before. And it’s not his fault, you are the only one outside my family who knows about this, well, you and Tony.” I leaned into her shoulder. “But everything’s fine nowadays.”
“That’s good to hear.” She moved over to make room for Tony. “Are we all gonna hang out tonight? I’m bringing SkipBo!”
Tonight was our Friday night game night. The first Friday night of every month was spent playing games with one of our families and each other. It was usually held at my house because my brothers loved it so much. After the game night Liv and I usually had a sleepover, but Tony never wanted to stay unless he was hanging out with my brothers, a boy at a girls sleepover? Gross!
“Yup, the twins even said they were gonna bring someone.” Tony and Liv smirked at each other.
“Are they mentally prepared for this trio! ‘Cause otherwise they’ll get spanked!” We all burst out laughing. “I wonder who it could be?”
“I don’t know, they refused to tell me.” I shrugged.
Liv furrowed her brow for a second. “Lil, where’s your lunch?”
I grimaced, I’d been hoping she wouldn’t notice. “Oh, probably in my locker or something, I’ll just eat it later.” I pinned a smile on my face.
“You better.” Liv said it jokingly, but I could see the seriousness in her eyes.
She turned to Tony and started talking about carpooling to my house. I let my eyes wander across the cafeteria and spotted my brothers sitting with some basketball teammates, including Josh. He looked back at me and winked. I quickly looked away and tried to keep my cheeks from turning red.
Tony and Liv left a little before me so they could get to their next class. I followed behind them and headed to my favorite class of the day, Calculus. My teacher, Mrs. Brown, always let me find a seat before everyone else and never made me do anything I didn’t want to. She also let me come in during her lunch break and just sit in the back of the classroom in my seat, because she knew I wouldn’t distract her.
“Hey Lil, how are you today?” She asked with a smile as I headed to the back of the classroom.
“I’m surviving.” I laughed.
“When did you see Mrs. Cole last?” She asked, her eyes trained on me.
“It’s… been awhile.” I admitted. “I haven’t seen her since my last panic attack.”
“Lilly, you have to go see her if you want anything to change. You can’t do everything yourself. Do you want me to email your parents and Mrs. Cole so you can get a time scheduled?” She asked.
“Oh, I can do it. I wouldn’t want to make you do more than you have to.” She smiled at me and went back to her work.
I put my Airpods in and worked on some of my homework from different classes. It was pretty easy stuff, and I got most of it done by the time the bell rang.
I put away my papers and Airpods as everyone started filling in the classroom. One of my other friends, Lexa, came and sat beside me.
We nodded to each other before the class started. The class went by pretty quickly and I had extra time afterwards. I finished all of my homework so I could have the weekend to myself and not have to worry about homework.
The bell rang and I left the room, I only had a few periods left of the day. And man, was I ready to go home!
******
I drove back home alone because Liv was gonna come over with Tony around five. I walked inside and heard the twins and another guy laughing. Apparently their friend decided to come home with them. I sighed and went into the kitchen, hoping to get everything ready for when we made our pizzas later.
I caught a glimpse of light brown hair as the twins and their guest headed to the backyard. I turned my attention back to the pizzas and forgot about their guest.
******
I spent the next hour in my room trying to get a song right on my ukulele, it was only three years old and still sounded like it did the day I got it for christmas. I smiled to myself when it finally sounded right. I had just started humming the lyrics when someone opened my door.
It was Josh. He blushed when he saw me sprawled across my bed with my ukulele in my hands. “Oh, hey Lilly.”
He looked my outfit up and down and I blushed. As soon as I had gotten in my room I had changed into an oversized vintage band t-shirt and a pair of soft leggings. My usually well kept tangle free hair was now up in a messy top bun and I had taken all my makeup off. “Hi, um, what’re you doing in my room Josh?”
He cleared his throat a few times. “The twins wanted me to tell you that Tony and Liv are here. And that we’re gonna start making the pizzas soon.”
“Ok, thanks for telling me.” I said as I stood up. A wave of dizziness hit me and I fell forward a little bit as the world blacked out for a second.
I felt arms encircle me. “Lilly!” I opened my eyes and saw Josh holding onto me. “Are you ok?”
“Oh, yeah of course.” I felt my cheeks turn red as I stepped out of Joshs’ arms. “I must’ve stood up too quickly.” I tried to laugh it off.
“Are you sure? Have you eaten enough today?” He asked, obviously still worried.
“Oh yeah, the blood just rushed to my head. But I’m fine now.” I walked towards the door. “You coming? It’s time for pizza.”
He nodded and followed me. I walked downstairs and saw Liv and Tony. Liv was wearing practically the same thing as me and I saw her overnight bag leaning against the wall. Tony was in basketball shorts and a loose t-shirt, he also had his overnight bag. I saw three bags in total propped against the wall. It looked like Josh would be staying too.
“Ready for the pizza baking championship!” Asher asked. Another thing that we did at sleepovers was not only make pizzas but some nights we would have a championship where you paired up with someone and made pizzas. Then everyone would take a blind taste test of the others and the only rule was you couldn’t vote for yours.
The teams were almost always the same. Asher and I, Tony and Liv, and Jake and whoever the twins invited.
“I think this pairing is unfair.” Jake declared in a snooty voice, obviously being funny. “I say we take a vote, who votes to break up Asher and Lilly?”
Everyones hand except for Ashers and mine shot into the air. “Oh, and what would the pairings be?” I asked, grinning.
“Both you and Asher are too good so we’ll put you with the worst chefs.” Jake smirked. “I’ll be paired with Asher and you’ll be paired with Josh.”
It took everything in me for my jaw not to drop. “Hey, I’m a pretty good chef.” Josh said.
“Oh Turner,” Jake clapped him on the back. “We all know that you failed culinary, the only thing you can make is cereal.” Everyone burst out laughing.
“Fine,” Josh put his arm around my shoulder. “But we’ll beat you, all of you.”
Everyone laughed and I slipped out of his reach. It wasn’t that Josh was being too touchy or anything, I just didn’t know what to do.
“Ok, Tony and Liv will go first, then Josh and Lilly, and finally Asher and I.” Jake grinned. “And your time starts now!”
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