「最近支語入侵得越來越嚴重,有勞咁多位手足加快手腳,開多幾個thread,剔出嗰啲假扮香港人嘅account,針對住啲wording嚟捉鬼。呢度係更新嘅『支語表』,大家讀熟佢。I don’t want to go through them one by one. 」58Please respect copyright.PENANAALHCp3glwQ
陳sir企喺我同軒仔中間。佢將手上份A4交俾我哋兩個。我向後傳,傳完一輪,仲有兩張返到陳sir手中。58Please respect copyright.PENANAnd3UKkkmkc
「我print咗五十份,who’s absent?」58Please respect copyright.PENANA8lTi4vbi6H
「陳sir,琴日我捉到萬寶路同黃大仙喺pantry用支語。我已經即刻炒咗佢哋。」58Please respect copyright.PENANAPfxZzxwHXI
「唔該阿軒。喺呢度再remind大家一次,作為支語警察,我哋絕對唔能夠縱容支語。如果你發覺身邊有人用到支語,directly report to 軒sir。Understand?」58Please respect copyright.PENANAvIhJAww3eR
「Yes Sir。」大家異口同聲咁答。58Please respect copyright.PENANAWvgzdQZMln
陳sir輕輕一笑,轉身敲我張枱:「文盲佬,my office。」58Please respect copyright.PENANABngNyrAiGU
我帶着張新「支語表」跟住陳sir入咗玻璃房。58Please respect copyright.PENANArONSA8N3wR
「文盲佬,上頭想開一個新部門,專對付台灣嗰邊嘅『支氣管』。你年資最耐,我想你去做department head。」58Please respect copyright.PENANA85ALkImzlG
「陳sir,我唔係好明。香港一向同台灣關係唔錯,點解要對付佢哋?」58Please respect copyright.PENANAgSUDAl5q65
「台灣嗰邊捉鬼捉得越嚟越tight,最近連香港啲日常用語都話係支語。以示清白,上頭想開個department 專門tackle this。你han唔handle到?」58Please respect copyright.PENANAkja4WDsm0Z
陳sir啲英文唔咸唔淡,我都唔明點解佢講嘢吓吓都中英夾雜。更加令我不解嘅係,中英夾雜可以點樣守護到廣東話。不過,守護廣東話從來都唔係「支氣管」嘅目標。我喺「支氣管」咁多年,明白咗一件事:語言係記認,口音係階級,用字係一場認知作戰。「支氣管」就係認知戰嘅哨兵。58Please respect copyright.PENANApavXrTE8zt
「認知作戰」(Cognitive Warfare) 一詞最早來自於北大西洋公約組織(NATO)的一份報告,當中定義認知作戰是一個新型競爭領域,超越傳統的陸、海、空等空間,屬於「一種非常規的作戰方式,利用每一個人的心理偏見與反射性思維,透過科技網絡,操控人類思維,引發思想改變,因而產生負面影響。」58Please respect copyright.PENANAziTgDlmzbO
似乎越打擊到支語,就越能夠鞏固到廣東話嘅地位。58Please respect copyright.PENANAEkmDV28tTL
「除咗澄清之外,仲有啲咩職務?隊team有幾多人?」58Please respect copyright.PENANAp1bwt62QLK
「我會安排四個人俾你,你揀人。至於職務,同你依家做緊嘅more or less差唔多,compile翻一份『粵支對譯』,然後追擊嗰啲重點account。」58Please respect copyright.PENANASRmD5ib9Ff
「明白。」我拿着手上的「支語表」,微微輕抖:「話説我發覺越來越多人用緊我哋歸納咗嘅支語,我哋使唔使剔除咗嗰啲字?」58Please respect copyright.PENANA3rSeZOy6Sq
「例如呢?」陳sir皺起眉頭。58Please respect copyright.PENANAaec2j6qPLj
「例如性價比、底氣、内卷⋯⋯我尋日已經send咗份list俾阿軒,佢話由細到大都無聽過呢啲字,所以唔使轉。」58Please respect copyright.PENANAmjTH42POlU
「阿軒喺香港生活四十幾年,廣東話佢係expert嚟,交俾佢就得。」陳sir的眉心摺起幾折,把聲都係咁穩重。58Please respect copyright.PENANAcw5PFxIhjN
我哋兩個對視一陣,我欲言又止,佢就一直等我開口。我吞啖口水,直言不諱:58Please respect copyright.PENANASYGmP64Jth
「陳sir,我唔係質疑阿軒嘅能力。但係坦白講,語言係流動可變嘅工具,六十年代有六十年代嘅歇後語,八十年代嘅潮語,依家有依家嘅slangs,恆久不變係廣東話呢個語言。我覺得我哋不斷捉人用支語,其實變相係限制緊廣東話嘅potential。」58Please respect copyright.PENANA7PYO6LfFsi
「錯!你口中講緊嘅potential係普通話取代廣東話嘅potential——」陳sir個頭向後一挨,一副教官架陷入張大班椅,張凳搖咗兩吓,佢又挨翻前,十指緊扣托住下巴:「你係咪唔明?」58Please respect copyright.PENANAXOfAAVkcP6
「但係佢哋都仲係用緊廣東話發音,『守護廣東話』唔係就係咁嘅意思咩?」58Please respect copyright.PENANA1qa1A1v9KM
「希特拉講過,要消滅一個民族,首先瓦解佢嘅文化;要瓦解佢嘅文化,首先消滅承載佢嘅語言;要消滅呢種語言,首先從學校下手。時代唔同,消滅文化唔需要再由學校開始,可以由社交媒體開始,入侵並取代我哋嘅語言,取代我哋pop culture street art。我哋捍衛廣東話係咪剩係廣東話咁簡單?」58Please respect copyright.PENANAUhbolhuSxB
陳sir嚴肅嘅臉孔好似鋪上一層黑紗,我唔敢答話。58Please respect copyright.PENANAXCjI7GhIx3
「詞彙統一只係温水煮蛙嘅第一步。如果你接受到支語,慢慢好多嘢都會接受,去到最後,就係全個香港都用緊普通話。『支語風氣管理局』嘅成立就係nip it in the bud!文盲佬,你做咗咁耐,如果你唔明呢個咁簡單嘅道理,我好懷疑你能唔能夠be the new department head。」58Please respect copyright.PENANAg1jYIBLbnL
「我好清楚區分到廣東話唔係支語。但係廣東話就係口語,口語就係易變。我覺得,」我望向十幾頁嘅支語表:「如果越嚟越多人用某啲廣東話取代唔到嘅字詞,例如內卷、底氣、打卡,佢哋都可以納入廣東話。」
「NO!呢個係同化!你係咪question緊所有人做緊嘅嘢!」陳sir不耐煩咁得大喝起來,成層樓赫然靜止不動。58Please respect copyright.PENANAzbYrnBXR5O
我雙手將支語表放喺背後,點咗點頭。58Please respect copyright.PENANAqJjhDHUiXE
「你出返去好好諗吓自己講咩。」陳sir戲劇性地轉身望出窗外,冷氣吹散百扇頁,觀塘的後巷眼前一閃一躍。58Please respect copyright.PENANA2DJkIwuk2l
「Sorry Sir,我從來都無質疑過大家嘅功勞,希望陳Sir你唔好誤會我。」58Please respect copyright.PENANAFPvHdIt2Vm
「你,你以後專心喺台灣嗰一塊上面。」58Please respect copyright.PENANARlKq7VsILi
「陳sir?」我打咗個突:「嗰一塊,係咩意思?」58Please respect copyright.PENANATzkVciNXKk
「I mean, that part of internet.」58Please respect copyright.PENANA6SWBGnBUAg
我定睛望住陳sir,佢固作鎮定咁轉過身,打開櫃桶,遞咗個信封俾我:「呢度係你今個月糧,冇問題嘅話,你出去叫阿軒入一入嚟。」58Please respect copyright.PENANAcO9MXox7MJ
我收起厚實一疊嘅信封,閂門。58Please respect copyright.PENANAthH7F7zTTf
嗰一塊上面。那一塊兒上面。58Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3FKyECdqP
香港邊有人咁樣講嘢㗎?
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