x
I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSS0RB1rn1
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkj8m53gF2
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvVe0TuUOV
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9j3pgx3ry
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQllKHTy4g7
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOE6g1GzqpC
Just silence.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXnR88XCvC
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjn7N8skTcM
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQd7lcxBz7A
But instead, I turned left.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSssImh6e93
Down to the garage level.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8vQ1aBGh9
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxywEzYu3aG
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpP0kZUXm7e
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5sX3L8JTy
Same humming vending machine.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuFPAUFQ41
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiK4psOv5o
My father's would've been three from the end.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqftxNRi7JI
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqYXSMc8fO
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPZ5TBR3qI
Boots too clean for the garage.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcyBXixfwL
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOWBeFjsHJ
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2faBrT0LQ
I could barely see past the brim.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShDYqakCrh
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjP8fg1un0y
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6EzlBlQS5
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEXzvlDT1p
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2pgiSNDWV
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFL7LSEdDZY
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqj0OOU2UhC
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqISxxYBv12
The way my mother cried without sound.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuo7p1JWad4
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAYAd3wUeW
In the masjids.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GTaQWXkyn
At the community center.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsALicxdLV1
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaA9jbv8PX
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAWhn9AbNh
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fMDGCOaOu
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYCCP763Km
Access.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI30vnSZwv2
An education I never dreamed of affording.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkZB9xl0rk
Tutors. Travel.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs75ej3iWFd
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTC12yzBwV
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOShACBOBPt
I learned quickly to keep my distance.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1H8f3RCvR3
To look, but not linger.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAq5zIygAAo
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThNx6zug0N
Closed my eyes.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS73Fu7TUsH
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZ3EMr05Ig
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡashTqSBmjc
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVkUpOOMcs
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEOnz8MhyF
No chatter. No phones ringing.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SVJW2uf3R
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEAgILP3XH
Too early.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ741VKZAKB7
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvIH3VrNXz
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2jCIs6BFI
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4m8MAflS7c
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNNzTpmJil
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOADFxI82TD
My stomach knotted.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFJWvXjx2T
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ409T4rYV2Z
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFPWERfIII
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuChlM84pT
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaxnXDWbpc
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAN6XMkfCB
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7K5BSwZ8k3
No.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfM4kFrwAg
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdZ1nLxarC
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAWIPXuFLm
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPE02L2kPBD
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IuocWhQ3g
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOwBN6Hh8L
