I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9AIM4GFqL
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPiByfYLm8
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpnDDmOEnw
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡst1htyUEf6
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQjtgtgTBo
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoG0XKt7DC
Just silence.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHPtzUGjFG
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NN2GbsKbe
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3YGcyiVGu
But instead, I turned left.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsueuJyJidZ
Down to the garage level.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhna55ufg1
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxPeJc2Q2z
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTjiIo4PQI
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1d6QbcHEU0
Same humming vending machine.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡts1zoVsTVc
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaphZgU68D
My father's would've been three from the end.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PrgF9alkY
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKbNApEKZm
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcerqlgOvF
Boots too clean for the garage.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4oeSI3ASs
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrGVfKGUwo
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkQGbBcE11
I could barely see past the brim.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBG7cXKim0r
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgBdse0sUx
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgeS2dZsQP
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAi6DGvCyJ
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvERbGa8gQ
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgRtYbg6W6
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoCH4yq7hc
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSuLf1yXjq
The way my mother cried without sound.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YJ5ERZEyB
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzZahho3PI
In the masjids.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGSrwyhdvD
At the community center.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEYSWJEcJ1
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilaMgYWFqQ
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzhsA5qu8f
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOptIFE6Pz
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4iZOeT0ob
Access.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILbrDf9mBi
An education I never dreamed of affording.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg6IBOlQP9
Tutors. Travel.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhQx3rCKfY
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOB9j2PWYFL
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJaWLo5yhR
I learned quickly to keep my distance.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvk42bM7bQR
To look, but not linger.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GMCZUGCDL
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIm4QW6g5s
Closed my eyes.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bp8a21mQl
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOX8xqIYUY
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptTSsyv0oz
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa6brpiIwY
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyNFqR89m4
No chatter. No phones ringing.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdijrVwswk
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyA6bucJzTX
Too early.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxNnwLH11g
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2h9eOmuCtu
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkFQpTZ2dP
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSHmOkbq7m
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCURUF8Ai4k
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1eL6cw1ER
My stomach knotted.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Q2qAAb16A
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡka1mTieojX
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPlfKTHqIt
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCTY5XwAzG
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGycxMNC2iv
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmQkf6TaQ6
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxt23uintL6
No.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVpQDBYTFg
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuzPweBaDH
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0Fcb98UeJ
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡts9jqhZKYc
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkvXNPxNPi
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
82Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAef1tDUS4N
