你好，我是莊坌但。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yLc9CK2GD
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuvquMdNgK
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv6L5VMhmM
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrpjkMaT7W
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32BIE7uJdt
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHISrwxO5b3
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1iU2HiUSt
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08IZNpZAkm
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftWUNRlmYb
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIt1DcwS99H
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhW5aPxTtJy
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytdxgpEVGk
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewLLNWZcoj
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YpIA3I1JN
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vGrsR6Mbc
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzbAC3A6rf
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoSUe5CPMx
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3TRoblvv7
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZ3oiYYL6Q
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpOj6I1K14
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAIV5WIP3b
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTX3N0RX56
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGAyWpexvp
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMscJ3VsBC
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXItgglMNU
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKDPJ6IfWD
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcmqcfZSEG
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaLLrtoLLY
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8VdHl32Gn
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44wTpWKjzo
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWDHsDAJ14
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEqvgkg517
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rxUsj1R3r
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz644tk2rt
「你好，我是……」467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsBeETDhdh
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Vd6xzk2FA
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpA46dleOdm
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uVFfLRuhG
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdPnPKG2BY
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAgCZoA6Dl
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1O5agS099w
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4v5fv5quYK
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDS46tBUM1
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWA6UOyUQ4
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyxbq0qmZP
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLXXLQf58e
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSQDtMPD2f
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgduXc7qs6T
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTNCy3sOHc
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMT3G6RUoV
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9GqZijNE5
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLA8xWUsMo
不好啊非常的不好啊！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvhxU5cekJ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPGuKFABDh
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9NV0xWqD4
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdBbRiDVMA
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpclicliLMc
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhhI1agqeo
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQRlwyK2zG
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBxmHepAMJ
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC33Od4fjuu
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGXZ4L9iR5
出了社會，總是得找份工作。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbpsDH48XA
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNp2kNzhnai
我自己買了台50CC通勤。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzE1jlP6Io
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0f85i7DJc
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ycyqCGwLV
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3taa7K8J1
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2AjffPAvB
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINeYrrdNju
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnUPx0PbaS
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuDk0PWgai
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkxLP8AgzE
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCFkoYaGkI
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9bJzs6YzSo
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbx5rgutAM
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZJQFCdD9Q
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMv00Jyi06
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdCH1NReVk
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2BCjT2Up6
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQXaiq4kaT
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaa2NfpwZV
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5ks9B6QUr
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNH4ivQGJ3
它熄火，我傻眼。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKqTBaIlBe
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwU8Apj9wl
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXEynXQytQ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBl6zyteWah
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyHcmVNT1W
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHRlZmKz44
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMBLkmheAo
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLoWFrGmy3
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxt9x2weyp
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifM3C7mgOh
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyETH2p2CyM
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BW0F2UsJK
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2Oa0uf6VJ
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQc0CLnLLb
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hUhfqhZY2
467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqizdwgncN
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！467Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZXlwLwGrb
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