你好，我是莊坌但。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡea8zZO5UAK
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2n62Xqrus
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ786I6jeOUA
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhA9I9PgEA
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgagX40E4N
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9nvrI7UcW
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzN5Gyer97w
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPGOh8aZmf
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyyssrJsrQ
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkcepJydL2
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh4PcrH7yf
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VdME7cyDZ
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO3qw4WuzD
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBVccB0YiZ
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEz3iwCXnT3
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcsddLGiRX
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYCeSXhFzs
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPNCzzmn4T
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtSOkkbIQl
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwvoZfBrRZ
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6StQm7cEyr
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhE7omHMKU5
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNg3fk9Eu0V
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIzJR06mJl
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfnw4cdU40
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4Ka2NKRUu
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzq8FOWRnM
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9m1w6KCpMe
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVxbwUNSiS
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iQY1rJHDI
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWQjBGhBeR
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xIqsIKj2C
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0LDePQFPX
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cvUsaY3Jk
「你好，我是……」429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRVC2AFCDJ
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDiAKET2KM
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvoFae7cHv
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQtPivWCaL
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxqh36spU1
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkCs2E7p4i
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLW0Ua66l1
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXubJAjaNTH
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKwOw31Jru
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KPAtB31Rx
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7I4cy6iEyH
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCkKgjuibZ
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsQuQY57jB
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUTpZ7Mnsx
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHkisPoLGr
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAt4ZGVCJwM
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhXCykwT8m
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmEi77O0up
不好啊非常的不好啊！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyikHgYwAtU
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffBhE7gITB
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjEGMEEd48
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPgTBLoL0R
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHPJUi1AOm
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkuSjwud5Y
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdp4b4g6ta
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3acywU6mHh
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1FkHrnJPp
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5VJspqSIS
出了社會，總是得找份工作。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNS5CkxAdG
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79c6xeb0Ay
我自己買了台50CC通勤。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4RdS2Ltby
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HdwFmL0SX
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTh00fHe7U
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaYSosi3SU
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcZfV3dx2j
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UqumVtaua
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1Q82SjDlH
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUY9WlGM8Es
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLqy9cCOiU
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtiRqSmEPF
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8HEesKkNN
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QgcgvuNpz
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lftn6BnUN
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVA9VtwE5pY
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEcwrvaOoo
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlM4McHlTq
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CpEV89JX3
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMirMPWJ90
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3ajHOtxUJ
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUagcfTwu8g
它熄火，我傻眼。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEu9KkMUxMs
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OiehWKAh6
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOV3DiePadb
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ0a839Vdy3
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqi55JrMEj
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DTotUEcZ9
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSWE382odo
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfq63y5B3zM
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz84N3GRvN
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe668NIUODB
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB28vs5O2Ok
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8q4NVuzNoj
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyinotHaMm
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxVzp5NOX6
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUvTXX1VsM
429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorzJ79cpBp
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！429Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2ROcJupjY
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