你好，我是莊坌但。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsDcQB8xJK
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3eetOleRJ
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQDeF9TPdK
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpKLs0CKLy
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRq1uFVayN
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDUqncfoIH
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfS0sRaG1d
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezxnDYdf5U
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoaHSKPuon
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ160Fu8GCrO
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhp67qvTOM
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNpbTJ6cW8
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LKxRTAG5C
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3V26xMFSXY
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEpWhhrhBu
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFo3VSlU1u
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Nmo0oFMhA
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3GY1fF67i
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rr7fDt2X5
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVotjxgruN
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lAysGWNEe
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodWKcabiK1
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGIZiAp2bL
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7NS7Ks05n
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuS8AIJTt5
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhG137JVA7P
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7vcu1swNN
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffs4dzKUec
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD49triWNP
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWWFVxxvM7
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYsByBp9be
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ224it7EwuJ
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7kx0eFIi3
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYBqReDdPI
「你好，我是……」450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTuBAtBnxP
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZgZDgatlm
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGH3xibNAM2
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqs7zrHWKla
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLlm2EFuZd
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmFajmOLbd
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrJGvMWzZR
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5X7D3QjuML
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9q7GLnI0V
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIisBN8SmNV
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJ4cI1mbnZ
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwut6HLu4Qe
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJrguNr6W9
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnfjvnRG18
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6np9Yvz6i
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzQ2F5Tlxs
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsqeVflcRt
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtphFIJntzS
不好啊非常的不好啊！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9uc59Ip9C
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4GI5BzZCi
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELJA2WIgNd
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCIwEQegeR
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWNZgkZGky
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOt7ARKyT6U
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmDkIPlRnz
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLEnPlaWZ6
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXo7D4lb6zk
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5keUX7KxfO
出了社會，總是得找份工作。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Qg5qCpCUL
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxfoqbKEBG
我自己買了台50CC通勤。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3LawyMrUr
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQZgectaUW
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2zKUM0C66
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MEjh9R7LW
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGKC7u7yas
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XviBubjph
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBjCcV23o0
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sAE4CVZA9
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5Vue7PWAU
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiKmgyQ8G5
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZEcv3mwMo
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3zzvIRcHI
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW92cjslS26
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCqWBMBQ8I
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBO2IuNPH4
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eROvSCB2Q
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG56atcI8ov
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRJjRwnIEc
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBU8DLDiKm5
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNR2clYTqP
它熄火，我傻眼。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyiaCvCldO
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAclyzFVjda
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6hXhDTCEn
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0i5lUZO7q7
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfoxKrGXDn
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8chvFnywrq
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXrx74QFH9
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0fvFPWPa2
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCon7O79Jw
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhC5X9JEPB
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvU1D7ENtLY
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhl9nXqgwe
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZzakWWUX1
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZI7nd1QzKJ
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKLCKCNzG1
450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOmamtTT3s
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！450Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGsbBBXjGC
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