你好，我是莊坌但。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AxbF6FdQe
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTauDhcEYx
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHGK4obkX6
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTdQ1d5Grc
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZ3wv7W4Cu
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLXXQLe2qF
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDrNLBFONt
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18QuOlznzI
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGQy1bLmRs
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXigJex7lF
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2jW61q3MG
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNalm7Jg5e3
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMi18G556lZ
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPma9zwmHI
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYKzz6LVUg
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsLrIdqHmZ
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IKCBIJbaQ
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfD10Y5FcJW
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pye2CQIpQ
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbUeIpIsDq
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThcc8jo4j4
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡct0bkfkggv
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdm6IhPLLT
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4Xuq8teVm
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Gfn1bkFj1
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGwkwM7sXu
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oxhdH3U9T
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCbhknnWr5
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBpgSMCsd2
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IBzHPkAQD
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIXfek3Dkn
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B5cXfzxTd
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oELy01atY
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGaWZlc8of
「你好，我是……」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpi6PDwZy1q
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXfAN9v0V5
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJI0SQR2nr
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3I3hqiPme
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokfEecs0yW
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk367t4EKBU
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hLGzVocwK
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AJrN6XovA
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSf2S3guuKs
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYbEh2PfnO
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmGW9n1nZB
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzr7im2wFwC
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9sHwlN68h
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAfSm9kCdT
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DbAWTwk3g
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqIOoYFqS0
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYnZK8LWR9
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKS3M1wbGKo
不好啊非常的不好啊！430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWw6IWAUpI
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRWgT1WGHlK
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BspTiwyB2
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjsxoHhRYq
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1XRrKv0kw
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YGdwl2JF3
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorsZVHwkjR
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLobQ1u6RA
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUTfvOXdpU
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3zWwZYrRp
出了社會，總是得找份工作。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZRaiGVeJ3
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaibvgl9hS
我自己買了台50CC通勤。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5C2c5mNEM
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkAXxkHWFO
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7si8bzJ8f
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sMEDyqLSn
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmPqmqoaQN
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡea5T9gUPLv
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fJNYDcgW0
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hxjLEOnpM
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2w6zEUWTl
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvaXfPa2g0
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusO1TQmL3m
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JH2BFvaZN
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAfZHk0qgc
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynREqa6Cdu
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXpg5JjnKV
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Qs4RxfV6d
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDOwraDFjs
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQCRi8orG9
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtD496lSX4
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHjUCPzjhu
它熄火，我傻眼。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsnNuQ8rV9
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWzki3ZMV7
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdF9TQYDuK
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDcDzT8tZ7
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAZrJa6DqU
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbzu37UgOE
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpmN7W6yyC
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5TMxQySEc
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fLNLSjWUk
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZM6XsO2aic
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsidJtnkQHn
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoMZG7vR4j
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREBqEGNvf1
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr4Z8XYYbh
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKH8n3P2yq
430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKE4SDZFU2
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！430Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJrm8D9fnf
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