你好，我是莊坌但。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsx7WsM1Pi4
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKVNwopNe5
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUD2ZKqojM
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1bm6xKlxo
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfVYYNBYsI
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSDylqtYhx
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3Mx69CRRR
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EbUs8WshN
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZzcRhRmIs
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx3uZWR2sk
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jlmxUfLh2
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndQmP0XnoS
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWwbcnitJB
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkHU37iIS7
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2ZCfdzBlP
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2hBArvmUR
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfncBIoHPj
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjubJF4A19
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBpG2A2nR4
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpzAcA4sWd
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSh9GPHI6y
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcewjfTDud
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngW7azOZpk
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLf2NW223c
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRW1trncd4
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMItqIx0FKN
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkco9bKFqv9
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0yzCvmOUb
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZxAzL0M4Y
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJD2rk4gYH
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcA5Bsm6T2a
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQAXJluo1x
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2iTTmA9A4
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZULAS6KDR
「你好，我是……」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzz7DuuJmwo
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhqI2mY8C4
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9RAMq9LpY
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8muaCVQ1Vd
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhh1NE2TUDw
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGiUp0OUN6
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMlM6CuFM8
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1zbIxufRX
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmQZY3B7RY
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPmrLQfo3b
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXNct2I2Nr
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6csB6nsiwP
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOCSbNz637
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcB9T7nyyQr
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxBCfEy9r5
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0ZaqTnRRd
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGp74IuB4E
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVODomh4b2
不好啊非常的不好啊！505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9wSxPzDC2
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09NVr8paLk
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJwA8hNVsT
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDO5dCm4fJS
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraaJmQLzWr
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbaDxfVgtt
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wyvDCQwiA
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MZmEemmm1
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2g3TWWK1g
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWadJXLFoWt
出了社會，總是得找份工作。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSs2d5s84s
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotb8MR2ZM9
我自己買了台50CC通勤。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvczH1ffrvv
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDztNlU7Td
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0BrDgVxi8
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0z8O83TPR
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4f1FxsR5f
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJR0pukorV
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuT28FyD2Sr
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrYfrjGkQm
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRUSE1I97C
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFh2L0HPcai
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTwxTsMN8A
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eJegn7eEn
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQ5NmM1ivm
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxpIhjgIRX
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgFX97e3Ol
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44tLydE4eK
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkZzmJUhkO
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoovPvNtL6g
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwfKsErk2L
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6JJqNVVKu
它熄火，我傻眼。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZbIMJ11w7
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnigqKbTlRz
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKmBHsutKi
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSfG8RTW2D
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszyaCitXwV
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkzMDatRMr
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyXSfs1jFD
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmexFkytu8
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxjUJ3oONn
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbphXcJ8Lf9
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡithN2Ky2db
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZqMDOAzUY
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdeZ9CVfFx
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaXHAtlryd
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyLOaqRYCf
505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3JGmeyE9p
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！505Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSmx54qs51
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