When I woke up, I was sad, that kind of deep sad. It felt like my chest had been filled with heavy cement. And I truly wasn't sure I could even move, but I still found the strength to lift my head from the top of the back car door, and whip the moist and crusty clumps from the corners of my eyes.685Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRJ5KtMGpK
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“Where are we now?” I asked scooting up behind my mom’s chair. And as the words left my mouth I realized how stupid I sounded, Hilliard was only a half hour away from Gahanna.
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“Five more minutes.” She said. Her peach-colored skin and dark brown eyes reflected in the rear-view mirror. Mom always had a beauty to her. Long, curly dark blonde hair and natural deep red lips. Short eyelashes and a plump face. Sometimes I wished I had the rare type of beauty.
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Dan and Phil (my cats) rested in the seat beside me. They laid curled in a ball purring and sniffling and possibly snoring. My dad was in the passenger seat, deeply asleep. Bits of his light green eyes could be seen through his eyelids. Most people showed what they were dreaming about through their facial expressions, but that was never the case with dad.
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I felt a sharp pain in my ear, and it was traveling to my jaw. “My ear still hurts.”
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Mom chuckled slightly, looking in her mirror at me. “You’ll be fine sweetheart,” she said it quickly while rasping her nails under her chin. “We’ll keep a cotton ball in it and you’ll start taking your medication tonight.”
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After a few minutes of more driving, we passed a fence-white sign that said: WELCOME TO THE CITY OF HILLIARD. The last time I saw that sign, I was little, and we were going the opposite way. My head spilled deep into my palm once we passed it. And we only kept going about twenty more minutes until we made an abrupt turn into a driveway made of crumbling tar.
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The new house wasn’t much, it sat on a corner with a gigantic tree looming over the front of it, and with a small old wooden bench alongside the tree. And grass was a deep moss green, tall, and with brown patches everywhere. Dad had the movers put all the furniture in place days before. Mom shook him awake and I scooped up Dan and Phil and grabbed the small white bag holding my pain pills.
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The rest of that afternoon, we all emptied the car of bags and boxes and other little things. Mom stayed in the kitchen to put away dishes and small knickknacks. Dad helped, even though organization wasn’t one of his strengths. Phil and Dan stayed up on top on the porch eating and drinking. Sometimes I couldn't stand feeding them, all they would do is get food everywhere, and I'd be the one to clean it up. They stopped eating of course, when the pizza man went in and out of the house.
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“Pizza’s here!” shouted mom from the kitchen window.
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“Come on Esther!” said dad in the doorway.
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Their voices echoed in my ears before I hastened from the mounds of dirt a few hillocks away, down by this tree-surrounded water flow that ran beside the house and a couple others. I carried Dan and Phil’s bowls inside, and they followed me.
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The pizza was fresh, so it was scorching hot and unbelievebly messy. So mom made me stuff the napkins down in my shirt. I ate a couple slices while my mom and dad talked about work, and I realized that they both changed. Mom was in her favorite white night gown and slippers, and dad was in a black t-shirt and his favorite pajama pants.
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“So,” mom said trying to break the silence. “Why don’t we all go out tomorrow?” she turned to me and then to dad.
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“Yeah,” dad looked uncomfortably excited. “As a family.”
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“Can’t I stay home? Technically, I have a giant hole in my ear.”
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Dad laughed beneath his breathe. “Esther, this is exactly what I'm talking about when I say you need to get out the house.”
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I loved my parents, I really did, but they always badgered me about getting out of the house and making new friends. I didn't want, I didn't want to do anything. And once we finished dinner, I lugged myself to my room without a word. Dan was spread out over my bed, and Phil found a way to get up onto my windowsill.
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My bed, and all of my other furniture was in place, but off in a corner was all my clothes and posters stuffed into individual boxes. I rummaged through most of them to change into a pair of sweatpants and a grey t-shirt, and to grab The House of the Scorpion. It was by far, my favorite book, I could never get tired of it. It was one of the very few things that made me smile anymore.
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I stayed up late that night reading. I had to keep my head propped up so I wouldn’t push the cotton ball further back into my ear. Honestly, I was worried about it getting stuck in the hole, and then having the doctor cut off my ear just to get it out. I closed the book and got up to use the bathroom. I hated falling asleep, because all I'd do was wake up in the middle of the night and cry. But no matter how much I hated it, I still drifted off to sleep.
❤
Mom woke me up late the next morning, my eyes were still slightly red and puffy from the crying. It took me a while to get fully out of bed but I willed myself. I had to go, I had to make my parents happy. And so, I showered, and got dressed.
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Dad drove us to downtown Hilliard. His white expedition truck was older than me, so it rattled and bounced. And Every time it did, it jostled me to the side, no matter how tight my seatbelt was. The stores squished together more and more as we got closer to the mall. The sidewalks looked like red tiled floors. Hilliard reminded me of what towns were like in the nineteen-forties.
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We went a few more short miles, when mom took the auxiliary cord from my phone and looked at me through the rear-view mirror. “Esther, I know you don’t like talking about these things but your dad and I have been very concerned for you,”
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“Why?” I asked.
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Dad quickly looked back at me and then back to the road. “Sweetheart, I see you go into the bathroom sometimes, and I see you look at yourself in the mirror like you wish you could change everything.”
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“Dad, I’m okay, you don't have to worry.” I insisted.
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Mom turned in her seat. “You barely eat or leave the house.”
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“That’s because sometimes, I have nothing to do.”
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Dad adjusted his mirror. “Esther, I made you an appointment to go talk to someone.”
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“Why?” my jaw almost dropped. “I’m perfectly fine, I just want to be left alone”
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Mom shook her head. “Even if you argue with us, we’re still going to make you go. You’ll be meeting with her every Wednesday until we can see that you’re happy. Her name’s Marie Swayze.”
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We pulled into the parking lot of the Tuttle Crossing mall. Dad got out the car and opened the doors for me and mom. They told me not to talk to strangers and not to get into cars with random people, and while we looked for carts mom told me, “We’ll be shopping.”
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Dad ran his fingers through my hair before he walked off and said, “And think about what we told you.”
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“Okay dad.” I said nodding. I walked off to the Banes and Noble across the street. I liked sitting in the comfortable leather chairs they had in between the bookshelves. And once I sat in one, I began flipping through various manga books. My legs were crossed, buried beneath my body. I pulled my phone from my pocket and put in my earphones. I let a “One Direction” play on a loop while I read, and in the middle of sentence, I turned around.
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A boy was staring at me.
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He was gorgeous. Deep violet-blue eyes and long dark brown hair. High cheekbones and perfect fair skin. Rugged biceps and a tall stature. Black leather boots, dark blue jeans, and a flannel short-sleeve shirt hanging high on his large chest. And he was wearing a brown cowboy hat. Only one thing stood out, other than his hat and how tall he was. A prostatic arm. It was a bright silver color.
I looked away from him for only a few seconds, suddenly aware of my own deficiencies. My long, stringy, sandy blonde hair, my big hazel-green eyes, thin lips, and round plump face. And I was short, and had acne painted on every part of my face.
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He was standing in the “bargain books” section. And when I looked straight at him, he smiled, letting his cheeks turn a deep red, and quickly twisted around. But when he did, his head hit the edge of the book case, and he held both of his temples. I could hear him cursing to himself.
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I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my giggling, as I walked toward him. When I got over there, I took out my earphones and stuffed them back into my pocket. Leaning against the bookcase, I said, “I’m pretty sure that book case was always there.”
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“It wasn’t always there.” his laugh spaced out his words.
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My smile got bigger as I pushed strands of hair behind my ear. “And you hit it because you were staring at me.”
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“I wasn’t staring.”
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“Oh Really?”
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“I’m sorry, it’s just, the last time I saw a girl so beautiful…” he cut off for a short second before starting again. “Actually, I’ve never seen a girl so beautiful.”
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I couldn’t tell whether I was blushing or not, but my cheeks felt like they were on fire. And my heart actually began to race. The way he looked at me. It filled my stomach with butterflies. No. I couldn't believe him, he was lying. “I’m not beau-”
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“Why wouldn’t you think so?” he folded his arms basically pouting.
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“I don’t know. I just don’t see it.” I could feel tears hiding behind eyes.
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He tilted his head a bit, his bright eyes scanning over me. “What’s your name?”
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It took me longer to answer him than I thought. “Esther.”
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“I’d love to know your full name.”
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“Esther Rose Johnson.”
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“Toby, Toby Owen Callaghan.”
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This time, I was the one to fold my arms. “Nice.”
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“I know.” He answered.
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“Esther!!” my head did almost a complete one-eighty when I heard mom calling for me outside the store. She and dad were standing outside holding a bunch of bags, both rocking back and forth from the weight pulling down on their arms. I basically gave Toby a half-hearted smile and left him alone.
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Back home, I helped mom and dad restock the fridge. And when we were done, we all sat in the living room together and watched some movies, and one was about talking rabbits. It was actually quite funny. Soon it was time for dinner, so mom and dad were in the kitchen working to cook carrots and rice and defrost pieces of chicken.
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I stayed on the couch attempting to find more things to watch. Dan and Phil were, lazily, across from me on the loveseat. The living room wasn’t small but wasn’t big. Nothing but a couch, a loveseat, a coffee table, a TV and a flowered rug.
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While dad was finishing dinner, mom came out into the living room and flopped down right beside me. “I saw you with that boy.”
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“Yeah, you’re not going to go overly protective mom on me right?”
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“Of course I am! Your father owns a bat!”685Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxct8z2sY4f
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“And you just ruined it!”
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“Did you two do anything?”
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“Mom, are you asking if we had sex?”
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“Esther Rose Johnson!” mom pouted. “You know me so well!”685Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8V0XjENMJh
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I clicked the TV off, sat the remote on the table, and turned to her. “Yeah, we had sex in the bathroom and now I’m pretty sure I have herpes.”
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She put her arm around my shoulders and kissed my forehead. “You’re too much!”
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“I know mom.”685Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUIiQP97Ek
