Nicholas lowered his freshly delivered crisp copy of the Pornography Digest, this months issue ‘Edging for Idiots’
His eyes had become weary and the articles illuminated nothing he didn’t already know about tightrope walking the carnal precipice. As he adjusted his nutsack in boredom Sharlto opened the door to the apartment, his clothes dripping wet.
‘Man it’s raining cats and dogs out there, so glad to be home and done with work for the day, it’s perfect weather to watch a film, you wanna?’
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Nick looked suspiciously at Sharlto
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‘What kinda film were you thinking..?’
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‘Well since we watched Planet of the Gapes last night, how about we watch a non-porno tonight, have you seen Saturday Night Fever?’
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‘Nah I haven’t seen that, I’d be keen though, John Travolta all oiled up and shit, reminds me of a p…
uh piece of cinema I saw ages ago.’
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‘I think it’s best we alternate if possible, it makes the films more impactful and the porn more novel.’
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‘We shouldn’t have to alternate, why can’t we just have a week of watching Scorsese films?’
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‘Nick you’re just not being honest with yourself man.’
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‘Dude we’ve gotta get out of Melbourne, I feel like the walls are closing in. Every time I leave the house I see more and more cops busting people who’ve missed their dose. It’s only a matter of time before they realise we’ve been alternating films. If they pick us up and do a swab we’re fucked, we have to leave this place man, do you know anyone who could get us on a boat to New Zealand? If we could get there, would you want to?’
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‘Fuck dude.. you wanna totally relocate, if we get caught leaving you know what’ll happen to us right?’
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‘Yes I know the risks man.. you don’t wanna just sit here for the rest of your life watching porno parody’s do you?’
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Shartlo subtlety grinned.
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‘Oh fuck off dude you can’t seriously tell me you wanna just sit around here doing that?!’
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‘Nah nah I’m just fucking with you dude, I’m on board, and besides, if you don’t have a plan in life, you become part of someone else’s plan.’
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‘Nanthony shook his head in agreement, I’m feelin ya bro, now let’s roast a stogie.’
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Pulling a marijuana cigarette from his pocket Nicholas set it ablaze with a stove top lighter, its cracked and worn speaker made the faint noises of a cheap orgasm as it roared into action.
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Sharlto looked at Nick puzzled. ‘I thought you said we were gonna smoke a stogie, that’s a joint.’
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Nick scoffed, ‘it’s all the same shit bro, just smoke the fucking thing and stop complaining, cigars are dope.’
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