這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwaGFvxFy2
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8LkrIxaMy
作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrSgUih6Rt
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7T80f2yHj
女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mbXFOS4cm
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqU9H1y2pty
可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbobhoJaOz
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjgXEnGiwp
因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8mATdP0zP
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGdOQsr6zy
「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVXcK2HoqR
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WBEWMe1s8
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBzxF924Wn
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbcYkUahH1
我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhckEC4Y2DF
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59sz2lJ2WJ
「睇下我老母點應你囉。」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgrHeUltaZ
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8iTINz4ts
我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VKpmd3faU
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffrHvU9sgO
想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIYKY1zQIv
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiocsYpT3LS
「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07RWU0EN7F
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkY5rsm4wW
她按著肚輕輕點頭。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcrkvLSydH
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VwdZ7hKFd
「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjkNRxOtAI
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdc9FBuw1vz
「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrzC0Yr1u6
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvxFr7nzHu
想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZDevmldaz
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHx8e0XRk9J
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjj9jWqi6e1
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTR70l9mkY
「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDO9s11cz8P
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwmOrojXfX
看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqkVwbCMNW
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7afvkIF1BP
她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI981BDUCDb
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MsSWMswtk
「辣架?」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgwII8iYIE
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKkUT7WYZG
我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQQgqYVCyT
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbwOaRO8Vz
「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNRHISpYXy
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4bYKN8ZTJ
她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubzYQkazrU
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIH7dipE6cy
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQHahspw0V
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jImWwao8W
「唔該。」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUDWHjKA7v
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3f0IkxdNZ3
「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwb4OoD87rG
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBSDPzBsCI
「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZBGOyIfio
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrwN1szVBU
我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwG3NlwTfh
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQguPnsc69
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpxi3YpRIP
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbs06a7pQph
她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGkHGRABKk
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXE4eUn6ceA
「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMIqKmL7R2
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygqD40ifxD
被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7s93gU49KE
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhgRMFEuqh
「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPW6FWHzNOT
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3sehldpNe
我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEWxCoAfcN
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeJmeahpdL
尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsYt0E5GfW
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgVyEbhbcQ
老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOokGWWiSaA
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVs0gMhheS1
「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyWXYPieyl
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hpnHPQ0iF
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡct8jtkFMHw
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFJ86h8JCH
是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNF5VhDHug
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCl0j8EgZKV
「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBusHlZTex
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtN75RW7Re
WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHutoxZm3b
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEeDsjjpow
「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcHde1Yz0O
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaVtwWKEIr
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8SjrR2UV7
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmyS8Hfua9
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEVZ5L3nVu
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGhozXslIL
「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcJTGUwyBp
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNl3MzMQOR6
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwffR2yXv7
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlBYVxhieV
「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OvrMggiIA
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScxtDZvieh
「茶你老…」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡou2fVTkn9y
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJytJwbdz0P
「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0GUVZoaL0
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuMfNdjeYd
我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4N8Sym8rx
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1qk90Xebr
「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbQ8wBYOWq
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OkWbgo4HT
「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zyhOCEy5T
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12W7dT9jmX
我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y8inni1n2
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeDDGQ3KtQ
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVH7ABnvhz
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEfmhjjlO0
我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpnwuWIxH8
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDBxXZe3pN
「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gTebC5DTQ
284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfc2V6ZE17
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…284Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnU7kwd89ka
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