這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYrWtSOlRL
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0QtOzBdRW
作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTQnRtASCL
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVR9RAVd3VX
女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1QMmK0yaO
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGArNbAXRt
可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnw36G8pEJJ
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4tf7KPgCP
因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHAEEt35fa
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcVdOkoVPb
「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMhH5qw61j
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrJuK7a68P
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRhmlWafYZ
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFXojOIj2t
我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZCL9K0ti1
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZgiUEWyzz
「睇下我老母點應你囉。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUd9aj4kFN0
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFstiQHQXfp
我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoqu4tVvxk
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9wo6eTgQx
想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwepxof68Fu
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8E7J7w7Dx1
「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBN2QAeJQD
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVdWHp4w6E
她按著肚輕輕點頭。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKS3WKC581
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrptF6jMAMg
「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlSLggq8pM
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS43g2YBoEp
「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDZ38TfXZi
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfm5RianKU
想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzXLH4k6pP
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodby3iNK1x
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s7sHZqa1W
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWbYrffJ2y
「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU3Mcq3iAw
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMFOCxK3an
看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxH79YBhBO
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclEvjcb5RS
她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfDFyKMlR6
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsqFZQILj7
「辣架?」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vk7o7E4Ns
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MWHeENaGO
我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JraS1F5GP
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU1sv6dxzF
「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxauMfTgzD
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecnq3C95AH
她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqSn54udyo
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTonftujv0
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Nvu8kLv3h
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbmRvEDAlR
「唔該。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUkFmHVd45
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizoYiW87M3
「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlJMK8NLCR
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwc3EvIy8oz
「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHWj3RiV6p
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlxpO0SgNS
我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqE6zeHzOuM
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8O2w3fC6I
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodWo77SnXs
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf38zhTTDCW
她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWC6M33MdI
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0kal3KOdb
「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hhxPNkfT9
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwetZaWfNBy
被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmygkyG3Hl
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzmSvrQkdk
「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZIAxLU3Ar
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFKC7r3wgO
我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡek8L4YKdGT
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1ir6RQ3nd
尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgqB8pPoEu
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9bgKNjsRY
老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbjOBZuq6t
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4ypGS3Bcq
「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDD5GMNlYn
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZKOgNKf31
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDevEU1DDYX
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuXKs9fwY3
是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYyMcQ7Pox
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7qzYy75Az
「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqeID10g8c
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH59B6wL6ti
WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijF4AJEyXm
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5lGhKziLd
「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvArRuBSLa
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnxJDMrVN1
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQ6mOe6vLS
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuSbrDyvmi
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t1fGDWB9i
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4kQxFL5uW
「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHCxhXqZ8P
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmH9RRm1cfw
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBanl6QYzc
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzcESD07p3
「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWI73bDxz5w
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1IFeukHcG
「茶你老…」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKqMXtqQFk
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQbf0mKQTp
「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7b2ifbMkfE
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFetJ6ivSnw
我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡok2KiVqi3S
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDI3Ve2UpYT
「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAcQhyky5M
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM2coK9qDi
「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCVHlzQxJ6
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAUSIoQaep
我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynG3tNbPCF
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahdvSvy02g
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcnkIdeW1X
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSF4GZPLwx
我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTq2mKpi7L
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlfZJDlyNP
「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxufo2yCGdX
285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdWhjOPo3b
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…285Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dmMM1LAoB
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