“Alfred,” Batman said, “I need to think about what’s been going on recently. I’m going to Cinnabon.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpNhsG7Ami
“Yes sir, very good.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLMfIMXfJd
Batman gets in the Batmobile and activates Ludicrous speed, and ends up at Cinnabon in Omaha Nebraska. He walks up to the counter to order his cinnabon food.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIs7zh88AGC
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Says a bored gray wolf from behind the counter.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7Kj3Scxn6
“I would like a cinnamon roll, please.” Batman says.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPPbfgJkFX
“Sorry, we don’t sell cinnamon rolls anymore.” Legoshi says.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXywyCG1JVd
“What the hell do you mean!” Batman yells, “This is a Cinnabon!”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFk8SgxacQ
“Sir, please calm down.”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT2DkUddCo
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLe9jPUmVQ
“Calm down? Do you know who I am?!? I’m the goddamn Batman! I want to speak to your manager.”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6sHv0ECzu
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD3n7Gev9B
Legoshi sighs.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fA1gymfgB
“Gene,” he calls, “there’s an unhappy customer who wants to see you.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiU7M4gzHq
“Hi, I’m Gene Takovic,” Gene says, walking through the door, “did you know you don’t have rights? Well, the Cinnabon terms of service says you don’t.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Jjh5TKZJ8
“I want a Cinnabon! And I want it now!” Yells Batman
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstTikoI7zI
“Why don’t we go speak over there, Mr. Man,” Gene says and points to a restaurant on the other side of the mall called Cooper’s Bar.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnn9HabbMbz
Batman and Gene walk over to Cooper’s Bar and sit down.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71I6tMx21k
“Now you see,” Gene says, “Cooper’s Bar has almost put us out of business. We don’t have any money to make cinnamon rolls anymore.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtakInWvx4z
Suddenly an angry blonde woman walks in.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLfy9CCET9
“Oh no…” Gene says.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlbaO3JJdX
“What, who is she?” Batman says, “is she a villain?
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXU16TJtxv
“Worse." Gene says, “My ex-wife Kim Sexler, biggest dick in Hollywood.”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5EGZJEfIS
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAXq9J4gdV
“WHERE IS AMY SCHUMER YOU BASTARD???” Kim screams and then drop kicks a three year old child.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuiXtaChoF
Batman stands up.425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkEPfEtDB0
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpR2E5ko0w
“I will not stand for this abuse and violence against children!” He yells, “You’re going straight to Arkham Asylum.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrv13bbKZJk
Kim looks deep into Batman’s soul and for five minutes she stares at him in complete silence, unblinking.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPN9jhsCGD
“Ok.” she finally says.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvpccmUAWZ
Batman is so intimidated he runs away and gets in a taxi cab because he forgot the keys to the batmobile.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjCD3rTGcg
“Take me to the nearest Cinnabon.” Batman says, still hungry for a cinnamon roll.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XuqGkgJ8c
The driver starts driving, and Batman sits back and relaxes. He starts looking out the window, when something catches his attention from the corner of his eye. He has a sticker in the front with Gotham, New Jersey written on it, and realizes he recognizes the driver as a passerby after his parents’ murder.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnFVpovSwy
Batman starts sweating. Is it possible he could see through his disguise? No, surely not! He must trust in his disguise.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsp9TrPcb8w
Suddenly the taxi driver turned around, and Batman quickly jumped out the window of the moving car to defuse the situation.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4j8JHtYXR
He walked up to a man standing around with a baseball bat.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxzQAG4HZ4
“Sir,” Batman says, “do you know where a billionaire CEO vigilante who dresses up like a bat could go to get a cinnamon roll around here?”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDNFb4B9UL
“Yes, I know of a place exactly like you speak of,” the man says and points to a huge tall building in the sky, “It’s called the Citadel, but no one can get to it.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nA4H4MoUS
“And why is that?”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztswTAwD5M
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ElunLgA96
“Because Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, is keeping it from us, and even I, Rick Grimes, have no hope of defeating her.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5iFQ6uKOr
Rick looked at his baseball bat.
“This was the baseball bat of my best friend, Mae Borowski. She died trying to get that cinnamon roll…”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTx5Vs63ON
“I know how it feels to lose someone close to you.” Batman says, remembering how he lost his teddy bear Cletus in the movie theater before his parents were murdered.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFS0mGq5fp
Batman put his hand on Rick’s shoulder.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqpopwr0W5
“I will help you find the cinnamon roll, and then we will eat it. Together.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡue3XpGzxSf
Batman and Rick began their journey to the famed cinnamon roll, killing the zombies of people who have been deprived of cinnamon rolls too long.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpjQFLngCT
Suddenly a man who neither Batman nor Rick had ever seen before ran up to them.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FhHBZDEyu
“Hey, Batman!” He yelled excitedly, “remember me?”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIF73X26Bcj
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y2d99D8JR
“What, no,” Batman says, “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
“From the taxi cab earlier, remember?” he said, disappointed.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKg4pu1vU6a
“No, the guy from the taxi cab looked way different and scarier. You look like you probably use 4chan.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ptfj4cOSn
He crossed his arms.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQASaSnKTQx
“My name Jeff,” Jeff says, “and you will take me with you.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqrKJD7fAj
“Fine whatever but you’re stupid.” Batman says, and Batman, Jeff, and Rick finally reach the Citadel and spend 10 hours going up elevators when the elevator stops. The door opens into a small chamber and they walk in, and Rick’s bat and Batman’s batarangs and Jeff’s taxi keys are pulled away from them.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpLlxDa2m4
Lightning shot out of the walls and struck their weapons, and they began to glow blue. They picked up their weapons and the door opened up to reveal an army of Amy Schumer clones, all screaming terrible jokes about men as loud as they could.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7oADhSMKe
Rick Grimes looked at his bat, and remembered the last time he came here. He remembered seeing Mae ripped apart by Amy Schumer right in front of his eyes. He slowly looked up and Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar began playing over speakers on loop.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQMnT74QKf
“This time…it’s personal.” He says.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSn6hTvnGa9
They rush into combat, all fighting valiantly. Jeff slices through Amy clones effortlessly with his key, Batman’s batarang becomes an Amy Schumer seeking weapon of destruction, and Rick obliterates each clone who attacks him with a single blow from his bat. They quickly begin making their way through the massive crowd.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIBuisPY52
“Don’t Look Up is the name of the movie? More like don’t look down the barrel of Alec Baldwin’s shotgun!” Screams one of the Schumers and punches Batman in the face, knocking him down to the ground. Jeff tries to stab her but she yells “My husband goes down on me, or as he calls it Squid Game, so he’s in my Nightmare Alley, my House of Gucci, I say C’mon C’mon, he goes tick tick BOOM, he Belfast. I say get off my Dune and that’s how our son was born.” and Jeff is so shocked at how horrible what he just heard is that he drops his key and starts crying.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTmCx4txzd
“Impossible, it can’t be!” Rick yells, “It’s the real Amy Schumer!”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKOjLDVZGu
“Then the only way we can beat her,” Jeff says, “is by telling a joke so great she can’t possibly go on!”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lQmAcQZSC
“Knock knock!” Yells Batman.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInAowOCzBH
“Who’s there?” Says Amy Schumer.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CrGeNRkhB
“Doctor.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfGy0uM66y
Amy grins psychotically, like a murderer stalking their victim.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRVO8JUsIo
“Oh, that’s alright!” She yells, “We don’t need a doctor, the ambulance already showed up!”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHDLizhQhK
Batman and Jeff scream in agony at how quickly and terribly she defused his joke.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaLZZroYPO
Rick had other plans. Suddenly they felt the temperature drop from 90 degrees to 76 degrees, and Amy Schumer’s smile faded.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rvNjg4aMO
“No! Not 76 degrees, anything but that!” Amy yelled, “The optimal temperature for comedic timing!”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gc95DMI4j
Rick stands 50-80 centimeters from her and raises one of his arms straight upward at a fifteen degree angle from his body, setting up all the conditions perfectly for ideal humor.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJ0QHoWs4G
Amy screeches louder than any human ever has before while Rick states and spells his name, provides a brief synopsis of the joke including the specific times she’ll laugh, and spells out his name a second time.
“Knock knock.” Rick says.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B09IuMnNc
“Wh-who’s there?”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBffcczeZ7i
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0w6QKEq5Uv
“Banana.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW45NbjnahC
“Banano who?”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8iybtXeKy
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlItdC0g1I
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwNBB1Fkzg
“Banana.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoQtluR8py
“Banano who?”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTeioZRG3z
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUshqISqV1
“Banana.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMt69BQqpq
“Banano who?”
“Orange.”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡERNiZl6vjx
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevay8EGLTS
“Orange who?”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXeKgd3C7Y
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasy2PpgC5G
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoKKqZ86Uh
Amy’s heart stops, and she falls to the ground dead as Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar finally stops.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72n7tsTcG8
“I’m doney,” Rick says, “with the funny.”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdF9aC1YqS
They all look at each other, and nod their heads in agreement, and wade through the corpses of Amy Schumer to the huge metal door.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0Si6clqoe
Suddenly it opens into a huge room with Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, standing in the middle, and at the end the final cinnamon roll.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOH0EoRPso
“So, you three killed Amy Schumer?”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxATGSQX3PH
“Y-yes.” Batman says, already feeling intimidated again.
“...Ok.” Kim says.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLhRoh7eyP
All three of them almost start crying out of fear, but keep themselves composed.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVm35Vtesjo
They each begin attacking from different angles, but she expertly dodges each hit.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDOdfuWP3U
Finally, Rick’s bat connects with her torso but the bat explodes, throwing Rick back.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEJB6mnH8O
“H-how?” He asks.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBScyzm7fvR
“Nanomachines, son.” Kim says with a smirk and then breaks his back, killing him.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrplS6MIfm
“NO!” Jeff yells and rushes at her.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCTcccPXEU
Without even a thought Kim hits him over the head with a cup that says “World’s 2nd Best TV Executive” and Jeff slips and hits his head and dies.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z9dTlKEtL
Recognizing he has no chance of ever winning, Batman quickly shuffles back away from her in terror, when he remembers what his Uncle Ben told him all those years ago.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZnlYoYMay
“Memes, Bruce.” Ben said, “Memes are the DNA of the soul. With great power comes great responsibility. When life gives you lemons, burn life’s house down! Do you know who ate all the donuts?”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9w6JXoLOBD
Inspired by his Uncle’s wise words, he was able to catch Kim Sexler’s attack.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOp47m4DFO
They exchanged punches so quickly that it was impossible for the naked eye to detect, each tanking every single blow. Batman knew what he must do to defeat Kim and finally get that cinnamon roll, he must break his one and only rule. Batman takes out a Desert Eagle and shoots Kim through the face.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvZQHsAAIF
“I, I….” Kim says, struggling to stay alive, “this is…chicanery.” And then she drops dead.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnBbZpVtcv
Finally, nothing stood between Batman and his cinnamon roll. All this work, all this violence, all this bloodshed, this is what it was for. He slowly walked towards it, chills going down his spine just thinking about it.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VJ9Rqv3OD
"I'm sorry we couldn't eat it together like I wanted, Rick," Batman says, "but I will eat it for the both of us."
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP3LG1QttN
Suddenly Legoshi picked up the cinnamon roll and ate it.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWulhaJS1be
“WHAT?” Screamed Batman.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJIe5MNR3f
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Legoshi says.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLM2frqY1gC
“P-please,” Batman says, “I just want a cinnamon roll.”425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvT44MIEGG
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbISovsw1ni
“Sir, I already told you we’re out of cinnamon rolls. Do I need to call my manager again?”
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUyDwhcO0a
Batman slowly fell to his knees and then onto his side, and began crying on the floor.
425Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKCcZUaTZU
THE END.
ns216.73.216.39da2
