“Alfred,” Batman said, “I need to think about what’s been going on recently. I’m going to Cinnabon.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd8ChdIwbC
“Yes sir, very good.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67iEr5fK8L
Batman gets in the Batmobile and activates Ludicrous speed, and ends up at Cinnabon in Omaha Nebraska. He walks up to the counter to order his cinnabon food.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCL5UgrpAGU
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Says a bored gray wolf from behind the counter.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi646xtqCdm
“I would like a cinnamon roll, please.” Batman says.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nbmk3ifYp
“Sorry, we don’t sell cinnamon rolls anymore.” Legoshi says.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWbv4LrK71
“What the hell do you mean!” Batman yells, “This is a Cinnabon!”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LVjAZZM1L
“Sir, please calm down.”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEak26XUGo
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfVW6pdiVm
“Calm down? Do you know who I am?!? I’m the goddamn Batman! I want to speak to your manager.”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFgkkaTXeY
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRM7vdEOxY
Legoshi sighs.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdX7kWvbmM
“Gene,” he calls, “there’s an unhappy customer who wants to see you.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TvHUuu1QP
“Hi, I’m Gene Takovic,” Gene says, walking through the door, “did you know you don’t have rights? Well, the Cinnabon terms of service says you don’t.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvhtbFpzMt
“I want a Cinnabon! And I want it now!” Yells Batman
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHl4xAstTi
“Why don’t we go speak over there, Mr. Man,” Gene says and points to a restaurant on the other side of the mall called Cooper’s Bar.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74nqqXuPrX
Batman and Gene walk over to Cooper’s Bar and sit down.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1v6WkY4rEi
“Now you see,” Gene says, “Cooper’s Bar has almost put us out of business. We don’t have any money to make cinnamon rolls anymore.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwTDqApbkF
Suddenly an angry blonde woman walks in.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5oIu4JufZ
“Oh no…” Gene says.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2vrAojv1K
“What, who is she?” Batman says, “is she a villain?
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dXxQUBuAY
“Worse." Gene says, “My ex-wife Kim Sexler, biggest dick in Hollywood.”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuacoBMNCOb
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBS4BZkECv
“WHERE IS AMY SCHUMER YOU BASTARD???” Kim screams and then drop kicks a three year old child.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHCSNBAm1q
Batman stands up.419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCPYPz05Mb
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGK7qluiQC
“I will not stand for this abuse and violence against children!” He yells, “You’re going straight to Arkham Asylum.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi59XdNGYnP
Kim looks deep into Batman’s soul and for five minutes she stares at him in complete silence, unblinking.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfad5oNddq
“Ok.” she finally says.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0E2zYSER7
Batman is so intimidated he runs away and gets in a taxi cab because he forgot the keys to the batmobile.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99DMrPWRYR
“Take me to the nearest Cinnabon.” Batman says, still hungry for a cinnamon roll.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkv70VGALXc
The driver starts driving, and Batman sits back and relaxes. He starts looking out the window, when something catches his attention from the corner of his eye. He has a sticker in the front with Gotham, New Jersey written on it, and realizes he recognizes the driver as a passerby after his parents’ murder.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4ExQuKg0H
Batman starts sweating. Is it possible he could see through his disguise? No, surely not! He must trust in his disguise.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGE4DorkE1
Suddenly the taxi driver turned around, and Batman quickly jumped out the window of the moving car to defuse the situation.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Cm5SBPsII
He walked up to a man standing around with a baseball bat.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5CUehvmGf
“Sir,” Batman says, “do you know where a billionaire CEO vigilante who dresses up like a bat could go to get a cinnamon roll around here?”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfyyEnfvGm
“Yes, I know of a place exactly like you speak of,” the man says and points to a huge tall building in the sky, “It’s called the Citadel, but no one can get to it.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJPbqwgShf
“And why is that?”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsfbdbL7P4
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcavimqgNQr
“Because Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, is keeping it from us, and even I, Rick Grimes, have no hope of defeating her.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpovF087Osr
Rick looked at his baseball bat.
“This was the baseball bat of my best friend, Mae Borowski. She died trying to get that cinnamon roll…”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjKWLtPjt6
“I know how it feels to lose someone close to you.” Batman says, remembering how he lost his teddy bear Cletus in the movie theater before his parents were murdered.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeG7hEbOEh
Batman put his hand on Rick’s shoulder.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLxm1fUlbZ
“I will help you find the cinnamon roll, and then we will eat it. Together.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnfMgF4b2S
Batman and Rick began their journey to the famed cinnamon roll, killing the zombies of people who have been deprived of cinnamon rolls too long.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAE7xZEGya8
Suddenly a man who neither Batman nor Rick had ever seen before ran up to them.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYPojtUFzV
“Hey, Batman!” He yelled excitedly, “remember me?”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQin9eP24uW
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNVFY6q7b2
“What, no,” Batman says, “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
“From the taxi cab earlier, remember?” he said, disappointed.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILMaEgDo3x
“No, the guy from the taxi cab looked way different and scarier. You look like you probably use 4chan.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRVvFmtZIA
He crossed his arms.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmzQkwuXYN
“My name Jeff,” Jeff says, “and you will take me with you.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4fgb6OZ51
“Fine whatever but you’re stupid.” Batman says, and Batman, Jeff, and Rick finally reach the Citadel and spend 10 hours going up elevators when the elevator stops. The door opens into a small chamber and they walk in, and Rick’s bat and Batman’s batarangs and Jeff’s taxi keys are pulled away from them.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX1GwfRj1J
Lightning shot out of the walls and struck their weapons, and they began to glow blue. They picked up their weapons and the door opened up to reveal an army of Amy Schumer clones, all screaming terrible jokes about men as loud as they could.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mc8ZwNKu6
Rick Grimes looked at his bat, and remembered the last time he came here. He remembered seeing Mae ripped apart by Amy Schumer right in front of his eyes. He slowly looked up and Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar began playing over speakers on loop.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQcs9EeAh1
“This time…it’s personal.” He says.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3s7JCuHr1q
They rush into combat, all fighting valiantly. Jeff slices through Amy clones effortlessly with his key, Batman’s batarang becomes an Amy Schumer seeking weapon of destruction, and Rick obliterates each clone who attacks him with a single blow from his bat. They quickly begin making their way through the massive crowd.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzXRuGbOz0
“Don’t Look Up is the name of the movie? More like don’t look down the barrel of Alec Baldwin’s shotgun!” Screams one of the Schumers and punches Batman in the face, knocking him down to the ground. Jeff tries to stab her but she yells “My husband goes down on me, or as he calls it Squid Game, so he’s in my Nightmare Alley, my House of Gucci, I say C’mon C’mon, he goes tick tick BOOM, he Belfast. I say get off my Dune and that’s how our son was born.” and Jeff is so shocked at how horrible what he just heard is that he drops his key and starts crying.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalpuedQL1v
“Impossible, it can’t be!” Rick yells, “It’s the real Amy Schumer!”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNcrCyEyaK
“Then the only way we can beat her,” Jeff says, “is by telling a joke so great she can’t possibly go on!”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZPZhFf1nd
“Knock knock!” Yells Batman.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5NmcHEm7V
“Who’s there?” Says Amy Schumer.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyunXZiWi5j
“Doctor.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINs5hQEyE3
Amy grins psychotically, like a murderer stalking their victim.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg24RDania
“Oh, that’s alright!” She yells, “We don’t need a doctor, the ambulance already showed up!”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwnG3kG1rZ
Batman and Jeff scream in agony at how quickly and terribly she defused his joke.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXuqdGS56Z
Rick had other plans. Suddenly they felt the temperature drop from 90 degrees to 76 degrees, and Amy Schumer’s smile faded.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdoSE7gV6p
“No! Not 76 degrees, anything but that!” Amy yelled, “The optimal temperature for comedic timing!”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3mO9UStvc
Rick stands 50-80 centimeters from her and raises one of his arms straight upward at a fifteen degree angle from his body, setting up all the conditions perfectly for ideal humor.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkE1vhM7Jo
Amy screeches louder than any human ever has before while Rick states and spells his name, provides a brief synopsis of the joke including the specific times she’ll laugh, and spells out his name a second time.
“Knock knock.” Rick says.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iTxIkz84s
“Wh-who’s there?”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiayIU11x4k
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EpbTZVZDS
“Banana.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmzC8UKa55
“Banano who?”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN45abkp371
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotTjBBtYhS
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrK0DfzfweX
“Banana.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGhLn8MTPX
“Banano who?”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYPalDfO4A
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZXPbnhENT
“Banana.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BB6qgG9JP
“Banano who?”
“Orange.”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qJXG1WK3b
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZUvkn3b1R
“Orange who?”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJv69CFNbk
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07WLaUlCy6
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeD9Ll3MpkN
Amy’s heart stops, and she falls to the ground dead as Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar finally stops.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKH1uZv73n
“I’m doney,” Rick says, “with the funny.”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRU4QgY1F4l
They all look at each other, and nod their heads in agreement, and wade through the corpses of Amy Schumer to the huge metal door.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5Rg7zsWRv
Suddenly it opens into a huge room with Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, standing in the middle, and at the end the final cinnamon roll.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMtafcmGHp
“So, you three killed Amy Schumer?”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TjdWJ9fA0
“Y-yes.” Batman says, already feeling intimidated again.
“...Ok.” Kim says.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdafF03muOa
All three of them almost start crying out of fear, but keep themselves composed.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BL9LLmG8H
They each begin attacking from different angles, but she expertly dodges each hit.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oxjLwQ6Vc
Finally, Rick’s bat connects with her torso but the bat explodes, throwing Rick back.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Xs9PbNfBa
“H-how?” He asks.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nty1UUC1q
“Nanomachines, son.” Kim says with a smirk and then breaks his back, killing him.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKjPjVXopy
“NO!” Jeff yells and rushes at her.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBGfuUdHJ9
Without even a thought Kim hits him over the head with a cup that says “World’s 2nd Best TV Executive” and Jeff slips and hits his head and dies.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPgTEyYAc1
Recognizing he has no chance of ever winning, Batman quickly shuffles back away from her in terror, when he remembers what his Uncle Ben told him all those years ago.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnXR0Ezp7M
“Memes, Bruce.” Ben said, “Memes are the DNA of the soul. With great power comes great responsibility. When life gives you lemons, burn life’s house down! Do you know who ate all the donuts?”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwFfkXx5S1
Inspired by his Uncle’s wise words, he was able to catch Kim Sexler’s attack.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSQkmib7mp
They exchanged punches so quickly that it was impossible for the naked eye to detect, each tanking every single blow. Batman knew what he must do to defeat Kim and finally get that cinnamon roll, he must break his one and only rule. Batman takes out a Desert Eagle and shoots Kim through the face.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTm9AZESlk
“I, I….” Kim says, struggling to stay alive, “this is…chicanery.” And then she drops dead.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXWa12YD3b
Finally, nothing stood between Batman and his cinnamon roll. All this work, all this violence, all this bloodshed, this is what it was for. He slowly walked towards it, chills going down his spine just thinking about it.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4SNmRPX6U
"I'm sorry we couldn't eat it together like I wanted, Rick," Batman says, "but I will eat it for the both of us."
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CA3o9BNmx
Suddenly Legoshi picked up the cinnamon roll and ate it.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3tD0GDQYS
“WHAT?” Screamed Batman.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVgOtNShjT
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Legoshi says.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8utr2yOfz
“P-please,” Batman says, “I just want a cinnamon roll.”419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaxjD3XXkz
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjLjNl81UZ
“Sir, I already told you we’re out of cinnamon rolls. Do I need to call my manager again?”
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4L9A1RAyO
Batman slowly fell to his knees and then onto his side, and began crying on the floor.
419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMPje1qNSO
THE END.
ns216.73.216.175da2
