“Alfred,” Batman said, “I need to think about what’s been going on recently. I’m going to Cinnabon.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOZCxVP6iD
“Yes sir, very good.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jqXdoCYw9
Batman gets in the Batmobile and activates Ludicrous speed, and ends up at Cinnabon in Omaha Nebraska. He walks up to the counter to order his cinnabon food.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbQaqPjrfl
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Says a bored gray wolf from behind the counter.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDOd4K7yJK
“I would like a cinnamon roll, please.” Batman says.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbw7CfF9S74
“Sorry, we don’t sell cinnamon rolls anymore.” Legoshi says.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJTjmZmhEg
“What the hell do you mean!” Batman yells, “This is a Cinnabon!”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJIKg3wNYn
“Sir, please calm down.”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKhj7b6c0h
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPHxHzg7HN
“Calm down? Do you know who I am?!? I’m the goddamn Batman! I want to speak to your manager.”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkv75QiRhBJ
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzS5xZHyXTH
Legoshi sighs.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4g3u6wOZd
“Gene,” he calls, “there’s an unhappy customer who wants to see you.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgQanQD7Mb
“Hi, I’m Gene Takovic,” Gene says, walking through the door, “did you know you don’t have rights? Well, the Cinnabon terms of service says you don’t.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5aB38LkPK
“I want a Cinnabon! And I want it now!” Yells Batman
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5mufYqhEs
“Why don’t we go speak over there, Mr. Man,” Gene says and points to a restaurant on the other side of the mall called Cooper’s Bar.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡol5b6nTyU9
Batman and Gene walk over to Cooper’s Bar and sit down.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68vY1owh81
“Now you see,” Gene says, “Cooper’s Bar has almost put us out of business. We don’t have any money to make cinnamon rolls anymore.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHVX8pR2wk
Suddenly an angry blonde woman walks in.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SSV8ERIQi
“Oh no…” Gene says.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDodvwvHcQ
“What, who is she?” Batman says, “is she a villain?
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMseoEPUV0F
“Worse." Gene says, “My ex-wife Kim Sexler, biggest dick in Hollywood.”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAK8ssYF3NP
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡackDbRX9lJ
“WHERE IS AMY SCHUMER YOU BASTARD???” Kim screams and then drop kicks a three year old child.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQJMBJcaFh
Batman stands up.413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10bmKGp04R
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NhydTZdQj
“I will not stand for this abuse and violence against children!” He yells, “You’re going straight to Arkham Asylum.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyQYv6gslh
Kim looks deep into Batman’s soul and for five minutes she stares at him in complete silence, unblinking.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjUdk8JxEe
“Ok.” she finally says.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKomOhP0bgP
Batman is so intimidated he runs away and gets in a taxi cab because he forgot the keys to the batmobile.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GgtQxl95C
“Take me to the nearest Cinnabon.” Batman says, still hungry for a cinnamon roll.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0Uo4by7FX
The driver starts driving, and Batman sits back and relaxes. He starts looking out the window, when something catches his attention from the corner of his eye. He has a sticker in the front with Gotham, New Jersey written on it, and realizes he recognizes the driver as a passerby after his parents’ murder.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmYzUvdey2
Batman starts sweating. Is it possible he could see through his disguise? No, surely not! He must trust in his disguise.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytwOSMrVb2
Suddenly the taxi driver turned around, and Batman quickly jumped out the window of the moving car to defuse the situation.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YvXoAbdIC
He walked up to a man standing around with a baseball bat.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyQ2BdbcQt
“Sir,” Batman says, “do you know where a billionaire CEO vigilante who dresses up like a bat could go to get a cinnamon roll around here?”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzvuEZsnUj
“Yes, I know of a place exactly like you speak of,” the man says and points to a huge tall building in the sky, “It’s called the Citadel, but no one can get to it.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7j3M7aodh
“And why is that?”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUxO3xOnqI
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p0AvonCXp
“Because Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, is keeping it from us, and even I, Rick Grimes, have no hope of defeating her.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVd33ulRWfL
Rick looked at his baseball bat.
“This was the baseball bat of my best friend, Mae Borowski. She died trying to get that cinnamon roll…”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn9vMU2zOU
“I know how it feels to lose someone close to you.” Batman says, remembering how he lost his teddy bear Cletus in the movie theater before his parents were murdered.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP65vWhEUaw
Batman put his hand on Rick’s shoulder.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZixG7B0Wo
“I will help you find the cinnamon roll, and then we will eat it. Together.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWaJFphwTC
Batman and Rick began their journey to the famed cinnamon roll, killing the zombies of people who have been deprived of cinnamon rolls too long.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBNIvg1hUc
Suddenly a man who neither Batman nor Rick had ever seen before ran up to them.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mlzsCEQUz
“Hey, Batman!” He yelled excitedly, “remember me?”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMWBzJIGhV
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQQ0PtolZp
“What, no,” Batman says, “I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
“From the taxi cab earlier, remember?” he said, disappointed.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoUk1CiOr1
“No, the guy from the taxi cab looked way different and scarier. You look like you probably use 4chan.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OsKdXhHpt
He crossed his arms.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n5UP39u1f
“My name Jeff,” Jeff says, “and you will take me with you.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3A0fKGiUuj
“Fine whatever but you’re stupid.” Batman says, and Batman, Jeff, and Rick finally reach the Citadel and spend 10 hours going up elevators when the elevator stops. The door opens into a small chamber and they walk in, and Rick’s bat and Batman’s batarangs and Jeff’s taxi keys are pulled away from them.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcsL4k1SGE
Lightning shot out of the walls and struck their weapons, and they began to glow blue. They picked up their weapons and the door opened up to reveal an army of Amy Schumer clones, all screaming terrible jokes about men as loud as they could.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFI3xmLCKrB
Rick Grimes looked at his bat, and remembered the last time he came here. He remembered seeing Mae ripped apart by Amy Schumer right in front of his eyes. He slowly looked up and Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar began playing over speakers on loop.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzF68EzAYq
“This time…it’s personal.” He says.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy5NL3LAXb
They rush into combat, all fighting valiantly. Jeff slices through Amy clones effortlessly with his key, Batman’s batarang becomes an Amy Schumer seeking weapon of destruction, and Rick obliterates each clone who attacks him with a single blow from his bat. They quickly begin making their way through the massive crowd.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmSTuWklWJ
“Don’t Look Up is the name of the movie? More like don’t look down the barrel of Alec Baldwin’s shotgun!” Screams one of the Schumers and punches Batman in the face, knocking him down to the ground. Jeff tries to stab her but she yells “My husband goes down on me, or as he calls it Squid Game, so he’s in my Nightmare Alley, my House of Gucci, I say C’mon C’mon, he goes tick tick BOOM, he Belfast. I say get off my Dune and that’s how our son was born.” and Jeff is so shocked at how horrible what he just heard is that he drops his key and starts crying.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYD8weS2jXn
“Impossible, it can’t be!” Rick yells, “It’s the real Amy Schumer!”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbETqZJdGjm
“Then the only way we can beat her,” Jeff says, “is by telling a joke so great she can’t possibly go on!”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYjHbXzCJp
“Knock knock!” Yells Batman.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhURMRKbcS
“Who’s there?” Says Amy Schumer.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKepJIUlOq4
“Doctor.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2ueoz7zxg
Amy grins psychotically, like a murderer stalking their victim.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWujlINK4p
“Oh, that’s alright!” She yells, “We don’t need a doctor, the ambulance already showed up!”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj48M64RdYZ
Batman and Jeff scream in agony at how quickly and terribly she defused his joke.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkUyV4EwQ2
Rick had other plans. Suddenly they felt the temperature drop from 90 degrees to 76 degrees, and Amy Schumer’s smile faded.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14AtsEgaWx
“No! Not 76 degrees, anything but that!” Amy yelled, “The optimal temperature for comedic timing!”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3iIuB5LnJ
Rick stands 50-80 centimeters from her and raises one of his arms straight upward at a fifteen degree angle from his body, setting up all the conditions perfectly for ideal humor.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfjpV0wQSy
Amy screeches louder than any human ever has before while Rick states and spells his name, provides a brief synopsis of the joke including the specific times she’ll laugh, and spells out his name a second time.
“Knock knock.” Rick says.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RhLAyF1LT
“Wh-who’s there?”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQFh3D0b19
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTb3E5cXvI
“Banana.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnovNkqTeZ
“Banano who?”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wAQzhUAq6
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNNDj4q2kt
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdh9KRrQHs
“Banana.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupfqEzk6tg
“Banano who?”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡix2NKGhSVZ
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSIZPFEk4V
“Banana.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oZyahD2AX
“Banano who?”
“Orange.”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JhqvZ7CjR
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgJn4BUcGC
“Orange who?”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tLQqiJ0jT
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhybhct9LhA
“Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6qS2dgEaZ
Amy’s heart stops, and she falls to the ground dead as Heartbreaker by Pat Benetar finally stops.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErmqNwMvS6
“I’m doney,” Rick says, “with the funny.”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEoqzjHpVS
They all look at each other, and nod their heads in agreement, and wade through the corpses of Amy Schumer to the huge metal door.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodQOEA1xZV
Suddenly it opens into a huge room with Kim Sexler, biggest dick in hollywood, standing in the middle, and at the end the final cinnamon roll.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz79cLqqUTP
“So, you three killed Amy Schumer?”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYJjCAt3qv
“Y-yes.” Batman says, already feeling intimidated again.
“...Ok.” Kim says.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaghJoiReUW
All three of them almost start crying out of fear, but keep themselves composed.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNELk1CWnVZ
They each begin attacking from different angles, but she expertly dodges each hit.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmwH6tp0iT
Finally, Rick’s bat connects with her torso but the bat explodes, throwing Rick back.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23IevPpIJq
“H-how?” He asks.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9HDY1Rnid
“Nanomachines, son.” Kim says with a smirk and then breaks his back, killing him.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciLblV5wy9
“NO!” Jeff yells and rushes at her.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYcy2seUJV
Without even a thought Kim hits him over the head with a cup that says “World’s 2nd Best TV Executive” and Jeff slips and hits his head and dies.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSrXzWvFoz
Recognizing he has no chance of ever winning, Batman quickly shuffles back away from her in terror, when he remembers what his Uncle Ben told him all those years ago.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zgyEknS47
“Memes, Bruce.” Ben said, “Memes are the DNA of the soul. With great power comes great responsibility. When life gives you lemons, burn life’s house down! Do you know who ate all the donuts?”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJz8WKNJrnt
Inspired by his Uncle’s wise words, he was able to catch Kim Sexler’s attack.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3XxTDWale
They exchanged punches so quickly that it was impossible for the naked eye to detect, each tanking every single blow. Batman knew what he must do to defeat Kim and finally get that cinnamon roll, he must break his one and only rule. Batman takes out a Desert Eagle and shoots Kim through the face.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorQHYvQ8jc
“I, I….” Kim says, struggling to stay alive, “this is…chicanery.” And then she drops dead.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWozJhmF44z
Finally, nothing stood between Batman and his cinnamon roll. All this work, all this violence, all this bloodshed, this is what it was for. He slowly walked towards it, chills going down his spine just thinking about it.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6Vk8I487K
"I'm sorry we couldn't eat it together like I wanted, Rick," Batman says, "but I will eat it for the both of us."
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4ZEsuQMd6
Suddenly Legoshi picked up the cinnamon roll and ate it.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqBJAK8zKM
“WHAT?” Screamed Batman.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39VuoBqzZ8
“Welcome to Cinnabon, how may I help you?” Legoshi says.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBo5skftpL
“P-please,” Batman says, “I just want a cinnamon roll.”413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIL2phWfnOR
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1k5OJcsqsC
“Sir, I already told you we’re out of cinnamon rolls. Do I need to call my manager again?”
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30qYY6x5xE
Batman slowly fell to his knees and then onto his side, and began crying on the floor.
413Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UmEzgjQtQ
THE END.
ns216.73.216.229da2
