(原作:美宅男夢工廠 by 歐巴龍)
我是鬼,五十年前因一時輕敵被該死的神父封印,今天終於有個智障把我放出來了。596Please respect copyright.PENANAecqAJgo5Xx
596Please respect copyright.PENANAIKfImUD4jA
「啊,我不小心撞到了。」596Please respect copyright.PENANAdvz3a4Ccob
596Please respect copyright.PENANATNrTZUHo75
戴著眼鏡的矮個子從地上撿起斷成兩截的十字架,那十字架做工精細,將耶穌受難的神情刻得栩栩如生,偏偏斷截處又恰好在耶穌的頸子,這彷彿是褻瀆聖子的舉動,嚇得他面色一陣發白。596Please respect copyright.PENANA1zfbM0Ysjm
596Please respect copyright.PENANAjVj3C7geuq
我滿意點頭。596Please respect copyright.PENANAxqgZB8oiLT
596Please respect copyright.PENANAnVIUWy8aPd
很好,這就是我要的效果,愧疚吧!顫抖吧!你們內心的恐懼都將成為我的食糧!596Please respect copyright.PENANAo6ptIZinaK
596Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3rArIG9pL
一旁的高個青年放下行李,接過十字架研究了會,搖頭說:「沒辦法,賠錢吧。」596Please respect copyright.PENANA9I7xlKz2FK
596Please respect copyright.PENANAkjF74Cx10Z
「不知貴不貴?」596Please respect copyright.PENANA4hgtUi1kJQ
596Please respect copyright.PENANAseCsOuC2eE
「應該還好。」596Please respect copyright.PENANAmHOXgtTPIw
596Please respect copyright.PENANAzKjrI5ZTky
「不過我第一次看到飯店會在房裡放十字架耶。」596Please respect copyright.PENANAOZFVuWeBjJ
596Please respect copyright.PENANACiibtb4xOk
「我也是,也有可能是上一個房客落下的。」596Please respect copyright.PENANAxwqHlFAodh
596Please respect copyright.PENANAfMRM9IlPIE
兩人說著,就扔下十字架,各自從包裡掏出一個15吋的加蓋四方形儀器,分別坐在桌邊和床上看了起來。596Please respect copyright.PENANAImbWC6a4KY
596Please respect copyright.PENANAiHzoTZhzyu
我震驚了。596Please respect copyright.PENANAK0SkwnqVkn
596Please respect copyright.PENANAgeHUkrG0Y5
不對啊,你們不是該為冒犯神明一事瑟瑟發抖或心生不祥嗎?怎麼可以這麼鎮定?596Please respect copyright.PENANAftdQBsOmNd
596Please respect copyright.PENANA7n42EFF15q
話說回來,剛這兩個人類說的是哪國語言?596Please respect copyright.PENANAtAIb7FY62E
596Please respect copyright.PENANAFovWzg71dV
「小語。」高個子捧著四方形儀器坐到矮個子身邊,「我這邊有個Design problem能幫我看一下嗎?」596Please respect copyright.PENANAu7hCjiTxYo
596Please respect copyright.PENANA3e6091KuxG
喔,總算聽到熟悉的語言,我立刻湊過去,邊在心裡計畫各種嚇人詭計,誰知我一靠近,就被那四方形儀器映射出來的畫面嚇得倒退三舍。596Please respect copyright.PENANAdq2CeYB1iQ
596Please respect copyright.PENANAR7Ea67XSdp
What the hell?596Please respect copyright.PENANA9tMI8clWHb
596Please respect copyright.PENANAEEsI1KcdTD
那些密密麻麻的數字符號和文字是什麼東西?為何每一個拆開我都懂,合起來我就看不懂?難道又是教會新研發的鎮鬼經文?596Please respect copyright.PENANAAESKAotMnk
596Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9sKCZV2iV
幸好我躲了半天,都沒感覺到不適,才又慢慢飄過去,聽他們嘰哩呱啦摻雜一些英文詞彙的對話,什麼Project,什麼Function,If不If,還有……Parent & child?596Please respect copyright.PENANAzfJeRAGU9y
596Please respect copyright.PENANA9SWZN5J2kR
嘶——596Please respect copyright.PENANAO7s5rwKimY
596Please respect copyright.PENANAOLNju9HI5Y
我驚疑打量他們只要是黃種人就分不出差別和年紀的臉,開始對他們的關係感到疑惑。但不管怎麼樣,管他們是日本人還是越南人,就算是印度來的,只要是活人,這口糧我都吃定了!596Please respect copyright.PENANABKWnDNkX8Z
596Please respect copyright.PENANAFbJ1d9SI0v
陰風輕輕地吹,一隻冰涼的鬼爪胡亂往矮個子的腰窩戳。596Please respect copyright.PENANAgZk2epkX5o
596Please respect copyright.PENANALONncroNMf
「夏熠輝你幹嘛啦?很癢耶。」矮個子咯咯亂笑,捶了高個子一記。596Please respect copyright.PENANAX4yycAEpwz
596Please respect copyright.PENANAea4lURfSDb
正注視「鎮鬼經文」的高個子回過頭,投以茫然目光,「哈啊?什麼?我聽不懂。」596Please respect copyright.PENANAUFfaqYTF0x
596Please respect copyright.PENANAnKG2FkJZ34
矮個子撇了撇嘴,咕噥一句「又來!」就看回「鎮鬼經文」,「沒什麼,你看這裡……」596Please respect copyright.PENANA9iRjaak69K
596Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8ZGGxp5Mn
「 嗯。」高個子應完,就順手攬住矮個子的腰,看起來像將對方抱在懷裡。596Please respect copyright.PENANAOu5CsrxeOv
596Please respect copyright.PENANAOG0JN5OfsU
我也投以茫然目光,感覺哪裡怪怪的。596Please respect copyright.PENANA8iujlq4G7m
596Please respect copyright.PENANAzVNdWqG8Rp
但身為一個高端的鬼,必須不能使用重複伎倆,於是我飄到高個子身邊,俯身在他耳邊輕笑低語,「嘻嘻嘻,要不要陪我玩?」596Please respect copyright.PENANALvMEBiNV0J
596Please respect copyright.PENANABXfaXOTloh
然而高個子不為所動!596Please respect copyright.PENANA0VNN8pEZaH
596Please respect copyright.PENANA71F89KVlUq
我不死心,再說:「我的腳……你把我的腳藏到哪了?」596Please respect copyright.PENANAnj6CSt2moY
596Please respect copyright.PENANArkWan37Kak
高個子依然面不改色!596Please respect copyright.PENANAoOlGzifwri
596Please respect copyright.PENANA42Tbn45f0q
我大怒,直接用吼的,「你死定了!我要殺了你!殺殺殺!」596Please respect copyright.PENANAF9XHgbTRFg
596Please respect copyright.PENANAaf3wV3Kmen
這次高個子終於有動作了。他皺眉掏了掏耳朵,取出一個小巧的儀器擦一擦再戴回去。596Please respect copyright.PENANA7Q0yXR6NgI
596Please respect copyright.PENANAEVbZeBSPk3
這一刻,我吐血,如果鬼還有血的話。596Please respect copyright.PENANAfL5f9FnOB6
596Please respect copyright.PENANAXVPlib2gR1
矮個子比手畫腳地問:「怎麼了?」596Please respect copyright.PENANAep146R4qZr
596Please respect copyright.PENANAfSTgZHoIDn
高個子搖搖頭,「助聽器有點雜音,大概之前下雨淋到了。」596Please respect copyright.PENANAMGm4Uz0BVn
596Please respect copyright.PENANAl8uBgpmOnr
馬的!原來這傢伙是個聾子!596Please respect copyright.PENANAOTgZu5aPvj
596Please respect copyright.PENANAbF7TzILS3u
受到打擊的我窩回角落自閉,直到那兩人蓋上四方形儀器,起身從行李掏出衣物,一前一後地進了浴室,我才精神一振。596Please respect copyright.PENANAKl2TQeJ7op
596Please respect copyright.PENANA87QaGVXWfU
方才一定是因為「鎮鬼經文」的關係,才讓我出師不利,現在就應該趁他們不在,先把那可疑的四方形儀器毀掉。於是我磨拳擦掌地飄到桌前,準備用最狠厲殘暴的手段摧毀敵人時,就赫然驚見四方形儀器上頭壓著一袋綠色包裝物,那包裝物上頭還印著一個露出兩顆門牙的小傢伙笑容燦爛,這殺傷力不大,但污辱性極強!596Please respect copyright.PENANAJiyiLjb1zJ
596Please respect copyright.PENANAVXtbfXppa8
這時,浴室傳來我聽不懂的對話。596Please respect copyright.PENANA85Y89e2qut
596Please respect copyright.PENANANio6MD1I9F
「為什麼要擺那包零食?」596Please respect copyright.PENANA2f2Xk2SZnW
596Please respect copyright.PENANAvSmrXtcdAt
「那是我們台灣的電腦保護神,只要有綠乖乖,所有電子設備都一定會乖乖運作。」596Please respect copyright.PENANA9FpGTYgrzR
596Please respect copyright.PENANA81qZPQL9YR
「所以不能吃嗎?」596Please respect copyright.PENANABbh6aihxmY
596Please respect copyright.PENANAFbdjeVeAQ9
「不能,吃了就沒用了。」596Please respect copyright.PENANAhLwKUEKUJI
596Please respect copyright.PENANAfFA1ZM7yAa
「但我餓了。」596Please respect copyright.PENANAM8sfZVRXy8
596Please respect copyright.PENANAkt0GVcypcH
「……」596Please respect copyright.PENANAOfNOn5f2x8
596Please respect copyright.PENANAT9Y5nd7CVp
此時此刻的我已被怒火佔據理智,絲毫沒意識到哪裡不對勁,只一心想給這兩個該死的人類好看,便動用所有力量顯現身影,以最猙獰駭人的面貌衝進浴室,並開始期待人類被嚇得屁滾尿流的畫面。596Please respect copyright.PENANAFOWVHg3uP6
596Please respect copyright.PENANAXMIUhq8TI7
哇哈哈哈,驚嚇吧!恐懼吧!人……596Please respect copyright.PENANA70ia6l4izJ
596Please respect copyright.PENANAHj5uYxYgBM
「啊……夏熠輝……那裡不、不行……」596Please respect copyright.PENANAaDD1gibGQ6
596Please respect copyright.PENANABuIDGWqFe9
「小語……小語……」596Please respect copyright.PENANAIdsU5yJZEw
596Please respect copyright.PENANAISKZkhmVLz
Gya——596Please respect copyright.PENANANoyw2qhIYT
596Please respect copyright.PENANAd3XHKHZIf6
我發出了比曾被我嚇暈的人類還要驚恐的慘叫。596Please respect copyright.PENANAasemstj57I
596Please respect copyright.PENANAzF2CnFbQdR
They are fucking gay!596Please respect copyright.PENANA5WV9iCanUl
596Please respect copyright.PENANAWZfjfiTV1s
這如同撒旦一般邪惡的存在,徹底嚇破我的小心靈,讓我一秒縮回十字架,還很自覺地將耶穌的頸子接回來。596Please respect copyright.PENANAXzT1mejG23
596Please respect copyright.PENANAV5IcggsyN7
Oh no!No!No!No!No!Hell no!596Please respect copyright.PENANA3XscgiKA56
596Please respect copyright.PENANATEl1xiMLKU
五十年過去,沒想到人間已經變成撒旦的天下,上帝你這不爭氣的傢伙啊!我看我還是繼續沉眠吧。596Please respect copyright.PENANAmDLjhREfCj
596Please respect copyright.PENANAis67oGHkvj
浴室裡,秋推了下將自己壓在牆邊的人,沒戴眼鏡的雙眼一片朦朧,「等、等一下,你剛有沒有聽見什麼?」596Please respect copyright.PENANARDNJWkOwTT
596Please respect copyright.PENANAYYD5lrjXtr
「嗯?什麼?」夏抱緊懷裡的腰持續衝刺,臉上的神情既迷離又色情,顯然是又聽不見。596Please respect copyright.PENANAqVQvEGeRBR
596Please respect copyright.PENANAE3kSkOMgwK
秋瞇了瞇眼,心想算了,就夾緊雙腿,繼續在夏的律動下扯著喉嚨嗯嗯啊啊。596Please respect copyright.PENANAI6KGIxi0PH
596Please respect copyright.PENANAAqme98l2j8
Treat or trick,不給糖,就「搗」蛋!596Please respect copyright.PENANAYWy5vQI8T4
596Please respect copyright.PENANAmuFXinbhBR
(P.S. 被關五十年的美國鬼,觀念保守,用詞不政確,請見諒(艸)596Please respect copyright.PENANAYP0RjZS3Zo
後記:
此為噗浪幾位文友自辦的【原創文手交換寫同人】活動,這次我抽到的交換對象是歐巴龍,恰逢萬聖節,就來應個景啦XD
難得參加活動,真的是非常有趣的體驗,為此我還重看了一遍《美宅男夢工場》又作了很多筆記,結果最後都沒用上🤣
本來也想隱藏風格,來寫個憂鬱正經風,讓文友猜不到我是誰,但我想來想去,實在想不到切入點,就索性放飛啦XDDD
另外,抽到我的文友是君羊,寫的是《因罪溫存》的顧懷唷,喜歡顧醫師的歡迎點以下網址來看!
#猜猜我是誰 #原創文手交換寫同人 #喵芭閉關坑司機中: #因罪溫存 #賭博
596Please respect copyright.PENANA9xRJR7MSE0