Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5s4U1B0h6
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ00By5F4O
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiLngG4q2n
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaTWDBEkZp
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvI5gBsOr5
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk38CHYWMZJ
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ulkt9wbA6
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabzlMpBDoW
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsl3DFdBnE
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6R6pTeg1V0
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWsJBh4I9q
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmAkeh9Ps2
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRW5pHvUI35
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKVRMJfpJ3
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygtGBvmCxC
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6MgfxjFoH
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsVBJaw1yj
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouxp8KMJKd
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2nABIvIKA
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBC7DfhfX0
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5sPRNXqKR
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKg0Ib1EM4b
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkoJHNWnXT
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2uuWNANjs
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANJuJ6bzdk
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP3yoQQCm2
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFn05pK4KfX
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHGWCWcqMd
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9Lmbp2jLv
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a1utP5SUp
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BbQPdbuFe
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwEijF17fm
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8f33qYxuFn
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPu280InpmJ
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnCN6CPXSO
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcY90VUQJqD
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3RUZhNI58
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2L0hJQ8Mr
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAV8HwWDQF
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgSUb6e5wh
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJLaCoxig5
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRSJ6hHOH8
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF6DJhTdyN
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NQBE8cBbp
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6Wo9erljm
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2L5IeIQV2
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifYQMkC2i9
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLiaei7ejE
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYyDAdKXCU
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs53izFWifu
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosg03piqvo
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2lFOwxTVj
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmpBMVGR0u
*•*•*•*964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf79w8sVDGk
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvw9wq3A4S
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2JwLRfUAl
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvn2eU9l3cn
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPyeMnVfxB
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxg9Egp3QJ
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBn8fMXIgW
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgFEnzGq4o
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKun5re8HrM
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgI4MMxXSRL
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhtRIPi0jn
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCgKaGJaD0
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Us4tHwZQc
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagLcj7YW3c
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40DRzoZXD8
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVT88ML7sm
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRIz6yBJaM
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMMSC5K2WR
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnoRSM2LKb
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcODejemoDm
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSk2MrlQdM
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6OhQRW6V8
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowjAOFfNNe
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYvpQS9oTy
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeeheMufL8
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtd569I7Ja
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYa6XryGLo8
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTeU7oXODw
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXB2qco6er
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr2qeqEeEw
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZA179gAUt
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXRsv7gz3f
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE07MzcDqy4
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSpsj6hPzU
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitYZyHhEps
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSskSJC71U
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcbt2PUgIL
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUYSKKaFCZ
"It won't be painful—"964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXf2zzx67Ph
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6R9VKKwKOY
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgfyQm5grc
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YU38eYNWZ
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UlGN75Zxk
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlnVzvsQnH
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDp2NbgAmId
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZ8I1jp6cY
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVWyit4TQ8
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzPTN3d7Kk
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljmsT1BhWJ
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGk2hqmjzd
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqRWKyh2Bq
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKwrF6D5tL
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5PGtTO8wP
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEjiDXZlp5
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhvGKvBJVo
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHMqZ4gEHP
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSKz3isTBI
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnb1zU7Amr
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtd4Qsrjk8S
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fHsdoBl1f
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprrAcyTfkg
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3xw5i286o
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjMW1MwA3E
This is it.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciZ9lUcG2N
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsv0UuQsb9f
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgSE5l3XyQ
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9ekoXfa6O
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6T7oJY6hQ
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmmzrgSn25
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPTbMcqYtV
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rFUie8mEW
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm996yhgEz
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7r7u4laogL
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJj3eSufjLs
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2SAC6Nfa5
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYQMP1U57c
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKpLX5DNj1
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWieC9zA9Fa
I freeze.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAB2gHNggIk
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluTbx2HmMK
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdShbnWMDPm
Then I breathe.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcTBb196TJ
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9ioRMZ1sz
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfuhD5JHoW
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWAoBMH1Us
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOT9f1Fm04
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEK74Y9pzG
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtWbZBbolQ
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAFJfxext1
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRBQrFOMCW
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEZMG9LxRv
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3pPUCYPa7
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW051aiMtrL
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkXwNiVuZQ
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogGLZKdGKO
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYad1zWMjF
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdA5S5VKHDb
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLwqZv93Lc
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooAaFR2jqV
Something isn't right.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJkr3bvDd8
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0QumdyWXj
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRhMaKuGIQ
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPp84ZQUoV
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHxWlIECrp
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PO32feq5m
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoOXZeKthd
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0RzEGMJk7
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01Zr5rxbip
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP07w6f00cV
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HD14dE2m3
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1rMLYebTT
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMqHtCuQl1
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xmnMGBCC2
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXuA0NWpLK
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8r7ItQJFKu
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWkvKlLe27
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI01dOryZoy
His lips twitch. 964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKNnZ5S1KF
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAw9WlX2SFc
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7FF9nRCVB
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORip1J1tbW
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWa1EfHrHR
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGshboTCDx
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjK6kzqHAT
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TsN1iFMt2
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXf3bgT2yJr
"Okay so what do I have?"964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uMm8nZgQu
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgwOXmFjQC
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0Z4WnbA1O
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TmTky7pMr
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqnAF9XC2p
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgiq0zNbNq
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9MdXEycKO
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6eamqasIS
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhxlEBbEPc
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSvNMFRuqe
964Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3ES0VE9JO
