每次想及那傢伙,他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久,恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代,彷彿不曾生起。442Please respect copyright.PENANAf4l9vFUQvb
輕嘆一聲。442Please respect copyright.PENANAunmN6Wyg6j
442Please respect copyright.PENANAAQ9TaUugik
媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。442Please respect copyright.PENANAAR8lsLH6WQ
442Please respect copyright.PENANAHZX24ugrJP
她是個不起眼的女人,普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱,喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱,露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時,從後環抱她的大腿,把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻,消暑妙法。442Please respect copyright.PENANAUH69WuxTdc
442Please respect copyright.PENANA6gy3oRBY2e
以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業,或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」,離家出走。442Please respect copyright.PENANAe3FqQ5s6V2
442Please respect copyright.PENANAwNLxZ0cRbS
他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。442Please respect copyright.PENANARKiaPFMFVi
442Please respect copyright.PENANAbPdz4luEJw
茫無頭緒,直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點:變。「感情」,對媽媽毫不重要,否則她不會狠心如此;「淡」是相對而非絕對,若無經歷過對立的「濃」,「淡」其實不是問題;由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」,也就是問題癥結所在。442Please respect copyright.PENANA2vVPHRHcnK
442Please respect copyright.PENANApVlohrirUb
為何會變?如何變?可否不變?442Please respect copyright.PENANAkzX1qk20g1
442Please respect copyright.PENANA6503wUFrdr
他百思不得其解。442Please respect copyright.PENANALd6NVdkkBL
再聲輕嘆。442Please respect copyright.PENANAl49YXwKm3k
442Please respect copyright.PENANA5taDchq4Gd
阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。442Please respect copyright.PENANAtzskPyilpF
442Please respect copyright.PENANA2dGXFxfNZv
舊同學聚會裡,他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑,努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶,他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。442Please respect copyright.PENANAd14Ndhjqtb
442Please respect copyright.PENANAASEyvvQyGL
真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱:學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測,根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌,妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意,露出一個輕蔑笑容。442Please respect copyright.PENANAM4RreseqMJ
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昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑,不再努力尋找共同話題。442Please respect copyright.PENANAIPttNlR49d
442Please respect copyright.PENANAFTDqFiAtxM
緣起緣滅,不由自主。442Please respect copyright.PENANA8j4bdUYbT4
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既要緣滅,何必緣起?442Please respect copyright.PENANAY8aSCepWqU
442Please respect copyright.PENANAUmnjvSfq3Z
他百思不得其解。442Please respect copyright.PENANAoALTasmNRg
輕嘆有三。442Please respect copyright.PENANAcjidZXpZMT
442Please respect copyright.PENANAtFGgFezhdY
自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。442Please respect copyright.PENANA4ShCOwtm5b
442Please respect copyright.PENANAELlZnUelqx
身影有前無後。難怪,少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣,像北斗,可導航。他苦笑,笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗?只好抬頭望天。天無星,難打卦。無卦,有掛,掛心的掛。掛甚麼?不知道,總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼?不知道,難以言明。442Please respect copyright.PENANAE2dUJgbzzV
442Please respect copyright.PENANAHh8Fc2kXkj
鬱悶。442Please respect copyright.PENANA9pvHNt2zYb
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懷念媽媽的腿,想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球,想要奪走。442Please respect copyright.PENANA9tzwY3TiUW
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去抱!去奪!442Please respect copyright.PENANAkaW3fHtUu7
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抱甚麼?腿已不在。442Please respect copyright.PENANACGHPPhcT8u
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奪甚麼?球已不在。442Please respect copyright.PENANA8T13oSE0Vs
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為何不在?為何統統不在?442Please respect copyright.PENANAMd3x4lH5Iz
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那傢伙沒有回答,繼續前行。442Please respect copyright.PENANAliDadr5N0K
442Please respect copyright.PENANAakyqJQZbuB
停下來!442Please respect copyright.PENANAlGHcS9UwtE
442Please respect copyright.PENANAbABOr6sHNn
那傢伙沒有回答,繼續前行。442Please respect copyright.PENANAdTNmQe7uFO
442Please respect copyright.PENANAJCNgjWShjl
慢下來!442Please respect copyright.PENANAkn7WUpzT9O
442Please respect copyright.PENANAm3lv7xwctt
那傢伙沒有回答,繼續前行。442Please respect copyright.PENANAd8uwunu5VA
442Please respect copyright.PENANAHLrix2aQfB
他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花,花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停,他累他停。回頭一望,是天不是地。何時開始背朝天?不肯定,許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭,盡力挺身。不果,只得餘生躬背望地,無法望背望星。442Please respect copyright.PENANAkjWsMFUp77
442Please respect copyright.PENANAFVtNFcu2TZ
孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬,他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子,他說無法選擇,人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主,他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變?他答不出話來,淚目凝視孫兒。442Please respect copyright.PENANA5vVXjYs65W
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昔日的他,今日的孫。442Please respect copyright.PENANAoshJfmXnQs
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永劫,輪迴。442Please respect copyright.PENANAkuOUrN19EX
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不敢思,不求解。442Please respect copyright.PENANATl3LTN8THk
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嘆,嘆,嘆。442Please respect copyright.PENANAJXgPWr7Tov
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孫兒問他是否有煩惱,願為他出謀解決。442Please respect copyright.PENANAShQlQWTAR1
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他搖頭。442Please respect copyright.PENANAj9DAW1PLvJ
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深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註:此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章442Please respect copyright.PENANA19wky2Bc4B
442Please respect copyright.PENANAFDMEk1Ke3q