每次想及那傢伙，他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久，恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代，彷彿不曾生起。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraXoQNkkdU
輕嘆一聲。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29OPilwBfh
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWpsXeD50z
媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5y4KitBuK
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7azDnHhI3
她是個不起眼的女人，普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱，喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱，露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時，從後環抱她的大腿，把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻，消暑妙法。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJtFv9x7qz
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNcfMoyY1X
以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業，或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」，離家出走。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP98VylheVU
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmC3CqogV6H
他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7epLsGoTRQ
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOy5W7twqG
茫無頭緒，直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點：變。「感情」，對媽媽毫不重要，否則她不會狠心如此；「淡」是相對而非絕對，若無經歷過對立的「濃」，「淡」其實不是問題；由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」，也就是問題癥結所在。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyPUBAZTUe
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY4TMXnUn3
為何會變？如何變？可否不變？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5qZaWg5ma
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBi4Eg8SdQ
他百思不得其解。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRnadFWAbf
再聲輕嘆。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiUh1OKDyM
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbuguJLfKs
阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6zA97ewKT
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZD6KHe609
舊同學聚會裡，他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶，他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijn0yWXKAp
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVykrR4bcI
真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱：學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測，根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌，妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意，露出一個輕蔑笑容。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtXhqiw6ia
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDGUQc8Ie9
昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，不再努力尋找共同話題。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PyUj3gMIB
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFz1NNf6mjy
緣起緣滅，不由自主。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0w2BqBlr3
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsIRp9tY7e
既要緣滅，何必緣起？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfjsqjG11p
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEZqQUJdvX
他百思不得其解。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVw2tZsBc88
輕嘆有三。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJc7n18CJu
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8IdN9HuTB
自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xwZzd6Ein
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSS8hX0lZ9R
身影有前無後。難怪，少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣，像北斗，可導航。他苦笑，笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗？只好抬頭望天。天無星，難打卦。無卦，有掛，掛心的掛。掛甚麼？不知道，總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼？不知道，難以言明。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJctCtvDIv2
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcrMRuQIkC
鬱悶。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh06Rsid4wQ
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROwuQuVA6o
懷念媽媽的腿，想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球，想要奪走。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKG0LN2fYy
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu11THPBoKh
去抱！去奪！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf0X3ZVgXW
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6KOLV4ynT
抱甚麼？腿已不在。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3EgGWqGK1
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCZtYsVoaa
奪甚麼？球已不在。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWOddKlpRJ
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLmXhR91qS
為何不在？為何統統不在？442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWoZ4a2UOR
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81llFfihMw
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffUdtt01ZB
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7XTvhYaA9
停下來！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxd3cL0vQ3
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRtythUPHc
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaZ0AeABrS
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqITFFqgmS
慢下來！442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUob4xymKF
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIf6jVyA0jZ
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvc0Lsv4EkF
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwluyOIcU7
他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花，花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停，他累他停。回頭一望，是天不是地。何時開始背朝天？不肯定，許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭，盡力挺身。不果，只得餘生躬背望地，無法望背望星。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pW0KhpS4a
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhGSHpoarV
孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬，他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子，他說無法選擇，人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主，他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變？他答不出話來，淚目凝視孫兒。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKA3fYjlX2E
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa1k4rNZfzM
昔日的他，今日的孫。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqeM4Ukp3B
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HTN4yJsCT
永劫，輪迴。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEecleWhMn
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2d1STsMU2
不敢思，不求解。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKKkFvIMQx
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXv4cpPROUg
嘆，嘆，嘆。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUEWCoH7O3
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7FGH6GsoA
孫兒問他是否有煩惱，願為他出謀解決。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshWVcYC4PL
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVriTpUId3A
他搖頭。442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGbU2irs7z
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnU1K3FBTLq
深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwYZWqlXCB
442Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsF6XRmTa1N
