每次想及那傢伙，他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久，恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代，彷彿不曾生起。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Mybmsj55h
輕嘆一聲。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlBg7KRzlm
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡblBmLLG3cb
媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lkhi1ERZt
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrxDp1aGgB
她是個不起眼的女人，普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱，喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱，露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時，從後環抱她的大腿，把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻，消暑妙法。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5m3YzAC6wB
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOdMoX9T4C
以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業，或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」，離家出走。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfFDWNSB4R
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILaeSQ1mF7
他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9h49mebVM
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZsSXCHTnG
茫無頭緒，直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點：變。「感情」，對媽媽毫不重要，否則她不會狠心如此；「淡」是相對而非絕對，若無經歷過對立的「濃」，「淡」其實不是問題；由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」，也就是問題癥結所在。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqjMK1TiHj
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GE9aVpY77
為何會變？如何變？可否不變？440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gXrRYIgSP
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXVc7l2O6L
他百思不得其解。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gZFQDOkyu
再聲輕嘆。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdKFLjtKrW
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHNlvdrqk1
阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVl1rARS4p
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOs8AsNGAC
舊同學聚會裡，他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶，他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgltz192PVl
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CSLIye5kZ
真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱：學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測，根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌，妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意，露出一個輕蔑笑容。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KMIyP5R8m
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4NjxWH2Ks
昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，不再努力尋找共同話題。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bQ51MrCZt
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p3j4zWjyi
緣起緣滅，不由自主。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyOg85g3O7
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOzWue54ni
既要緣滅，何必緣起？440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrvtuoqGo3
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡof8iWScI2C
他百思不得其解。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOm8c0TkO6
輕嘆有三。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUcV9rEn0f
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsJbgfLPgf
自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Skx6bNl3e
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoiLhNEmM3
身影有前無後。難怪，少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣，像北斗，可導航。他苦笑，笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗？只好抬頭望天。天無星，難打卦。無卦，有掛，掛心的掛。掛甚麼？不知道，總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼？不知道，難以言明。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdz8v3g5pOm
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7Nr2dFMKv
鬱悶。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjU5g6g1zKW
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSj5lGfxGN
懷念媽媽的腿，想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球，想要奪走。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDdovOMmxb
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr2R3K1rxm
去抱！去奪！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZnlESJbAv
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9tc0FxIWK
抱甚麼？腿已不在。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlB7YPxOen
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkfgZqdN7f
奪甚麼？球已不在。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPNgBbj9rd
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxaF3zXgbY
為何不在？為何統統不在？440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVzF086I5w
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8uGLtyGL1
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7hfVVYS3n
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XU2PxbgV1
停下來！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcymNVGdby
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3ruSeNybE
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIeT2PO5I3
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpAjqMecGJ
慢下來！440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rJpG9ZPu9
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvLZidnsQV
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUIHVej69f
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYZipG5u4n
他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花，花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停，他累他停。回頭一望，是天不是地。何時開始背朝天？不肯定，許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭，盡力挺身。不果，只得餘生躬背望地，無法望背望星。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAySt0HqaPS
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HujjLO8DF
孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬，他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子，他說無法選擇，人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主，他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變？他答不出話來，淚目凝視孫兒。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthdpVaxYMB
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEPIrOxkJn
昔日的他，今日的孫。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbn1vuXbiR3
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRQT9tCFUj
永劫，輪迴。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYsdjrPkQT
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqErohKmDu
不敢思，不求解。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M4nmAf4TB
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXTrY9XPT0
嘆，嘆，嘆。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QT8CWpTk0
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XRHwTSYeM
孫兒問他是否有煩惱，願為他出謀解決。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MlfXUjh45
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLLQLxp96z
他搖頭。440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSa5h5fiQP
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uyRYLbPvH
深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8peHxVNpk
440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcY8TK7pTgz
